What do you read on the toilet?

giftgrub

If i'm at home its a book, right now i'm cr***ing my way through The Silver Swan by Benjamin Black

But in work i tend to print stuff out from the papers or sutes like Slate or Salon

We get newspapers where i work, somepeople bring them in when theyre going for a sit down, i think thats disgusting....

If I'm stuck i'll read a shampoo bottle, or look up something on my phone

Any thoughts on crapper reading material?

cuppa

reading this.

Captain Havoc

4-4-2 or a book ("In search of Robert Millar" at the mo)

okioffice84

Shampoo bottles

WIZE

I normally read the back of Shampoo bottles or Shaving cream or what ever I can find . Shower gel is quite interesting

messrs

magazine or play my DS :eek:

Sea Sharp

The bible. It can also be used for toilet paper.
(Stephen busting tip)

Bumble32

Surf the web:D

Long Onion

I arrange the hair on my thighs into a neat French plait.

Prof.Badass

I only shit when i need to. I never understood this thing of sitting on the toilet for 5 minutes, aren't there better things you could be doing with your time .

Theta

vinylmesh wrote: »

I only shit when i need to. I never understood this thing of sitting on the toilet for 5 minutes .

Yeah same, out in 2 mins.

civis_liberalis

I don't read on the toilet. I find it a weird thing to do.

AnonoBoy

vinylmesh wrote: »

I only shit when i need to. I never understood this thing of sitting on the toilet for 5 minutes, aren't there better things you could be doing with your time .

5 minutes? You've got to be kidding me lad.

A good 10 every morning is the only healthy option.

petes

Whatever comes to hand. Be it soap or toothpaste. I don't purposely bring something to read when I go to the bog!

Captain Havoc

vinylmesh wrote: »

I only shit when i need to. I never understood this thing of sitting on the toilet for 5 minutes, aren't there better things you could be doing with your time .

Like what? Sometimes I even stay on the jacks to finish the page, article or chapter I'm reading.

orourkeda

I usually read the toilet paper after i'm done. God only knows what you'd find on that.

orourkeda

giftgrub wrote: »

If i'm at home its a book, right now i'm cr***ing my way through The Silver Swan by Benjamin Black

But in work i tend to print stuff out from the papers or sutes like Slate or Salon

We get newspapers where i work, somepeople bring them in when theyre going for a sit down, i think thats disgusting....

If I'm stuck i'll read a shampoo bottle, or look up something on my phone

Any thoughts on crapper reading material?

Was this your attempt at a pun?

Aidric

101 Greatest Dumps.

NothingMan

I usually play word warp on my iPhone, or check facebook.
I always hate sitting down for a constitutional and realising my iPhone is downstairs. I've already read every bottle of product in the bathroom.

Although I used to have a book called the Big Toilet reader, it had thousands of articles of all different lengths for the amount of time you'll be in there. Learned lots of random stuff from that one.

demag

Boards.ie on the phone. Can be in there for ages if I find a good thread.

FlutterinBantam

Wouldn't read much, just clean out the bell butter off me todger with whatever toothbrush is handy.

Lux23

Nothing. I would never be in there that long, the idea of people reading in the bog appalls me.

cornbb

iPhone - it'll change the way you sh*t forever. They don't say it in the ads but every iPhone owner will tell you this.

Diabhal Beag

It takes me 2 minutes to **** at most. That's not long enough to read anything

Archeron

Homer Simpsons book of wisdom. Read it hundreds of times, but its good jax material.

phasers

I keep several books and magazines in the crapper which I update weekly.


It's a little thing called hospitality, look it up some time you guys

I just look at pictures

rainbowdrop

I tend to read 'Viz' magazine whilst on the bowl. Love the 'Reader's Top Tips' section. My favourite include -

- Increase blind people's electricity bills, by turning on all their lights when their guide dogs are not looking!

- Motorists! I find that pressing the break pedal when approaching a bend helps to slow your vehicle down.

Or my favourite tip EVER:

- Parents! Child choking to death on an ice cube? DON'T PANIC! Simply pour a jug of boiling water down it's throat, and the blockage
will be dislodged immediately.

:D

Don't know about Viz helping me to s***, but I would certainly be p***ing myself whilst reading it!!

Agricola

Its hard to sh!te, fap and read all at once. Somethins gotta give and its usually reading

BrokenArrows

how long do you people spend on the toilet ffs.

Im never in there long enough to have time to read anything. I only go to the toilet when there is an immanent chance of crapping myself. So once my cheeks hit the seat there is no waiting around. haha.

phlegms

How can you multi-task like that?!?
If I do both at once my head will melt...

callaway92

the thickness of my poo

Sephiroth_dude

Pc gamer or Pc zone are both good reads while on the crapper .

Steyr

ZOO Magazine, what every fella should read on the crapper.

wolfric

So people seriously still read **** on the loo? (no pun intended) sit down, do your **** and get out

barnacle

Normally sickipedia on the iphone.

NothingMan

Steyr wrote: »

ZOO Magazine, what every fella should read on the crapper.

Then you'll end up with a horn and you'll piss all over the shop!

GLaDOS

I read in my own time, I like to be able to enjoy it

rednik

If we're talking major dump well then it has to be the sunday times otherwise probably the sky magazine.

mattfender

texts of course

AckwelFoley

i normally text my fiance down stairs and tell her my arse will soon be ready for the royal wipe

Elliemental

civis_liberalis wrote: »

I don't read on the toilet. I find it a weird thing to do.

That, and it can`t be hygienic. You`d end up with loo bugs all over your books/mags etc.

Mint Sauce

usally Q or 442

AckwelFoley

Elliemental wrote: »

That, and it can`t be hygienic. You`d end up with loo bugs all over your books/mags etc.

Cant be any harm to read The Sun on the toilet. Its already covered in shyte

sky88

i play the games on my phone good old snake and bounce

Cian92

Uncle John's Great Big Bathroom Reader

Tis great has different length article, depending on how long you stay there.

citizen_p

i dont read.....not enogh time......

i go in.... sit... do my business and whip then wash.........

if i want to read i do it sitting on a couch ffs





/edit i realise how stupid that sounds now and im tempted to quote myself and say ewww... you **** on your couch

Corkfeen

War and Peace, have it finished by the end of the day.

FunnyStuff

brilliant thread, nearly pissed myself.....

rednik

Actually its not its a CRAP thread.:p

Man_bear_pig

a good 10 to 20 mins needed. usually an episode of family guy or the simpsons does the job