is it worth helping out strangers?

major bill

got myself into a sticky situation last week that i wont go into full detail about but a lad came to me for help on the street(a load of other lads were chasing him) and me been a sympathetic person felt sorry for him and decided to help but it completely backfired and ruined my night.

what are your thoughts on this? would yous help someone out or do you not get involved and mind your business?

i know a few years ago people wouldnt hesitate and would help people out but now its differant and more risky

Red Hand

It depends on the situation. Alot of nutters out there that can turn on you if your helping them, but then again alot of people being beaten up by nutters too.

Therefore, become a nutcracker.;)

Captain Furball

major bill wrote: »

got myself into a sticky situation last week that i wont go into full detail about but a lad came to me for help on the street(a load of other lads were chasing him) and me been a sympathetic person felt sorry for him and decided to help but it completely backfired and ruined my night.

what are your thoughts on this? would yous help someone out or do you not get involved and mind your business?

i know a few years ago people wouldnt hesitate and would help people out but now its differant and more risky

It back fired because it ruined your night?
Or because your man didn't get his head kicked in?
Fair play to you anyway for helping him.

major bill

it ruined me night cos couldve/nearly resulted in me been hospitalised

FunkZ

Adrian Kennedy knows the answers!

Jim

I saw a lad on the ground in town once getting kicked by a couple of other lads. I managed to chase them off, and when I helped the guy up he wanted to go after them. He claimed they were beating him because he was American. I stood there for ages trying to convince him not to go after them (he was very drunk), until he just said "Do they all have to have blonde hair in your Nazi country?" (I had bleech blonde hair at the time). I just him to go **** himself and walked off.

Drunk arsehole.

DazMarz

Depends... I'm usually loathe to put myself or my person into jeopardy for anyone that I don't hold dear to me in some way.

I would however help weaker members of society (the elderly, children, etc.) if they were being victimised. But I tend to avoid trouble like the plague, even if it does mean not being a Good Samaritan at times.

LaLucy

This is a 50 50 thing. The last time I helped someone it went wrong. Me and my boyfriend were driving home late one night and I spotted an old man at a phonebox looking a bit troubled. So I passed by him a few more times and he gestured for me to stop. He was about 80 years old, bit drunk and needing a lift home. He got in anyway was talkin absolute bollocks but he was drunk after all. Then we get to his house and he just wouldn't get outta the car. Then he started thanks for the help etc patting me on the shoulder then his hands started wandering!! It was fooking weird! My boyfriend got him out eventually but it was shocking him feeling me up the old git faced turnip. On the other hand I reckon if you do something kind and that person appreciates it that will influence them to do something nice for another person. Peace will be created dude!

LaLucy

This is a 50 50 thing. The last time I helped someone it went wrong. Me and my boyfriend were driving home late one night and I spotted an old man at a phonebox looking a bit troubled. So I passed by him a few more times and he gestured for me to stop. He was about 80 years old, bit drunk and needing a lift home. He got in anyway was talkin absolute bollocks but he was drunk after all. Then we get to his house and he just wouldn't get outta the car. Then he started thanks for the help etc patting me on the shoulder then his hands started wandering!! It was fooking weird! My boyfriend got him out eventually but it was shocking him feeling me up the old git faced turnip. On the other hand I reckon if you do something kind and that person appreciates it that will influence them to do something nice for another person. Peace will be created dude! P.s I recommend you read Danny Wallace book called Join Me

brendansmith

I will fight for a stranger right to party......but thats where i draw the line.

TomCo

Nah, **** everyone.

Dartz

TomCo wrote: »

Nah, **** everyone.

Seconded.

Most of 'em are scams now these days anyway.

abouttobebanned

I always ask myself, what would Jesus do. He told me once he stopped to help a lad carry a cross and things went down hill from there. So I think he'd tell me to look the other way.

Sharpshooter

Wasn't that uphill?
:pac:

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

Karma...

brendansmith

Karma...

Mr. Incognito

Would I want a stranger to help me

Yes.

Would I help a stranger

Yes.


Is this a common view, lets examine how we deal with homelessness, asylum seekers, immigrants, minority groups and gay members of our society and we know the answer is no.

Little Acorn

Channel 4 had a series about this called "Would You Save A Stranger?"

