Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Gay/Bi-sexual men in UCD.

Options
  • 27-09-2009 9:22pm
    #1
    Cubscout
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23 ✭


    I've just started first year in UCD and forgot(and didn't want some of my friends to know) to join the LGB society.Now, as a result I know no single gay/bi-sexual men.I feel somewhat isolated because nearly all my friends in ucd are straight.Just wondering if many here are in the same situation.
    Tagged:


Comments

  • Options
    #2
    rainbow kirby
    Registered Users Posts: 26,928 ✭✭✭✭rainbow kirby


    Just come along to one of the LGBT coffee mornings if you can, there's one on tomorrow in the student centre (Meeting Room 1+2) from 12-2. You should be able to sign up there.


  • Options
    #3
    OneArt
    Registered Users Posts: 1,910 ✭✭✭OneArt


    That's kinda ironic. A chunk of my friends go to UCD and one of them claimed to have made friends with a huge group of guys... all of whom turned out to be gay.

    Just flaunt it a bit you'll be graand.


  • Options
    #4
    Nebit
    Closed Accounts Posts: 310 ✭✭Nebit


    yeah im in the same sitch. (didn join cause a m8 of mine don't know and didn want to tell him that way, im still kinda telling ppl) and didn join the year b4 that cause wasn't out at that stage, as a result, no gay m8s :(

    does ne1 know are the LGB events good in UCD? or are they cliche and just very dull?:confused:


  • Options
    #5
    Cubscout
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23 ✭Cubscout


    I haven't gone to any LGB events mainly becaue some of my friends don't know that I am gay but also I don't know what to expect.I consider myself quite masculine(I am a bear type)
    and I suppose fear of meeting really queeny guys puts me off, though I know I am being stupid about the situation.It's annoying though because I know it's a great place to meet new men, especially in the arts building (get it newman new men lol)


  • Options
    #6
    Boston
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,163 ✭✭✭✭Boston


    Cubscout wrote: »
    I consider myself quite masculine(I am a bear type)
    and I suppose fear of meeting really queeny guys puts me off, though I know I am being stupid about the situation.

    My advice to you would be to grow up and cop on. If you came to college to only meet people who where like you then it will be a complete waste of time. So what if you're not a "queen", people who are arn't bad people. You're not going to catch the "queen" off them. I'm always amazed at this attitude, you're all not straight, life is hard enough without even more divisions.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #7
    Cubscout
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23 ✭Cubscout


    Boston, I admitted I was being irrational about the whole situation, why did you feel the need to criticize.I have cop on but when you're not out to most of your friends hanging with the people from LGB (some of which are quite feminine as I have learned) isn't much of an option.Thanks for your input though.


  • Options
    #8
    cotwold
    Registered Users Posts: 950 ✭✭✭cotwold


    Although boston might seem harsh op they're right. You're not gonna meet anyone new if you dont go and nobodys gonna like you with an attitude like that. You should just go along to an event see if you like it and if not its not the end of the world.


  • Options
    #9
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I do understand what Cubscout is going through, it's a tricky situation and I suppose if there was any excuse to be short tempered that'd be it.Only advice I can give you is just go to their nights out in the george,dragon, pantibar etc.


  • Options
    #10
    Boston
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,163 ✭✭✭✭Boston


    Your straight friends arn't going to be in the society room and they're not going to be at LGBT events. Nobody is expecting you to associate with LGBT people outside of the places and event you feel comfortable being out at. Many LGBT soc members wont be out to friends,family,class mates. It's perfectly understandable and respected to act like you don't know the people you meet in the LGBT society in general college life.

    What you said is that you're afraid of meeting a "queeny" guy. Afraid to join a society because you will encounter someone not like yourself. What exactly do you expect to happen to you? Some people are headwreckers, some people aren't, its seldom split down the bear / queen line. Whatever problem you have with camp / queeny / effeminate men is just your own hangup and nothing to do with your friends.

