Kids upset over pointless things.

komodosp

A similar but slightly different thread to the other one I posted...

According to the official advice(though I admit I haven't read too much and I'm hearing this second hand), you should try to empathise with the child when they get upset because even if it's not important to you it might still be important to them.... Try to understand that the thing can be very upsetting even if it's really unimportant.

BUT
Are you now not just confirming to them it is important? And kind of justifying them being upset, leading them to get just as upset over similar stuff in the future?

They would be happier if they didn't care about whatever it is they are crying about now. So would it not be better to find a way (yes I realise just telling them isn't enough) of showing them it's not important?

cch

Don't mean to be flippant but you're a man, aren't you?

Maybe it's just the kids way of figuring things out for themselves? Talking them through the problem is probably the best approach.

ash23

The trick is to do it without escalating the problem or devaluing how they feel.
For eg, they might want to wear a certain jumper but it's a bit small.

You've a few choices and it depends on the age of the child, the temperament of the child at that moment, the temperament of the parent at that moment and about a thousand variables.

You could insist they wear another jumper. That can go one of a few ways. Child has meltdown, child accepts decision begrudgingly or child doesn't give a toss really.

It so depends. My kid would be very good usually, well behaved, does as she's told. But she tests me sometimes. If she's very tired I give in because I know it's not her fault she's being a wagon, she's just shattered.
If she's just acting up and I'm tired I might just think "to hell with it, let her wear the f-ing jumper, I cant be arsed".

Everyone knows their own child and they know when to give in and when not to. Mostly. Unless the child is a contender for supernanny tv viewing, then odds are the parents are doing a great job even if, to an outsider, it looks like they sometimes let the kids away with petty things.
Sometimes you just pick your battles.

Nevyn

You can acknowledge what they are feeling with out validating it.

simu

Sometimes kids get upset over ridiculous things and they need to learn when they're being silly. Otherwise how will they get any perspective on what's important and what's not? They will turn into uber-precious adults!