Financial value of pets

KTRIC

I know I'm going to appear like a right heartless b*llox posting this but I'd like some input from the general populace here.

During the past 2 years since we moved to Germany my now ex kept our cat at her mothers house much to my constant protest. Since she broke up with me about a month ago she has decided she wants to keep the cat. He is of great emotional value to me and costed us a lot in vet bills since he was born nearly 5 years ago due to some on going health issues.

I'm not trying to grab any money I can get but I feel I'm being hard done by. I know there is no way she would give back the cat and I put a lot of money and time into him and I'm loosing out.

Have I got any grounds for compensation from the ex for my loss ??

star-pants

I doubt you have much of a legal stand point. I mean, unless you have receipts and proof that you paid for X, Y and Z and went to the small claims courts with it, you probably don't have any come back. And that's even IF that's something that's possible. (I know zero about legalities). If you were in the USA I'm sure you could take her to court over it but no idea about here.

I understand you've had the cat a long time, but neither of ye have seen this cat/lived with it in two years? (you say you moved 2 years ago and the cats been living with her mother). Have you been paying the bills for the past two years? Or have ye both?
Do you want the cat or is it just reimbursement you're looking for?

KTRIC

We both paid for his food and vet bills over the past 2 years. We also see him a couple of times a month.

I know there is no way she'll give up the cat.

star-pants

Well... I mean, it's kinda between you and her then. If you say you want the cat and she says no, and you say that you want her to buy you out (for want of a better phrase), do you think she'll even consider it? Just it might make things very bitter.
I understand you put a lot of money into the cat and obviously care about it, but to me, that's what you do when you care about something and you don't do it to get something back.

If I had to move out/away, I know my two dogs would live at home, because they're part of the family and I wouldn't seek compensation for bills or buying them.
I know that's a lot different to a break up but what's the realistic view of her giving you money for the bills? Unless you want to fight for the ownership?

KTRIC

Thanks SP, puts it into perspective.

I want whats best for the cat but the same time I can't help feeling I've lost something special.

star-pants

I can only imagine how you must be feeling though.
A breakups hard enough without losing what was part of the family too. Silly as it may sound, maybe in time if you guys stay on good ish terms you can still visit the cat?
It must be hard deciding who gets the cat, I know I'd miss my two girls terribly if I moved out. But I guess if the cat is most at home where it is now, it's probably better for the cat to stay there. And if you think she really really wouldn't give up the cat, it might just cause more heartache to fight for it. I can understand why you'd want to though hun.

lrushe

My heart goes out to you, I have several pets with my bf and although only one of them is registered in both our names we both love all of them dearly, I'd hate to think what would happen if we ever split up. As weird as it might sound I think there would have to be some kind of visiting routine step up as neither of us could just walk away from them 'cold turkey' so to speak. As for the financial investment you made in the cat you may just have to cut your losses and chalk it up to experience, maybe knowing that your money helped the cat live a better, healthier life might make it a less bitter pill to swallow.

KTRIC

Unfortunately visitation rights will be out of the question as we're going to be on the opposite sides of Europe in a months time.

I suppose I can ask for some pics of him by email every once in a while.

star-pants

KTRIC wrote: »

I suppose I can ask for some pics of him by email every once in a while.

Of course you can!
I keep in touch with the woman who I bought my pup off every so often, I send photos and an update email on how she's getting on.

I think that's perfectly acceptable to ask for - doesn't have to be chatty or personal, just a lil update and some pics so you can still feel a part of his life.

lrushe

star-pants wrote: »

I keep in touch with the woman who I bought my pup off every so often, I send photos and an update email on how she's getting on.
quote]

Yep me too, I think its a perfectly reasonable request

Sigma Force

Main thing is is the cat's being looked after properly but as said do keep in touch with her and if you're ever near the area again pop in to say hello.

Money shouldn't come in to it as when you have pets together it's both responsibilities to care for the cat, she will now have to pay for the cat for the rest of the cats life including vet bills so in the long run so it's all the one financially esp. as cats can live for 20 odd years if they're lucky.

Never easy leaving a pet but if the cats now well settled, they don't like change much so the cat herself will be happy and content where she is.