Jack's number

coldfire1x

Jack’s number

A caller dial the operator: Can you give me the telephone number for Jack? The operator says, "I am sorry, sir, I do not understand".

The caller continues, "On page 1 section 5 of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone jack before cleaning. Now, can you give the number for Jack?"

Chemistry class

During class, the chemistry professor was demonstrating the properties of various acids. "Now I’m going to drop this pure silver coin into this glass of acid. Will it dissolve?"

"No sir," one student called out.

"No?" queried the professor. "Perhaps you can explain why you’re so sure that the silver won’t dissolve in this particular acid."

"Because if it would, you wouldn’t have dropped it in!"

Same mistake

An employee walks into the accounts office and says, "What is the meaning of this. I have been paid $200 less than what was decided upon."

The accountant replies, "I know about it, but you did not complain when we paid $200 extra by mistake last month."

The employee snaps back, "Yeah, I can bear with occasional mistakes but when you make it a habit I think I need to report."

Negative words

The counsellor was giving advice: To gain self-confidence, you must avoid using negative words, such as "can’t" and "not". Do you think you can do that?"

The young man responded: "Well, I can’t see why not".

Dare anyone

A man was telling his friends, "When my wife is infuriated, she starts shouting at me, my children and even at our dogs and nobody dares answer her." One of his friends asked." And when you are angry, what do you do?"

The man replied, "I also shout angrily at the windows and doors of the house and none of them dares to answer back.