Unwritten Rules Of Football

Photi

Been thinking about this recently, especially in light of recent furore.


If an African player scythes down an opponent, it’s jovially described as naive. If an Italian does the same, then it’s cynical and ruining the game.

Goalkeepers have to look mildly pissed-off with themselves after hitting a goal-kick.

Never describe anyone as having a cultured right foot.

Spitting at a player is somehow worse than ending their career with a horror challenge that breaks their leg in 47 places.

When a player is remonstrating with a linesman, the linesman is required to stand with his hands behind his back and pull an expression like he’s listening to a particularly stirring piece of classical music.

You can't run back into position after a corner without spitting at some point before the halfway.

When a goalkeeper makes a great save he cannot smile or celebrate, instead he has to glare or shout at a teammate.


I reckon this forum could make a good list here!

Liam O

anything goes as long as the ref doesn't see it (more true for amateur football I'd say;) )

Vurnon San Benito

Players always have to swear when they score, at least most goals I've seen anyway

TanG411

Doocey wrote: »

Players always have to swear when they score, at least most goals I've seen anyway

Players also have to swear when they miss

D2D

Larkin91 wrote: »

Players also have to swear when they miss

And put their hands on their head for no reason after a missed shot

kryogen

If a forward player comes anywhere near the goalkeeper while the ball is in the air, he is fouling him, no question, free out

Sometimes even if the goalie runs into his own player its a free out

mikemac

A player who blazes the penalty meters over the crossbar must kneel and inspect the penalty spot for bumps, divots and other issues. A furrowed brow and look of concentration like you are a greenkeeper at Augusta National is required too. I've done this

Ever notice the ref usually blows the final whistle when the ball is in the air from a long kick out from the goalkeeper or defender. Unwritten rule!
Have you ever seen the final whistle blown when a striker is clear through on goal and 3 seconds from shooting. Nope, the ball is usually in the air when the match ends

Two to three players will debate and fight over taking a free kick. They spent all week in training practising and assigning free kick duties! You'll see this in most games

gosplan

Every big striker is described at one time or another as having 'good feet'.

The undiscovered truth is that big men have similar feet to small men.

JPA

mikemac wrote: »

Ever notice the ref usually blows the final whistle when the ball is in the air from a long kick out from the goalkeeper or defender. Unwritten rule!
Have you ever seen the final whistle blown when a striker is clear through on goal and 3 seconds from shooting. Nope, the ball is usually in the air when the match ends

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBgnRNxxAdI

FearDark

Camera behind the goal line always has to do a close up of the ball just before a goal kick.

mikemac

Ah, JPA, with tens of thousands of matches of course anyone can get a youtube example.
It's not common so, I'll leave it at that

JPA

mikemac wrote: »

Ah, JPA, with tens of thousands of matches of course anyone can get a youtube example.
It's not common so, I'll leave it at that

You're right, I can't remember it happening before but that was this season and the fact he scored is worse.

mikemac

It was a good example JPA and you know your stuff to get an example so quickly. Fair play!

Getting a score disallowed due to the end of time happens all the time in basketball. In football, hardly ever happens

Guy:Incognito

Photi wrote: »

If an African player /Paul Scholes scythes down an opponent, it’s jovially described as naive. If an Italian does the same, then it’s cynical and ruining the game.

FYP.

GLaDOS

If you catch the ball as you go down under a challenge you'll get a free kick

ShooterSF

Defenders do not obstruct, they "usher the ball out of play".

Cake Man

It's essential for (usually African) players to bless themselves after having an attempt on goal.

A wild shot must always end up in Row Z.......not Row X, not Row Y, always Row Z!

SlickRic

you must appeal for every throw in.

everdead.ie

If a 'top4' team looses a match it's the ref's fault for not adding enough time/ couldn't spot a foul in the build up play

The_B_Man

no matter how close a shot is, the crowd always have to go "OOOOOH!". The same can also be said for when a keeper makes aspectacular dive to save the ball, even if its going more towarsd the corner flag than the goal!

sd08

mikemac wrote: »

Ever notice the ref usually blows the final whistle when the ball is in the air from a long kick out from the goalkeeper or defender. Unwritten rule!
Have you ever seen the final whistle blown when a striker is clear through on goal and 3 seconds from shooting. Nope, the ball is usually in the air when the match ends

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtFFqNIlPG8

6 minutes into this video would disagee with you.
Even worse than the Carlton Cole goal.

eZe^

SlickRic wrote: »

you must appeal for every throw in.

Not only that but you have to walk 30 yards upfield from where the ball actually went out before actually taking it. Hahaha, that's always done my head in.

Valmont

It's a safe bet to book diving Drogba every time he falls over, even if it looks like Johnny Evans just did a kung fu flying kick to his chest.

kincsem

If you score you must imitate a duck, antelope, or robot.

Xavi6

If you're foreign, or Micah Richards, and feeling the cold then you wear short sleeve shirts with gloves.

