Do people look down on you when your in your 30's and don't own a house?

Heckler

Duckjob wrote: »

If I discovered I had been dumped or rejected on account of not owning a property I would consider myself to have dodged a bullet TBH.

+1

Like I said. 36, getting married next year, renting a place till she moves back down in a few months (were living together till she moved away for a year for work) and then we'll find a place together. Not a penny in the bank between us. And guess what ? Happy as a pig in the proverbial. This irish property obsession drives me nuts. You could be hit by a bus in the morning. The idea of not being interested in someone who doesn't own their own house in their 30's or 40's is so beyond me as to be alien. Literally from another planet. Rampant materialism is what ****ed up this country in the first place. I'd live in a matchbox with my girl and be happy.

gurramok

Kipperhell wrote: »

What's your plan for when you are on a pension?

While your parents situation might be unusual how much better do you think it would have been if they were renting?

Try Senior Citizen gated complexes run by the Councils. The places are like royalty for just 33quid a week with heating paid for.

iguana2005

Kipperhell wrote: »

People will judge you on your actions. I started with nothing and together with my wife we achieved some of our goals. I take that as building my character and somebody who hasn't done similar will probably not appreciate the work involved. I wouldn't give my hard earned progress away to somebody who just messed about. There are lots of people who feel the same.

yeah you are giving me a headache too...you spend too much time on this I worked as hard as you most probablly but ill health and being single(one income) stopped me reaching material goals....count yourself lucky and stop gloating...you never know when it will end

argosy2006

they'll only look down on you if ur shorter than them,

Duckjob

Kipperhell wrote: »

People will judge you on your actions. I started with nothing and together with my wife we achieved some of our goals. I take that as building my character and somebody who hasn't done similar will probably not appreciate the work involved. I wouldn't give my hard earned progress away to somebody who just messed about. There are lots of people who feel the same.

You know, I do get the whole idea of people with goals and ambitions wanting to seek out like-minded people.

I just think it quite funny that so many Irish people can't see past a pile of bricks when evaluating the ambition of others.

the_syco

Duckjob wrote: »

If I discovered I had been dumped or rejected on account of not owning a property I would consider myself to have dodged a bullet TBH.

Likewise.

=-=

I think kipper picked the wrong item to talk about. In a way I know what he means: if you meet someone aged 40 you want to ensure they're on the same wavelength as you, regarding either on course to buy somewhere, or to already have a house. It's a goal scenario. But other posters must not get so hung up on the house. It's not a thing, as such, but an objective.

It's like having education as a goal. You may want to meet someone who was bettering themselves, as opposed to someone who never bothered to learn anything since they left school. Like the lack of a house, some people wouldn't mind settling down with someone who had no drive to improve themselves, but some people would want that attribute.

The house is but an example, I think.

Duckjob

the_syco wrote: »

It's like having education as a goal. You may want to meet someone who was bettering themselves, as opposed to someone who never bothered to learn anything since they left school. Like the lack of a house, some people wouldn't mind settling down with someone who had no drive to improve themselves, but some people would want that attribute.

The house is but an example, I think.

Having a house isn't the "attribute" though. It's seen by many Irish as "evidence" of ambition and having made something with your life, but this in itself is a fallacy. I know wasters who have inherited or been given a house by their parents - they're still wasters.

Kipperhell

gurramok wrote: »

Try Senior Citizen gated complexes run by the Councils. The places are like royalty for just 33quid a week with heating paid for.

Well as I volunteered for a few years in one of them I know what they are actually like. The places are certainly not like royalty and there are also a limited number of them. If you would be happy living off the state in this way it indicates a fundamental oppositional view, I find that parasitic.

I do think the state should look after people in need but if somebody plans on getting the state to look after them for their future I find that disgusting. To plan to live off anybody's good will is pretty low. Such housing is a safety net for people who hit hard times not for those who squandered their opportunities by choice.

Some of the new one look a lot better but I can't see massive improvements on the existing one. There are going to be a lot of people working past the retirement age just to survive.

gurramok

Such complexes are for the elderly who have low income after retirement, not just people on 'hard times'. They are replacing all the old complexes with new ones.

