Pretentious Prose: Game Review Styles

johnny_ultimate

Gummy Panda wrote: »

Kotaku feels like "The Sun" of games journalism. I can't stand them sometimes, especially the racist crap over scribblenauts.

You know while I am a daily reader of Kotaku, that Scribblenauts nonsense was indeed farcical. Honestly, a feature on the history of the word Sambo??? It was like that joke in Father Ted - "a pull out supplement on whistles". They do occasionally lapse into tabloid journalism, but their slightly carefree editorial style for the most part is a refreshing alternative that really doesn't feel like they are working on any other agenda than their own. Their was this time they leaked some Sony related news (think it might have been the Home announcement?) before they were meant to, just because Sony had some bull**** policy in place concerning embargos. Good to see some game journalists have a bit of a backbone (the Jeff Gerstmann / Kane & Lynch thing with Gamespot was another) as so many just seem content with subpar, commercially sponsored 'journalism'. But the Scribblenauts thing was out of line, a non-story blowing a non-issue out of any proportion.

speedboatchase

L31mr0d wrote: »

This is true of all forms of journalism. Depending on the writer they will have a greater knowledge of words so will be able to use ones that are fittingly more appropriate. It's usually fairly obvious to spot someone who's sesquipedalian as the verbose use of certain words will seem distinctly out of place, and usually the syntax could of been more effectively expressed with shorter more succinct phrases and words.

Personally, I never read Game reviews (even though I write my own from time to time :pac:) I'll usually just watch the video reviews on Gametrailers.

Yes, I looked up "sesquipedalian". That's hilarious that the term for someone using long-winded terms is itself a long-winded term. I find Edge's reviews too sterile and prefer Games tm's mix of Eurogamer creativeness with CVG's brass tacks approach, although their recent scores scream of "look at us everyone, we're controversial!"

Retr0gamer

Yet more self congratulatory wankery from eurogamer:

http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/gridrunner-revolution-article

Fluuuffy Sheeepy!" drones the eighties synth-box voice as, two minutes into the current level, I collect my 12th upgrade-sheep. The frequent repetition has me parroting the voice after the event, trying to perfect the tone and timbre. But this is no time to pause and feel daft. I'm way too busy strafing waves of procedurally generated sprites with artful, calligraphic sprays of fire from my ship's cannons. Gridrunner Revolution keeps you so very busy manipulating its physical laws and countering the varied approaches of its baddies, you can't really give the infectious ambient soundscape your undivided attention - you just have to sit there and let it do things to you
.....
At its quietest, it merely threatens to explode. At its most frenetic, it's a nuclear soup of pulsing colours, particle effects and alien soundscapes that thrill and engross in equal measure, with every level a perfect two-minute pop-song of rapidly intensifying effects.
....
The right ship-type at the correct orientation firing at the right angle near a black hole can set up dizzying eddies of destruction; streams of fire that turn into complete loops, or double back on themselves in figure-of-eight patterns, or wazz around in the sort of delightful curlicues and treble-clefs you might see on Mozart's scratch-pad after a night on the laudanum.

Jazzy

oh god

Burning Eclipse

Retr0gamer wrote: »

Ellie Gibson is the best features and review writer Eurogamer have and her stuff can hardly to called high brow. However anytime I see a really bad, boring or average game on eurogamer you can be sure it's her writing it and you can be sure it's a very enjoyable read no matter how disinterested you are in the review.

I want to marry her.

Did you read her interview with Mark Rein from Epic... Fantastic stuff

Agricola

Ellie Gibson quote from "Velvet Assassin" review:

"Violette appears to have attended the same finishing school as Lara Croft; she talks with the same plum in her mouth and wears outfits designed to make you want to put your plums in her mouth"

Gotta love a woman with a mind like that!

Retr0gamer

Burning Eclipse wrote: »

Did you read her interview with Mark Rein from Epic... Fantastic stuff

All her interviews are great. Her one with Gemma Atkinson while she was filming for command and conquer was more a girly chat than an interview but no less brilliant.

The video of her singing all the barry manilow songs on singstar is pretty hilarious as well.

0ubliette

Not jut pimpin my blog, but the recent EG review of wolfenstein was so bad i had to write a review of that review. ****ing shambolic that site is. It seemed to start with their braid review and went downhill from there

Retr0gamer

It started well before the Braid review.

TBH they do have some good writers it's just that some of the contributors are that way or just untrustworthy giving gushing praise to undeserving games that just reeks of fanboyance or possibly being bought off.

Dont be at yourself

At the end of the day, it's easier to write a few thousand words if you're saying that a game in incredible than it is to do the same for a middle of the road review. Hence every game is hyped up with the most flowery of language.

johnny_ultimate

On the note of hyperbole riddled game reviews, New Yorker had a funny satire of it (via Kotaku):

http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/cartoonlounge/2009/09/beatles-rock-band-times.html

The new Nintendo video game Duck Hunt is a game about hunting ducks, right? Wrong! It is so much more. In this deep, rich cultural narrative, we are the ducks and society the gun. Simply try to lift the pistol to the screen and you will have an existential crisis of conscience. Why kill? Is it because we are told to? Or is it because we are designed to? This video game has bested Nietzsche and trumped Sarte, all within the confines of its tiny plastic cartridge.

Retr0gamer

Here's how it should be done:

http://www.gamespite.net/toastywiki/index.php/Games/45-Persona3