Unwritten Rules Of Football

elshambo

Xavi6 wrote: »

If you're foreign, or Micah Richards, and feeling the cold then you wear short sleeve shirts with gloves.

Im afraid to tell you that doing this actually makes sense!:eek:

Frisbee

ScienceNerd wrote: »

If you catch the ball as you go down under a challenge you'll get a free kick

As Scott Parker proved to great effect today.

If your Arsene Wenger and you have a 16 year old on the bench your a great talent spotter.

If your David Moyes and have a 16 year old on the bench your 'down to the bare bones.'

mink_man

when an english players dives (rooney, gerrard etc) the commentators never make a comment but when drogba or ronaldo dive they should get a yellow!

DazMarz

After a match, the camera operator moves to capture the defeated team's fans, in particular a crying child.

Chardee MacDennis

mink_man wrote: »

when an english players dives (rooney, gerrard etc) the commentators never make a comment but when drogba or ronaldo dive they should get a yellow!

or it's referred to as an 'alleged dive' for the english players!

monkey9

DazMarz wrote: »

After a match, the camera operator moves to capture the defeated team's fans, in particular a crying child.

Only when they're relegated!!!

Helix

for particularly heavy defeats they show a 5 second shot of the scoreboard near the end, just in case you missed the fact that the score is in the top left hand corner of your screen for the entirety of the game

Skid

The word 'wicked' must ever only be used in football commentary to a describe a deflection.

liamygunner29

African goalies wear tracksuit bottoms instead of pants and are unbelivable shot stoppers but woeful at fielding.

When a player makes a great assist only to see a teammate tap the ball in, he must stand well away from the celebrating players and wait for them to come over and individually congratulate him.

When a player has conceded a free kick, he must pick up the ball and run several yards before dropping it behind him without looking. When a free kick is awarded and the referee places the ball in the required spot, it is essential to pick it up and place it down again at least six inches further forward, ideally with a backspin motion.

When water bottles are thrown on to the pitch while a teammate is receiving treatment, players must always squirt some out on to the grass before taking a sip.

Keepers must use the special adhesive power of saliva by spitting into their gloves as much as possible during games. They should also kick the soles of their boots against the post at least three times in each half.


Fourth officials should always be of a smiling disposition when trying to calm infuriated managers back into the dugout.

Chardee MacDennis

liamygunner29 wrote: »

Keepers must use the special adhesive power of saliva by spitting into their gloves as much as possible during games. They should also kick the soles of their boots against the post at least three times in each half.

hmm dunno about this one, like saying footballers tie their laces before games...

Rondolfus

As Michael McIntyre observed, in post match interviews footballers MUST always confirm what happened "at the end of the day."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOBP_5m5_NM

mink_man

liamygunner29 wrote: »

African goalies wear tracksuit bottoms instead of pants and are unbelivable shot stoppers but woeful at fielding.

When a player makes a great assist only to see a teammate tap the ball in, he must stand well away from the celebrating players and wait for them to come over and individually congratulate him.

When a player has conceded a free kick, he must pick up the ball and run several yards before dropping it behind him without looking. When a free kick is awarded and the referee places the ball in the required spot, it is essential to pick it up and place it down again at least six inches further forward, ideally with a backspin motion.

When water bottles are thrown on to the pitch while a teammate is receiving treatment, players must always squirt some out on to the grass before taking a sip.

Keepers must use the special adhesive power of saliva by spitting into their gloves as much as possible during games. They should also kick the soles of their boots against the post at least three times in each half.


Fourth officials should always be of a smiling disposition when trying to calm infuriated managers back into the dugout.

brilliant!