Getting the message out- you can be cured

pog it

Hey all!

I have mentioned this in a couple of threads but I am someone who recovered from their speech problem. I recovered when I was 23, and am 27 now. I am 99.9% perfect now, with the very odd slip and I believe it's possible for anyone to cure themselves, I really do.

It's still hard for me to talk about the suffering I went through in secondary school over it, it was a very dark time, and I remember taking solace when I read an article from someone in the local paper about a therapy programme. I didn't do the programme, but I remember being glad to know I wasn't alone.

The reason I'm starting this thread is cause I think it's time there was a nationwide campaign or at least a campaign to get a campaign started, and I'd love to know what ye think would help?

We need it nationwide. A helpline advertised absolutely everywhere. We need recovered stammerers or seriously in tune people to man those phones and tell people you can be cured.

What else can we do?

Has anyone been in touch with the Irish Stammering Association? I am going to look into them but I NEVER read or hear anything from them. Who is working there? And what are they doing?

anyone any suggestions about what would help?

Paul4As

There is a Stammering Awareness Day at The Wynns Hotel in Dublin on Saturday 17th October, 2009...why don't you come along to that Pog and tell us all the secret of how to become cured of a stammer!!!
The floor is always open to attendees...I'm sure the hundred odd in the audience would find your advice extremely helpful!!!
Website for the Irish Stammering Association is www.stammeringireland.ie ...there are contact detail there!!!

pog it

Yea I'm going to call them tomorrow and see can I volunteer, but I really would love more ideas about what will help.

And while I am cured and I wrote here about it last year to give people hope and show them it's possible- I am not a good public speaker. And a lot of people who are fluent and never had a stammer have a phobia about public speaking, so that is the reason I won't accept the invitation. I can do it but it's stressful. I did it at conference last year and I also did one for my postgrad, and i was stammer free, but I only did it because I had to! So that is my reason for that.

Now how I got cured:

1. I stopped giving a **** what people thought of me
2. I stopped giving a **** what people were thinking when I was speaking and stammering
3. I realised I had just as/ and more interesting things to say than the person I was talking to
4. It came to a peak. I was in a job and every day I was getting back into being more and more paranoid about what I was saying, it got to a stage where I was only speaking when I knew it would come out fluently! And I was holding back otherwise
5. After a few months of this job and this situation, I went for a month on my own travelling all over Holland and it was such an incredible massive relief to be away from that tension that when I came home something happened!
6. When I came home I had to make a call about my new job and I drank a couple of small glasses of absinthe to take the edge of the nerves off.
7. The call went well. I don't know, after that I was okay. It was a bit of a miracle and I thank God for it every day

1-3 steps took longest though. Like I say I started adopting the devil may care attitude when I was around 19/20, so it did take 3 years.
But looking back now maybe it's a good thing.

Even writing this now and talking about it, it's a bit emotional for me. Like that tight feeling you get in your stomach when you are being asked to read aloud in class.. I had the most hellish time of my life back then as I wasn't good at coping with it sadly, and yeah it's amazing how I don't even have to remember too often that I had the problem.

Hope it helps someone.

pog it

Thanks for the website info for Irish Stammering Association. Their email is mail@stammeringassociation.ie and on the site there is tons of info on meet-ups and focus groups in different areas. So they are doing some ground work.

I'll talk to them tomorrow and find out what's going on there and see can I help.

I'll come back and post here tomorrow and let you know what they help with, do, what others can do, etc.

Paul4As

Writing on a forum the steps on how to become fluent I don't really believe is going to cure any readers on here!!! You need to sell it in person to stammerers!!!
The Stammering Awareness Day is really your opportunity to really kickstart your campaign!!! You sound like you have soooo much energy to be brave enough!!!
If you did a presentation for your postgrade and were stammer free...talking in front of a room full of stammerers should be easy!!!
I said a few words at last year's Awareness Day and stammered on most sentences...but it helped my confidence greatly!!! Your nerves go once you start speaking!!!
Even if you don't speak at the Awareness Day to the masses...attend it!!! I would love to meet you in person!!! I'm sure Stephen P who moderates on here and who is going to The Awareness Day (I think) would love to hook up with you too!!!
Keep us updated on your correspondences with the ISA please!!!

pog it

I'll think about it but like I said- public speaking is a different kind of phobia, but at the same time, I might go to meet with you guys, if you want?

