https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2055940817/signature-rules
Audi Sportscar Experience...because there's more to life than just.......existing..
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15-09-2009 10:43pm#1Thank God.
...forgive my meanderings.......I'm suffering a tad from sensory overload......:).....
Long story short, a person who had the invite to the above in Mondello today, couldn't go, and I got it as a freebie. I thought it would be an opportunity to drive a few nice new Audi's, maybe sit in or get a lift in, an R8 or new TT. Who knows, even a Gee Tee Red Dee Red Tee Red Eye .....:rolleyes: Besides, I'm a sucker for finger food...:D
So, up at 5:45, left here at 6:25, forgot my helmet, armed with a 15yr old map of Ireland........discovered the new M6 from Ballinasloe to Athlone, just the thing to wake up slowly, some nice straightline motoring. Gave the old 968 Tip a.........stretching of the legs, shall we say
I have to say, I was impressed. Went and handled for something that far belies it's age. And the lads in the jam-sandwich were very nice. There again, they overtook me 
So, expecting a car park of SDI A3's in ........grey :rolleyes:........as I went through the gate....Oh dear...........how wrong was I !!
First, when I got there, this is the sight I got just inside the gate: :eek: :eek:
Time to recalibrate !
Then stuff like this:
and this :
[OT] ...sorry, boards.ie s/ware won't let me post any more images in one post..!!.....[/OT]
....so, I see this monster truck, workshop, tyres, technicians......and not a single diesel in sight !! (to be continued.........)Ode To The Motorist
“And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, generates funds to the exchequer. You don't want to acknowledge that as truth because, deep down in places you don't talk about at the Green Party, you want me on that road, you need me on that road. We use words like freedom, enjoyment, sport and community. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent instilling those values in our families and loved ones. You use them as a punch line. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the tax revenue and the very freedom to spend it that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said "thank you" and went on your way. Otherwise I suggest you pick up a bus pass and get the ********* ********* off the road”
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And, we were welcomed into a fabulous......marquee .......you know, like the showrooms, steel, glazing, comtemporary chairs and tables, plasma screen with rolling ads and info..........and food. Lots and lots of food ! This was going to be a good day.
After a typically Teutonic briefing, out onto the track in the S4's.....and get a tour of the track, and then it broken into sections (a la Nurburgring classes)...all whilst getting a running radio commentary in the car, from the instructors, on your performance, and a de-briefing afterwards. School was never this enjoyable. Top stuff.
Then on to the R8's.
Now, I should have known, but hey, it's not as if I was ever going to notice unless I actually went shopping for one, but the ones we had......were the new V10 525bhp ones!! WooHoo !
...more....Ode To The Motorist
“And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, generates funds to the exchequer. You don't want to acknowledge that as truth because, deep down in places you don't talk about at the Green Party, you want me on that road, you need me on that road. We use words like freedom, enjoyment, sport and community. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent instilling those values in our families and loved ones. You use them as a punch line. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the tax revenue and the very freedom to spend it that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said "thank you" and went on your way. Otherwise I suggest you pick up a bus pass and get the ********* ********* off the road”
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...soooo....
...the running commentary has hilarious from the Instruktor's......'no, you haf another 1/2 metre. Ve haf rented ALL of ze track, so use it....... No, No, No....you brake zu early....' etc etc.
the first thing we had to learn was that. Oh hold on - they're all LHD ! YeeHaw...the Great Leveller !........and, all Sprotronic.......even better, that's that other stupid pedal gone too !
At last - a real Flappy Paddle Gearbox to play with ! And the noise.........oh, the noise !!
...so, back to the lesson: we had to learn the capabilities of the car. First, braking and accelerating. Actually, the other way around.........but you get me drift..........
Two cones to start from, and accelerate flat out to a laid out Elk-Test slalom effort. We were told to accelerate flat out 1st/2nd in manual mode, and NOT to brake until we entered the slalom, and then we were told to brake as absolutely hard as humanly possible.
