Kids

coldfire1x

A little girl had just finished her first week of school.
'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!'

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John : If I had five coconuts and I gave you three, how many would I have left?
Jackie : I don’t know.
John : Why not ?
Jackie : In our school we do all our arithmetic in apples and oranges!

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Son : Dad, why are some people dark and some fair?

Dad : God made them so.

Son : But Dad, God is supposed to be fair and not biased!

Dad (after thinking for some time on how to satisfy his son's curiosity) : Son he made them in a hurry !

Son : Come on Dad, God is God and he is fast ! Don't kid me !

Dad : Son, he made them in the night and forgot to paint them white !

Son : Wow ! I knew you would know !

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Teacher: What are some products of the West Indies?
Student: I don't know.
Teacher: Of course, you do. Where do you get sugar from?
Student: We borrow it from our neighbor.
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Small boy: "Dad , can you write in the dark?"
Father: "I think so. What is it you want me to write?"
Small Boy: "Your name on the report card."
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Teacher: "what's further away, America or the Moon?"
Student: "America!"
Teacher: "America? Whatever gave you that idea?"
Student: "Simple, We can always see the moon from China, but not America!"
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Teacher: "How do you like your new house?"
Student: "Oh, we like it very much. I have a room of my own, each of my sisters has a room of her own. But poor Mum, she's still in with Dad."
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Son: "Daddy, why did you put your thumb impression on my progress report instead of your signature?"

Father: "I don't want your teacher to think that anyone with your marks could possibly have a father who can read or write."
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thumbs upA Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing.
She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
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thumbs up

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.
Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
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A girl was yelling in the Church after the Chapel: "Oh God! Please make Moscow the Capital of China!"
The priest inquired: "Why must you pray so, my child?"
Girl: "That's what I've written in my answer sheet in the examination!"
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When the teacher entered the class all the boys were standing.
The teacher said: 'Now, all of you sit down except those who are absolutely dull and duffers?' All the boys sat down except John.
Teacher: 'Why Rajan? Are you absolutely dull and a duffer?'
John: 'No sir. The thing is that you were standing alone and it didn't look good to me.'
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A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home."

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Who signed the Declaration of Independence?

A little boy just couldn't learn. One day his teacher asked him who signed the Declaration of Independence. He didn't know. For almost a week she asked him the same question every day, but still he couldn't come up with the right answer.

Finally, in desperation, she called the boy's father to her office. "Your boy won't tell me who signed the Declaration of Independence," she complained.

"Come here, son, and sit down," the dad said to the boy. "Now if you signed that crazy thing, just admit it so we can get out of here!"