An episode that sticks in my mind,is one where a 12 year old girl got attacked on a bus. It was in the middle of the day,and by a gang of older girls that she didn't even know.
She got beaten really badly,and jumped on whilst down,and started screaming for somebody to help her.
Nobody did.
I thought the worst thing was when she was screaming for help,she said one woman whispered for her to shush!!
It showed the cctv on the bus,and you can see that everyone looks afraid,but keep staring out the windows like nothing is happening.
I think her attacker was caught,but that young girl said herself that she used to believe that if she was ever in trouble that she could call for help and that somebody would come.
She now has zero faith in humanity.
It was understandable,but very sad to hear.



There were other stories about boyfriends who defended their girlfriends who had got assaulted on nights out,and many had said that they wish they hadn't,as had either gotten jumped by a gang,gotten stabbed,or else ended up in court.
This was on i102 (think it was Miriam McGill).

Myself? I really don't know.
I'd like to think I would definitely help if I seen someone old getting attacked,or a woman being attacked by a man.(Not that I WOULD be much help being only about 5 foot.:) )
However if it was someone getting attacked by some well known gang/tough families from my area then I know that I would be too afraid to.
I might ring the guards or something.

Would I help a stranger in different circumstances?
Definitely.
examples: If somebody was in a crash,got knocked down had a seizure or collapsed in the street,I'm not medically trained but would rush over to see if there was anything I could do to help.

Years ago,my friends and I were at the takeaway after a night out,must have been going on 3am,and there was a girl across the road sitting on the footpath with a man beside her.
This girl was the drunkest I have ever seen anybody in my life,and don't think she could stand up.
Anyhow this man was trying to get her to come with him,and she kept saying to go away,leave her alone etc. He kept sliding his hand up her skirt and seemed a right perv.
We went over and ask was she ok,he butted in that she was fine. We said "Do you even know this fella" and she said "No,never met him before,will you tell him to go away"
He said not to heed her that she was drunk,but she insisted she didn't know him.
We crossed back over but kept an eye on her.
He waved down a taxi and tried to get her to go in,but she was too drunk and taxi drove off. He then pulled her up to her feet and proceeded to half walk/half drag her up the road(she was way too drunk to walk properly),with her mumbling something incoherent from where we stood.
I was completely freaked out by this as I really believe that she didn't know this man,and was essentially being taken away against her will.
There was some guards down the street,so we told them the story and they set of in the direction the other two had gone.
I don't know if the guards ever caught up with them,but I'd like to think that they did and got the truth about whether they knew each other or not,cos that man seemed a pervy creep.

TomCo

brendansmith wrote: »

Karma...

...is a load of bollocks.

brendansmith

TomCo wrote: »

...is a load of bollocks.

Nnnoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!! Dont say it!

as125634do

Little Acorn wrote: »

Years ago,my friends and I were at the takeaway after a night out,must have been going on 3am,and there was a girl across the road sitting on the footpath with a man beside her.
This girl was the drunkest I have ever seen anybody in my life,and don't think she could stand up.
Anyhow this man was trying to get her to come with him,and she kept saying to go away,leave her alone etc. He kept sliding his hand up her skirt and seemed a right perv.
We went over and ask was she ok,he butted in that she was fine. We said "Do you even know this fella" and she said "No,never met him before,will you tell him to go away"
He said not to heed her that she was drunk,but she insisted she didn't know him.
We crossed back over but kept an eye on her.
He waved down a taxi and tried to get her to go in,but she was too drunk and taxi drove off. He then pulled her up to her feet and proceeded to half walk/half drag her up the road(she was way too drunk to walk properly),with her mumbling something incoherent from where we stood.
I was completely freaked out by this as I really believe that she didn't know this man,and was essentially being taken away against her will.
There was some guards down the street,so we told them the story and they set of in the direction the other two had gone.
I don't know if the guards ever caught up with them,but I'd like to think that they did and got the truth about whether they knew each other or not,cos that man seemed a pervy creep.

Sweet jesus, you're a fukin great help.

Little Acorn

Just found out you can still watch this documentary" Would you save a Stranger?" on 4OD.

I didn't think 4OD worked in Ireland but it is working. Would recommend it.

