So how much do you spend on Santa?

big syke

Tim Robbins wrote: »

I was in Ikea last night and they had some lovely teddies.

Ye but she has a load of them from relatives etc....ah il have a look closer to the time me thinks...

Khannie

Tim Robbins wrote: »

Of course but it's quite easy to instill a sense of ethics. All it's takes is a bit of proactivity.

Eh....can you hop down off that high horse there. Why would you assume that I don't instil a sense of ethics or that I'm not proactive?

Tim Robbins wrote: »

Ultimately, people hate challenging themselves and thinking critically.

What a load of rubbish. As a professional fighter, father of 2 (3rd on the way) and full time top notch geek I can almost guarantee you that I challenge myself more than you do, day in, day out. I love challenging myself in every way.

Tim Robbins wrote: »

Eh - tone down on the insults to yourself please.
If you don't like challenging questions, fair enough but please don't dismiss those of us who do.

:rolleyes:

What question are you even talking about anyway?

You assume I'm not instilling ethics in my child because I'm not getting them to give me a presentation on sweat shops when they ask me for Nike runners. Rubbish. I just do it differently to you. You have to accept that your way of instilling morals in your children is more than a little bit "out there". Let me put this to you: Did your parents make you give them a presentation on sweat shops when you wanted nice runners? If not, where did you get those lofty morals from? You think your ethics are above the rest of us in some way, but how were they instilled in you?

Your TV's from 1997, but how many childrens lives could you have saved if you hadn't bought it? What about that car you have? How many childrens lives is that worth? Had a holiday since you got up on that high horse? Ouchies....that's a lot of suffering you could have saved, no? Wallpaper on your wall? More than one pair of shoes? and so on, and so on.

There's some challenging questions for you.

You needn't respond on a point by point basis to those questions. They're rhetorical. The point I'm making is that you _definitely_ buy things that you don't _need_ and that you could have used the money that you spent on things that you didn't _need_ to save a childs life but chose not to. We all do it. Is the world fair? nope. Do I disagree with your way of instilling ethics? Yep. Do you disagree with mine? Who knows. You've no idea how I instil ethics so stop making assumptions about how I do it. Thanks.

Tim Robbins wrote: »

I see no creative ideas from any of you. It's easy to just laugh at those of us who are going to make an effort.

I haven't put forward or discussed how I instil ethics. You're assuming I'm not making an effort because you do and I disagree with how you do it.

IsThatSo?

Tim Robbins wrote: »

Ok you're all different. I would love if my parents gave me the opportunity and encouraged me to do presentations.

I can't believe such a simple idea freaks you all out. But there you go.

You've hit the nail on the head here Tim Yes, we are all different, both as parents now, and as children when we were that age. You may very well have loved it (looking at it with adult eyes you can see the positives), who knows, maybe as a stroppy teenager you might have liked it too lol.

You just have to go with the flow for each child/household, this is really what everyone is saying. I don't see anyone getting freaked out here only you. I have been reading and posting here for a considerable time and find the posters to be sensible, practical and non-judgemental. All I see anyone doing here is trying to help you understand that its preferable that you not build a wall around the rock you have climbed (and may perish on!!).

Children do not always do what we expect them to do. I always see my children as individuals, people who are just a bit smaller than me They have personalities, like and dislikes and those preferences don't always match mine.

Your baby will be here soon? Believe me, his/her personality will be there, right from the start, you will really enjoy discovering hhis/her ways

TBH, having seen another thread you started about Santa, it seems that you are not really interested in hearing what others think, or have put into practice. Its appears that you just want to spar.
____________________________________________________________
Well, thats me drawing a line under it and ending my involvement;) I have no interest in sparring.



Speaking of sparring..................WTG Khannie on your third Better get the coffee stocks up, oh wait, 2 hands, 3 kids....................Mrs Khannie will have to hold it for you (the coffee, not the baby)

Kimono-Girl

Tim Robbins wrote: »

500! Crikey. Would you accept most people can't afford that?

no! it is not alot because most parents know Christmas comes once a year, and most parents love their children enough to want to give them the world, and thus start saving in january, be it €5 or €10 a week you'd easily save €500...

eviltwin

Having read the posts on this and the other thread on this board about Santa I wonder if the OP really understands what its like to be a parent?