Anyway I'm about to call the ISA, they'll prob be askng me to do the same thing!

And no Paul- I am giving good advice on how to get on the road to recovery- there is no magic pill. Positive mental attitude, devil may care attitude, etc. and like I said it's not going to happen overnight.

If it can happen for me it can happen for anyone that's what I believe.

My brother has a stammer- we think it was hereditary. But he did the Maguire program and he has improved so so much over the last year- I would say he is 80% fluent now. He has to make calls all the time and he goes to the awareness days too- maybe he's going to this one coming up. I'll ask him at the weekend.

To be honest Paul I want to reach out to the country. When I was younger and 16 I wouldn't have known about these awareness days and ya know the younger you are the worse you are at coping so we need to help those people especially in my opinion.

I'll get in touch with ya about the weekend in dublin.

pog it

Just called em. The isa is only open mondays wednesdays and fridays...10am to 2pm.


What is that about?? that's just not good enough.

Paul4As

Pog it...if you are cured from stammering why are you only "99.9% perfect"??? I thought when someone was cured from any ailment they no longer had any symptoms!!! I suppose though 99.9% fluent isn't a bad thing...so well done you!!!
You are probably more fuent speaking than some fluent people themselves as most humans stammer from time to time...my wife even admits to stammering on the odd occasion yet she doesn't have a stammer!!!
You say your brother went on Maguire and is now 80% fluent now...why has he not turned to you for advice/therapy if you have already cured yourself??? Surely you can help him get up to the 90's percentage wise!!!
You certainly put a lot of effort in to "marking" yourself and your brother on both your speeches...something that I don't do...I just say what I want to say...I find that makes me feel fantastic...as if I have 100% fluent speech!!!
As for reaching out to the country pog it...if you wanna do that I'm afraid you will have to "walk the talk" and do some public speaking!!! Expand your "comfort zone" pog it!!!
As for the ISA only having limited opening times...maybe pog it if you joined the ISA then your subscription money could help fund more staff to take calls and provide support...an idea!!!
We definitely have to hook up in Dublin...there is only so much you can exchange on these forums!!!

pog it

Paul4As wrote: »

Pog it...if you are cured from stammering why are you only "99.9% perfect"??? I thought when someone was cured from any ailment they no longer had any symptoms!!! I suppose though 99.9% fluent isn't a bad thing...so well done you!!!
You are probably more fuent speaking than some fluent people themselves as most humans stammer from time to time...my wife even admits to stammering on the odd occasion yet she doesn't have a stammer!!!
You say your brother went on Maguire and is now 80% fluent now...why has he not turned to you for advice/therapy if you have already cured yourself??? Surely you can help him get up to the 90's percentage wise!!!
You certainly put a lot of effort in to "marking" yourself and your brother on both your speeches...something that I don't do...I just say what I want to say...I find that makes me feel fantastic...as if I have 100% fluent speech!!!
As for reaching out to the country pog it...if you wanna do that I'm afraid you will have to "walk the talk" and do some public speaking!!! Expand your "comfort zone" pog it!!!
As for the ISA only having limited opening times...maybe pog it if you joined the ISA then your subscription money could help fund more staff to take calls and provide support...an idea!!!
We definitely have to hook up in Dublin...there is only so much you can exchange on these forums!!!

I don't know what more I can say Paul- I just hope others are reading this and will believe that they can recover. Do you want me to change the words 'I'm cured' to 'I'm recovered'. Okay. I don't understand why you can't and even another poster on another thread, accept that I am cured. And yeah the 99.9% I put on my fluency now is to show I do slip every now and again, like you said- in the way most people slip on a word here and there!

