I'm very confused

GalwayDub2

OK Were new to this "trying for a baby" lark, so still getting used to the dates and stuff.

The first day of my last period was 17th August, so I worked out I should ovulate around 30th/31st August.

Someone mentioned keeping an eye on your cervical mucus, and it should be like a raw egg white when your most fertile. But its like that today, on 9th September!?

I'm confused.................very confused.

crazy cat lady

How long is your cycle? Have you just come off the pill?

It might be the 'norm' to ovulate when all the books and the internet say you should, but you'll find that everyone is different.

My advice would be to try and get in tune with your body, you'll know when you're ovulating because of the little pinching pain you might get on one side of your tummy, or you might feel a little emotional around that time. I also found that I was more 'in the mood' when i was most fertile! Your mucous is also a great indicator.

I wouldn't get too stressed the first few months of ttc. It takes the average couple about 6 months of trying. Try to relax and just enjoy baby making! Anxiety and stress can have a huge impact on conception.

good luck

GalwayDub2

Thanks a mill. Yep I just came off the pill last month, so I havent really a clue how long my cycle is yet. I just thought I had it ALL sorted this month with the dates, but I'm probably getting ahead of myself :rolleyes:

ebmma

Hey GalwayDub!

If you are not in too much of a hurry with concieving and you are healthy why not try to just come off the pill and enjoy sex and see what happens?

Before you get into the dates and mucus?
I understand that most people seem to want to feel in control, but why not just try and let nature take it's course?

Going on holiday is great for it too

Ashxox

hi i just signed up. Iv been reading up on all the TTC threads trying to get some answers. I couldnt work out how to post my own thread :pac: im pretty much going through the same thing. just came off the pill about a month ago after 8 years on it. started trying right away and began folic straight away. Used the ovulation kits until I got a smiley face. Iv no idea when im going to get a period, my heads all over the place. Iv been doing tests like a crazy woman but all negative. I dont know if that means im not pregnant or its too early for a test to work.

DetectivFoxtrot

cervical fluid is the second most reliable detection of ovulation. The first is measuring your Basel Body Temperature (BBT). In my experience OPKs can be unreliable, especially the non-digital ones, I find them difficult to read.... As a previous poster reccommended enjoy the sex for know, until you get your first 'post pill' period, at least thereafter you'll have some idea of your cycle and can plan your approach. If I was you though I would have sex today, tomorrow and the next day... my friend just got pregnant recently during her first month off the pill, I read up on it online and apparently you are 'extra' fertile during that month.

I ovulated on Monday (according to the stick) but my cervical fluid wasn't egg-white, I got that on Thursday, so 'I covered all bases' so to speak!:D

best of luck and keep your fingers crossed for me!!

ebmma

Ashxox wrote: »

hi i just signed up. Iv been reading up on all the TTC threads trying to get some answers. I couldnt work out how to post my own thread :pac: im pretty much going through the same thing. just came off the pill about a month ago after 8 years on it. started trying right away and began folic straight away. Used the ovulation kits until I got a smiley face. Iv no idea when im going to get a period, my heads all over the place. Iv been doing tests like a crazy woman but all negative. I dont know if that means im not pregnant or its too early for a test to work.

Hi!
That's probably not what anyone wants to hear, but you need to stop "testing like crazy". You'll just stress yourself. If your periods haven't came back yet set yourself time - like test once a month. And distract yourself so you don't obsess over the conception :-) Test before the month is over if you feel any symptoms of course (happened to me - I was expecting it to take a while and ended up pregnant 3 weeks later. But I did have a clear change in how I was feeling that's why I tested. Once. And then once a week later to confirm).

Just enjoy yourself, eat healthily, take it easy. If you are underweight eat more Sometimes very skinny girls take ages to conceive just because they are too skinny.

GalwayDub2

ebmma wrote: »

Hey GalwayDub!

