Gay, but underwhelmed with gay sex?

mcquickerson

So Ive always like guys

Had my first exp with a guy a few months back, and it was underwhelming

The guy wasnt the type I'd be into, I just did it for the sake of it

But things like receiving oral sex did very little for me

So second exp just happened, guy was more the type Id be into, but was the same

I mean, hormonally nothing seems to happen for me

Also, I feel I may have some sort of "premature" problem, so that only adds to the frustration

Ive heard guys here sayin kissing a guy is DEFO NOT the same as kissing a girl, but its the same for me

I get the urge, but when it comes down to it, I'm underwhelmed

accel

anxiety can make people have the premature problem...and it's hard to experience pleasure when anxious. and if it's only been 2 guys total...then u have time to get more comfortable with the whole thing and to meet people who are more inclined to make u happier sexually.

Tight Jeans

Maybe you are not as sexually charged up when it comes down to it and maybe you need more love and care from another guy Try cuddling and kissing and get into the mood and then go for gold. I did not like it the first time I did it but the next time I did it I really connected with the guy and it was great

Dwn Wth Vwls

I think what you're probably missing is some sort of emotional connection or chemistry. If these are just random guys you don't really know then it doesn't surprise me you're not into it. When you meet someone that you really like, get on well with and feel comfortable around, then things will probably be different. Give yourself a chance to feel something before you get to the bed instead of expecting it to magically appear once you get there.

As for certain things not doing it for you, that can probably be resolved over time with some communication.

Beruthiel

Doesn't matter whither you are gay, straight, bi, whatever, if there isn't some sort of lust and chemistry going on, I would expect the whole experience to be exceedingly underwhelming.

metamorphosis

Agree with above poster and you seem to be thinking about it too much which makes all the more annoying and frustrating. Result? Less enjoyable

Monkey61

You are probably not going to have a great time unless you have great chemistry with the other person.

Just because it is a man and vaguely your type is no guarantee that it is going to be great. Also, anxiety definitely hinders all kinds of enjoyment. Perhaps what you have learned is that you are just not suited to one night stands. I know that I am not, and no matter how much I fancy someone, I just cannot get off to the same extent on a one night stand as I would in a situation with someone I know and like and feel close to.

Reflector

Agree here, you need a connection, some people just do one night stands and are happy but for a lot of people they are just a waste of time. I'll put my hand up and say that I have never had a good one night stand and even other partners it took a bit of tweaking before it was good.

MicraBoy

Unfortunately you are a victim of an over sexualised society that teaches us that we all have to be awesome at sex, and that it must be the most incredible experience first and every time.

I don't mean to sound offensive but you have fooled around twice and you think you'll be good at it. That's nonsense really when you think about it.

I suggest finding some one you are really into and practicing lots with them. Then you'll get it. I don't particularly advocate practicing with lots of different people as that has its own complications

bolicsound

I'm in a somewhat similar situation. I think some of it could be down to the expectations we get from watching porn, which makes sex seem really easy and enjoyable. I've only really had great sex once (I'm 21, had my first experience last year), and the few other times have been only average at best. I would agree with other guys that it is about practising with someone who really turns you on.

You mention kissing. Well, in my case, kissing is a real turn-on, but it tends to get kinda boring from there onwards. It's weird. lol

fantastic98

hi . i like gay activity myself but would stop at actually having penetrative sex. too painful. kissing is all the same as you say...cheers kevin

Rondolfus

mcquickerson wrote: »

So Ive always like guys

Had my first exp with a guy a few months back, and it was underwhelming

The guy wasnt the type I'd be into, I just did it for the sake of it

But things like receiving oral sex did very little for me

So second exp just happened, guy was more the type Id be into, but was the same

I mean, hormonally nothing seems to happen for me

Also, I feel I may have some sort of "premature" problem, so that only adds to the frustration

Ive heard guys here sayin kissing a guy is DEFO NOT the same as kissing a girl, but its the same for me

I get the urge, but when it comes down to it, I'm underwhelmed

Ricky Gervais wrote:

You know, you don't always have to have anal sex.

1) Why not just **** each other off?

2) Why not cum on his back?

3) Why not cum in his hair?

4) Why not cum into a piece of fruit e.g watermelon

5) Why not both cum out of a window?

Problem solved

BlueLepreachaun

Couple of things:

1. Agree with everyone here you have to have some kinda chemistry, I dont' mean you need to want to make a boyfriend out of the guy but just because he had the anatomy and so do you does not mean your going to enjoy it.
A lot of gay guys in my experience are very...mechanical when it comes to sex, they dont take time to get in the mood or have any foreplay, its just clothes off and a real "get on with this" attitude, as if they're doing it to complete a task or add another number to their score list rather than to have actual fun.

2. Have you ever been with a chick? Explore the possibility that you might not have settled on your sexuality fully.

3. Not all gay people have, or like, anal sex, some people find no satisfaction or pleasure in it whatsoever, theres no rule that says you have to do it, the point of sex is pleasure, fun, its not like you have a set of boxes to tick, do what you enjoy and nothing ele. Also, for obvious reasons, if it's not done right your not going to enjoy it.

My first time was outdoors, I was freezing cold and just doing it for the sake of it, I didnt' enjoy most of it.
It was only the second guy I was with onwards I started to enjoy it.


....by the way Ricky...3-5....weird....just weird...:P


ps. most gay guys, in my experience, are ****e at oral sex.