Here's a testimony to it= people I meet in the last 4 years don't know I ever had a speech problem.. when I've told a couple of people they were surprised. And I seem to make these slips when I am stressed!

And I did tell my brother what I did- but he had his own way in the sense that he did the Maguire program, and has been making a couple of calls each week like they advised, and he has grown in confidence and has started to BELIEVE he can recover, be cured, whatever!

Paul I'd have given my right arm years ago to be even 80% cured, I am so grateful for having recovered.

A positive attitude is what you need Paul and I think you are doing well but keep up with it and keep encouraging others

Also Paul re. funding for the ISA and keeping it open. Are you serious? How do you think Mental Health Ireland got the funds to host the campaign that went nationwide. STATE funds. Damn straight and that is where you need the funds. Anyway I am going to volunteer with them and help them get new recruits and possibly I can cover hours that aren't being covered at present. I don't think that my 20euro will change things drastically. In fact it really really frustrates me that they ask people to give 20 euro to get an information pack and become a member. For God's sake, speech problems are very soul destroying for some people and this country is way behind.

Paul we have one thing in common in that we have experience of a speech problem, but otherwise I'm starting to think you and I will be going head to head!

And can you stop saying things like 'get out of your comfort zone'.

Damn straight I am staying in it to the level that keeps me safe. Wouldn't you? Even being here, I am only here to help others Paul, but it brings back the horrible memories and feelings I haven't had in a while so this is 'OUTSIDE my comfort zone in itself'.. I will go as far as I want. I don't enjoy public speaking and like I say, several of my friends hate it and avoid it and they have never had a speech problem.

I will volunteer with ISA and who knows get a decent campaign going.

I hope my stories have helped here at least to maybe people who are viewing but not writing any messages.

That is what I want from this forum on Boards.

Best of luck.

stutelle

Most people don't know I stammer because I am covert and hide my stammer very well, but just because others don't hear me stammer doesn't mean that I don't have all the horrible feelings about stammering.
I am now at a stage where I don't care if people know if I stammer or not and that means I am cured because it doesn't control me any more. Wanting to be fluent wasn't my goal, I could be fluent by avoiding, word substitutions etc. for me being cured is allowing myself to stammer in public and not caring.
So be careful about wanting to enlighten people with your theories on a cure, not all stammerers want the same thing.

As for paying for membership of the ISA, where do you suppose they get funds? They have to apply for grant aid from public and private bodies to fund their activities, public funding is hard come by particularly at the moment so I don't think they are exactly flush but I am sure they would be delighted for you to volunteer and help.
We will probably meet at awareness day and I look forward to the discussion

pog it

I think you missed my point. I wasn't trying to 'enlighten' people about my 'theories' on how to get cured. I was simply saying that YOU CAN GET CURED. Because I and lots of others would have thought they wouldn't fund a cure. There isn't any theory involved in that.

And ..I am happy for you that you have found your cure. I never suggested or theorized about ONE cure ever existing.


And re. ISA and funding I'm not going to try to convince you but I'd like to say that we are only now in recession. I didn't see a nationwide campaign in the good times either so I don't get why you're saying we're in hard times now- what was the difference in their funding even when there were good times?

I feel that the information pack for stammerers should not have to be paid for at the very least.

That isn't asking much.

Anyway I hope one person even understands what I am saying.

Good luck on the awareness day.

Charlie_Boswell

pog it wrote: »

Yea I'm going to call them tomorrow and see can I volunteer, but I really would love more ideas about what will help.

