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overnight vistits withe father

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Comments

  • #52
    lillybelle01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16 ✭lillybelle01


    and i am not denying access i am trying to agree terms with him so he can see more of our daughter. i also have made no false claim about him his gf or the people he lives with i have simply said i do not know them and would not be comfortable with my doughter staying overnight with people i don't know.


  • #53
    LeoB
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,256 ✭✭✭LeoB


    Offy wrote: »
    Im sorry LeoB but I see things from a different angle. I see no reason to deny access to the father based on anything I read from the OP. I read one side of a story but I know enough to realize that having two parents is better than having one.
    Relationships break up, thats a fact of life but for me the only reason to deny access would be if the children were in real danger and I've read nothing the indicates there is real danger to the children.
    The mother does not know the new housemates BUT she did choose the father and if her judgement is that poor that she would choose a father that would endanger his own children then perhaps she should not have custody.

    What I have read is she has concerns about his current situation, his current partner and her attidtude towards her. Based on this I think she is right.

    I of course accept two parents is better than one but there must be only one hymn sheet which in this case is not there. People endanger there kids all the time some without realizing it through drink, drugs or fighting but when in the right frame of mind are probably wonderful people and parents.

    The op from what we know has made some choices about how she conducts her life in front of her child and this can only be good, ie not having her boy friend around her house to much in front of the child. This shows me someone who maybe messed up once and has learned and is trying to move on. Her ex could probably do the same in the interest of the child.

    If I thought she was doing it just to spite her ex I would not be supporting her stanse. I think we all know or believe Men are quite often dumped on in a lot of these situations. I think the only thing she can do to get some real progress is to sit down with her ex and a social worker or mediator and put in place a solid plan in the best interest of the child.


  • #54
    nesf
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 27,644 ✭✭✭✭nesf


    Offy, I'm having a lot of trouble seeing parallels between your experience and what the OP is talking about. I personally don't think she's correct in her wishes regarding overnight access but she doesn't at all come across like she wants to bar her ex from seeing the kid.

    This, as with many threads, is where people start seeing their situation in what the OP describes. It is rarely the case that they will be similar except for superficial details.


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