My own mother is in one, built in the last 10 years. Hope you are not calling her a parasite. :mad:

Kipperhell

gurramok wrote: »

Such complexes are for the elderly who have low income after retirement, not just people on 'hard times'. They are replacing all the old complexes with new ones.

My own mother is in one, built in the last 10 years. Hope you are not calling her a parasite. :mad:

If her plan was to use the state as housing while making no plans for her future then yes I am.

If your plan is to have a low income to have the state need to take care of you I am saying that is parasitic. I would consider a low income to be hard times. Such housing is for those with a need not as a lifestyle choice.

It doesn't sound like your great plan of always renting and then waiting for the state to take care of you is a good one. You will need to be on a pretty low income to qualify by your own admission.

niallo27

Duckjob wrote: »

You know, I do get the whole idea of people with goals and ambitions wanting to seek out like-minded people.

I just think it quite funny that so many Irish people can't see past a pile of bricks when evaluating the ambition of others.

I don't know why people think this, i mean none of the people i know and in my generation care about whether people own a house or not, the older generation might but a lot of them are old fashioned

ionapaul

After all the back and forth, it seems we have an answer to the OPs question:

Do people look down on you when your in your 30's and don't own a house?

Some people do and most of these probably equate your lack of property with a lack of ambition / forward planning and this is the real reason their regard for you is lower; obviously they are entitled to think this way if they wish!

Some people don't care.

Kipperhell

niallo27 wrote: »

I don't know why people think this, i mean none of the people i know and in my generation care about whether people own a house or not, the older generation might but a lot of them are old fashioned

When you are younger it doesn't matter. When you get older it does, it isn't a generational thing but an age thing. It is like telling a young boy that he will care more about girls than sweets, he won't believe you but when he gets older he will be more bothered about girls. (No need for clever banter about maybe he will be gay:P) Nobody stops growing up but people do it at different rates

iguana2005

ionapaul wrote: »

After all the back and forth, it seems we have an answer to the OPs question:

Do people look down on you when your in your 30's and don't own a house?

Some people do and most of these probably equate your lack of property with a lack of ambition / forward planning and this is the real reason their regard for you is lower; obviously they are entitled to think this way if they wish!

Some people don't care.

Nicely put...however after lengthy thoughts and discussions have reliazed that Ireland and its mentality is not the country for me...decided to head back down under next year...hope I dont come across as 'lacking ambition' but I do fancy myself when older living in a warm climate...the OAP's downunder have a good life and are a lot more social orientated...some job offers have come in already...

jmayo

Kipperhell wrote: »

So to answer the OPs question you have personally met somebody who judges people on their progress through life? I don't see why people think it is so funny that I personally would judge anybody by their current progress. It really doesn't sound like many of you have reached 30 yet so probably don't really know how things change.

Yes I have met peope who look down on you because you haven't got a house.
Also find these people also tend to be the same people who turn their nose up because you drive a 7 year old Japanese car, rather than say a newish BMW.
Of course I tend to buy my cars for cash, and thus I own them rather than getting a loan to buy a depreciating asset that looses money the moment it leaves the forecourt.
BTW I am sadly a bit older than 30

I do agree people do look for someone that is liked minded and I would say honestly most people would look for someone that isn't a waster or a comlete leech.
But not having property doesn't necessarily mean you are one of the above.

I think the way you initially made your point is what has got most peoples goat around here.

Kipperhell wrote: »

...
I wouldn't give my hard earned progress away to somebody who just messed about. There are lots of people who feel the same.

Then I guess you are anti NAMA, because that is where your hard earned taxes are destined to go, to a bunch of wasters who messed up BIG TIME.

Hrududu

Just do what's right for you. Some people really want to own their own property. Others don't feel the need to. As long as you are happy with your decision then it doesn't matter what other people think.

Calina

jmayo wrote: »

...
Then I guess you are anti NAMA, because that is where your hard earned taxes are destined to go, to a bunch of wasters who messed up BIG TIME.

But who were, all the same, considered to be the movers and shakers in this country and because they have houses and comparatively decent salaries - I'm talking about some of the senior banking people for example - will not be disparaged as much as people who decided to have lives instead of mortgages.

I must confess that it may be because I don't take a blind bit of notice of people who judge others on material items or I hang around with the wrong sort but still...judging people on their material success is a rather shallow way of doing things. A lot of people have houses, mortgages and commuting hell. Do I want to be them? No. Should I want to be them? Well some of Kipperhell's posts would suggest that I lack ambition for not aspiring to it.

