Young Donegal Boy Carried Off By Runaway Cow (Updated)- Disassociated Press

irish1967 · 19-10-2009 9:39am #1

Young Donegal Boy carried off in Runaway Cow

Monday 19th October 2009

By Disassociated Press

Media and emergency services sprang into action yesterday just outside of Donegal Town when it was reported that a 6 year old local boy had been carried off in the stomach of a pedigree cow.

The drama began shortly after 9 a.m. when the boy, named locally as Eagle McDonald, went missing from his parent’s farmyard in the town land of Indabosbowel just outside of Donegal Town. Local media and then emergency services were immediately notified by the boy’s father, Ulick McDonald, a son of the famous local farmer known globally as ‘Old’.

The cow thought to contain young Eagle (Eaglet to his Montessori pals) was first spotted stampeding down the N15 outside Donegal Town in the direction of Ballybofey. A local Garda who clocked the rampaging beast near Clar chapel using the force’s new, state of the art handheld radar device estimated that the bovine racer was travelling at speeds in excess of 158km/h. Doubts have however been raised as to the accuracy of the radar device.

It is thought that young Eagle became lodged in the animal’s second stomach after a misunderstanding with his father. His boy’s father, Ulick, had earlier told the boy that he had heard that Santa was going to be appearing live in Magee’s shop window next week. He told the boy that he had heard this straight from the ‘horse’s mouth’. It is thought that, at aged 6, young Eagle had difficulty telling the difference between a cow and a horse. He is thought to have climbed into the cow to check if this story was in fact true. Donegal is world famous for having many big mouthed cows and so entry to the beast was not thought to be difficult. The boys father said he had often warned the young boy to 'never look a gift horse in the mouth'. He later admitted that he really should have included cows in this statement also.

As the massive rescue operation began those who attended included Donegal’s entire Garda contingent. (All 3 of whom had been on sick leave at the time), fire service, mountain rescue, coastguard, and ambulance service. The coastguard helicopter was scrambled from its closest base in Cobh to help track the beast and its young cargo.

As the drama unfolded Ocean FM’s Elaine ‘I sound serious when I read the news - even if its funny’ Magee kept the worldwide audience on the edge of their seats with live commentary from the scene. No video footage of the dramatic incident is available as it is thought that all available video equipment in the county was on its way to Knock, County Mayo to record the sun and some clouds.

On approaching Biddy O’Barnes in Barnesmore Gap the frenzied beast crashed through the doors of the small bar and completely destroyed the interior of the historic hostelry. The landlord claimed damage to the bar was reminiscent of a LYIT mystery tour although having witnessed that scene this reporter doubts the validity of that statement.

As the drama continued into its second hour fears grew for the wellbeing of young Eagle. Reports of a young person’s voice being heard coming from near the cow’s tail were dismissed. The witness is said to have been talking through his arse.

It was finally decided to take the bull by the horns and set up a road block near McGroarty’s Brae to halt the animals rampage. In a communications mix up the tanks that were requested, in order to block the road, from the army at Finner camp did not arrive. Instead several milk tankers from Donegal Creameries arrived. The tankers, emblazoned with the new Donegal Creameries logo “Milk is White but the Donegal GAA Sponsor Isn’t” were positioned across the N15 to block the animals path.

Donegal Creameries trucks near Letterkenny rushing to the scene (DP 191009)

Seeing the milk tankers the animal immediately fainted at the top of the brae and emergency services rushed in to save the child. Shouts of ‘The Eagle has landed’could be heard from the assembled crowd of onlookers. Due to the presence of animal rights activists from the Donegal International Cow Keepers Society (D.I.C.K.S),who would not allow the cow to be harmed for the sake of just a child, the rescuers had to wait for several minutes until the cow’s bowels moved.

Local veterinarian Andy Updeass said there was little doubt that when young Eagle came out he would be ‘in the sh1t’ but to everyone’s amazement there was no sign of the young passenger.

As we go to press a major search is ongoing along the cow’s route to see if the young lad can be located. Residents and motorists in the area are urged to closely examine any cow pats they come across for signs of a young brown Eagle.

(Further updates to follow)