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partner's ex looking for money

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  • 17-09-2009 10:02am
    #1
    bellybabe
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4 ✭


    i'm sure this is a well discussed chestnut!

    my partner has a child of school-going age with his ex. since the split, he has always paid a huge amount of maintainence, mostly down to her insistence that the child went to this really expensive montessori - something which my partner never wanted, and which usually meant he was digging into his savings every month to pay for it. the child is now in school and his mother has been offered 2 year's leave from work - meaning she could mind him on her days, and not send him to the overpriced afterschool care which she also insisted upon.

    now, the issue is, she wants my partner to continue paying the afterschool care fees... even though the child won't be going. in essence, pay her to mind her own son! what do you think? is she entitled to demand this? bearing in mind my partner will continue paying the set monthly maintainence!


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    #2
    sunflower27
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,822 ✭✭✭sunflower27


    I'd be ringing a solicitor pronto!!!!


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    #3
    ManOfMystery
    Registered Users Posts: 2,394 ✭✭✭ManOfMystery


    Definitely out of order, get onto a solicitor.


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    #4
    bellybabe
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4 ✭bellybabe


    but it's "her maintainence and she has the right to spend it as she likes"! eh, no, lovey. the maintainence is for your son's expenses, not you to swan around with!

    i've just seen a lot of maintainence-related threads in the Parenting forum, should this be moved? sorry!


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    #5
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    Done.


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    #6
    Shelli
    Closed Accounts Posts: 919 ✭✭✭Shelli


    Is your partner a legal guardian of the child? if not this is something he needs to get sorted ASAP, this gives him equal inut as to what school/childcare etc the child goes to. If childcare is needed then yes this should be included in the maintenance, but if not then he shouldn't be paying it.

    They both need to sit down and work out what the childs actual expenses are, then he should pay half. End of story, if the mother is not agreeable then it's time to seek outside help, maybe see a mediation service, legal is really the last option.


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    #7
    wexford202
    Closed Accounts Posts: 350 ✭✭wexford202


    No I wouldn't give her the money but I would possible lok to opening a post office or credi union account and put half the money in there every week.

    He can say he/she is entitled to have a rainy day fund for the child and spend it on the child himself or herself.

    Either that or do as the others say and go to a solicitor. It will cost you a lot of money in the long run too though


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    #8
    bellybabe
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4 ✭bellybabe


    yes, that's another worry, that he'd end up spending a rake on solicitor fees anyway.

    the credit union thing is a nice idea but considering she shouldn't be demanding any of the non-existent afterschool fees anyway, even half of it shouldn't be going to her.

    her argument is that she'll have increased costs if she has the child rather than send him to afterschool. but surely she'll be up in her own pocket if she's not paying her half of the fees, and her day to day living expense isn't anything to do with the dad. once the child is catered for, she's not really anything to do with my partner's expenses. :confused:


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