Do people look down on you when your in your 30's and don't own a house?

iguana2005

Am just back from travelling and all my friends were lucky to settle down in the early 20's..am the only single one in my group who doesnt own a house and rents...am 36 this year...

Someone recently mentioned to me that im too old to have a mortage now..and im freaked out...i have to rent(parents are alcoholics so no home)...dont have family that I can live with temporarily to save..

I work hard(9-5) and have before taken on cleaning jobs to save a little extra. However my work(office/marketing) will never see me earning the big bobs...

I dont particularly want to purcase in ireland being honest...i would love the security when im older but thats about it...are there many people in their 30/40/50 renting still here?

When people say to me rent is dead money it makes me so angry - i dont have a choice...

Best I leave for downunder where people dont judge you on your status as house owner or permanent employee!! And the sun shines!!

di2772

Not everyone has to buy a house.
It depends on your personal circumstances whether you want, need or can even afford to buy a house.

Nobody should look down on anyone who doesnt own their own house.
If you are young, free and single you dont really need one at all anyway, so why tie yourself down.

Banjoseph

Hi,

I'm 39 and I've never bought a house. Going to buy one next year as we've just had a baby, otherwise I wouldn't be bothered.
I've been able to live for years in lovely houses in Deansgrange/Stillorgan that I would never have been able to buy. If I'd bought I'd be out in Lucan or somewhere, and not happy at all !
I know plenty of people who bought because they thought they had to, and now they very much regret it.

iguana2005

Thats good to hear...maybe its just small town Cork and its mentality....think also because all my friends are couples/married and own and im the only single among 5 to 6 couples

silverharp

iguana2005 wrote: »

Thats good to hear...maybe its just small town Cork and its mentality....think also because all my friends are couples/married and own and im the only single among 5 to 6 couples

I'd say over the next few years they will be telling you that you are a lucky git! or if they still are just ask them how much negetive equity they have:D

di2772

silverharp wrote: »

I'd say over the next few years they will be telling you that you are a lucky git! or if they still are just ask them how much negetive equity they have:D

Oh my, Another person who thinks everyone is in negative equity without even knowing the people hes talking about.

RealEstateKing

I own nothing at all and have no debts at 32. Given the current economic situation the absolute worst that could happen to me is I lose my job and have to go on the dole.

I have friends that bought houses for 400,000 in the boom years, and even then we knew they we're ****ed: We're talking houses in depressing, ugly places like Kimmage that are former council houses, there is no way, now that the country is returning to a real economy, that those houses are gonna be worth any more than about 150 grand once things hit bottom.

Rent is not dead money: The only advantage in owning a house as opposed to renting it, is that when you die you can give it to your kids. Rents may go up, and rents may go down, but rents will never put you in a situation where you owe the bank 250,000 quid off the price of a house that isnt worth anywhere near what it once was. Plus when you're renting, you can usually afford to rent somehwhere a bit nicer, rather than being stuck in some Jerry-Built Alan-Partridgesque North Dublin ****box.

blinding

I used to own a house I used to own it once ! !

silverharp

di2772 wrote: »

Oh my, Another person who thinks everyone is in negative equity without even knowing the people hes talking about.

its a generic point, but the OP is in a better position then many in his age bracket , he has nothing to be ashamed obout.

Sarn

iguana2005 wrote: »

Someone recently mentioned to me that im too old to have a mortage now..

Don't mind them. You're too old for a 35 year mortgage but could get up to 29 years if you had to. With prices coming down you'll be able to get a shorter term.

di2772

silverharp wrote: »

its a generic point, but the OP is in a better position then many in his age bracket , he has nothing to be ashamed obout.

I never said he had anything to be ashamed about (see my first post).
I believe there is a time in your life when you are better off renting (when you only need an apartment or a room) and also a time when you are better off owning (family, schools etc)
I just dont understand why people assume anyone with a house is in negative equity.
A guy i worked with was asking about where i lived the other night and he asked did i own the house i live in.
When i told him yes i did he just said "Oh, it must be hard being in negative equity, but dont worry, im sure that you'll get out of it in time". What a tit. I owe zero on my house.

harsea8

iguana2005 wrote: »

Am just back from travelling and all my friends were lucky to settle down in the early 20's..am the only single one in my group who doesnt own a house and rents...am 36 this year...

Someone recently mentioned to me that im too old to have a mortage now..and im freaked out...i have to rent(parents are alcoholics so no home)...dont have family that I can live with temporarily to save..

I work hard(9-5) and have before taken on cleaning jobs to save a little extra. However my work(office/marketing) will never see me earning the big bobs...

I dont particularly want to purcase in ireland being honest...i would love the security when im older but thats about it...are there many people in their 30/40/50 renting still here?

When people say to me rent is dead money it makes me so angry - i dont have a choice...

