Over Heard in Dublin 1

Thomasjo

---

Future WAG's

Walking through Penneys in Omni, Santry and two girls (velure
tracksuits, high pony tails, the works) are shopping.

Blonde girl: "I'd love dat dress, but me legs will look huge in
it."
(bare in mind she was about a size 8)

Brunette: ""all ye need is a birre confidence Amy. You don't
want to be payin for yer own drinks all yer life, do ye?"

Overheard by Jessi, Omni, Santry.

---

Take That!

At the 'Take That' concert in Croke Park. The queue outside the
ladies during an interval was very long. Not wanting to miss the
show a few care-free ladies decided to avail of the under-used
Gents facility, but were surprised to be met by a guy in his
thirties complaining... "What the F*** are ye women doing in
here in the gents toilets?" Most were quietly embarrassed but
were delighted to hear a young Dublin lady respond.. "What the
F*** are you doing at a Take That concert?" before watching the
guy squirm back out the toilet door with no more to say for
himself.

Overheard by Paul Greham, Did\'nt hear it meself obviously. The
wife was tellig me.

---

Strict Dress Code!!!

Two lads from Dublin (dressed in snickers gear!) making a
delivery to a Dunnes Stores in Cork. The manager stops them at
the back door and tells them they cant come inside without a
hi-vis vest on.

"No problem" says the older fella, "Can we just borrow two from
the store while we drop the stock off?"

"Ah no" says the manager "that's only one issue. I cant let yis
in dressed like that lads, it's slacks and black shoes only."

With that the younger fella comes out with a classic: "Jaysus,
we're not trying to get into a f**king nightclub!"

Overheard by Daithi, Dunnes Stores, Cork

---

Asking for it

Mary Harney election poster in Finglas - political slogan "Don't
throw it away!" ...added speech bubble "I'll eat it!"

Overheard by Ciara, Finglas

---

Fowl play

Out having a few beers with some American lads over from
California to work with us for a few weeks. One of the yanks
calls over a young barmaid to buy a round.

Yank: "Can I have 5 pints of Guinness, two pints of Bulmers and
I'll have a Wild Turkey."

Barmaid looking slightly puzzled walks away, comes back 10 mins
later, with guinness & cider and says...."sorry we've no turkey,
but I can get you a chicken sandwich."

Overheard by wally jones, Laurels Pub , Clondalkin

Thomasjo

Great aunt

Sitting on the Luas a woman in her early 30s comes on screaming
down the mobile phone
"I don't effing care how long you're with her...you're only 19
for eff sake and that young wan is what...16? but that's not
even what is really p*ssing me off you've made me a great aunt
at the ripe old age of 32 ya little B*****d."

Overheard by Sarah, Jervis stop

==========================================================
Shopping Spree

Walking along with my boyfriend in town one Saturday afternoon
when just as we walked by a couple; man laden down with bags and
girlfriend/wife with excited shopping look in her face
we heard
this:

Girl: "Oooh lets just pop in here for a sec..."

Disgruntled Man: "No. You're not the one paying for the f***ing
parking space"

Overheard by Ciara, Wicklow Street

===========================================================
An oul exhibit

One afternoon in the National Museum in Dublin. An exhibition of
5,000 year old bodies which had been found preserved in Irish
bogs..... After viewing one of these bodies, an elderly Dublin
woman turned to her son and said with heartfelt sympathy: "Ah
the lord 'ave mercy on 'im, I bet he never thought he was goin'
to end up in here".

Overheard by Deirdre, National Museum, Dublin

===========================================================
Recession BUSting

Was on the 150 bus at christchurch the other day were there was
3 shams taking their time to cross the road (you know the type,
smokes in there ear, tracksuit bottoms tucked into the
stockins)anyway as the bus was hurdling towards them the driver
pops up and shouts 3 for the price of 1, what reccesion???
The whole bus was in hysterics.

Overheard by patrick, 150 bus
===========================================================

Denier?

Guy and girl, both mid-twenties, in a cafe in NUI Maynooth.

Guy: "Saw a great documentary on the Holocaust last night."
Girl: "Hmmm..."
Guy: "Do you even know what the Holocaust was?"
Girl: "Wasn't it the nuclear thing?"

Overheard by robert munnelly, cafe in NUI Maynooth

============================================================
Empties!

A lounge girl new on the job and a bit nervous as shes clearing
glasses from a table full of old guys. As she is being handed an
empty glass from one of the guys
Guy: "Another Deadman"
Lounge girl: "Another Deadman, I'll get it for you now".

Overheard by catherine, Pub in Ballinteer

==========================================================
Monday Blues..

First thing in the morning, double science. Junior cert revision
yeoooo..

Anyway, biology..human reproduction.

*Teacher* What happens to make babies people?!

*Class* Looks to desk.

*Teacher* Ok, Ok what the first thing we need.

*Student down back* Alcohol.

Class and Teacher crack up..bloody brilliant!!

Overheard by Ginge!!, School

===========================================================

Thomasjo

Taste the value

Was in Dunnes in Tallaght when I seen a lady and her 20
something daughter shopping.

Daughter: "Ma look at these trifles!"

Ma: "Nah, got them last week and they are disgusting, no taste
off them at all."

Daughter: "But their half price?"

Ma: "Well give us two there so."

Overheard by Traykool, Dunnes, Tallaght

==============================================================
Don't mess with the bus pass holders

On Dublin bus, at bus stop a little old lady gets on to enquire
when her next bus will be arriving:

Old lady to driver: "Will the next bus be long?"

Smartass Driver: "About the same length as this one luv"

Old Lady(without a moments hesitiation): "Really? And will it be
driven by a little bollicks like you?"


Overheard by Maeve, Dublin bus

===============================================================
Nothing But Time

Was at a petrol station last night at around 12 with my mate. We
were sitting in the car, when this women comes up and asks "Do
you know if there is a shop open this late where I could buy a
childs bottle?" and I reply "Yes, there is a 24 hour Tesco up
the road there." Then she asks "Would it be open now?".

Overheard by Sean, Drogheda


==========================================================
How to empty a LUAS

On the Luas coming out of town one afternoon during the week. As
we got to Blackhorse the driver made an announcement

"Ladies & Gents there are 2 plain clothes ticket inspectors
getting on at this stop so could you please have your tickets at
hand for convenience thank you."

When we pulled up to the stop 2 people did get on and about 50
got off and stood on the platform, clearly waiting on the next
Luas.

When we pulled away the driver got back on the intercom,
laughing and said

"I was only joking, there's no such thing as a plain clothes
ticket inspector, I just wanted to see how many people got on
without paying!!"

Overheard by Lynn, On the Luas