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  • 08-11-2009 2:15pm
    #1
    coldfire1x
    Registered Users Posts: 3,354 ✭✭✭


    Policeman: "Did you get the license number of the car that knocked you down?"

    Pedestrian: "No, but I know who it was. My mother-in-law!"

    Policeman: "How can you be so certain?"

    Pedestrian: "I’d recognize that laugh anywhere!"

    A hypothetical situation where 20 CEOs board an airplane and are told that the flight that they are about to take is the first-ever to feature pilot less technology.

    It is a pilotless aircraft.

    Each one of the CEOs is then told, privately, that their company's software is running the aircraft's automatic pilot system.

    Nineteen of the CEO s promptly leave the aircraft, each offering a different type of excuse.

    One CEO alone remains on board the jet, seeming very calm indeed. Asked why he is so confident in this first uncrewed flight, he replies: "If it is the same software that runs my company's IT systems, this plane won't even take off.”

    A Taliban was sitting in a cave when he hears over a dune the voice of one American solider: "One American solider is better then 10 Taliban fighters" so the Taliban angry sent over ten of his high-ranking soldiers. After a lot of gun fire and yelling and screams of agony the Taliban heard the voice again. "One American solider is better then 100 Taliban fighters" So the Taliban sends over 100 of his highest ranked soldiers sure of victory. After a lot of gun fire and yelling and screams of agony the Taliban heard the voice again. "One American solider is better then 1000 Taliban fighters" So the Taliban sent his toughest, meanest, personal guards over the dune. After hundreds of bullets fired, and explosions and the screaming and crying, it was over. The Taliban now wondering what happened goes over the dune where he finds a wounded Taliban solider who says "don't send anymore men it's really a trap there is really two of them!"

    A bear, a lion and a pig meet.

    Bear says: "if I roar in the forest, the entire forest is shivering with fear."

    Lion says: "if I roar in the jungle, the entire jungle is afraid of me."

    Pig says: "big deal.... I only have to cough, and the entire planet lives in fear.


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