Best I leave for downunder where people dont judge you on your status as house owner or permanent employee!! And the sun shines!!

Firstly, I wouldn't consider any of your friends who settled down in their early 20s as lucky. IMO, your 20s is a time for having fun, not settling down. Anyway, back to topic, if anyone is looking down on you due to anything you own, be it a house, a car, etc... then they are not worth your time. Real friends wouldn't give a t*ss whether you own a house or rent. As for whether you are too late to own a house, remember it isn't the be all and end all of life and (as many previous posters have pointed out) many people in your age bracket would gladly swap places with you at the moment!

uriah

iguana2005 wrote: »

Am just back from travelling and all my friends were lucky to settle down in the early 20's..am the only single one in my group who doesnt own a house and rents...am 36 this year...

Someone recently mentioned to me that im too old to have a mortage now..and im freaked out...i have to rent(parents are alcoholics so no home)...dont have family that I can live with temporarily to save..

I work hard(9-5) and have before taken on cleaning jobs to save a little extra. However my work(office/marketing) will never see me earning the big bobs...

I dont particularly want to purcase in ireland being honest...i would love the security when im older but thats about it...are there many people in their 30/40/50 renting still here?

When people say to me rent is dead money it makes me so angry - i dont have a choice...

Best I leave for downunder where people dont judge you on your status as house owner or permanent employee!! And the sun shines!!

Four years ago the answer would have been yes. Actually, you would be expected to have at least two houses at your age.

These days, the emotions people of your age feel when they hear your story are jealousy, envy and rage.

Next time someone makes a negative comment, tell them you have a little money saved and are willing to make them an offer for their pile of negative equity. Tell them you are glad you didn't buy at the height of the bubble and that you might wait for things to 'bottom out;

Then run before they get a chance to react.

iguana2005

harsea8 wrote: »

Firstly, I wouldn't consider any of your friends who settled down in their early 20s as lucky. IMO, your 20s is a time for having fun, not settling down. Anyway, back to topic, if anyone is looking down on you due to anything you own, be it a house, a car, etc... then they are not worth your time. Real friends wouldn't give a t*ss whether you own a house or rent. As for whether you are too late to own a house, remember it isn't the be all and end all of life and (as many previous posters have pointed out) many people in your age bracket would gladly swap places with you at the moment!

I envy people who met a partner, purchased a house, had kids..yes this is a hard time but it is passing...think i will be the one to loose out in the longrun? I wish I could afford t purchase a house or have a job that gve me permanancy but I dont and havent for the last 5 years...

silverharp

di2772 wrote: »

I never said he had anything to be ashamed about (see my first post).
I believe there is a time in your life when you are better off renting (when you only need an apartment or a room) and also a time when you are better off owning (family, schools etc)
I just dont understand why people assume anyone with a house is in negative equity.
A guy i worked with was asking about where i lived the other night and he asked did i own the house i live in.
When i told him yes i did he just said "Oh, it must be hard being in negative equity, but dont worry, im sure that you'll get out of it in time". What a tit. I owe zero on my house.

Same here paid off the mortgage in 03 while in my 30's. But it makes no sense to buy an asset that is falling in price with debt. At the same time some people out there have been borrowing against there houses for consumption or for business

Firetrap

I kind of know where you're coming from. I'm your age and only in the last few years have I started earning the sort of wages that would enable me to buy a house. Before that, I was excluded from the market because of the madness that was the bubble. Unless of course I told lies about my earnings, borrowed the deposit from the credit union and had to take in lodgers in order to pay my mortgage.

Now I am very very thankful I didn't take the jump. Instead of my wages going up, my take-home has dropped back to 2005 levels and who's to say it won't get another haircut. Mortgage interest relief has been cut back to 7 years and again, who's to say the gubberment won't give it another snip? Tellingly, the people who used to be saying to me that I should buy before it's too late are no longer giving me that advice. That's not to say that I don't wish I had my own place but for much of the time circumstances were out of my control.

Shepherd3

uriah wrote: »

Four years ago the answer would have been yes. Actually, you would be expected to have at least two houses at your age.

These days, the emotions people of your age feel when they hear your story are jealousy, envy and rage.

Next time someone makes a negative comment, tell them you have a little money saved and are willing to make them an offer for their pile of negative equity. Tell them you are glad you didn't buy at the height of the bubble and that you might wait for things to 'bottom out;

Then run before they get a chance to react.

No it wouldn't, 4 years ago was a crazy time.

PCPhoto

iguana2005 wrote: »

Thats good to hear...maybe its just small town Cork and its mentality....think also because all my friends are couples/married and own and im the only single among 5 to 6 couples

<<< am from Cork

- was the only actual single person on a Stag weekend recently (didnt feel bad/awkward)
- dont own a house (turned 30 this year)
- have seen two family members younger than me get married (one even has two kids now)
- just back from two weddings (two of my friends got married and one of my younger sisters got married - she's 5yrs younger than me)

actually - now that I think of it..... I dont have many single friends.... doesnt bother me - my friends will still make time to go out for a night here and there.....some of them have houses - some dont.