But frankly, given a choice between the lives some of my homeowning/children having acquaintances and my life I would choose mine every single time. Not because you could be dead tomorrow which is one reason that was voiced but because when the time comes for me to shuffle off be it tomorrow or in 50 years time I want to have a lot of life to flash before my eyes and that's what I am aiming for.

In a way, our generation has been lucky. We have had huge opportunities compared to the generation before us. We shook off the shackles of the Catholic Church but we didn't shake of the shackles of needing to judge people obviously. I think that's a pity.

After that, OP, my experience is that some of that judgementalism can be linked to envy. I have friends who have ignored advice on my part to wait before buying and who now tell me that had they listened, they would not have seen 100KE fall off the value of their starter apartment. 35% value loss in 3 years in an apartment out of which they would have to move if they have a family. That's a lot of money. I have friends who tell me I am lucky that I can move and am fairly free given the current economic situation. Comparatively, they are well off having bought 10 years ago and still not been wiped out. But their options are slightly limited compared to me.

These people, they don't envy me because they know and I know why they made the decisions that they made and that I made. I will say this though. A lot of other people that I know looked down on me for refusing to buy into the property trade here for oh, most of the last 8 years. Until 12 months ago and now they are sheepishly saying to me "you were right then not to buy."

In the meantime, I've rent shared which can be hard. I've spent 15000E on one hobby and 6000E on another hobby. Would I be happier with 21KE in the bank?

No. Anyone who's seem what happens when I am without a camera for any length of time will tell you that it's not pretty.

We have different lives and different criteria by which we judge them. No one I know judges their friends by economic success. Those people I've met who do tend not to be the happiest.

I know the value of happiness. It's worth more than the most expensive house in the country.

Would I buy a house? Well if I saw one at a price that matched what I was willing to spend and in a location I was willing to live, then yes. But there hasn't been any such thing in this country since I moved here in 1999.

Irishcrx

I'm 22 and I own my own house , but I don't and never saw it as the be all and end all, I'm in a relationship but not married, don't particulary want kids , I did it because I fell into a good situation and it made financial sence for me aka only half a mortgage and I rent out rooms that pays that off, lets me save up money and have nice holidays etc. Then maybe one day i'll sell it on and have fun with the money and go back to renting like I did before...maybe i won't depends what I'm doing...but it certainly isn't the be all and end all it's just personal circumstances and choice.

Tech3

Irishcrx wrote: »

I'm 22 and I own my own house , but I don't and never saw it as the be all and end all, I'm in a relationship but not married, don't particulary want kids , I did it because I fell into a good situation and it made financial sence for me aka only half a mortgage and I rent out rooms that pays that off, lets me save up money and have nice holidays etc. Then maybe one day i'll sell it on and have fun with the money and go back to renting like I did before...maybe i won't depends what I'm doing...but it certainly isn't the be all and end all it's just personal circumstances and choice.

In the next few years it will be half what it's worth now. How do you own your home as you have a mortgage? The banks owns it. You wont be guaranteed to sell it as there is so many empties and that will go up every month.

Kipperhell

Calina wrote: »

But frankly, given a choice between the lives some of my homeowning/children having acquaintances and my life I would choose mine every single time.

Your whole post is you standing in judgement of other peoples' choices. If you actually read what I posted you would see what I am judging people on and that I would in a certain situation not entertain a relationship with somebody. I think people are free to make as many bad choices as they like but I certainly think they were foolish as you seem to be doing.

For it to be a choice you really should be aware of the possible outcomes. I have quite a few friends who have nothing yet the same income as me over the years. Great friends but I know and they know they are rejected for their lack of planning which is certainly combined with their general immaturity. Both male and females friends also complain of the complete wasters they meet in their 30s. If all you own by that age is equivalent to what a teenager would buy if they had a little bit of money you need to grow up.

I don't go around pointing and condemning people I compare their lives to mine as most people do.

Irishcrx

tech2 wrote: »

In the next few years it will be half what it's worth now. How do you own your home as you have a mortgage? The banks owns it. You wont be guaranteed to sell it as there is so many empties and that will go up every month.

