Postgrads, what would you do in this situation?

ontheway

I completed a Masters and worked as a research assistant in an Irish University. The research group that I was affiliated with during my Masters approached me while I was a research assistant and offered me a PhD programme. I was a little concerned at the time because there was a good chance that my research interest would not be well matched by any of the currently funded projects or supervisors available in the group. I was told that something would come up and to go for it, so I did. I then spent the following 2 years working on a project in an area that had very little to do with what I was actually interested in. I kept going because I always felt that while I was still taking home a few quid I had the chance to "shop around". Then funding on that project started to run out and I put together my own research proposal for funding to one of our fine research funding agencies. My supervisor had nothing to do with the proposal, other than signing it off. I got the project and the funding, but knew that the amount of time and effort I would need to put in to it would not allow me to spend time putting further applications together down the line. In the end I got so far with the research before running out of money and I had to leave.

My attitude at the time was that my research interest never matched up with anyone I knew in the University to any significant degree. My supervisor once drunkenly said to me "I promise someday I will get in touch with your research area". I actually left the pub minutes later that evening because I was so annoyed at the stupid position I had let myself in to. I really lost all faith in my superiors and felt I had been lied to for the sake of contributing to their own funded research projects.

So now I'm out of academia and have been for a while. I'm pushing on in age and have bills to pay and feel that it would be stupid of me right now to invest time and money back in to a place that would not benefit me in the slightest, from both an academic or professional perspective. I met my former supervisor out recently and I had told him already that I wasn't coming back to the Uni for the foreseeable future (if ever). He said "I know, but sure if you're in the same city as me, I can't see why you wouldn't come in to my office for a chat". To get rid of him I said, "yeah fair enough", but I my head is reminding me that it would only be for his benefit and not mine. I don't want to be rude, but I don't feel like I owe this person anything and that they are just trying to intimidate me and get me to return to a place to do work that will only serve them in the end.

I am still interested in my research. There is nothing I could have done at my desk in the University that I can't do at home. It's not like I had a supervisor or colleagues that I could bounce ideas off or discuss my research with. My supervisor never even handed me a paper and said "read this". It was a bad dynamic and unfortunately it took me a long time to accept that it was not working. As far as I'm concerned my research is between my two ears and it will come with me where ever I go, even if that means to another research group or University.

Christ, academia is a funny place. Should I just keep my stance, that I'm not interested in going back to that group, or should I meet with them so they can nose in to the life I have made for myself since I left.

prettygurrly

Unfortunately you've had 1st hand experience of what its like in the private sector ALL THE TIME. Unless there's no other University near by, look for work else where and forget all the crap you went through. You've probably gained excellent knowledge and an intuition of supervisors and future employers etc.

Or go back but be firm as to what you want...