I was told about 5yrs ago to go and buy a place - my reply was always ... I cant afford it, the prices were 300K for 1bed apartment.... no way !!! (wasnt willing to get myself into debt like that)

AARRRGH

Shepherd3 wrote: »

No it wouldn't, 4 years ago was a crazy time.

I think that's what he means.

iguana2005

PCPhoto wrote: »

<<< am from Cork

- was the only actual single person on a Stag weekend recently (didnt feel bad/awkward)
- dont own a house (turned 30 this year)
- have seen two family members younger than me get married (one even has two kids now)
- just back from two weddings (two of my friends got married and one of my younger sisters got married - she's 5yrs younger than me)

Im a girl so think we feel the pressure more? Plus ive a few years over you - at your age I was travelling around Australia! Now ALL my friends are married/relationships..i dont have one single friend!...All my married friends meet regularly as they have kids who go to school together and they all live near their parents as their lives are perfect(barf). I used to socialise with them in my early 30's now its just damn boring...also I would love kids and feel sad when I leave them

ronbyrne2005

iguana2005 wrote: »

PCPhoto wrote: »

<<< am from Cork

- was the only actual single person on a Stag weekend recently (didnt feel bad/awkward)
- dont own a house (turned 30 this year)
- have seen two family members younger than me get married (one even has two kids now)
- just back from two weddings (two of my friends got married and one of my younger sisters got married - she's 5yrs younger than me)

Im a girl so think we feel the pressure more? Plus ive a few years over you - at your age I was travelling around Australia! Now ALL my friends are married/relationships..i dont have one single friend!...All my married friends meet regularly as they have kids who go to school together and they all live near their parents as their lives are perfect(barf). I used to socialise with them in my early 30's now its just damn boring...also I would love kids and feel sad when I leave them

Find a rich fella or get pregnant and have the social welfare look after ya and give ya a house. You'd make more on dole with a kid than what your earning now, I know, the country's gone mad.
Remember when you do settle down you'll be buying with another person so more income between ya but one would have to stay at home to mind kid/kids or pay massive amounts for childcare.

Heckler

36 years old and about to get married next year. Have no desire whatsoever to own my own house. I'll happily rent for the rest of my life. Owning your own house is a very irish and somewhat english thing. Fair play to those that do, many of my friends are married with kids and own their own places and seem happy as larry. I have no desire for a 400K millstone round my neck for 35 years. And for what in the end of the day ? So you can make sure you're kids are sorted ? Sure they'll only sell it and fight over it when you're gone anyway. We need more rental laws here ala Germany and France but for me the idea of buying a place is beyond sense.

*awaits backlash from houseowners

martyboy48

Heckler wrote: »

36 years old and about to get married next year. Have no desire whatsoever to own my own house. I'll happily rent for the rest of my life. Owning your own house is a very irish and somewhat english thing. Fair play to those that do, many of my friends are married with kids and own their own places and seem happy as larry. I have no desire for a 400K millstone round my neck for 35 years. And for what in the end of the day ? So you can make sure you're kids are sorted ? Sure they'll only sell it and fight over it when you're gone anyway. We need more rental laws here ala Germany and France but for me the idea of buying a place is beyond sense.

*awaits backlash from houseowners

Agreed and agreed....

ixoy

There's still a "rent is dead money" mentality persisting, despite the collapse of the housing market and I think people do look down on those of us now in their 30s without a property to their name.

Here's how it is for me - I'd like to own a piece of property but - wait for it - I'd like to own a piece of property that I'd like to own. I reject the notion of a "starter home", a "first rung" mentality. When I buy, it's with the prospect of staying there for a long time. So I'm prepared to wait until what I get for my money is what I want and if it takes me a few years so be it - I'm going to be better off than where fools rushed in.

Tech3

Heckler wrote: »

36 years old and about to get married next year. Have no desire whatsoever to own my own house. I'll happily rent for the rest of my life. Owning your own house is a very irish and somewhat english thing. Fair play to those that do, many of my friends are married with kids and own their own places and seem happy as larry. I have no desire for a 400K millstone round my neck for 35 years. And for what in the end of the day ? So you can make sure you're kids are sorted ? Sure they'll only sell it and fight over it when you're gone anyway. We need more rental laws here ala Germany and France but for me the idea of buying a place is beyond sense.

*awaits backlash from houseowners

Having a mortgage is not owning your home. The bank owns it.