Becuase I bought half of it outright rather than squandering the money, so the bank owns less than half, and I own the rest. At 22 that aint too bad. And if I plan to live there for a while after everything bottoms out I think i'll come out the other end fine.

ionapaul

Kipperhell wrote: »

Both male and females friends also complain of the complete wasters they meet in their 30s. If all you own by that age is equivalent to what a teenager would buy if they had a little bit of money you need to grow up.

The only problem is that it can be very, very difficult to tell what someone's financial status is by outward appearances! The high-flying salesman in the new BMW might have a negative net worth; the librarian driving a 99 Micra might be worth half a million. Ever read The Millionaire Next Door?

Kipperhell

ionapaul wrote: »

The only problem is that it can be very, very difficult to tell what someone's financial status is by outward appearances! The high-flying salesman in the new BMW might have a negative net worth; the librarian driving a 99 Micra might be worth half a million. Ever read The Millionaire Next Door?

Never said I judge somebody by outward appearances to know their net worth!!! Again assuming things I haven't said. In case you were wondering when I was talking about "relationship" I always meant a romantic one and not friendship.

We actually have a 10 year old Micra between us and I see cars as one of the biggest wastes of money around. I am full aware many people have huge finance payments for cars and can be heavily in debt. I would equally avoid somebody who was in debit through bad financial planning. It is precisely the inability to have some control on your life that I would be avoiding. It just screams of not taking responsibility for ones own actions.

I have been looked down on because of my appearance more than once.

Calina

Kipperhell wrote: »

We actually have a 10 year old Micra between us and I see cars as one of the biggest wastes of money around.

Yes, but if someone loves their car and gets a great deal of pleasure out of it, as a lot of young people that I saw on Sunday in Kildare do, is it really for you to judge it a waste of money? I would say no. People set different priorities and I do not get the impression that you understand that.

For me, the greatest lack of self control that I see in this country does not necessarily relate to financial decisions although they are worryingly prevalent in the last few years because of attitudes that suggest you have to conform to majority thinking on - say - owning a house - but to alcohol consumption.

In my experience, that has been a greater indicator of lack of self control than ownership or lack of ownership of a house, or desire to spend a lot of time making creative works or doing some sport.

Kipperhell

Calina wrote: »

Yes, but if someone loves their car and gets a great deal of pleasure out of it, as a lot of young people that I saw on Sunday in Kildare do, is it really for you to judge it a waste of money? I would say no. People set different priorities and I do not get the impression that you understand that.

I certainly can make a judgement just as you did! I understand people have different priorities and I also understand that some are out right selfish and foolish. You have stated no less earlier. Different priorities do not exempt anybody from their actions and what is wise. Life is more than pleasure

Calina wrote: »

For me, the greatest lack of self control that I see in this country does not necessarily relate to financial decisions although they are worryingly prevalent in the last few years because of attitudes that suggest you have to conform to majority thinking on - say - owning a house - but to alcohol consumption.

I am not by any means a conformist. Making plans for the future is a sensible attitude to have no matter your hobbies, life style or desires in general. There you go again judging people on their behaviour and in the same post saying I have no right.

Calina wrote: »

In my experience, that has been a greater indicator of lack of self control than ownership or lack of ownership of a house, or desire to spend a lot of time making creative works or doing some sport.

If I could figure out this sentence I am sure I could respond but it simply doesn't make sense.

Feel free to live a carefree life but if somebody else judges that as reckless you can't really complain because it is by it's very nature reckless. The fact some people will then have to be aided by tax payers for their choices is certainly

di2772

Kipperhell wrote: »

Never said I judge somebody by outward appearances to know their net worth!!! Again assuming things I haven't said. In case you were wondering when I was talking about "relationship" I always meant a romantic one and not friendship.

We actually have a 10 year old Micra between us and I see cars as one of the biggest wastes of money around. I am full aware many people have huge finance payments for cars and can be heavily in debt. I would equally avoid somebody who was in debit through bad financial planning. It is precisely the inability to have some control on your life that I would be avoiding. It just screams of not taking responsibility for ones own actions.

I have been looked down on because of my appearance more than once.

If i was you i would stop trying to justify what you said.
Everyone knows what you meant. Some people are just twisting it around for an argument. Dont rise to them.