If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)

Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Quick 'Uns 2

Rufus.T.Firefly · 2009-09-10 14:36:06

Jill, on an airplane, strikes up a conversation with the geeky computer programmer sitting next to her. "Where are you going?" asks Jill. "I’m going to San Jose," says the geek, "to a UNIX convention." Later, Jill’s husband picks her up at the airport. "How was the flight?" he asks. "Oh, fine," says Jill. "I sat next to…

10-09-2009 3:36pm

#1

Rufus.T.Firefly

Closed Accounts Posts: 159 ✭✭

Join Date: July 2009

Posts: 67

Jill, on an airplane, strikes up a conversation with the geeky computer programmer sitting next to her.

"Where are you going?" asks Jill.

"I’m going to San Jose," says the geek, "to a UNIX convention."

Later, Jill’s husband picks her up at the airport.

"How was the flight?" he asks.

"Oh, fine," says Jill.

"I sat next to this guy I felt really sorry for."

"Why’d you feel sorry for him?"

"He didn’t have any testicles."

"What?!" says the husband.

"And just how did you learn *that*?"

"Because," says Jill,

"He said he was going to a eunuchs’ convention."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was having a pretty big dump last night and at the highest point of struggle to drop it out, my wife accidentally turned off the light in the toilet.

Immediately I started to scream like crazy,

She turned it back on and asked through the door

"What’s the matter, are you alright"?

With a huge relief, I replied:

"Nothing, I'm fine,

I just thought my eyes popped out".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man goes to psychiatrist because his girlfriend thinks he is obsessed with sex.

The doctor draws a square and asks the man what he sees.

"Sex," said the man.

The doctor drew a circle and asked what the man saw.

"Sex," replied the man.

So the doctor draws a picture of a triangle and asks the same question.

"Sex," said the man.

"Well" said the doctor, "you are obsessed with sex."

"I'm obsessed?" said the man.

"You're the one who keeps drawing the dirty pictures

4