If your other half were crippeled, would you stay with them?

Capt'n Midnight

Just exactly how much compo would they be entitled to ?

€_€

Tar.Aldarion

helimachoptor wrote: »

I think while everyone may have the best intentions the reality may be some what different. If it's temporay paraylsis for a few months but you know there is light at the end of the tunnell I think most people could handle that.

However if you get told at 20/30 that your partner will never walk again and you'll need to help them go to the toilet, feed them change them when they soil themselves for the rest of your lives that may be tough for a lot of people.

My grandparents were married for 55 odd years and see was diagnosed with Parkinsons, she deteriorated pretty quick but everyday he was there until he died. Anything she needed he did. My Gfs granny has MS and has been wheelchair bound for 40 years. Her granddad was the same, all day everyday he took care of her. Though she went into a nursing home for 2 weeks a year to give him a holiday

Honestly I'd like to be 100% sure i'd stay but i'm not.

Would depend how long you are together and if you are in lvoe with them or not

It wouldn't have a bear on a relationship for me personally.

RedNiamhy

My mother suffers from Dementia and is only in her mid 50s. I can't believe everything my Dad does for her. He is so patient and has given up enjoying his retirement and all the plans they made to take care of her. It's hard enough for the rest of us to see her like she is but he has to cope with that as well as taking care of her and having no time for himself.

I wouldn't hold it against my Dad if he walked away, and believe me, it's not the easy option!

5 years ago I would have had a totally different opinion on the matter but you really don't know what you'd do unless you are in the situation yourself.

The most devistating thing is it's only going to get worse, my Dad is going to get older and less able to manage her and difficult decisions are going to have to be made.

Le King

I would but sure that's coz I'm a nice guy!

994

Moonbaby wrote: »

It wouldn't have a bear on a relationship for me personally.

I thought you said "I wouldn't have a bear in a relationship with me personally." when I first read. Their fur is so cuddly, and they're very loyal

spoofilyj

Wow this is a depressing topic!

I'd like top think that If I was in love with the Girl and was going out a fair while that I would stay, but as has been said its a tough one and you dont really know how you would cope give the situation.

Nasty one. Oh and that Drink Driving ad is the saddest I've heard so far hopefully the message is being received...

Agent Smith

Arcade Panda wrote: »

If you love someone you would never leave them. True love runs deeper then a broken spine.

But as Sting sang, "If you love somebody, set them free"

AckwelFoley

Deleted User wrote: »

I would like to think I would, in fact my husband could very easily be in a wheelchair right now, he spent a month in hospital after a car crash.

I reckon that most couples who break up after that sort of thing, do it not because of the physical disability, but of the stress that comes with it, I think that the person with the disability might become so angry/upset/depressed that it would make life extremely difficult for the other person, they would also probably try to push their partner away.

I wouldn't ever judge someone until I have walked a mile in their shoes though.

i had been thinking of that myself too and would think that it is very likely as to what may happen in alot of cases.

keefg

Deleted User wrote: »

I wouldn't ever judge someone until I have walked a mile in their shoes though.

I know this is a serious thread but when you look at the title your choice of words did make me laugh a bit .

Gummy Panda

994 wrote: »

I thought you said "I wouldn't have a bear in a relationship with me personally." when I first read. Their fur is so cuddly, and they're very loyal

Yep, we are.

keefg

keefg wrote: »

I know this is a serious thread but when you look at the title your choice of words did make me laugh a bit .

haha, I knew after I hit reply there would be someone who picked up on that

Xavi6

ejmaztec wrote: »

You'd have to be a real sh1t to walk away.

Especially if they couldn't....

arybvtcw0eolkf

minidazzler wrote: »

I honestly don't know, I have spent the last 7 years of my life and then some taking care of my little sister who is wheelchair bound.

I don;t know if I could do it for my whole life with someone who I was in a relationship is.

It is mentally and physically exhausting.

So, I really don't know.