Kipperhell

Heckler wrote: »

36 years old and about to get married next year. Have no desire whatsoever to own my own house. I'll happily rent for the rest of my life. Owning your own house is a very irish and somewhat english thing. Fair play to those that do, many of my friends are married with kids and own their own places and seem happy as larry. I have no desire for a 400K millstone round my neck for 35 years. And for what in the end of the day ? So you can make sure you're kids are sorted ? Sure they'll only sell it and fight over it when you're gone anyway. We need more rental laws here ala Germany and France but for me the idea of buying a place is beyond sense.

*awaits backlash from houseowners

You should check out the rent is "dead money" discussion. The bits you have mentioned are all covered.

Essentially when you retire how are you going to afford the rent?
You don't have a 400k debit around your neck for 35 years as you are paying it off.
Rental laws in Germany and France work there because of the history of their property market.
There is no back lash for your comments some people will just assume you are ill informed. What people did generally say is that people who want to rent for the rest of their lives in Ireland didn't really exist but you seem to be here. I don't think anybody in this country believes it is a good idea to rent for your entire life here.

OP

Yes some people will look down on you for not owning but many will see it was not a good idea to buy for everyone. If I was single and I met somebody in their 40s who didn't own property I probably wouldn't pursue a relationship. It is easier to start a relationship when you equally have nothing you struggled on your own to get. You will live a very harsh life renting as an OAP. If you qualify for state rental allowance or property you will be poor and if you don't qualify you will be spending your retirement money on rent.

the_syco

blinding wrote: »

I used to own a house I used to own it once ! !

...a long long time ago... ooooo....

ronbyrne2005 wrote: »

Remember when you do settle down you'll be buying with another person so more income between ya but one would have to stay at home to mind kid/kids or pay massive amounts for childcare.

I know one or two in this situation, which I find mad, as when one person stays at home to mind the kid, less money is left after paying for their mortgage.

Kipperhell wrote: »

If I was single and I met somebody in their 40s who didn't own property I probably wouldn't pursue a relationship.

Sounds like a gold-digger mentality :P

=-=

Living with the parents myself. Have a mate who's thinking of buying a house in Mullingar, and who thinks rent is "dead money". We both live with our parents, and work in Lexlip. Having rented in the past, I'll probably rent again in the future. Don't see the point of tying myself to one area unless I have kids, as renting doesn't restrict my job search to one area.

iguana2005

Kipperhell wrote: »

OP

If I was single and I met somebody in their 40s who didn't own property I probably wouldn't pursue a relationship.

Thats disgusting - what the f**K does owning a property got to do with a relationship...from my experince its usually the man anyhow who first gets on the property ladder(better paid/mammy & daddy's darling) and the girl would move in paying rent..them eventualy sell it and purchase a family home - thats what happend with my 3 mates...

Thats sick mate - you dont deserve anyone with that mentality...

ionapaul

I am 33 and the majority of my mates own property - doesn't bother me that I don't. I am quite financial astute (if I say so myself!) and believed we were in a bubble for most of the time I could afford to buy so never did, simply continued to save and invest what I could. I'm actually able to afford quite a few properties in Dublin now by taking on a modest mortgage, but since they are areas that are unsuitable I continue to rent and bide my time; don't see myself buying for a number of years yet.

oceanclub

Kipperhell wrote: »

If I was single and I met somebody in their 40s who didn't own property I probably wouldn't pursue a relationship.

That's hilarious. So, you'd prefer someone now in negative equity (that is, in debt?) over people I know who rented during the bubble and now have 6-figure sums in the bank and are awaiting the time to buy a house either outright or mostly mortgage-free?

People in their 40s probably don't "own" property. Their bank owns property, and they have a mortgage. There's a difference.

Needless to say, I'm sure such men are quite happy not to have gold-diggers making snap judgement on them; glad I married such a sensible woman myself.

P.

Kipperhell

iguana2005 wrote: »

Thats disgusting - what the f**K does owning a property got to do with a relationship...from my experince its usually the man anyhow who first gets on the property ladder(better paid/mammy & daddy's darling) and the girl would move in paying rent..them eventualy sell it and purchase a family home - thats what happend with my 3 mates...

Thats sick mate - you dont deserve anyone with that mentality...

Some people like to look at reality while others like to have lovely ideas of how the world should be. It is a lot harder for older people to meet and when looking for a relationship at that point in time means you look at the whole package. I am talking about in your 40s+. Very different from earlier on in life. Going into a relationship later in life has a lot more strings to it.

Simply somebody who has been messing around till they get to their 40s will have no interest to me or many others either. Lots of people at that point in life will not take on extra baggage. I wouldn't take on somebody else's kids either. Nice to see you can make a judgement on my whole being based on a differing view to yours:rolleyes:

The majority of single purchases were apparently female.

When you buy a house with a mortgage you do own the property not the bank no matter what people like to say.

It is not about wanting the other person's property just about coming to a relationship with a level of equality.

You can have all your romantic views of love but reality doesn't disappear.