If you are not in too much of a hurry with concieving and you are healthy why not try to just come off the pill and enjoy sex and see what happens?

Before you get into the dates and mucus?
I understand that most people seem to want to feel in control, but why not just try and let nature take it's course?

Going on holiday is great for it too

Thanks for the reply! I just cant figure out when I'm due my next period. The 1st day of my last period was 17th August, so I figured I should have been due them last week, they still havent arrived, so I did a test today and its negative. Its 5 weeks since my last period, what the hell is going on

ebmma

GalwayDub2 wrote: »

Thanks for the reply! I just cant figure out when I'm due my next period. The 1st day of my last period was 17th August, so I figured I should have been due them last week, they still havent arrived, so I did a test today and its negative. Its 5 weeks since my last period, what the hell is going on

Don't worry, it's all ok :-)

If you were on a pill and your last 'period' was when you were still taking it then there isn't really a way to tell when the next one will show up because bleeds on the pill aren't real periods.

I would just wait longer. It might take a while for normal period to return. In fact my never did. I got pregnant before my 1st proper after-pill period showed up
Also being stressed can delay your period, which is annoying, so try to distract yourself a bit if you get properly pregnant it's not gonna go away so you'll get some symptoms eventually

good luck

GalwayDub2

I spose I was imagining the same thing would happen to me, that I'd get pregnant straight away once I came off the pill

I'm not the most patient person in the world and I dont want to be doing tests all the time (well I've only just done 1 so far), I'm just going to have to sit back and wait. :eek:

Das Kitty

It still could! When I was waiting for my period to come (a week late or so I thought, I was actually only ovulating and therefore missed the window. Don't stop trying because you think your period should be here by now, you may not have even ovulated yet.

Das Kitty

DetectivFoxtrot wrote: »

cervical fluid is the second most reliable detection of ovulation. The first is measuring your Basel Body Temperature (BBT).

The only thing about BBT is that it tells you after ovulation so is effectively too late. Fluid monitoring worked for me, hope it works for you!

prissylee

Das Kitty wrote: »

It still could! When I was waiting for my period to come (a week late or so I thought, I was actually only ovulating and therefore missed the window. Don't stop trying because you think your period should be here by now, you may not have even ovulated yet.

That's a really good tip, thanks das kitty! My temperature is all over the place this month and i cant detect whether ive ovulated or not yet! Thought i was back on track there with regular enough cycles for past two months, but temp gone haywire now! CM not really helping either....?!
Hope your pregnancy going well by the way.

OP - you need to try and relax and let your body get back to normal. I'm off pill since jan and thought i was back to being regular. But obvioulsy not the case. So the body can play tricks at any time and esp if you've been on the pill for a good few years.... That might not be what you want to hear, but it's the case for a lot of us here.

Good luck

kassie

hi galwaydub... i'm in the exact same position as you...i think we might be twins i had my last period on the 11th of August having come off the pill the week before after 11 years!!!!:eek: still no sign of my period since, i'm on CD43ish now two tests later with negetive results... and like you i want it to happen straight away LOL but we can't force mother nature in these situations... i'm trying to not obsess over it and accept that my period will arrive any day and then we can get on with getting jiggy with it... but we are still enjoying the fun sex in the interim, after all we need to have good happy sex for those little swimmers to get to their destination...

GalwayDub2

Hiya Kassie,

Yep we deffo sound like twins!!

Got my period yesterday, so it works out 39 days later!!!!!!!!

Wonder if its just like that for the first month or two or will it be every 39 days from now on I'll get a period. And is it 14 days from now I'll be ovulating.

I really think I need to get that book someone suggested on the thread earlier. Its getting more confusing!:eek:

jasonb

Hi everyone...

I just want to repeat the best advice on here, which is just to relax, enjoy the sex ( 'Free Sex' as my wife and I call it ) and see what happens.