I was tempted to post something smart or funny, then read this post and remembered a photo you posted of you and your sister and how touching I found it at the time (still do when I think about it) - and thought better of it.

My own story, when I was engaged to be married myself and the OH were knocked down by a hit & run driver. I escaped with cuts and bruises, she broke the second and third vertibrea in her neck.

The doctors explained that her condition was critical, how she's lucky she wasn't killed and that there's a massive chance of paralysis.

Tbh it never occurred to me at the time that we'd be facing a future together with her handicap, I loved her and that was that.

But the god's were smiling on us that day, she made an almost complete recovery but it took years.

Tbh, our future is not guaranteed 'in sickness & in health' and all that. I think if you truely love your partner you'll stick it out.

WindSock

Hard to say really. If it was him being in a wheelchair I would. However if he got brain damaged and or his personality changed then I don't know if I could.

mahamageehad

keefg wrote: »

I know this is a serious thread but when you look at the title your choice of words did make me laugh a bit .

Lol

minidazzler

Howard Delightful Plaza wrote: »

I was tempted to post something smart or funny, then read this post and remembered a photo you posted of you and your sister and how touching I found it at the time (still do when I think about it) - and thought better of it.

My own story, when I was engaged to be married myself and the OH were knocked down by a hit & run driver. I escaped with cuts and bruises, she broke the second and third vertibrea in her neck.

The doctors explained that her condition was critical, how she's lucky she wasn't killed and that there's a massive chance of paralysis.

Tbh it never occurred to me at the time that we'd be facing a future together with her handicap, I loved her and that was that.

But the god's were smiling on us that day, she made an almost complete recovery but it took years.

Tbh, our future is not guaranteed 'in sickness & in health' and all that. I think if you truely love your partner you'll stick it out.

You better make that joke now!! I need my Lulz, I'm minding her this morning and she is PMSing like crazy!! make me laugh!

Glad to hear your wife had such a recovery!:)

Quality

I couldn't picture my life without Mr Quality in it.

I love him...

He is the ying to my yang.

The John to my Edward.

The..... You get the picture!!

Acacia

I don't know, I could't possibly answer and I hope I never have to. I would think 'fair play' or whatever to someone who did say with their partner if they were crippled but I also wouldn't judge somebody for leaving, because it's an extremely difficult siuation to be in.

On a related note,I remember seeing a programme about a woman who cared for her husband who had Alzheimer's. She'd been looking after him for ten years with him gradually getting more and more frail as the years passed. By the end of it, he was like a baby, couldn't talk or move or do anything for himself. But she stayed with him til the very end. It must be horrible to watch the love of your life just gradually deteriorate like that. You think your life is bad and then you see something like that. Puts things in perspective.

AckwelFoley

Quality wrote: »

The John to my Edward.

The..... You get the picture!!

I read that as "the John in my edward"

Didnt look well.

Lux23

It depends really, if you really loved them I don't think it would be all that easy to walk away.

AckwelFoley

WindSock wrote: »

Hard to say really. If it was him being in a wheelchair I would. However if he got brain damaged and or his personality changed then I don't know if I could.

How about the onset of alzeimers or Dementia . My bitch fiance is a homecare worker and sees a few people with it in a relitively young age late 50s. The spouse are there still with them but in many many cases find it difficult to stay, because its difficult to deal with at the best of times.

Tar.Aldarion

snyper wrote: »

I read that as "the John in my edward"

Didnt look well.

Doesn't look good as written anyway!

civis_liberalis

snyper wrote: »

Do you know the advert for drinking and driving on tv? The guy that talks about his life.. captain of the football team, a lovely fiance and then i lost it all because i drove while drunk,, and " its ironic now i always talk like im drunk"

Personally, I think I would do my best to stay with a partner that was left wheelchair bound.

I think that if the person's personality had changed, I would find it difficult as they would not be the person that I was first attracted to. I think each situation is different really.