I think its great you want to instill a sense of social conscience in your future kids. Its a hell of a lot better than having a bunch of materialistic brats running around the place.

But why do you want to have kids in the first place if you're not going to let them share in what is one of the most wonderful parts of childhood? No one is saying you have to spoil your kids but you can treat them from time to time and not feel guilty about it. Buying your child a toy or taking them out somewhere just for the sake of it isnt going to ruin them, its not going to make them selfish and its not going to make life any worse for the less fortunate.

You have to remember that there is a time and a place for everything. By all means encourage them to look at the bigger picture but don't allow that to take away their childhood which is pretty damn short as it is. Kids need to be kids - time enough to teach them social responsibility when they hit secondary school.

deisemum

I think a lot of people behave as if they're child "experts" until they have children and then once they become parents it's a whole different ball game.

eviltwin

deisemum wrote: »

I think a lot of people behave as if they're child "experts" until they have children and then once they become parents it's a whole different ball game.

Totally agree with you there. You can't learn how to be a parent from a book..you learn on the job as you go, its the only way

Tim Robbins

You assume I'm not instilling ethics in my child because I'm not getting them to give me a presentation on sweat shops when they ask me for Nike runners. Rubbish. I just do it differently to you. You have to accept that your way of instilling morals in your children is more than a little bit "out there". Let me put this to you: Did your parents make you give them a presentation on sweat shops when you wanted nice runners? If not, where did you get those lofty morals from? You think your ethics are above the rest of us in some way, but how were they instilled in you?

What the hell is everyone's problem?

I throw out an idea which gives an opportunity for a child to think and everyone here goes crazy.

By giving them the opportunity to present their thoughts, ideas and encouraging them to think about it. That's all I am saying.

I don't get why this freaks you all out.

Your TV's from 1997, but how many childrens lives could you have saved if you hadn't bought it? What about that car you have? How many childrens lives is that worth? Had a holiday since you got up on that high horse? Ouchies....that's a lot of suffering you could have saved, no? Wallpaper on your wall? More than one pair of shoes? and so on, and so on.

Read Peter Singer's 'The Life you can Safe'. It's a lot more challenging.

You needn't respond on a point by point basis to those questions. They're rhetorical. The point I'm making is that you _definitely_ buy things that you don't _need_ and that you could have used the money that you spent on things that you didn't _need_ to save a childs life but chose not to. We all do it. Is the world fair? nope. Do I disagree with your way of instilling ethics? Yep. Do you disagree with mine? Who knows. You've no idea how I instil ethics so stop making assumptions about how I do it. Thanks.

I don't know what your ethics are or how you came to them. What philosopher would best represent your view?

Cheers.

Eoineo

So back On Topic!

Historically what we spent on Santa didn't have a limit. That's not to say that we meant mental but because we didn't but normally would have spent about €200.

This year things are considerably tighter. We're looking at a budget of €150 per child but if we can get the items for cheaper and save more we will. Mind you the fridge is on it's last legs so at this rate of going Santa will be bringing a new household appliance.

It's amazing how inventive you become for presents on a tight budget.

pickarooney

Eoineo wrote: »

It's amazing how inventive you become for presents on a tight budget.

And that's really what I think is the main thing that's missing in so many present lists - inventiveness. I find it a bit depressing that the majority of kids seem to be getting the same junk - iPods and consoles and the like. Surely a unique, thoughtful present would mean much more to your child?

Hellrazer

Tim Robbins wrote: »

No-one wants to spoil their kids. No-one wants to admit they spoil their kids.
But yet we all know people who spoil their kids. It all comes down to what we think is reasonable and why we think it is reasonable.

Had to respond to that one.Ive no problem spoiling my kids and will glady admit to it.

Most people value their own happiness above all else. This includes the misery of others, especially people they never have to see or feel guilty about.

Yep I do value my own happiness and my kids happiness.Yeah and its sometimes at the expense of others.Im probably only saying what others are thinking here but my motto has always been to look after myself and my family first and whatever is left Ill share around.

I'd like to bring my kids up with broader world views and teach them to question things. That doesn't mean shoving their faces in misery but just having a deeper appreciation of life and thinking a bit more about what is going on rather than just throwing more toys at them.

