Time between pregnancies

Vel

I'm just looking for people's experiences.

Our son is 6 months old now and we are beginning to talk about when would be the right time to start trying for another baby. We have always wanted to have our children close in age and 'get it all out of the way' so to speak and I have been feeling quite broody lately :eek:

On the one hand I think it would be great for our son to have a sibling so close in age but on the other I know we will never get the opportunity to spend such quality time with him as we can now before we have another baby so I wonder should I wait a little bit longer to give him the best possible time with us.

Also, I'm certainly not back to my pre-pregnancy weight yet, which is where I would like to be so I wonder should I wait until I have gotten there (I'm going back to work next month and planning to cycle like I used to). I found pregnancy very hard on my body so I think it might be best to be in better shape and fit before I go for it again.

I also suffered terrible morning sickness so wonder what affect that might have on my ability to look after our son. Would it be easier while he is younger and not toddling around?

Khannie

I wanted to do like you're suggesting (get them all out rapid fire ) but my mrs said she didn't want to have 2 in nappies at the same time. Personally I think we left it a /little/ bit too long between babies (our youngest will be 3 almost on the day the new one arrives).

I did like you and asked around how parents found various gaps. Each gap length has its pros and cons. If you're feeling broody and you have a 6 month old then I'd say fair play to ye. I only felt tired.

Nevyn

It take about two year for you pelvis/back to sort it's self out after giving birth,
so give you body a chance to recover. I do think that a 2/3 year gap is best, there's
2 years 4 months between mine and I tbh looking back having 3 years would have been better in terms of managing two of them.

TargetWidow

The gap depends on lots of stuff... how old you are, how quickly your body has recovered, whether you feel ready emotionally, financially and in terms of your relationship with your other half. I was 36 when I had my little one in April of 08. At my 6 week check up at the consultant's office I was askin when I could go again:D She said that at my age 20 months between deliveries is the minimum gap (I had Symphsis Pubis Dysfunction in the last 4 months of the pregnancy and she wanted it completely healed up before I considered trying even if that meant waiting beyond 20mths between deliveries.). DD is 17 mths old today and we've been trying for 2mths now. I regret not starting trying sooner TBH.

IsThatSo?

I have a 16 month gap between my last two children (yes, it was planned!!) and I had major morning sickness for the entire 9 months on my last pregnancy and I managed. I just went, got sick and then had my breakfast, I was good by 11 or thereabouts lol (apologies to the squeamish ) A few days I just had to lie down on the couch for a few hours at a time and would leave soft toys in the general direction of the baby and watch him play.


Thing is, you cope when you have to and thats just the way of it There is always a reason NOT to do it like waiting for one milestone or another with the older child, and the time just goes by. It does come down to personal preference though, so each person has to make the decision for themselves.

My youngest two are now 23 months and 7months. I find I don't get out much, its just too much hassle for right now with differing nap times etc (and a school run thrown in the mix) but I love watching the pair of them together, they are totally besotted with each other. He (23months) drools all over her head in what is supposedly a kiss and her (7months) face lights up when he walks into the room and she shouts at him to get his attention. Its just so funny and I wouldn't change a second of it.

Having done the big gap (5 years) I have to say I prefer the smaller gap, its hard work and the baby weight has fallen off both myself and hubby, but its happy hard work I consider myself very lucky

Hellrazer

We`re in a similar position.One aged 2 years and 10 months and one 1 year 5 months.
Best decision we ever made having the 2 close together since themselves are so close.Watching them playing together is just great and they amuse themselves most of the time.

IsThatSo? wrote: »

I have a 16 month gap between my last two children (yes, it was planned!!) and I had major morning sickness for the entire 9 months on my last pregnancy and I managed. I just went, got sick and then had my breakfast, I was good by 11 or thereabouts lol (apologies to the squeamish ) A few days I just had to lie down on the couch for a few hours at a time and would leave soft toys in the general direction of the baby and watch him play.


Thing is, you cope when you have to and thats just the way of it There is always a reason NOT to do it like waiting for one milestone or another with the older child, and the time just goes by. It does come down to personal preference though, so each person has to make the decision for themselves.

My youngest two are now 23 months and 7months. I find I don't get out much, its just too much hassle for right now with differing nap times etc (and a school run thrown in the mix) but I love watching the pair of them together, they are totally besotted with each other. He (23months) drools all over her head in what is supposedly a kiss and her (7months) face lights up when he walks into the room and she shouts at him to get his attention. Its just so funny and I wouldn't change a second of it.

Having done the big gap (5 years) I have to say I prefer the smaller gap, its hard work and the baby weight has fallen off both myself and hubby, but its happy hard work I consider myself very lucky

Lizzykins

In my own case I have a nearly 3 year gap between number one and two but only 13 months between child two and three. The first 6 months were the worst with two in nappies and teething and the like. After that it's not too bad. I thought 3 years was nearly ideal.

Voltex

I have a 2 year old and a 3 month old and its hard hard hard....
the toddler is still a baby and needs constatnt attention...and so is the new baby but different types of attention.

I think 3 and a newborn would be ideal OP

MrsA

I was already pregnant when my Son turned 6 months. They are now almost 20 months and almost 6 months and I would not have it any other way.

People can tell you their stories but, ultimately it is what works for you and your family that is best.

I have no regrets about the 14 month gap between my boys.

M
xx

IsThatSo?

Lizzykins wrote: »

The first 6 months were the worst with two in nappies and teething and the like.

Absolutely agree with things being rough the first six months. My youngest turns seven months tomorrow and it just seems to have gotten easier all of a sudden, literally overnight. Things like not having to sterilise bowls/spoons, first tooth cut and being able to sit up in a buggy all make a huge difference

Voltex made a very valid point also, a 2 year old is still a baby and needs considerable attention. I always feel that the terrible twos don't pass until they reach 4.....................

OP, no matter when you do it there will be adjustments to be made by all of you, the rest is just details, so go for it when you all feel ready to make the changes to fit another person into your lives and don't worry to much about age gaps.

misspiggy40

13 months between our boys. 4 and 5 now. Totally brill as they have similar interests, bedtimes, clothes, etc. 3 years between them and our first but she is our only girl so it is different anyhow. That was a great gap too....though not a chosen one. She was out of Nappies etc before the 2nd. In short, there are pros and cons for the mams and dads but the kids will just take it as it comes either way.

Good luck, enjoy this fabulous time with your baby.

noby

Whilst there are obviously other considerations our first two are 14 months apart, and it's great. They grow up together, and the younger of the two seemed to catch up with her brother, so they learned certain things together.