You're a culchie if...

kincsem

In the Chinese takeaway your order is a bag of chips and a tin of minerals.

eurojedward

You're a culchie if... you have more than one letter on your car number plate.

30txsbzmcu2k9w

male culchies
you love farting in pubs.
you only wear stripped shirts.
order large bottles 'off the shelf'
refer to any man who has longish hair as a smhhokehead
refer to anyone who listens to anything other than U2, bon jovi or the wolfetones as a crusty.
have a sacred heart lamp in your house
don't understand irony
philistine
shoots rabbits
keeps money in a biscuit tin or under a mattress
watch winning streak
says it's class or it's savage

female culchie
only shift GAA players
only shift a man if he has land
cockblock men who approaches your one of friends by speaking on behalf of them
Wants to be or is a nurse
does not understand irony
philistine
drinks pints of budweiser
and see above for the rest

Havermeyer

If you eat 'hang sangwiches'.

Jackeenboy

ur a culchie if you say "I suppose......" at the start of every sentence!:rolleyes:

blueshark22

Jackeenboy wrote: »

ur a culchie if you say "I suppose......" at the start of every sentence!:rolleyes:

ha ha ha im a culchie through and through:):):)

rossie1977

Elyse Substantial Tentacle wrote: »

says it's class or it's savage

a friend of mine from raheny says savage all the time but its usually people from galway that i hear say it, funny before i went to college i never heard anyone say it

you know you are from mayo if you say "in fairness" at the start of every sentence

A_SN

Notorious wrote: »

If you say 'they is 89' rather then 'there is 89'.

So what does that make you if you say 'there are 89'? (ah crap someone beat me to it)

If I get it right, 'culchies' are like hillbillies/rednecks/white trash and 'D4s' are like valley girls?

This thread is almost making me glad I never stepped into the lands beyond the M50 (except for the airport).

Reindeer

snyper wrote: »

You are a culchie if you truely hate the sight, and particularly the smell of Dublin.

Yer either a Culchie, or ya live in Dublin

enda1

If you call lunch dinner and call dinner tea!

KTRIC

If you like a bit o' the drink drivin'

CuLT

lightening wrote: »

You're a culchie if...

You know every street in Dublin (what is with that? Its like sat nav!)
You hate hate hate Roma gypsies.
You drive like a maniac, sober or drunk.
You think doing doughnuts for hours is great fun.
You are terrified of Dublin.
You have a massive horrible celtic tiger house with eight bathrooms and a ride on mower.
You HAVE to have to keep up with the Jones's and get whatever your neighbour gets (Ride on mower, TDI car)
You are obsessed with the RED I or a RED TDI!
You don't feel the cold. Ever.

Sounds more like scobes, to be honest. Well, apart from the large house and ride-on mower. A man can dream, though, I guess.

RMD wrote: »

Wear what was worn in Dublin 2+ years ago.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WHAT

"Fintan, would you ever look at that chap, wearing the Massimo winter line from two years ago! I can't focking believe it."

eurojedward

eurojedward wrote: »

You're a culchie if... you have more than one letter on your car number plate.

and the number on it is shorter than your telephone number!

pickarooney

Ali Mealy Suburbia wrote: »

That poxy dance version of Cotton Eye Joe,

The way you say that almost makes it sound as though there was a non-poxy version of that song or worse, that this dance version somehow defiles the memory of a classic.

cournioni

If something strange happens, ie. your Massey Ferguson's engine fcuks up. There is a collective "a whisssshhht" from everyone in the vicinity.

In All Fairness

baz2009 wrote: »

That would make you English.

You're a culchie if:
You use rope to tie your trousers instead of a belt.
You watch a GAA match on a Sunday lunch time, then watch the highlights to make sure you didn't miss anything.
You only bathe on a Saturday night, but only because there is mass the next morning.
During mass you don't actually go inside the church, you bless yourself with holy water before it and then stand outside the church talking.
You think no sandwich is complete without a half a pound of butter.

Jayzuz Baz, that's a good list. For a Jackeen you seem to know us. You're dead right on the butter. But the ultimate acid test of a culchie is to put a right good feed in front of him. If he claps his hands together just before tucking in, he's a culchie. Even the culchie atheists do it. It's their way of saying grace.