Bringing kids up with "broader world views" doesnt mean asking them to do something everything the want something.Like your example with the Nike runners--Id never ask my kids to do anything like that.
This year they will all pick one gift which will be given to a charity.Thats our way of instilling good values in them.And you know how I can tell Im doing a good job of it?Becasue in May when I was made redundant our 2 oldest actually said they didnt want anything from Santa until we could afford it.Thankfully it didnt come to that but it shows that something is getting through to them.

we'llallhavetea_old

Hellrazer wrote: »

Had to respond to that one.Ive no problem spoiling my kids and will glady admit to it.



Yep I do value my own happiness and my kids happiness.Yeah and its sometimes at the expense of others.Im probably only saying what others are thinking here but my motto has always been to look after myself and my family first and whatever is left Ill share around.



Bringing kids up with "broader world views" doesnt mean asking them to do something everything the want something.Like your example with the Nike runners--Id never ask my kids to do anything like that.
This year they will all pick one gift which will be given to a charity.Thats our way of instilling good values in them.And you know how I can tell Im doing a good job of it?Becasue in May when I was made redundant our 2 oldest actually said they didnt want anything from Santa until we could afford it.Thankfully it didnt come to that but it shows that something is getting through to them.

+1!
kids are amazing aren't they? my little one was so shocked when she got a wii for her birthday, she said "but mammy, where did you ever find the money for this?"!!
i know my daughter is spoiled but she doesn't act spoiled. if i say "no" to her she just accepts it.

Tim Robbins

Tim Robbins wrote: »

500! Crikey. Would you accept most people can't afford that?

I don't worry about what other people can afford. I worry about what I can afford.

My dd is my only child, so yes, I can probably splurge more on her than someone who has two or three kids, and I love spoiling her at Christmas. She doesn't get much the rest of the year.

I'd willingly pay a thousand for the look on her face when she opens the door and turns on the light and sees that Santa has come...

They have all their lives to be "ethical". Let them be kids. My dd is 13 this year so Santa is finished. It doesn't last long, so enjoy it while you can.

ebmma

I think there's a difference between spoiling and being spoiled. First implies that it is an occasional thing the second implies it being a defining personality trait.

I think people seem to be confusing the two.

shakespeare

i have my own philosophy...and here it is....

...take care of your child...give them as much of your time as they want and as you can muster...love them as much as is humanly possible and make them happy in whatever way you can as the "world" will handle the rest...what constitutes happiness to them will be determined in large by what they soak up from you day to day - consciously and sub-consciously. so if you are a decent human being, for the most part un-frivolous and feet placed firmly on the ground...then your child will follow not to far behind...and their happiness wont depend soley on ipods or knowing who made them.

shakespeare

This is a reposting of the above post which was edited due to sections of it being off topic and derailing the thread with speculations about another poster. Shakespeare then choose to repost the sections which had been removed and had been banned for a week for doing so. Any comment on this mod action can be made via pm, helpdesk or feedback. Thaedydal

pickarooney

ebmma wrote: »

I think there's a difference between spoiling and being spoiled. First implies that it is an occasional thing the second implies it being a defining personality trait.

I think people seem to be confusing the two.

I don't agree. I think there's a difference between treating and spoiling though and spoiling is often used wrongly, as though it were something positive.

nesf

150ish. Maybe 200 if we're feeling lavish. He's 3, he'll be delighted to get a fire engine and maybe a new dvd or two. He'll get enough spoiling from his grandparents tbh, only grandchild on both sides.

Yes we could afford a lot more than that, no I don't feel in anyway bad or guilty for not spending more. You reap what you sow, if you start giving a kid 500 quids worth of presents they'll be disappointed the next year if you can only afford 100. We've a second due just before Christmas so next year the number will start multiplying.

Making your kids give a presentation if they want a pair of runners seems like a great way to give them a complex. My granny never gave us any presents - we were told the money was being donated to orphans in Romania, which was never a problem for us. She never made it into a big deal or made us feel guilty for what we did get, we were simply aware of kids in another country being worse off than ourselves and were happy to help them. We also did the 'shoebox presents' every year in primary school for kids in Bosnia. So we were aware that many kids were worse off, and we were grateful for our presents, but we weren't made to feel bad for getting new runners or a bike. I do think it's great not to spoil your kids - I hate going over my auntie's house on Christmas Day and watching her kids trash their new Wii or whatever they got - but there is a happy medium. I don't know if anyone has seen the film 'Mommie Dearest' about Joan Crawford, but she used to donate all but one of her kids' presents to charity, and it just came across as coldhearted and mean. Sure, teach them about poverty and homelessness as they grow up, but let them have a few years of innocence and fun first! Don't give them a guilt complex.

ebmma

Only bought presents for nephews and nieces so far and it costs us 100-200 in total for 8 kids.
We usually try to find out (if we don't know already) if they are into anything specific at the moment).

e.g. my niece loves butterflies and fairies and we got her a very nicely illustrated butterfly book and glittery stickers. It didn't cost much at all and she obviously got some use out of the present coz I saw her sketches of the butterflies from that book months afterwards.

There some really cool toys that cost under 20 and kids love them. (Toy trucks are my favourite! )
Art supplies are also always appreciated if kids are into drawing..
Sets of "learn how to..." or "make your own.." is another thing that tends to cost not too much but they like.

I don't really know how much is going to be spent on our son's presents when he arrives, but doubt it'll be anything like 200.. unless it's something like a bike, but it won't be relevant for a few years.

apsalar

Am amazed at people spending over 250 on one child christmas...but maybe I'm just mean:P

I haven't even thought about Christmas, let alone started shopping. Is that bad? I never do any shopping till December 2nd or thereabouts cos it just doesn't feel christmasy enough for me. I like shopping with all the x-mas muzak and tinsel and things in the windows.

Growing up it was always a more family/ religious thing and I have really good memories of family times, not so much the presents cos that was for birthdays so I try to let my son know the same. He'll probably get a few movies that he's been banging on about seeing again(ben 10 movie, some disney classics), the new (old) buzz lightyear from smyths, a game for his nintendo ds and lots of stocking fillers (hot wheels, some action figurines and the like).

he's only five anyway so I thinkabout 120 should do it

eviltwin

I dont thing the amount really comes into it myself

I have a 12 year old who just wants technology nowadays so I have no issue spending a bit of money on something like a Wii or a decent phone. Its just one item so I don't really see it as spoiling her

I remember when she was little me and her dad had very little money so I would try and make up for it by getting her lots of little things. I doubt I ever spent more than 100 quid but looking back on it, it looked awful..gift after gift after gift being handed to her and thats before her aunts and uncles came over...

This year I've gotten her a ticket to see her favourite band in December...total cost about 90 euros. Might throw a tee shirt in the mix on the day as well so about 120 - 130 altogether

I personally think in this day and age thats a lot of money and she knows she's lucky to get it.

Tipp Mum

I have 3 children, 10, 8 and 7 . We don't set a specific amount for spending on Santa but when they're writing their santa wish list they note the cost of items on their draft. In our house this helps as Mum and Dad send money to santa for their presents! They don't get separate presents from us as " Santa makes better choices " Usually the cost is E300 ish per child . It was significantly cheaper when they were younger.

Heleboo

Golly, the amount everyone spends varies a bit! My little man is 3 on sunday, I spent weeks worrying what to get him as this is my first year as a single parent, and it all falls to me - there won't be presents from the other side. I had to sit down and tell myself to cop on! Was planning a big party and loads of gifts until I realised he's THREE!! Asked him what he wanted and got it, and the cheap version at that!
Last Christmas seen 40 gifts under the tree for himself, and by new year alot was broken! After that I said no more. Have decided between my present to him and Santa presents I'll spend no more than €120. Am at a loss what to get him yet though! Have a bonus coming through this pay day so will be getting it then - gives me 2 months to convince him that is what he wants
It is tough being on my own, because I don't want him to miss out at all, but as my mother says - I have a roof over his head,a car under his bum, clean clothes and food to eat, he's hardly missing out!
Our family have decided to limit gift costs to €20 at most this year too, is simply a case that so many of us just haven't got it.

miss no stars

Tim Robbins,


Just so ya know, there was this 1 kid in my class the whole way through school, from junior infants to 6th year that was raised by parents that sound like you. She went off her face on drugs and alcohol because she never knew guilt free happyness (as everything was always at the expense of something else).
She never had what we had and god love her, she always put on a brave face that she had horrible runners or the same old school bag she had the previous year because her parents said they were still functional and replacing them was bad for someone else in the developing world.

