Did I do the right thing?

hollis12

Op here wrote: »

Hey guys,

i wanna say thanks heaps for all your comments. i did contact him yesterday and we talked things through and it was great. He is doing fine - well as fine as can be expected after everything... I wish we could go bac to the way things were, but thats life. We have agreed to stay in contact as friends and we are both happy to do so. I feel a sense of relief as alot of the comments were very cutting but i guess i deserved that.

Thanks all & good luck.

yea be careful, you rejected him because of his problems as a girlfriend your going to really make the effort if your to be friends with him, he wont be looking for sympathy because of his past (would you?) but he would have wanted support from a girlfriend which he didnt get.

LegacyUser

hollis12 wrote: »

yea be careful, you rejected him because of his problems as a girlfriend your going to really make the effort if your to be friends with him, he wont be looking for sympathy because of his past (would you?) but he would have wanted support from a girlfriend which he didnt get.

yea thats how id see it, you were friends as bf/gf but you didn't act like a friend the only way id be friends is with you if you were my ex would be to offer to meet up with me and talk things through, you ended it because of a problem he was going through, if i was your ex and you made no effort to get the relationship back on track, i wouldnt want to know.

id be thinking well she didnt want to know when i was going out with her so if she wants to be friends me then thats tough.

LegacyUser

hollis12 wrote: »

yea be careful, you rejected him because of his problems as a girlfriend your going to really make the effort if your to be friends with him, he wont be looking for sympathy because of his past (would you?) but he would have wanted support from a girlfriend which he didnt get.

Looks like im damned if i do and im damned if i dont. i give up.

can i be frank

OP here wrote: »

Looks like im damned if i do and im damned if i dont. i give up.

NO NOT AT ALL, op you got a positive response from him! it will be hard initially, if hes a nice guy its up to him to apologize for the drinking!

you had a connection with this person that doesn't disappear over night!

my gf: you will be good friends again just keep at it if he replied he doesnt mind you texting him and if he didnt keep texting you before this hes not obsessive, maybe even in a few years youll be able to meet up and like i did with my fella above it will be fantastic with all the old woulnds healed! x

hollis12

OP here wrote: »

Looks like im damned if i do and im damned if i dont. i give up.

no listen i didnt mean to be bad about it, what i mean is you probably will be best of friends again and i really hope yous are xx

LegacyUser

Wait why danmed, i thought you got a good response, have you tried to patch things up, did you ring? Or offer to meet up, realy talk things, out, give him the chance you didnt give him before

LegacyUser

I dont mean that in a bad way, just i was in the same position with a ex aswell, the thing is she wasnt abused, im sorry to hear about your past, that should make you and your friends bond that much stronger. I just meant you should ask him not is he ok (it would sound patronising) but get that friendship back that yous had and ask was he hurt by what happend, when you pushed for the split

LegacyUser

Listen i think you did run when things went bad and from how you talk, looks like its a habit, you should give this guy another chance it would help you and him, you seem to share a past its hard to see how a bond like that could be broken when things go wrong