I know of the person in the ad and I think while it is a terrible situation, I find it hard to blame the girl for not staying with him. It's just such an extreme situation. Hopefully, none of us will ever really know what we would do in her place. It's very easy to give opinion, but put in the same situation...

Long Onion

It's not actually her fault that she left him. I happen to know that she developed a deep seated phobia of Daleks some years back, subsequently she couldn't help thinking that she was being poled by a boozed up Davros.

"Ex, terminate."

Calibos

Used to have neighbours in the house behind and every other day you would hear the husband getting screamed at and called every name under the sun. The wife was crippled with MS and wheelchair bound but the husband seemed really attentive and yet he still got treated like ****. I'd have been long gone and told her to go F*** herself and rot for all I care. Till death do us part my arse.

So if I was in love with the person and they didn't take out the depression after the accident on me then I'd stay with them. I mean I'd put up with depression and abuse for a few years but if it didn't stop after that amount of time when the person had a chance to get used to their new circumstances, well I'd be off.

Calibos

Calibos wrote: »

Used to have neighbours in the house behind and every other day you would hear the husband getting screamed at and called every name under the sun. The wife was crippled with MS and wheelchair bound but the husband seemed really attentive and yet he still got treated like ****. I'd have been long gone and told her to go F*** herself and rot for all I care. Till death do us part my arse.

So if I was in love with the person and they didn't take out the depression after the accident on me then I'd stay with them. I mean I'd put up with depression and abuse for a few years but if it didn't stop after that amount of time when the person had a chance to get used to their new circumstances, well I'd be off.

I do get what you're saying. Honestly.

But you've no idea what that woman was going through, she was probably trying to get her husband to leave out of sheer guilt!

People don't choose to have depression, and alot of the time, there is very little they can do about it.

civis_liberalis

civis_liberalis wrote: »

I know of the person in the ad and I think while it is a terrible situation, I find it hard to blame the girl for not staying with him. It's just such an extreme situation. Hopefully, none of us will ever really know what we would do in her place. It's very easy to give opinion, but put in the same situation...

I think the guy in the ad's situation is different too in that he caused this by his wreckless behaviour (I'm not trying to cause offence btw). Had he been in an accident caused by someone else's drink driving, the fiance may well have stayed with him, but the fact that he put her in the situation by his selfishness is probably what caused her to leave, rather than the actual disability. I'm sure she must be so angry at him for ruining her life too (again, not trying to be mean or cause offence!)

civis_liberalis

Deleted User wrote: »

People don't choose to have depression, and alot of the time, there is very little they can do about it.

Definitely. People who suffer from depression often deliberately push their loved ones away.

Idjit

There would be no question for me. I'd stay even if the accident had caused my OH to become a complete vegetable.

minidazzler

Jade182 wrote: »

There would be no question for me. I'd stay even if the accident had caused my OH to become a complete vegetable.

It would probably be easier if they went into a vegetative state.

There would not be quite as much man handling, for the toilet and such.

shqipshume

I know someone who was in car crash and lost power of legs gf of three years dumped him.Another girl who always liked him asked him out and he said yes.Ex got wind of this and asked him back with her:rolleyes: She stayed with him for another six months and then dumped him again after doing dirt on him for whole time.
In answer to question no matter how much they pushed be it what ever injury i would not leave.

Sheepy99

ejmaztec wrote: »

You'd have to be a real sh1t to walk away.

You'd have to be a real sh1t to stay.:cool:

The_Minister

Deleted User wrote: »

I think the guy in the ad's situation is different too in that he caused this by his wreckless behaviour (I'm not trying to cause offence btw). Had he been in an accident caused by someone else's drink driving, the fiance may well have stayed with him, but the fact that he put her in the situation by his selfishness is probably what caused her to leave, rather than the actual disability. I'm sure she must be so angry at him for ruining her life too (again, not trying to be mean or cause offence!)

In fairness, it wasn't exactly wreck-less....