Hi Pog,
Firstly I'd like to say well done! fair play to you for finding what you consider your cure. I'm curious about a few things though, what had changed in you now that has made you decide to help others? Don't get me wrong I think its commendable that you want to help others..

pog it wrote: »

And while I am cured and I wrote here about it last year to give people hope and show them it's possible- I am not a good public speaker. And a lot of people who are fluent and never had a stammer have a phobia about public speaking, so that is the reason I won't accept the invitation. I can do it but it's stressful. I did it at conference last year and I also did one for my postgrad, and i was stammer free, but I only did it because I had to! So that is my reason for that.

Paul made the point in one reply to you that you need to push out your comfort zones, I have to agree, I am on a similar journey to you (I think) and I believe that if you do not keep pushing out your comfort zones and listening to yourself when you get scared or apprehensive about a speaking situation you need to take action to address this emotion and change your state of mind. you made some very good points below where you did this in the past, If you stop doing this I think it is far too easy to become complacent again.

pog it wrote: »

Now how I got cured:

1. I stopped giving a **** what people thought of me
2. I stopped giving a **** what people were thinking when I was speaking and stammering

The guys here have probably "heard" me on about Anthony Robbin before - what you describe above is what he would call changing your state. There is a very good program he did called "Get the Edge" I'd recommend downloading it (Google a torrent) This is helping me greatly to focus on and change my emotional state before/during/after I block or stammer.

pog it wrote: »

3. I realised I had just as/ and more interesting things to say than the person I was talking to
4. It came to a peak. I was in a job and every day I was getting back into being more and more paranoid about what I was saying, it got to a stage where I was only speaking when I knew it would come out fluently! And I was holding back otherwise
5. After a few months of this job and this situation, I went for a month on my own travelling all over Holland and it was such an incredible massive relief to be away from that tension that when I came home something happened!
6. When I came home I had to make a call about my new job and I drank a couple of small glasses of absinthe to take the edge of the nerves off.
7. The call went well. I don't know, after that I was okay. It was a bit of a miracle and I thank God for it every day

Again some of what you are saying here reflects what Stephen Covey would call a "Paradigm Shift" which means that you change how you see the world, getting away to Holland must have really helped you to get a new frame of mind.

pog it wrote: »

1-3 steps took longest though. Like I say I started adopting the devil may care attitude when I was around 19/20, so it did take 3 years.
But looking back now maybe it's a good thing.

Even writing this now and talking about it, it's a bit emotional for me. Like that tight feeling you get in your stomach when you are being asked to read aloud in class.. I had the most hellish time of my life back then as I wasn't good at coping with it sadly, and yeah it's amazing how I don't even have to remember too often that I had the problem.

Hope it helps someone.

I think everyone here can identify with difficult times in school years but what I have found is that I had put my experiences growing up on a pedastill blaming others for my stammer, for my negative emotions and a whole lot more. Its only recently that I have been able to realize that I am responsible for how I feel and how I see the world.

One piece of advice if I may though...I wouldn't call your recovery a "Cure" as others have already pointed out, most pws (including myself) are highly skeptical of anyone pro porting to have found a "cure".

Best of Luck
Charlie:cool:

pog it

Heya Charlie, you know more about the theory that I do and you're dead right, I do have a different view on the world than I did and I guess that has helped too. Realising how insane and absurd the world is anyway helps with everything actually It's a peaceful state of mind.

As to why now do I want to help? That's life- I don't understanding the timing of things but I know how life destroying it is, and I know how alone you can feel- and this is the worst when you're young and can't cope. The older you get the more stories you hear about depression and the mystery behind people taking their own lives, etc. and it's when you don't see any solution that you might give in to these thoughts.. and I think if people knew there was help available, and a real, definite possibility to get their satisfactory control/acceptance of the situation then they have the power to be happy. I know that this problem takes lives- I've done some googling and it really really makes me want to do something.

I guess again I am talking more about people who feel they can't talk to anyone about their problem. If only they knew! Every day the problem intensifies for them and having been there, its dark. So yea that's why I'd like to help. What else in life could be more worthwhile than helping people through something when you've been there yourself. If I ever win the lotto I know what I'll be doing with it!

stutelle

Hey Pog it, when I said i was cured I was being tongue in cheek, I don't know if there is a cure for stammering, I am not cured, I still stammer and my point, maybe not very well made, was fluency does not equal a cure and a cure is different for everyon. I don't care if I get cured, I am who I am, stammer and all.

