baby crying when leaving the room

horsebox1977

Any thoughts on how to over come this?

When either myself or my wife leave the room - our baby just starts crying uncontrollably - it's as if he does not want to be left alone -
he sleeps on his own and has done without any problems since he was 6 weeks old.
I would be sitting there and he would be playing with his toys laughing and joking and you go out ot answer the door or make tea and the minute you leave the room he will be hysterical - and might take 5 mins + to settle him down again?

Any thoughts?

lalalulu

Hi... How old is your little one? Most babies will go through seperation anxiety as they don't know that when someone leave's the room that they have only gone next door. Not much advice sorry, only this will pass and don't be tempted to carry baby everywhere as you'll have even bigger problem's
Just give lot's of reassure that you'll be back in a minute and give lots of hugs and kisses...

eviltwin

Hi OP

Had a similar problem with my daughter when she was a baby. Worst thing you can do is give into it. I stupidly did and it took until she was nearly three before I could leave her alone for any length of time

Its not easy listening to a crying child but as long as they arent in any distress then you have to do it.

Good luck!!

Wantobe

Disagree with other posters- bring him with you. This will pass- it is just a phase. In time he will see that, for eg, while you in the same room as him you can go to one end and come back, go to get a cup, come back etc etc. He will quickly understand that you will come back. Meanwhile he has no conception that you can come back and it would be cruel to just let him cry. I went through this with both of mine, you have to do it gradually. Let them play on a rug while you move about, they will let you go further and further over time. It's not really that big a deal to bring them with you for a few weeks which is all it lasted with mine.

Deliverance

horsebox1977 wrote: »

Any thoughts on how to over come this?

When either myself or my wife leave the room - our baby just starts crying uncontrollably - it's as if he does not want to be left alone -
he sleeps on his own and has done without any problems since he was 6 weeks old.
I would be sitting there and he would be playing with his toys laughing and joking and you go out ot answer the door or make tea and the minute you leave the room he will be hysterical - and might take 5 mins + to settle him down again?

Any thoughts?

My little one went through something similar, out of sight is not out of mind to a baby mind it is simply gone and can cause anxiety! A simple trick that might help is using the 'peek a boo' method for a start.

Use a teddy or fave toy to show up to the child then hide it... say 'wheres teddy'!, then reproduce 'teddy' whilst announcing 'here's teddy'! Do this all day if you like they'll never get bored of it because their little brain is learning that 'things' do come back even if they are out of sight.

Transition this to: 'wheres mammy'! and hide yourself, then pop up and say 'here's mammy!', again do this for as long as it takes. They won't get bored of this either;) And neither will you because seeing the excitement on their faces when you re-appear is priceless.

As silly as it might be to an adult, it is learning for the young child that even though mam or dad is not in immediate sight, they are coming back again. This is a learning process by repetition.

This really works to a degree until the child develops more cognitive abilities, when you think about it, it makes sense.

I read and studied child psychology as a part of a thesis that I am writing and one doctors name which I must dig up for you (I'm terrible remembering names) showed a phenomenon in cognitive growth that led from dependency on the first person they first see i.e. the Mam. To not seeing the mam. They replaced the Mam with some other comfort like the thumb, dummy, teddy, security blanket etc.

My own little one used the dummy first until she was able to find her thumb. I still think though that the best thing that you can try at the moment is the 'peek a boo' method for you as a starter. Oh and whatever happens don't worry and don't get to stressed over this. It is a natural process that all kids go through. They will get over this stage. You can only make it as easy as possible for them as a parent. That's what parents are for;)

IsThatSo?

Peek a boo is excellent for seperation anxiety.

Usually children go through the first stage of seperation anxiety at about 8 months old as they begin to realise that they and their mother are not actually the same person. I would imagine this would be quite scary for a small baby, tbh. We are going through it now, as it happens.

Then between 12-15 months they go through the second stage which is the "if they leave they might never come back" bit. Never leave the room without saying 'back in a minute' and you can bring child with you, if you wish, saying, 'look, I was just going in here to the bathroom' and then after a few times they will understand better about bathroom.

It takes a while, and can be a very tiring stage, but every child does it.

Once the child starts saying 'back in a minute' when they leave the room (as mine did) you know you are getting there

JoeyJJ

We played alot of peek a boo with our daughter using her dolly and us from a very early stage, also when my wife was on Maternity I would always say good bye to my daughter and explain how I'm going to work, some days around 4 she would look over at the couch I usually sit on and stare for a few mins until my wife would say how I am at work and she would be fine and not look over, then when she hears the door open she knew it was me. Now when I collect her from creche sometimes she would look over to the other for my wife until she comes home and I just say Mammy will be home soon and she is happy for a while longer.