Stupidest Facebook status visible right now

newmills

**** loves watching paul in the babies room getting things ready can't wait to make him a daddy and us a family


You have no idea how much i want to get on a plane to england to donkey punch my ugly bint of a cousin who has kept us informed of her pregnancy every day for the last 8 months (including pics of her bump)!!

Carsinian Thau

newmills wrote: »

**** loves watching paul in the babies room getting things ready can't wait to make him a daddy and us a family


You have no idea how much i want to get on a plane to england to donkey punch my ugly bint of a cousin who has kept us informed of her pregnancy every day for the last 8 months (including pics of her bump)!!

Just hide her status updates.

Proxy

I would advice any one to watch 2012 it's amazing film...

Goin 2 see Snow Patrol 2nite n no work 2moro! Yea!!

Fairness...

Sir Gallagher

"Gonna have a fight later with that Paki Amir Khan i think even i could do better than that gob-****e lasting 76 seconds?????and he calls himself a pro???"

Charming.

yayamark

newmills wrote: »

**** loves watching paul in the babies room getting things ready can't wait to make him a daddy and us a family


You have no idea how much i want to get on a plane to england to donkey punch my ugly bint of a cousin who has kept us informed of her pregnancy every day for the last 8 months (including pics of her bump)!!

Ha i think you should Google the words Donkey Punch and come back to us again.

CiaranC

lol i dont think donkey punch means what you think it means

laoisforliam

newmills wrote: »

**** loves watching paul in the babies room getting things ready can't wait to make him a daddy and us a family


You have no idea how much i want to get on a plane to england to donkey punch my ugly bint of a cousin who has kept us informed of her pregnancy every day for the last 8 months (including pics of her bump)!!

Thats Hawt

CHD

I got droped off at d apartment lst nite on d taxi, got upstairs nd went in2 d apartment sat down wnt in2 the kitchen got a beer nd started watchin tv, i finished my beer went in 2 get another one nd sat down, i looked around me and realised....... when did we get brown sofa's and realised i wasnt in d right apartment, wot the fuk like!!

lol drinkaments

Lia_lia

"so constipated its unreal!!"


Eh, yeah.

Blazer

Anyone that asks me to be a friend I accept straightaway...hell even one day I asked everyone on the planet with my name to be my friend...
of course once they became friends with me they just had to add all my friends...and so on and so on

It even got to the stage where people was asking me who the fúck this guy/gal was?
"how the fúck do i know" says I..I just add these ppl for the laugh so they can spam the hell out of everyone on facebook...it's not like i even use the bloody thing...maybe once a month at most
serves those weener facebook losers right

bluto63

'***** does not wanna go out'

Then don't and stop complaining about it to us

beauty101

"It's Christmas!"....no sh*t!

"*NAME* is so bored" who the hell cares???

"I fuxing hate facebook".......then why are u on it? Delete ur account u idiot!

Brendygg

wtf?

"june 5 09 was d date promise 2 u babygirl dat im ere 2 stay neva wana hurt u neva wana leave u alone cuz witout u by myside baby i aint realy at home

id cros da dessert 2 b wer u are al the tinz id do 2 be close 2 u a million milez wudnt seem dat far id go anywhere just 2 win ur heart

hey baby i love you its me n u 4eva n always reminiscing bout al the things dat we did dis loves all bout u n me den im gona wife u"

"im gonna wife u"???

GrahamThomas

Brendygg wrote: »

wtf?

"june 5 09 was d date promise 2 u babygirl dat im ere 2 stay neva wana hurt u neva wana leave u alone cuz witout u by myside baby i aint realy at home

id cros da dessert 2 b wer u are al the tinz id do 2 be close 2 u a million milez wudnt seem dat far id go anywhere just 2 win ur heart

hey baby i love you its me n u 4eva n always reminiscing bout al the things dat we did dis loves all bout u n me den im gona wife u"

"im gonna wife u"???

I weep for humanity sometimes

tech77

Brendygg wrote: »

wtf?

"june 5 09 was d date promise 2 u babygirl dat im ere 2 stay neva wana hurt u neva wana leave u alone cuz witout u by myside baby i aint realy at home

id cros da dessert 2 b wer u are al the tinz id do 2 be close 2 u a million milez wudnt seem dat far id go anywhere just 2 win ur heart

hey baby i love you its me n u 4eva n always reminiscing bout al the things dat we did dis loves all bout u n me den im gona wife u"

"im gonna wife u"???

It's almost impossible to believe that that's not a parody.
But it obviously isn't.
I also weep for humanity.
I really do.

almostnever

Lbε anything but happy. So kiss slowly, lovε dεεply, and forgivε quickly. Takε chancεs, givε εvεrything, havε no rεgrεts, and forgεt the bad in the past. Just rεmεmbεr what all it tought you.

Ew.


Another girl:

im not anitsoshul your jus a dick lol

I hate people from my old school

Kiith

GrahamThomas wrote: »

I weep for humanity sometimes

I gave up on humanity a long time ago. Let it die i say.

bronte

Brendygg wrote: »

wtf?

"june 5 09 was d date promise 2 u babygirl dat im ere 2 stay neva wana hurt u neva wana leave u alone cuz witout u by myside baby i aint realy at home

id cros da dessert 2 b wer u are al the tinz id do 2 be close 2 u a million milez wudnt seem dat far id go anywhere just 2 win ur heart

hey baby i love you its me n u 4eva n always reminiscing bout al the things dat we did dis loves all bout u n me den im gona wife u"

"im gonna wife u"???

What the fcuk??

Papillon!

"8 days, taadaa."

i hate these updates, at least let us know what its 8 days until!

RonMexico

Whats with all the status updates from women since yesterday that just mention a colour like Black and Purple ???

ArcadeFred

It's their bra colour apparently :rolleyes:

pikachucheeks

ArcadeFred wrote: »

It's their bra colour apparently :rolleyes:

Yup.

Apparently, women were sent round emails yesterday encouraging them to do it.

Loads of guys I know started retaliating with eh... numbers then!

Sulmac

pikachucheeks wrote: »

Loads of guys I know started retaliating with eh... numbers then!

Size, my dear, size.

pikachucheeks

Sulmac wrote: »

Size, my dear, size.

Oh, I know. I figured people could determine that!

One guy I know wrote "26" ... Speaking in millimeters, I'm guessing.

Bill-e

Does anyone want this Danish that came free with my coffee this morning?

And that's my status...

Basq

If da sea was weed n i was a duck, I would swim to da bottom n smoke my way up. But da seas not weed n I'm not a duck so pack me a bong n shut da f*ck up!!!"

I need new friends!

Vim Fuego

"Mary Falsename"* is so sick to my stomach right now...I know enlightenment can have no earthly attachments but transperancy is a wrenching experience I never expected

*name changed to protect the pretentious

Wannabe writer I met last year. Don't quit the day job love.

ibarelycare

********** Is anyone else having problems getting into their farm today??????

No, this isn't some poor farmer put out by the bad weather. It's some d-bag who can't get into her Farmville farm. She posted another status asking someone to check if her crops were ok.

seamus

ibarelycare wrote: »

No, this isn't some poor farmer put out by the bad weather. It's some d-bag who can't get into her Farmville farm. She posted another status asking someone to check if her crops were ok.

You should respond saying that you checked in, but the snow has killed all her crops, she's now bankrupt and the bank is coming around to take possession of her house.

whodoo

im so happy i never set up a facebook


http://www.theonion.com/content/statshot/why_arent_we_on_facebook