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Advice needed

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  • 14-09-2009 8:28pm
    #1
    SunnyP
    Closed Accounts Posts: 110 ✭✭


    Hi

    I dont usually post here Im just after a bit of advice if possible. I have been in a relationship with my partner for nearly 3 years now. He has two kids with his previous gf and the relationship between him and her has recently gone from bad to worse

    We take the kids every weekend from Fridays to Mondays and then during the week if she is working late etc.

    He has never given his ex maintenance the agreement always was that he paid creche fees instead, our problem now is that the kids have a new childminder who is considerably cheaper than the creche so now she wants cash into her hand every week. Now neither myself or him have any problem with paying her maintenance the question is how much we should pay her

    My partner has recently been made redundant and like everyone else money is tight at the moment, when we have the kids all their needs are looked after clothes etc are all provided by us, we also pay towards school costs such as uniforms and books.

    His ex is getting really mental lately keeps calling swapping days we have the kids getting us to take them more and more (which my partner doesnt mind if it was up to him we'd keep them the whole time)

    Sorry I know this is turning into a bit of a rant - none of my friends are in this situation so I feel like I have no where to turn, and I'm terrified of loosing the kids so I wanna make sure we are doing everything correctly

    We have also been thinking about giving her the 'maintenance' payments by cheque is that okay???


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    #2
    metrovelvet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,376 ✭✭✭metrovelvet


    SunnyP wrote: »
    Hi

    Now neither myself or him have any problem with paying her maintenance the question is how much we should pay her

    It's not WE. It's HE.

    This is an agreement your partner has to make with her. Maybe suggest to him that they work out a parenting plan and come to a financial agreement.


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    #3
    Orion
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,807 ✭✭✭✭Orion


    metro - that's crap, unhelpful and irrelevant. They're in a relationship - what affects him, affects her. That's what a relationship is.

    @OP: Was the agreement in writing? And why is she handing over the kids more and more? He sounds like he loves his kids and enjoys the time with them - which is a good thing. But that doesn't mean he should be screwed over. It might be worthwhile speaking to a family law expert (http://www.flac.ie/ have some) to see about iron-cladding responsibilities and duties for both parents.


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    #4
    SunnyP
    Closed Accounts Posts: 110 ✭✭SunnyP


    Thanks macros ill have a look into it. She has met a new bf and when they make plans the kids get reshuffled to us. Its getting seriously messed up lately and its the kids who are being affected


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