The story about the 12 yr old girl on the bus is in part 3.
There's a story about a young boy attacked on a bus in part 1.

brendansmith

as125634do wrote: »

Sweet jesus, you're a fukin great help.

Well in fairness now

1. Why did she get her self in such a state
2. Why didnt her mates look after her
3. Why should she become your problem

You know?

Some of the time when you do go out of your way to help someone out you regret it. Look after number 1 (thats you)

Little Acorn

as125634do wrote: »

Sweet jesus, you're a fukin great help.

Well what the hell else could we have done?
Attack the guy?
For all we knew our suspicions could have been wrong,and the girl could have been taking the piss of us saying she didn't know him cos she was drunk,as he said he knew her well,and not to heed her.
My friends and I believed she didn't know him,but she was really drunk slurring all her words,and giggling at times so we couldn't prove anything for sure.
We told the guards and they went after them,I really don't know what else we could have done.

Kipperhell

Yes I would help somebody and have done in the past sometimes it was a real risk to myself. In truth if you don't act as part of a society you want you shouldn't really complain about what you get is my view.

I have more trouble deciding whether to say something to children who are up to no good for fear of an over-reactive parent or stranger.

Crumble Froo

depends a lot on the situation, etc. but generally ill help where i can, unless ive fair concerns for my own safety.

stovelid

I'd like to think I would, but you have to be careful. My friend feel afoul of the old cliche once: a good few years ago, he saw a guy holding a girl up against a wall by the throat, so my mate gave him a slap, but then had the girl on his case for it.

So I guess it depends on the situation. Take this for example:

http://www.independent.ie/national-news/gun-attack-may-be-connected--to-fight-in-pub-1506115.html

Pretty scary and it makes you think.

funk-you

brendansmith wrote: »

Well in fairness now

1. Why did she get her self in such a state
2. Why didnt her mates look after her
3. Why should she become your problem

You know?

Some of the time when you do go out of your way to help someone out you regret it. Look after number 1 (thats you)

What an inpiring human being you are.

I have and will help anyone out if I can. If things go wrong, they go wrong but I'm fucked if I'm going to ignore something going down because i'm a afraid something might happen like a little girl.

-Funk

WithCheesePlease

Little Acorn wrote: »

Anyhow this man was trying to get her to come with him,and she kept saying to go away,leave her alone etc. He kept sliding his hand up her skirt and seemed a right perv.

You think??

Little Acorn wrote: »

We crossed back over but kept an eye on her.
I was completely freaked out by this as I really believe that she didn't know this man,and was essentially being taken away against her will.

It sounds like this person was in desperate need of help and you just walked off and let her be. That's pretty bad. In fact it's terrible.

Theta

WithCheesePlease wrote: »

It sounds like this person was in desperate need of help and you just walked off and let her be. That's pretty bad. In fact it's terrible.

The fact you were not in the situation and that you can look at it now from a distance in an objective manner is not the same as being there at the time.

Lots of people look at things people have done in situations and gone why the **** did they do that?? When at that time in that moment you may have very well done the same thing!

Little Acorn

WithCheesePlease wrote: »

You think??



It sounds like this person was in desperate need of help and you just walked off and let her be. That's pretty bad. In fact it's terrible.

I did NOT just walk away and let her be. Did you even read my post?
Myself and my friends went over to her,and spoke with her.
After that we told the guards to follow them,and told them we thought the fella was a creep,girl was drunk etc.
The guards followed them up the road and we went home.
There were piles of people around that saw this girl and fella on the footpath,and that she was very drunk etc. and NOBODY else went over to her except my friends and me.
Some people were even laughing at how drunk she was.
We spoke with her,found the whole situation dodgy and told the guards.
What else could a person do?