I am not recovered either, I wasn't ill, unwell or suffering from stammering so there was nothing to recover from.

re ISA and paying for the membership pack , most clubs and organisations you join have a membership fee that goes towards the running the organisation, if you join a gym you pay the same fee whether you go once in the year or every day. Looking at the website there are a lot activities going on a lot of which costs money, €20 a year is not a huge amount of money to help the stammering community at large.
Try to ring again or be brave and leave a message and someone will call you back I am sure and then you can volunteer and help others and the more people get involved the better the services that can be provided for the whole community.

Stephen P

@pog it, if you're going to the awareness day make yourself known to me, I'd be interested in meeting you.
It's not compulsory to pay €20 p/year to the ISA. The ISA is a charity and as with all charities they rely on donations as well as grants from government. I don't think €20 is too much to ask for. It's totally up to you whether or not you pay this.
You're coming onto a Stammering forum proclaiming you have been cured/recovered. Most stammerer's once they hear the word "cure" they automatically think the stutter is gone completely 100%. This is not true in your case and you say it's 99.9% gone. You're description of how you got cured below is how a lot of stammerer's "over come" their stammer. I don't give a damn about what people think, I don't believe I'm cured. I think differently than I used to but that's it.
I was out with work colleagues tonight and was talking to my boss about various things, I brought up the subject of my stutter and he said it doesn't bother him and doesn't make a difference to my work one bit. That has really boosted my confidence and it's good to hear your boss saying something like that.
Regarding comfort zones, I believe to increase confidence its important to do things you wouldn't normally do. When I'm with my wife I tend to get her to ask for things, ordering etc., it's become a habit now and she automatically does it, but I need to start pushing my comfort zone out and ask myself. pog it, would you consider standing up at the awareness day and saying something, even if its hi my name is...and I'm doing this to push my comfort zone? Or something similiar to that? Even mention the campaign you're trying to organise? If you want a campaign to increase awareness or whatever unless you start no one will follow.

alrightcuz

obviously this subject is close to your heart and im not taking the piss but have ye ever came across someone who developed a stutter in there late 20's one of my best mates just stated stuttering one morning out the blue he was 27 he got the piss slagged off him except he had it for a year nearly 2 then it just went away again it was prity fuxxed up.

pog it

Stephen P wrote: »

@pog it, if you're going to the awareness day make yourself known to me, I'd be interested in meeting you.
It's not compulsory to pay €20 p/year to the ISA. The ISA is a charity and as with all charities they rely on donations as well as grants from government. I don't think €20 is too much to ask for. It's totally up to you whether or not you pay this.
You're coming onto a Stammering forum proclaiming you have been cured/recovered. Most stammerer's once they hear the word "cure" they automatically think the stutter is gone completely 100%. This is not true in your case and you say it's 99.9% gone. You're description of how you got cured below is how a lot of stammerer's "over come" their stammer. I don't give a damn about what people think, I don't believe I'm cured. I think differently than I used to but that's it.
I was out with work colleagues tonight and was talking to my boss about various things, I brought up the subject of my stutter and he said it doesn't bother him and doesn't make a difference to my work one bit. That has really boosted my confidence and it's good to hear your boss saying something like that.
Regarding comfort zones, I believe to increase confidence its important to do things you wouldn't normally do. When I'm with my wife I tend to get her to ask for things, ordering etc., it's become a habit now and she automatically does it, but I need to start pushing my comfort zone out and ask myself. pog it, would you consider standing up at the awareness day and saying something, even if its hi my name is...and I'm doing this to push my comfort zone? Or something similiar to that? Even mention the campaign you're trying to organise? If you want a campaign to increase awareness or whatever unless you start no one will follow.