My wife came off the pill a few months ago after being on it for a few years, and her cycle is still sorting itself out. If your cycle was quite regular before you were on the pill, it'll probably go back to being regular after a couple of months. If it wasn't regular then it'll probably go back to not being regular!

Personally I think the best way to do it is to just see what happens the first few months and have fun! If after maybe 6 months you haven't conceived yet then maybe start looking at things like temperature and cervical fluid. I guess it all comes down to each couple and how much of a hurry you're in!

J.

GalwayDub2

Thanks for the advice Jason.

I'm not the most patient person on the planet thats my problem :eek:

I'd prefer if I could just forget about it and when it happens it happens, I havent been obsessing too much really, I just thought my period was due last week and when it didnt it kinda got me thinking.

I want to make sure I get the ovulation date right though, otherwise another month will be "wasted".

Feels kinda strange having this conversation with a bloke!!!!!

jasonb

I know what you mean, but remember, half of the people trying to conceive are blokes!

One of the fears my Wife and I had was that it would all become stressful and completely take the enjoyment out of it. That's why we decided ( for a few months at least ) to just see what happens, instead of trying to plan anything. If after a few months we haven't conceived and we both feel like we want to try a little harder, then we'll look at planning it more. We don't really want to get to a stage where she's ringing me at 2:45 on a Wed afternoon saying 'meet me in the car park, I'm ovulating NOW!!!'. Of course, if she rings me just 'cos she's in the mood, that's a different story!

I know it's different for every couple, some people want children as soon as they can, some are in no hurry. But try not to consider it a 'wasted month' if it doesn't work out. Remember, you still got to have lots of sex with the person you love, and trying to conceive is an intimate and loving time for a couple. Even if you get all the dates just perfect, it still just might not happen that month, and putting stress on yourself only reduces the chance of it happening.

You gotta love nature : when we were all younger and not ready for children and a period was late, we'd get stressed out and that would delay the period even more. Now, when we'd like to have children, we get stressed if the period isn't late, and that delays getting pregnant even more!

I hope it all goes well for you, enjoy it!

J.

GalwayDub2

Yep were kinda at the stage where were just enjoying it and will see what happens, we only decided last month to start trying so its still very early days.

And like you, I dont want to get to the stage where I'm ringing him saying QUICK get home now! I hope we dont have to go down that road!

I think in the back of my mind, the reason I'm in such a rush is because I'm 35 so its not like I've ages and ages to sit back and wait

jasonb

Yep, I'm 35 too, 36 in a couple of months, and my Wife is 34. We are aware of the age thing, but as of yet we're not thinking about it too much. I guess with these things the only thing to do is try for a while, see what happens, and then decide if more planning needs to be done! It's a balance, keeping the fun and spontaneiy while also getting good timing!

J.

GalwayDub2

I'm 36 in a couple of months too, and my other half is 42.

I was laughing at what you said earlier, I was thinking the same thing too! You spend years trying your best NOT to get pregnant, what a turn around this is!

jasonb

Yep! That's why we call it 'Free Sex'. It's sex without worrying about the consequences... Well, unless you're worrying about *not* getting pregnant!

J.

GalwayDub2

A quick question, if my period came 39 days later.....is it still between 10-14 days after the first day of my period that I will ovulate?

LegacyUser

ok let me tell you something important about ovulating. In text book cases we women are supposed to ovulate on day 14 of our cycles. I got pregnant on both my children on day 10 and day 9 respectively. Try get into the habit of taking your temp every morning before you move out of bed. Chart it and you will see after a cycle or two when you're ovulating. You get a temp drop just before you ovulate followed by a rise which stays above the normal 36.4 (approx) till your period starts or you find our you are pregnant. I'm 44 now and i know it all seems like a waste of valuable time doing this but you can still try for your baby while doing this.

If anything you'll know just when you conceived if you do get pregnant. The best way to know if you're fertile is by cervical mucus but a lot of people find this method tiresome also. my advice is to keep doing what you're doing and if you don't have any cervial mucus that's noticable, you can use a product called "pre-seed" which mimics it and nourishes the sperm as they swim for the egg and also give them something to swim in. I know this cause at my age you're mucus is pretty much gone and i used it conceive my little girl that is now 8 months old.