Jet Black

I was walking home from a party 3 year's ago and two guy's jumped me. One had a steel bar and hit me in the head. It knocked me onto the ground as they tried to rob me. I only had my wallet but no money. They hit me again in the head and threatened me with a screwdriver for my card number. I cant remember if i told then or not because i was dazzed. Only for a guy heard me scream and came out of his house with a baseball bat and sacred them off i would have probably been killed. I had to get 24 stitches in my head and was out of work 3 month's because of it.
They were never caught and got no money from my account.
If a similar situation arose, tbh after that experience i would be too sacred to help someone by myself, I would ring the guards.
If my brother or a friend was with me i would.

helimachoptor

@ Little Acorn

Was in a similar situation a good while back.. In town one night and was headin home bumped into a guy and girl on a quiet road. She was completely f**ked and could barely stand, the guy was just like "my place is only around the corner" but she was saying "go away I dont know you" anyway I intervened they guy got a bit aggressive but tbh i was in no doubt something bad would have happened. Anyway after about half an hour another chap came along and older guy prob in his 40's and finally the leech f**ked off. A friend rang the girls phone and she came and picked her up in a taxi.

But it could have easily turned physical. In saying that there are lines that sometimes have to be crossed. In general having seen fights between BFs and GFs been broken up and the psycho women try to kill the good samaritan i stay away.

But have had the same experience as the OP, Walking home one night about 3 years ago. Only around the corner from the house an this young guy about 17 D4 head comes running up to me begging me for help cos there's 3 lads after him. Anyway the 3 lads caught up and they said they'd kick the **** out of the both of us, me having a few beers I said ok.. caught them off guard enough for me and the guy to get back near enough my house where my brother and massive dog were Would have been a diff situation if i had been far away from anything i knew.

helimachoptor

Mask wrote: »

I was walking home from a party 3 year's ago and two guy's jumped me. One had a steel bar and hit me in the head. It knocked me onto the ground as they tried to rob me. I only had my wallet but no money. They hit me again in the head and threatened me with a screwdriver for my card number. I cant remember if i told then or not because i was dazzed. Only for a guy heard me scream and came out of his house with a baseball bat and sacred them off i would have probably been killed. I had to get 24 stitches in my head and was out of work 3 month's because of it.
They were never caught and got no money from my account.
If a similar situation arose, tbh after that experience i would be too sacred to help someone by myself, I would ring the guards.
If my brother or a friend was with me i would.

Something similar happened to a mate of mine, walking home one night, 2 lads walking by him one had a brick hidden up his sleeve and smashed my mate in the side of the face and told him the mess him up if he didnt hand over money and cards and pin numbers.. he's been doing judo/boxing for about 14 years... he dropped his wallet to distract them.. i'll let your imagination do the rest

KevR

Me and a mate were sitting outside a chippy after a night out and this drunk lad comes up annoying/talking to us. A group of 5 or 6 lads were passing by minding their own business and he starts mouthing off to them. One of the lads from the group came over and gave the drunk mouthy lad a slap. The drunk lad managed to talk his way out of getting a beating and the group of lads started walking away. The drunk lad turns to me and my mate and says "ye have my back don't ye"? We told him that we didn't really. He then turns around and starts shouting abuse down the street after the gang of lads! Luckily for him they didn't come back as he would have had 6 bags of shite kicked out of him and we wouldn't have helped as it was all his own doing. If we were stupid enough to help we probably would have got a beating too, 3 of us against 6 of them..

I'd like to think I would help someone if they genuinely needed it and hadn't brought it upon themselves like that drunken fool. Depends on the circumstances though.

sean0

I'd help a stranger in trouble.I'd be smart about it at the same time.If there were a group of people kicking one person's head in I wouldn't run in and try and fight them off but i'd call the police and shout at the group letting them know and hope that they stop.
If it was a situation were a kid was been attacked or an elderly person I think I would put myself at risk to help them out because if I didn't and they ended up get seriously hurt/killed I would feel way too guilty.

Lana80

Totally depends especially when drink,drugs involved.I did something totally stupid that put myself and my unborn child in real danger.Told a drunken couple who were hassling a guy who was working on the train.He'd had an Eastern European accent and they were taking the piss.I was heavily pregnant and felt very angry at how intimidated I and everyone seemed to be.Told them to shut the f*** up.They turned on me and threatened to hit me in an aggressive manner .I was so scared.And felt real stupid for saying what I did.Noone came to help me.I should have just reported them in the first place.

SarahChambers

There is no karma, and this life is yours to enjoy any way you wish. The suffering of others is in no way a claim on your time or resources, and completely ignoring in no way makes you a bad person. Do as you wish, if that involves helping others so be it, but do not feel obligated to intervene in any situation.