Yeah to be honest I have been fine on the two occasions that I did public speaking, and I am even prouder still of when I needed a stop gap job after I came back from travelling and I worked on a switchboard- constant calling, inbound and outbound. If you'd told me 10 years ago I'd be doing that! At the same time though I just wouldn't want to push my luck. I need more campaign plans anyway before I go looking to spread the word! Haven't even had a chat with the ISA yet so I better calm down in case there isn't a chance to volunteer.

Re. ISA. I am delighted they do the work they do, they are organising lots of activities and events and they are there three days a week for a half day each week, but I feel that they would be more effective if the young stammerers particularly knew that they were out there to help. And if they could liaise with the Dept. of Education to help educate teachers. Wouldn't that be an amazing help. And to have a helpline always available. Surely the State can fund this? How many quangos are there out there? 200+? It really saddens me but it seems to me that the ISA got a miniscule fraction of what was out there and they just should not need to be a charity- they should be a well funded entity receiving money from related departments- HSE, etc. Maybe even other corporate companies outside of Maguire Programme. Someone said they sponsor and pay for these days? Anyway it's damn good that they do that, and they've done wonders for my brother.

The ISA might not have a place for me there but I will be talking to them tomorrow to see. God help them eh? hahaha Am moving to Dublin in 2-3 weeks anyway and would love if they can fit me into their organisation. I'm hoping there will already be a couple of volunteers like me as well.

We do need to lobby the government and state to put the funding into it though. I don't think you'd get enough money from individual donations though everything is a help.

Like if you wanted an information pack about setting up a business, they give away 'start your own business' books worth 20euro for free in State-funded Enterprise Boards!

stutelle

Hey Pogit,
any joy with the ISA? did you get talking to anyone yet?

pog it

Heya S. Not yet.. I am in the horrible process of moving house (and county- currently live in Galway) and also arranging new job so it's messy, but I'll have all sorted by end of next week and will know my whereabouts and hours then! Figure it's better to have that sorted before I volunteer time with them if ya know what I mean

Looking forward to it though.

stutelle

good idea, probably best to get yourself settled before contacting them, it is going to be hectic enough for you, give them a call when you are ready.

sure maybe when you are settled you might even come along to the ISA self help group and meet other people who stammer and are at differenct stages of dealing with their stammer
good luck with the move

Paul4As

pog it wrote: »

Heya S. Not yet.. I am in the horrible process of moving house (and county- currently live in Galway) and also arranging new job so it's messy, but I'll have all sorted by end of next week and will know my whereabouts and hours then! Figure it's better to have that sorted before I volunteer time with them if ya know what I mean

Looking forward to it though.

Pog it...did you manage to get speaking to the ISA about volunteering???
Just to let you know the ISA have their AGM tomorrow fortnight (29th November) in Dublin...I understand you can join the ISA then...and all the "top people" involved with the ISA will be there!!!

steamengine

pog it wrote: »

I have mentioned this in a couple of threads but I am someone who recovered from their speech problem. I recovered when I was 23, and am 27 now. I am 99.9% perfect now, with the very odd slip and I believe it's possible for anyone to cure themselves, I really do.

+1 ............... Hi Pog It,

I've read your recent post and eventually got round to responding to this one. One thing that surprised me in reading down through this thread is the doubt that stammering can be completely remedied.

I can remember the period back in my twenties when I thought my stammer would be a permanent feature for the rest of my life. I can look back objectively now and consider the possibility that the "negativity" precluded my mind from entertaining a 'cure'.

My 'cure' could be defined as just being able to operate normally with regard to telephone calls, asking for a ticket on a bus, discussing in a group etc.

The real part of the 'cure' was and still is the absence of any pre-conceived fear of stammering in any of the above scenarios.

I found the stammer almost evaporated when this stage was reached. And so what the hell if I hesitated any way !!!!

Good to see you posting again and I hope you keep doing so !!!