Trying to deal with an Ectopic pregnancy....

~Trixiebelle~

hey guys,

I have recently had an ectopic pregnancy at 9wks and as a result had to get one of my tubes removed. The whole thing has been upsetting and i have been feeling such a loss of 'what should've been'. I think the hardest thing to deal with is the reason why I had the ectopic. The surgeon discovered i had been suffering from PID which would have been most likely caused by an STD. My insides are stuffed and now my left (only remaining!!:mad:) tube is all tethered which increases the chances of having another one making me infertile.

I cant really describe all the emotions im feeling at the moment coz i just seem to have a million and one things racing through my mind. Guilt, disgust, sorrow, shock....etc..

I suppose i am just hoping to hear from others that have experienced a similar problem and how they dealt with it. My husband and I are desparate for a child at some stage. I don't what to try to get pregnant and just hope it works only to have another ectopic.......

Any advice or personal experiences would be gratefully received.
Thanks.

Das Kitty

So sorry to read this.

If I were in your shoes I would ask for a referral to a fertility specialist who can come up with a plan of action for you. All is not lost, your bodies have shown that you and your husband have perfectly working systems apart from this problem.

Don't beat yourself up over the STI issue either, a lot of the ones that can affect fertility can be otherwise symptomless.

You now know what the problem is, you just need advice on how to get around it.

Good luck.

crazy cat lady

I'm really sorry to hear that you've had to experience this, the loss of any pregnancy is one of the hardest things in life to deal with.

I've not had an ectopic, but I did have a miscarriage last year, as have many users of this forum. The feelings of loss and shame can be overwhelming. The worst thing for me was the feeling that I had let everyone down, especially my husband. After a while tho you realise that the only person judging you is yourself.

Unfortunately, if you have an ectopic pregnancy, you are automatically deemed high risk of having a second one, regardless of the causing factor. The good news is that you will not always lose the tube from having an ectopic pregnancy. Should you become pregnant again, you would be offered a very early scan to check the position of the embryo. If it was in the wrong place you would be given drugs to end the pregnancy and preserve the tube. I know this in itself would be very difficult to deal with, but I would imagine it would be easier than dealing with the loss of a pregnancy and the loss of your remaining tube.

There is also a very good chance that your next pregnancy could run smoothly. Many women have ectopic pregnancies and then go on to have healthy babies.

I'd also like to point out that in the event of the worst happening, that being that you lose your remaining tube, you would still have ovaries and a womb. As long as you have those I'm sure there are ways of becoming pregnant with assisted reproduction.

For now I would just concentrate on coming to terms with your grief. You don't want to be going into your next pregnancy with it weighing you down too heavily. The grief will always be there but it does become easier to deal with, especially with loving and supportive friends and family.

Try and see a gynaecologist about the PID, I'm not sure what modern medicine has to offer in this field but you've nothing to lose by investigating. And don't stress too much about the whole STI thing. Some are picked up as easily as the flu, unfortunately they are symptomless. You're not the first and you won't be the last, and nobody is going to judge you for it. Go easy on yourself cos you've enough to be dealing with at the minute.

Take care x

~Trixiebelle~

Thanks for the advice and kind comments guys....

I'm due back to the hospital again in a few weeks and i think asking for a referrel to a specialist would be benefical. Im not going to rush into getting pregnant again until we found out that for one the PID is gone (or undercontrol??, i still know very little about it!!:mad:) and that we have done everything to give us the best possible chance of conceiving and the egg making it to the womb this time!!

I would like to hear more personal experiences regarding the PID?!? Its crazy that i never knew anything about it!! I have no idea how its going to effect me in the future or if your ever 'cured'. I have read a few bits on the internet but i have never spoke to anyone who has had or heard of it before!.... so frustrating!!:(

It really sends it home to me how important it is to get yourself checked even whilst your in an apparently 'monogumus' relationship!! If i didn't hate my ex before, i definitley do now!!! It wasn't just bad debts he left me with!!!:mad::rolleyes: