The Alphabet Game!!

Wichita Lineman

Dates

Eeden

Endive

coolhull

figs

jake is right

Gooseberries

gammygils

Hash

aloyisious

Ivy

coolhull

juniper berries

jake is right

Kale

coolhull

leeks

jake is right

Mushrooms

Wichita Lineman

nuts

coolhull

olives

Wichita Lineman

potatoes

coolhull

kumQuats ....best I could do

monkeynuz

Raspberries

coolhull

sorrel leaves

Wichita Lineman

turnips

Gipo3

Umbrella Tree

Eeden

Vines

jake is right

Water. Cress

gammygils

Xmas Trees

Guill

Yams

jake is right

Zucchini

Guill

How about bad jokes?

A man walks into a Bar. Ouch.

gammygils

Bear walks into a bar

"Can I have a..................... beer"

Barman : "OK. Why the long paws?"

TheSelf

What does a pizza delivery boy and a gynaecologist have in common?

They can smell it but they can't eat it.

Wichita Lineman

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's Novocain during root canal work?

He wanted to transcend dental medication.

coolhull

Ethiopia don't sell Flintstone DVDs.
But Abu Dhabi do

gammygils

French gamblers. They hate Toulouse!

coolhull

Girls in France don't appreciate Irishmen's dangly bits. They're Toulon!

Guill

Have you heard about the magic car? It went down the road and turned in a house!

Eeden

I'm selling my hoover on ebay. Well, it's only gathering dust! (Tim Vine)

coolhull

Joan nudged her husband. "See that fella over there ? When I split up with him 20 years ago he took to the drink and he hasn't stopped drinking since."
" Good Lord" said the husband, "20 years is a long to spend celebrating".

gammygils

Knock Knock
Who's there
Ach
Ach who?
O Bless you

coolhull

"The German Bank Robbery"

by Hans Upp

Wichita Lineman

My mother-in-law is a well balanced person. She's got a chip on BOTH shoulders.

coolhull

Did you hear about the fella that drowned in a bowl of muesli?


A strong currant pulled him in........( I know, I know )

gammygils

Nun at Confessions and a nun in the bath. What's the difference?

Well. One has a soul full of hope and the other a hole full of soap!

coolhull

Oscar Pistorious was almost certainly guilty.

Sure he hadn't a leg to stand on

Mongarra

Please do not throw cigarette ends in the urinals. It makes them too hard to re-light.

Guill

Question: What do you call a boy named Lee that no one talks to?
Answer: Lonely

coolhull

Ready, steady, go. . .

What do you call two rows of green vegetables?






A dual cabbage-way.


* I'll get my coat *

Eeden

So this cowboy walks in to a German car showroom and he says "Audi!" (Tim Vine again - master of one-liners!)

And yes, I get that starting with "so" is cheating a bit....

gammygils

Tortoise walks into a bar with a girl on it's back and orders a drink.
Barman says 'Do you know there's a girl on your back? "
"Oh that" says the tortoise

"That's Michelle!"

coolhull

U probably heard this one..(yeah, I know!)

Knock, knock
'Who's there?'
'Doorbell repair man'

gammygils

Very unlucky man lost all his fingers in a machine accident.
"You do realise that if you brought them in we could have stitched them back on" said the A&E doctor
"I know" replied the man "But I couldn't pick 'em up!"

Chareth Cutestory

What does a nosey pepper do?

Get jalapeño business.

Eeden

X-ray joke:

coolhull

You know you're addicted to the internet when you start giving your address as: url//http.123.blue.street//html

Eeden

I went to the Zoo and asked if they had any talking parrots.

The Zookeeper said they didn't; but they did have a woodpecker who knew Morse Code.

(I know, I know! best I could do! Now someone else come up with the next topic.....)