    This hostility towards effeminate males I've never accepted as ok. I'm not effeminate and I've no desire to be so, but that's who and what they are, to already prejudge them as people you simply don't want to know is as bad as someone saying they don't want to know you just because you like boys. I cringe every time someone says to me "You're ok but I don't like those camp gays", often without having ever met one.


  • Options
    #11
    Crotchety
    Closed Accounts Posts: 693 ✭✭✭Crotchety


    Are there any transgenders/transexuals in UCD - Is it the LGB or LGBT society?


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #12
    Boston
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,163 ✭✭✭✭Boston


    It's an LGBT society. I've no idea of their membership, you can ask but I doubt they'd tell you.


  • Options
    #13
    Cubscout
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23 ✭Cubscout


    Ok, well I give up.I will head over to a meeting to try it out, I just hope there are some men there I will get along with and find attracted to.Thanks for the persuasion


  • Options
    #14
    Beruthiel
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,362 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    It helps to be open minded....


  • Options
    #15
    jady88
    Closed Accounts Posts: 185 ✭✭jady88


    Boston wrote: »
    My advice to you would be to grow up and cop on. If you came to college to only meet people who where like you then it will be a complete waste of time. So what if you're not a "queen", people who are arn't bad people. You're not going to catch the "queen" off them. I'm always amazed at this attitude, you're all not straight, life is hard enough without even more divisions.

    Didn't you just criticize someone for negativity on another thread?

    Allot of gay men who have just come out or are even still in the process of coming out feel pressured by the stereotypical "queen" image. It's hard to know who you are when on one side you feel you aren't quite the same as every other lad but on the other you know your not particularly effeminate either. It's a legitimate feeling and although Cub could have expressed it better it certainly doesn't warrant being told to "cop on".


  • Options
    #16
    cotwold
    Registered Users Posts: 950 ✭✭✭cotwold


    Cubscout wrote: »
    I feel somewhat isolated because nearly all my friends in ucd are straight.Just wondering if many here are in the same situation.

    You probably only feel isolated now because you're not out to your said friends. The vast majority of my friends are straight but i dont feel isolated from them... unless we go to coppers.


  • Options
    #17
    Boston
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,163 ✭✭✭✭Boston


    jady88 wrote: »
    Didn't you just criticize someone for negativity on another thread?

    Shrug. This isn't a case of seeing someone else is down and putting the boot in, unlike the other thread.
    jady88 wrote: »
    Allot of gay men who have just come out or are even still in the process of coming out feel pressured by the stereotypical "queen" image. It's hard to know who you are when on one side you feel you aren't quite the same as every other lad but on the other you know your not particularly effeminate either. It's a legitimate feeling and although Cub could have expressed it better it certainly doesn't warrant being told to "cop on".

    You'd have a point if he'd actually met one of these queeny guys in the club. Not going due to fear of ever meeting one isn't the same since one instance you're prejudging people and in the other your not. If next week he starts a thread bemoaning queeny headwrecking gays in UCD LGBT, there's not much I can complain about.


  • Options
    #18
    Red_Marauder
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,175 ✭✭✭Red_Marauder


    Boston wrote: »
    My advice to you would be to grow up and cop on. If you came to college to only meet people who where like you then it will be a complete waste of time. So what if you're not a "queen", people who are arn't bad people. You're not going to catch the "queen" off them. I'm always amazed at this attitude, you're all not straight, life is hard enough without even more divisions.
    You could say the same thing about joining an LGBT society. Why bother, you're gay, you'll meet other gays. This is 2009, don't burn your bra, just get on with it. You're correct, who needs more divisions?


  • Options
    #19
    Boston
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,163 ✭✭✭✭Boston


    Red_Marauder wrote: »
    You could say the same thing about joining an LGBT society. Why bother, you're gay, you'll meet other gays. This is 2009, don't burn your bra, just get on with it. You're correct, who needs more divisions?

    Maybe you'd like to explain the logic behind that abit more. I seen only an extremely tentative connection between what I said and what you've said.


Advertisement