Aspergers

Irishone1949

Hi there, my partner has aspergers. Only recently diagnosed, well in the last couple of years. Can anyone give me any advice on how they cope with their aspergic partners, or direct me to some information on aspergers.
Here is a very basic version of what I have found out so far. It is pretty interesting, except when you have to live with the person. Then it can be really difficult. It is of course on the edge of the autism.
Not looking for medical advice ..just some pointers on how other people cope with aspergic partners.
Loads of help for aspergic children but not much for partners.

Adult Diagnosis

As more and more doctors and society in general understands more about
Aspergers syndrome, the condition is being diagnosed in adults as well
as children.

Sometimes the diagnosis doesn’t come out in adults until their own child
is diagnosed with an Autism Spectrum Disorder.

Typical symptoms associated with Aspergers syndrome in adults include
having an average or above average intelligence, having difficulty
thinking abstractly, showing difficulty empathizing with others,

having poor conversational ability, and having difficulty controlling
their feelings.

They also tend to adhere strongly to routines and schedules, show some
inappropriate social behaviors and tend to specialize in specific
fields or hobbies.

Adults with Aspergers syndrome often cannot clearly understand the
emotions of others.

They may miss the subtleties of facial expression, eye contact and
body language.

Like children with Aspergers syndrome, these adults are often seen
as odd.

In addition, more males than females are affected with adult
Aspergers syndrome.

In years past, such people muddled along in society, sometimes on the
fringes and others were diagnosed with different types of mental illnesses.

Now that Aspergers syndrome has been brought into the public light by
cases of people who either have succeeded despite Aspergers syndrome
or committed crimes as a result of having previously undiagnosed
Aspergers syndrome, more adults are being picked up and treated for
the condition.

Often these aren’t adults specifically asking for help for suspected
Aspergers syndrome but rather have depression, issues around self esteem
or other mood issues that bring them to doctors or therapists that are
now making the correct underlying diagnosis.

By finding the correct underlying diagnosis, more help can become
available even to those who’ve likely had the diagnosis their entire
lives but were unnoticed or labeled something else.

woolyhat

HI Look up GRASP. org also ASPIRE Ireland both sites give information on Aspergers. Everything seem to be centered around children nothing much for adults. though there are some books on Amizon. This is so much overlooked as a health issue needs much more public awareness.
Please anyone with any information on this condition let me know.

Good luck and thanks

Chickus

Hi,
I was on the a plane the other day and daw a really good film called 'Adam'. i think its new. Hugh Dancy plays lead character. It s about a guy with Aspergers who forms a relationship with a girl.Shows how the girl overcame social obstacles etc..very enlightening..

Kevster

Hi,

I'm 26 and have Asperger's. Im also the administrator for a web-site that has one of the most popular Asperger's forums in the US and Canada.

ASPIRE is indeed the main organisation for it in Ireland, but there's tonnes of info about it in general on the Internet. The National Autistic Society in the UK has a lot of info too. (Asperger's is an 'Autism Spectrum Disorder').

Kevin

themorrigan

I'm interested to know how and where an adult can be diagnosed with Asbergers, and are there various degrees of Aspergers?

My son, now an adult, 20 has been referred to a CBT (cognative behaviour therapy) by his GP only this week so though it's just the beginning I am wondering in my own head if it's some form of aspergers or maybe I'm just way off - I don't know much about it as yet..just learning.
But maybe someone can tell me how as a adult he can get assessed, what the cost is and should I mention it to our doctor when we return in two weeks after reading the book he has recommended first.

Kevster

The psychiatrist who referred him to the CBT therapist should have the contact(s) for pursuing a diagnosis. Im 26 now and tried to pursue such a diagnosis too but was informed that the waiting list could be more than one year. So, I decided to just accept in my self that I have Asperger's; and my family back me. If the psychiatrist does not give you positive info, then go back further to the GP you went to first.