And I'm not just talking materialistic here - she didn't HAVE enough stuff for her going nuts to be based on that. I remember doing homework at her house around 5th class and she asked a spelling - I told her it and I got given out to because she has to "look it up in a dictionary and stop being lazy as she'll learn more that way". God, at 12 years old and in 1st year of school she was being sent to french grinds because she didn't get 100% in her 1st year french exam and her parents were "showing her better ways to study and teaching her good work ethics".

Well and good trying to install ethics into kids but you have to remember, kids are just that - KIDS. They're very sensitive to the world around them and much more perceptive than people will give them credit for. They're also human beings that NEED to feel HAPPY.

If you are like those parents I know, god help any kids you have. Personally my view is everything in moderation does no harm (with the exception of drugs obviously).

Tim Robbins

miss no stars wrote: »

Tim Robbins,


Just so ya know, there was this 1 kid in my class the whole way through school, from junior infants to 6th year that was raised by parents that sound like you.

Really?

She went off her face on drugs and alcohol because she never knew guilt free happyness (as everything was always at the expense of something else).

Sounds bad.

She never had what we had and god love her, she always put on a brave face that she had horrible runners or the same old school bag she had the previous year because her parents said they were still functional and replacing them was bad for someone else in the developing world.

Where the hell did I say I wouldn't buy kid runners if she needed it?

God, at 12 years old and in 1st year of school she was being sent to french grinds because she didn't get 100% in her 1st year french exam and her parents were "showing her better ways to study and teaching her good work ethics".

And where the hell did I say I'd insist a child get 100% in 1st year French?

You post is flawed for two reasons:

1.
You are taking a freaky anecdote and generalising
2.
You are making baseless correlations between that person's parents and me

Nevyn

miss no stars that is such an ad hominem argument.
I do know parents who do not indulge in santa with thier kids and they are good parents and care for thier children. Just because a parent doesn't do santa it doesn't mean that the child will grow up.

I make my kids look up spellings, that doesn't make me a bad parent or my children liable to have issues with drugs.

Can we get back on topic please and can people please use the report post function when they see a post which breaks the rules of the forums.
We do our best as mods but we have lives too and kids and can't read every post in every thread.

LeoB

We have 3 kids and this year will spend the guts of €800. I dont feel guilty because we save for it. We dont go to pubs and dont splash out.

We read a bit but not as much as before and so one of the most common thing we buy during the year is books. The eldest 2 like books the youngest would amuse himself with a role of tinfoil.

The important thing here is not to follow like sheep and be politically correct Get what you can afford dont mind what your neighbour gets.

We knew what was coming for our 12 year old and got his stuff in July-xbox and 2 games he will also get a few books and clothes. The 7year old wanted a Wii (so did her mum) and we got this 2 weeks ago. They wont spend half their life on them as we wont let them. There will be some small stocking fillers The youngest will be happy with whatever is under the tree and this will cost about €100 toys and books (more toys than books). This was an expensive year but generally they are fairly easily pleased. Aunts and uncles usually only buy clothes

One thing to remember is start buying in the slaes after Christmas or give yourself a date like 1st June to get some bits and pieces.

Quality

This year we will spend about €250 on each child for their christmas presents.. We have 3 kids.

The eldest is getting a bike as her big present.

The little fella wants a ds

and santa is getting a playhouse for the back garden for the baby.

By the time I fill there stockings and get them a few bits it should even out about €250 a child.

The clothes shopping for them this year is going to be the main cost. I am heading to Boston with the credit card fully charged!! But I have been saving for a few months and havent bought them much clothes lately so plan on boosting the wardrobes!!

ebmma

LeoB wrote: »

They wont spend half their life on them as we wont let them.

I get it that kids need supervision with games but I don't think it's fair to give it as their personal present and then just take it away whenever you feel appropriate. It's either actually theirs to do with whatever they wish or it is a family present for which everyone follows some sort of agreed rulers about playing time, sharing, etc.

Just reminds me in my early teens getting a 'birthday present' of a camera on one occasion and a stereo on another. But guess what, both items suddenly became family property as I was moving out (not on the best of terms, but that's beside the point). Haven't seen them since So guess who those things were actually bought for?