In All Fairness

kevogy wrote: »

thinghs culchies love


01 : A nice bit of ham.
02 : Buttered biscuits.
03 : Diggin' Houles.
04 : Saying it's too cold to snow
05 : Pretending to know about The Ra.
06 : Tayto Cheese & Onion
07 : Pretending they're in The Ra.
08 : A stretch in the evenings
09 : Lucozade
10 : Accordians
11 : Pretending to like Holy Week.
12 : A dinner dance
13 : Gettin clattered in muck.
14 : Shania Twain.
15 : Heifers
16 : Spittin in their hands before doing anything manual.
17 : Steel toe caps.
18 : A big bowl of carrots & parsnips.
19 : Eating sangwiches out of the boot of a car at GAA
20 : Saying someone's 'Opened a Book' on something.
21 : The smell of fresh dung.
22 : Slice-Your-Own Loaf.
23 : Work Clothes.
24 : A bottle of mineral.
25 : Fightin'.
26 : Puttin on a ganzee to stop them from bein foundered.
27 : 'The' Hurling/Fitball.
28 : Being overweight.
29 : Weemin wha resemble Heifers.
30 : Saying "Aaah" after taking their first sup of tae.
31 : Drink driving.
32 : Red diesel.
33 : The Fear of Change.
34 : A nice bit of barn brack.
35 : Lying.
36 : Building walls.
37 : Being starved with the cold rather than with a lack of food.
38 : Pretending to like mass.
39 : Talking about ****e like Flax and the Corncrake.
40 : A good blackthorn walkin stick.
41 : Shouting 'Yeeeeeoooo' when something good happens.
42 : Muhammad Ali.
43 : Machinery.
44 : Strange uppy-downy walks.
45 : A good f**kin read of Ireland's Own.
46 : Gelling their 1cm fringe tight to their forehead.
47 : Scandal, as long as it's about other people.
48 : Turf, because Sentirl heatin's for weemin.
49 : Soda farls.
50 : Sponge 'n Custirt.
51 : Newmerica', and anything to do with it.
52 : Givin the dog the wildest baytins.
53 : Givin the wife the wildest baytins.
54 : The Ra.
55 : Winning a leg of lamb in a raffle.
56 : Wrecking the house whilst steaming.
57 : Club Orange.
58 : Rubbing their hands together before tucking into their dinner.
59 : The Foot & Mouth.
60 : Aetin' a big feed of spuds.
61 : TK Red Lemonade.

Awesome post. Too lazy to edit my last one. Should have read the whole thread before posting; which a culchie would have done.

Mal-Adjusted

If you go to college

stovelid

Can't we all just love each other?

Not in the culchie way: immediate family members excluded

gaz wac

CreepingDeath wrote: »

If your local shop is a newsagent, butchers, post office, chemist and off-license combined all in a floorspace of 5m squared, with a solicitor/estate agent upstairs.

And your allowed to settle your tab "whenever you get your cattle grant money Paddy, shure not a worry on ya " !!

ShagNastii

Nine pages and not a mention of Copperface Jacks?

topper75

Hay is made out of grass and clover etc. You cut the grass down a couple times in summer; dry it out; then wrap it in tight round or square bales. Hay has nutrients, and you feed it to livestock.

Straw, on the other hand, is the leftover hollow stalks of crops like oats and wheat and barley (after harvesting of course). The stalks are cut, dried and baled. Straw has little nutrition but it's warm and absorbent. It’s best for livestock bedding, not food.

I would be a culchie alright. I knew for sure when I read the wife/sister post.

BTW Some good savage culchies in around the Naul and Oldtown in North County Dublin etc. and a lot of my pals out wesht live in huge housing estates, work in offices and spend half their life stuck in traffic.

I'd like to make it simple, but you can never be sure who's who (until the sliotar is thrown in that is ).

herbieflowers

you use the term Tayto as an all-encompassing word for any type of crisps.

Holmer

Stee wrote: »

You dont pluralise the word year. "Er about thray year back."

You refer to town (Dublin City) as 'the town'.

You wear a GAA Jersey on your first day a college in Dublin as a "tapic 'a canversayshin" with all the other mulchy headed people from your county.

No, only Dublin people refer to Dublin as "town" as if it were the only town in the country;)

Blazer

You snort coke instead of injecting yourself with heroin.

funkyjebus

if your pronounce er at the end of a word as ar. Eg. Butter becomes buttar.

biko

You rub your hands together before digging into a feast of spuds.

funkyjebus

if you call potatoes spuds

rossie1977

ShagNastii wrote: »

Nine pages and not a mention of Copperface Jacks?

probably because it is being frequented by more and more northside dubs these days, especially at weekends

irishultra

some culchies really pronounce the t, so if they say i support manchester united which from a dublin person will come out as united they pronounce it like yooooonittted.

