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when to start/stop having kiddies

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    #32
    Moonbeam
    Moderators, Education Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 18,953 Mod ✭✭✭✭Moonbeam


    ebmma wrote: »
    On the bright side, you are young enough to remember yourself as a kid and how it felt (hopefully, anyway) nad have a chance of being more understanding.

    I would personally be weary of having a kid really late in life ("after everything else is achieved" like some people say) and turning him/her into a last long-term project/investment. Also it's nice to give them a sibling or two.

    I'm an only child and won't inflict that on anyone.

    I have to agree,I wouldn't either.


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    #33
    Dublin141
    Closed Accounts Posts: 190 ✭✭Dublin141


    We had our first at 21, second at 23 and our third and fourth at 25. I would love more but I dread the thoughts of being pregnant, I'm not good at pregnancy. We had our children young for a couple of reasons. Firstly, we loved each other and wanted to start a family together (obviously) then when we had our first, we tried for over a year to get pregnant with our second. I had doubts that we would be able to have another but I got pregnant almost straight away and was delighted to discover it was twins.

    Secondly, I was concerned with time and health. There are quite a few fertility problems in my family and some of my family members have gone through the menopause in their 20's. We were afraid we would miss our chance as it were and also neither of us wanted to have a baby in our 30's or 40's. That's fine for other people, we wanted to be young parents. I don't think I would be a great mother of toddlers in my 40's.

    The third factor was my career. I worked in a government funded employment agency before I had my children. I saw a huge amount of women who came in struggling to find work in later life. Lots of them had given up their careers to have their babies, then when the children were in school they attempted to re-enter the workforce only for their skills to be out of date and their age to be a negative factor. I figured my best option was to have my family young and still be young enough when they went to school to get back into the career I wanted and on a promotion track.

    Everyone has their own reasons for starting/stopping. It's up to you to find your own way. My decisions wouldn't work for some people just as other people's decisions wouldn't suit me. There is never the perfect time financially. My only regret is the ridiculous amount of money I spent on my first child on must have items that I never used. :rolleyes:


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    #34
    Noffles
    Registered Users Posts: 1,549 ✭✭✭Noffles


    It's a difficult one this, have them young and you'll miss a load of cool stuff that you could of done in your twenties, have them in your forties and you'll be crappy old parents that other kids laugh at.... and yes they do that!

    So I would think very early thirties is your window and that's it, have your own good life then use your thirties to bring up kids, then by the time your in your late forties they're moving on and just in time for you to be "young" enough to enjoy a little more life.. =)


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    #35
    PullOutMethod
    Closed Accounts Posts: 70 ✭✭PullOutMethod


    I'm a 41 bloke and my wife is 35.
    I have 2 daughters, 2 years old and 10 months old (Irish twins as they say :))

    As a Dad I spend every minute of my day I am not in work with them (apart from one round of golf a week).
    I have missed every single sporting event / TV event for the past 2 years.
    Who cares - what is more important watching your kids first steps / words or some crap on TV ?

    Sometimes I am physically tired, but it is worth it.
    The only thing that scares me is if both me and my wife became ill or injured.
    But even then I guess there would be family to help out.

    Yes kids cause pressure on ones relationship, but if you are rock solid and love each other whats the problem ?

    In a couple of years we will probably go again (touch wood).

    Parenting is the most amazing experience of my life.


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    #36
    nesf
    Registered Users Posts: 27,645 ✭✭✭✭nesf


    Honestly, I'd tend towards the argument that it's best to have them younger if possible, purely to get the horrible sleep deprivation of the early years over and done with when you're young and have more energy.

    That said, to each their own and all that.


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    #37
    afterhours
    Registered Users Posts: 100 ✭✭afterhours


    I think 24-25 is a nice age, you don't want to be 40 and taking care of a new born. you'd probably wont have the energy that a 24 year old would...

    i know when i'm 40, i'll be damn happy my son will be 16... i hated the getting up at 2am everynight.. and the toddler age.. spare me!! hahaha

    i'm still studying, i'm married for 2 years.. son is 15 months now.. no job cause of the ****ty recession... travel alot back to where i come from (canada) though.. husband makes a good wage..

    etc..

    it's alright now, cause they are alot of work..

    i have about 5 years of post secondary education (irish:third level) behind me... thank god!!!


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