Sure. Piece of..........well, you know...
Not !
Crumbs, took the 4 goes before Hr Instruktor was happy. And boy did I give it to it. Dainty pedal into the carpet first, and the big one into after. Jeez......it was shockingly fast and stopped dead. Incredible. Words fail me. Really. ....got me to thinking about my calipers needing a refurb.......:o .....oooerrr.
Then, it was off to the different sections of the track, under different instructors, for the rest of the morning, 4 goes each, flat out. Food, drinks,...and back out to do it again.
Then full hot laps. Jeebus -
[more]Ode To The Motorist
“And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, generates funds to the exchequer. You don't want to acknowledge that as truth because, deep down in places you don't talk about at the Green Party, you want me on that road, you need me on that road. We use words like freedom, enjoyment, sport and community. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent instilling those values in our families and loved ones. You use them as a punch line. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the tax revenue and the very freedom to spend it that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said "thank you" and went on your way. Otherwise I suggest you pick up a bus pass and get the ********* ********* off the road”
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[small pause]..whilst I figure out how to put up video's quick...[/small pause]
sorry, can't remember my YouTube login.....will do those tomorrow......
[resume story]
...anyhoo, there was a rolling first man last rota kinda thing: one hot lap behind the Instruktor and then at end of lap you pull over, and the rest of the group go ahead of you, and you tail-end. Repeat until everyone gets to drive behind the instruktor.
Reason for this is that he's watching you, analyzing you -IN HIS MIRRORS - COMMENTATING over the radio the whole time..........AND DRIVING FASTER THAN YOU......OMG OMG OMG
I think a worthy mention is due here: Meine Herren und Damen, the Fahrer-Maestro's: Jerry Ahlin, Oliver Rudolph, Rolf Volland and Jochi Kleint. Sirs, I salute you !
At the end of each session, you had to do 1 lap on flashers, without brakes, to cool them down.
Mind you Geoff and I - had commandeered this beauty:
...and all because.........Geoff spotted it had Carbon Fibre brakes !! (Another €12k to you, Sir... )
Sweet and Gentle God. I thought the seat belts would break, such was their tenacity. And, when you've brakes like that........you start to push it a little more. Hence the Instruktor telling us 'in the white car' to cool down.........(oops)....as we were inlcined to.....open up a gap behind, shall we say.........
Then, of course, you have the hot engine, the hot brakes. Which just leave the (very) hot tyres.........and hot they were. So hot in fact, that after a break for tea, they were still hot when we got BACK to the car ! I checked too, after one particular fast session, the SPOKES on the wheel were too hot to touch.Ode To The Motorist
“And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, generates funds to the exchequer. You don't want to acknowledge that as truth because, deep down in places you don't talk about at the Green Party, you want me on that road, you need me on that road. We use words like freedom, enjoyment, sport and community. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent instilling those values in our families and loved ones. You use them as a punch line. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the tax revenue and the very freedom to spend it that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said "thank you" and went on your way. Otherwise I suggest you pick up a bus pass and get the ********* ********* off the road”
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...allow me to try and get across just how fast this thing is, and how fast it slows down.
First, a map:
On the short back straight, from Stena to Turn 3 you would get it would up flat out in 3rd, snatch 4th, and at the 100m board, dab the brake. Squirt to the 2nd apex, down to 2nd, and then foot in the carpet, 3rd, to Ireland.ie, late turn in, and flat out 3r, 4th through Kennedy's rise to Lola, 2nd for that and back up to 3rd, 4th for Daly's drift, and down to 2nd for 7a and trying (trying..) to make one arc from 7a to exit of 7b.
Still there?