Oh and i should mention also that after 10 years trying for a second baby, i resorted to acupuncture and chinese herbs. It took just over 6 months of treatments to fall pregnant and i'm back on treatments to try for a third. Ladies, don't let age put you off one of the most wonderful experiences of all. As i said, i'm 45 next month and i know i can do it again. One last thing, L-Argenine can improve your egg quality especially in older mothers.

Das Kitty

You'll probably still be irregular for another while, most people kinda give up on counting days as the female body likes to defy maths

I'd use another method of ovulation prediction.

gillymot1

Hi girls,

This is my third attempt to post a reply today and my pc keeps stalling. Won't get all long winded again. Just wanted to let you know that i'm 44 and had my second child 9 months ago. I'm trying for my third now. I ovulated day 10 for my first and day 9 for my second so forget about this day 14 idea. I never had cervical fluid worth talking about but came across "pre-seed" which feeds the sperm and gives them the right ph to swim in on the way to the egg. I also used castor oil wraps to warm my womb and am now taking fertility smoothies to get ready for my next pregnancy. At 40 i wrote off having more kids. I thought i was too old. I'm 45 in November and i feel better than ever. Don't let anyone put you off because of your age. Anyway i said i'd be brief. Check out www.natural-fertility-info.com. Its nothing short of amazing and very user friendly. Good luck to you all. I'll keep you posted from my end too. deirdre

CathyMoran

I decided not to go by the dates - we had sex every day/2 days max from the day my period was almost over to my next period...he was tired but apart from that fine...I know that this may not work for everyone (we are both 35)...having said that, I am unusual in that I was never on the pill.

When we first decided to try I got a pack of ovulation predictors but did not use them consistently, as it turns out I decided to get rid of the pack and got a positive result, though it was on a later day than I expected (day 14).

beachbabe

I spent a small fortune on ovulation sticks. I eventually invested in a digital ovulation kit, it cost about 100 euro and the packs of sticks are about 20 euro for 20 sticks. The ovulation sticks cost about 35 euro, with I think 5 or 7sticks in a pack, some months I was going through 2.
The digital test is better in that it indicates when your fertility is increasing as well as when you ovulate.
The night we concieved my husband was feeling sick with a temperature... not sure if that helped!!;)

GalwayDub2

I just bought some ovulation sticks........1st time ever!

They were €33 for 7, rip off I know, but I'll try these out and will buy on the net the next time.

Must read up tonight and see how to use them!

di11on

ebmma wrote: »

Hey GalwayDub!

If you are not in too much of a hurry with concieving and you are healthy why not try to just come off the pill and enjoy sex and see what happens?

Before you get into the dates and mucus?
I understand that most people seem to want to feel in control, but why not just try and let nature take it's course?

Going on holiday is great for it too

Agree completely with this. You think you're in control, but you're so not :-) We decided when we got married to not do anything to prevent pregnancy as we were ready for kids. Boom. Honeymoon baby :-) Then we had a m/c. Then, we were using concraceptives and had a miracle baby And then we had a m/c again... so... don't worry about timings and mucus just yet :-)

Also, for me, there's something special about the fact that no. 2 wasn't planned... she was 1000% wanted, but was a surprise :-) For me, there's something special about that... like she's a little gift :-)

GalwayDub2

I know everyone is saying sit back, relax, enjoy the sex, it will happen itself.

But in the back of my mind, I'm thinking.......I'm 35. One of my friends came off the pill a year ago and said if it happens it happens and still nothing. Shes 27 so not in as much of a rush. I just dont want to be sitting her in a years time like her still saying, if it happens it happens. Because I'm only fertile for such a short time in the month, I'd rather know when to hit the spot so to speak!