3qsmavrod5twfe

You are a culchie if

You spent a summer on the bog "rearing the turf"
Have spent until 11:30pm of an August night in the tractor "saving the hay" in case it pisses the following day.
If you've asked to meet people under the clock at Clery's or Eason's on 8th December and still refuse to meet anywhere near the Spire.
You have been "up to your ocksters" in muck.
You know what your "ockster" is.
You are either dramatically early or dramatically late for every event. There is no such thing as on time.

There are way more but these are the good ones I remember from my exceptionally culchie upbringing

irishultra

also

they convince themselves that the ****hole they come from with nothing to do is great because we have a sense of community that they don't get in dublin and dublin people don't know how to have the craic(craic means spending all your social time talking ****e and drinking in your local pub)

Hhate soccer(especially LOI clubs) but support 'the pool'.

If culchies were black I'd say I'd be a racist, I really hate their parochial mindset!!!

oppenheimer1

CreepingDeath wrote: »

You can name all your neighbours within a 1km radius

Correction... there are no neighbours within a 1km radius

BnA

You are a Cultie if :

• You don't talk in a West brit accent
• Your back garden is more that 10 square feet.
• You know your neighbours. You mightn't talk to them from one end of the year to another, but you know if you ever need anything, you can give them a call.
• You learnt to drive when you were 12, on a tractor, and now you don't sheet yourself on the road and slam on the brakes when you see one coming against you.
• You live in a 3k square foot house and don't share any walls with loud renting students
• No-one has ever p1ssed, puked or pooed on your doorstep
• You don't cling to some pointless premiership team on Sky Sports in a pathetic effort to try and show you are a real sports fan.
• You don't have to dress up to go to the pub. You can go in a suit or a pair of wellies. No-one in there will really give a sheet.

BnA

topper75 wrote: »

Hay is made out of grass and clover etc. You cut the grass down a couple times in summer; dry it out; then wrap it in tight round or square bales. Hay has nutrients, and you feed it to livestock.
....

Have to pull you up on a technicality there Topper.

If you Cut Grass and pile it up in a big heap... you have Silage

If you cut Grass, bale it and wrap it, you have bales of Silage

If you cut grass, dry it out and bale it (no wrapping) you have Hay

And finally, a new term that is coming into being in the last few years.... If you cut grass, Let it dry out a bit so that it is nearly hay, and then bale it and wrap it.... you have Haylage

lightening

BnA wrote: »

You are a Cultie if : You know your neighbours. You mightn't talk to them from one end of the year to another

And you wouldn't even know if they were dead!!!

ScumLord

My name is URL wrote: »

You own a pair of wellies

Wellies are for sissys.













If you think wellies are for sissys.

Xavi6

If you use the word 'out' to convey a feeling, i.e. "I was happy out"

Wtf does it even mean? :mad:

ScumLord

Xavi6 wrote: »

If you use the word 'out' to convey a feeling, i.e. "I was happy out"

Wtf does it even mean? :mad:

I was out and I was happy, all these things make perfect sense.

Quigs Snr

You occasionally enjoy a refreshing "tin" of Nash's fizzy orange.

Nasty_Girl

candlegrease wrote: »

You greet people by saying "what's the craic?"

The only people I know who say "what's the craic" are from Tallaght.

In Tipp we say "Well Boy/Girl"

In Wexford we say "Howya Hon"

The rest of the culchies, I dunno how they greet ppl.

restaurants

you have your dinner in the middle of the day.......

Nasty_Girl

Xavi6 wrote: »

If you use the word 'out' to convey a feeling, i.e. "I was happy out"

Wtf does it even mean? :mad:

"Sound out" used to annoy the livin fook out of me,

esp when ppl from northern counties would say soind oit and then everyone started sayin it arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh. Its ok if you're from a northern county but if you're not it's just fookin annoyin

lilirish

ShagNastii wrote: »

Nine pages and not a mention of Copperface Jacks?

When you do go out in "the big smoke" you refuse to go anywhere other than flannerys and copper face jacks

Xyo

if you ever tasted the molasses to make sure she's ripe.

admiralofthefleet

- if you never wash

g5fd6ow0hseima

restaurants wrote: »

you have your dinner in the middle of the day.......

yeah, dinner at 12 or 1pm. its quite common down the country

fullback4glin

The guy wrote: »

If you put like at the end of a sentence, putting like in the middle of a sentence makes you a D4.

Perfection

fullback4glin

lilirish wrote: »

When you do go out in "the big smoke" you refuse to go anywhere other than flannerys and copper face jacks

It's the only place we're comfortable

Hrududu

When you use phrases like "Well buck?" "Hows she cuttin?" and "Now we're sucking diesel."

This thread is making me homesick for culchieland. I might have a clatther a sphuds for the dinner(tea) to get over it.