Birrane's Bends are odd. Flat out 2nd, 3rd, 4th in, and........then it chinks left. Do it in 2nd and it's all noise, revs, and snatch 3rd for Devaney's, which is a really, really long, and somewhat frustrating corner, getting 3rd on the way out on the way to Bikeworld (feathering) and cool it back down to 2nd for Dunlop, and the move-over shenanigans.
This is where you found out if your compadres were still close behind...;)...all part of the fun.......
Two sessions from the end, I had an epiphany: an old race-school day I day there years and years ago came back to me: I was a gear too low. Everywhere.
So, I did everything in 3rd and 4th, and let 525bhp and 530Nm of Torque slingshot me out of every bend, and changing UP just before each corner exit, somewhere past he apex.
Much Better !! Jeff did it too, and we found it a faster way round. Less frenetic, fewer gearchanges, more stable on corner entry/exit (less inertia pitching going on...)
....phew...I'm exhausted just remembering it....Ode To The Motorist
“And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, generates funds to the exchequer. You don't want to acknowledge that as truth because, deep down in places you don't talk about at the Green Party, you want me on that road, you need me on that road. We use words like freedom, enjoyment, sport and community. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent instilling those values in our families and loved ones. You use them as a punch line. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the tax revenue and the very freedom to spend it that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said "thank you" and went on your way. Otherwise I suggest you pick up a bus pass and get the ********* ********* off the road”
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So, am I a fast driver?
No idea. I had no time to watch the clocks. It was all done by ear. When the rev-limiter or ESP chimed in, grab another gear.
And the clever gearbox double-declutches and blips the throttle on downchanges for you ? So, you SOUND fast too !
Graphic car porn shot required at this point:
or two, perhaps.
.......more......Ode To The Motorist
“And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, generates funds to the exchequer. You don't want to acknowledge that as truth because, deep down in places you don't talk about at the Green Party, you want me on that road, you need me on that road. We use words like freedom, enjoyment, sport and community. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent instilling those values in our families and loved ones. You use them as a punch line. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the tax revenue and the very freedom to spend it that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said "thank you" and went on your way. Otherwise I suggest you pick up a bus pass and get the ********* ********* off the road”
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....but, all Good Things must come to an end, and so it is here, too.....
Eventually, pulled up in Pit Lane for the last time, and got out, wrecked. Hard laps are hard work. Lots of crumbly rubber deposited on the car front - and rear (!)....all the metal pinging nicely........
...and retired to Hospitality. There we snacked, got a Cert for our Grand Day Out...got thanked by Jerry Ahlin for giving back the same amount of cars they started out with and left with the advice that when we passed through the gates we were back in the Real World and to 'recalibrate' our driving once again........sigh.........so, hands shaken, goodbye's said, I trundled out to the old 968, slipped into D.......and headed home.
Tiredness caught me, however, and I pulled into one of the layby's on the new M6 - somewhere - and got about 20 minutes sleep.........and off home I set.
Which just leaves a couple of things to think about: doing this with cars, and all the fun, proves there's more to life than ****ing NAMA. That the people who build these things, and the people who taught us today, obviously love what they do, with a passion, and I - and I'd argue, the world - am the better for the experience. Especially since I don't have €240,000 to buy the car I just wringed the neck of.............more's the pity. I would, you know......I really would.
So I thought I'd leave you with nicest momento of all, apart from the memories, that is.......
Yep - We got to keep the helmets ! How Cool is that !
I'd just like to finish this evening with this last link: This ones's for John Gormally And yes - that is 32.4L/100km
8mpg.
As they say on the ad: '...because you're worth it....' Ode To The Motorist
“And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, generates funds to the exchequer. You don't want to acknowledge that as truth because, deep down in places you don't talk about at the Green Party, you want me on that road, you need me on that road. We use words like freedom, enjoyment, sport and community. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent instilling those values in our families and loved ones. You use them as a punch line. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the tax revenue and the very freedom to spend it that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said "thank you" and went on your way. Otherwise I suggest you pick up a bus pass and get the ********* ********* off the road”
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