Skyler H

There are no specific genetic or biological markers indicative of a person being afflicted with Autism Spectrum Disorder, Aspergers diagnosis is as a matter of necessity based on behavior. There are three main areas of difficulty for people with Aspergers.
1. Impairment social skills
2. Impairment in communication
3. Restricted and repetitive patterns in behavior.

premierlass

I'm late with this, but here are a couple of resources:

http://www.faaas.org

http://www.aspires-relationships.com/

There are several books on the subject of marriage or long term relationships and Asperger's, including
An Asperger Marriage ([SIZE=-1]Chris Slater-Walker)
Asperger Syndrome and Long-Term Relationships (Ashley Stanford)
Alone Together - Katrin Bentley

You can preview some of the content on Google Books.

As a relative of someone with Asperger's, I know that it can be extremely difficult under the best of circumstances. Of course everyone with AS is an individual, so it is hard to give general advice.

It is often better to set boundaries as regards your partner's behaviour towards you rather than simply accepting it as a part of the condition, for example, if s/he is prone to the occasional tantrum.

One difficult aspect is the tendency of the person with AS to obsessive interests and behaviour. As regards the former, I'm afraid I can't give much advice as my relative's interests are specific, but can be wide-ranging. It does help if you share your partner's interests, but I understand that many or even most spouses/partners don't.

The obssessive behaviour is a result of the need by the need to impose some kind of control or order on his/her life. Aspies get extremely stressed because they are so sensitive to impressions, sounds, light and stimuli, and also because of their lack of knowledge of social norms causes them to view the normal daily interactions that most people take for granted with dread. This, of course, is difficult to live with![/SIZE]

Anyway, those were just a few points that I thought of off the top of my head. Good luck.
‎

woolyhat

premierlass wrote: »

I'm late with this, but here are a couple of resources:

http://www.faaas.org

http://www.aspires-relationships.com/

There are several books on the subject of marriage or long term relationships and Asperger's, including
An Asperger Marriage ([SIZE=-1]Chris Slater-Walker)
Asperger Syndrome and Long-Term Relationships (Ashley Stanford)
Alone Together - Katrin Bentley

You can preview some of the content on Google Books.

As a relative of someone with Asperger's, I know that it can be extremely difficult under the best of circumstances. Of course everyone with AS is an individual, so it is hard to give general advice.

It is often better to set boundaries as regards your partner's behaviour towards you rather than simply accepting it as a part of the condition, for example, if s/he is prone to the occasional tantrum.

One difficult aspect is the tendency of the person with AS to obsessive interests and behaviour. As regards the former, I'm afraid I can't give much advice as my relative's interests are specific, but can be wide-ranging. It does help if you share your partner's interests, but I understand that many or even most spouses/partners don't.

The obssessive behaviour is a result of the need by the need to impose some kind of control or order on his/her life. Aspies get extremely stressed because they are so sensitive to impressions, sounds, light and stimuli, and also because of their lack of knowledge of social norms causes them to view the normal daily interactions that most people take for granted with dread. This, of course, is difficult to live with![/SIZE]

Anyway, those were just a few points that I thought of off the top of my head. Good luck.
‎

Hi Thanks for your reply and sorry this is so late had been away from things for a while.
I want to say thanks for all replies

premierlass

premierlass wrote: »

I'm late with this, but here are a couple of resources:

http://www.faaas.org

http://www.aspires-relationships.com/

‎

Sorry to dredge up this thread again, but I'd like to unrecommend the first link I gave. It's been exposed as having an anti-Aspie agenda.

Irishone1949

Oh dear..as if life with an aspergers person isn't difficult enough... thanks for getting back..

Irishone1949

The obssessive behaviour is a result of the need by the need to impose some kind of control or order on his/her life. Aspies get extremely stressed because they are so sensitive to impressions, sounds, light and stimuli, and also because of their lack of knowledge of social norms causes them to view the normal daily interactions that most people take for granted with dread. This, of course, is difficult to live with!