CHD

Any striker who is more than five yards offside must either wave a finger or abuse the linesman..

shane86

Probably most matches will end with whistle blown following the final kick out by the goalie as the ball approaches midfield. Really gotta wonder how accurate they are being!

Bandit12

If Wayne Rooney is taken off by ferguson and has one of his hissy fits it's because he just "loves playing the game so much and wants to stay on the pitch and give 100%". If almost any foreign player does similar it's a show of pechulance and disrespectful to the manager.

oldyouth

A foul throw can only be awarded in U12, U14 and U16 matches, never in a game involving professional players who take throw ins every day of the week

smcelhinney

Spitting through your nose is an art form that not all players have mastered

Point to throw in from = original point + (number of steps it takes for players to get into position x 2.3) reference material John O'Shea

smcelhinney

sd08 wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtFFqNIlPG8

6 minutes into this video would disagee with you.
Even worse than the Carlton Cole goal.

Oh my good god! In fairness though, apart from a slight protest, look at the grace of the players in yellow.

"Fair play ref, fair's fair.."

redout

oldyouth wrote: »

A foul throw can only be awarded in U12, U14 and U16 matches, never in a game involving professional players who take throw ins every day of the week

Evra got penalised for one just last week against Ireland.

matrim

redout wrote: »

Evra got penalised for one just last week against Ireland.

Evra got penalised for catching the ball before it went out of play, not for a foul throw

Fratton Fred

If Chelsea or Man City spend £25m on a player, they are buying the league title. If man united spend £25m on a player, they are enhancing their squad.

If Arsenal spend £25m on a player, the world will end.

Xavi6

JPA wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBgnRNxxAdI

Also happened to Marcus Gayle for Wimbledon in the FA Cup about 10 years ago against Wrexham. He headed in a corner in the last minute but the ref blew up as the ball was in the air.

MrStuffins

When you're a kid and playing in the street/park..........

You bring the ball past every player in the game, you bring the ball past the desperate keeper, you close in on goal, there's nobody near you so you stop on the line, get down on your knees and push the ball over the line with your head, only for someone to tell you of THIS unwritten rule..............

............ "That's dangerous play, that goal doesn't count" :mad:

keane2097

MrStuffins wrote: »

When you're a kid and playing in the street/park..........

You bring the ball past every player in the game, you bring the ball past the desperate keeper, you close in on goal, there's nobody near you so you stop on the line, get down on your knees and push the ball over the line with your head, only for someone to tell you of THIS unwritten rule..............

............ "That's dangerous play, that goal doesn't count" :mad:

To which your own team would always reply

"No way lads - penalty or goal".

The defending team never choose "goal".

monkey9

A corner is about to be taken, but before it is, the ref talks to two players in the box.
The corner is taken and as the ball travels in the air towards the penalty area, the ref then blows for a free out. Even if nothing happens, even if the ref hasn't spotted anything, he'll just blow up.

If you're African and play for Arsenal, always do a stupid dance when you score!!!! Right by the corner flag is an appropiate area for said dance

CR 7

If Gary Neville is on the pitch, he must take all throw ins, at all costs. Even if he has to sprint 70 yards cross field.

Boskowski

All corner takers must raise a hand before they take the kick regardless where they intend to kick the ball.

MrStuffins

The referee will take 10 minutes to count out the yards for the wall during a free kick and make sure that they are the proper distance and aren't using he little trick where they try shuffle towards the ball............

........ but players who are lined up beside them and aren't part of the wall can close down the ball as soon as the kicker starts his run up, sometimes being 2-3 yards away from the ball when it's struck!

MrStuffins

When someone is in their mid-late 30s and they're a player they're an old man (Giggs-36)

But when they're a manager they're a young-man (Guardiola-38)

CR 7

When Phil Brown does it, it's disgraceful.

When Jimmy Bullard does it, it's hilarious.

GLaDOS

the_pm_of_17 wrote: »

When Phil Brown does it, it's disgraceful.

When Jimmy Bullard does it, it's hilarious.

Maybe because Phil Brown actually gave out to his players and Bullard was doing it in jest?

Dozen Wicked Words

the_pm_of_17 wrote: »

If Gary Neville is on the pitch, he must take all throw ins, at all costs. Even if he has to labour 70 yards cross field.

FYP

CR 7

ScienceNerd wrote: »

Maybe because Phil Brown actually gave out to his players and Bullard was doing it in jest?

Now you're just making assumptions. About both events.:P

Fenix

'Obstruction' does not apply to defending players.

Eire-Dearg

When a big player is playing, it's mandatory the commentator says "he moves well for a big lad"

monkey9

Eire-Dearg wrote: »

When a big player is playing, it's mandatory the commentator says "he moves well for a big lad"

Or that he's got good feet

CR 7

Eire-Dearg wrote: »

When a big player is playing, it's mandatory the commentator says "he moves well for a big lad"

And "great touch/control for a big lad". Especially if it's Crouch.

MrStuffins

If a player is English with skill but a bit moody he's undisciplined

If a player is foreign (most likely French) and a bit moody he's "Mercurial"