Teenage bedtimes

MadMoss

Hi there,
Would anyone have any opinions on the appropriate bedtime for a 15 year old, both weeknight and weekend?
Should the parents lay down the law, or should we be a bit liberal and let the teenager go whenever they feel tired themselves?
It's causing agro with a teenager at the moment.

Thanks for any advice.

spookymuffin

I'd lay down the law on school nights and be a little more liberal when they don't have to get up early the next morning. Kids still need some boundries at that age even as you begin to give them freedom.

I am only 22 myself but this is pretty much how my parents dealt with me during the terrible teens and it worked well.

Quality

Oh I remember when I was a teenager.. My body needed sooo much sleep.. I could sleep for hours on end.

I think that a teenager should be having between 9 and 10 hours sleep a night minimum...

So if they are up at 8 that means bed by 10-10.30

TelePaul

Quality wrote: »

Oh I remember when I was a teenager.. My body needed sooo much sleep.. I could sleep for hours on end.

I think that a teenager should be having between 9 and 10 hours sleep a night minimum...

So if they are up at 8 that means bed by 10-10.30

Waaay too much IMO. I was up for school at 7, so that would've meant bed by 9. As a teenager? Crazy talk. I'm fairly sure I grew out of it, and as I began to realise for myself that I would require sleep when tired, it became less and less of an issue for my parents.

8 hours is ideal, sure, but once you're asleep around midnight, I think you're fine. If you're gonna insist on bed time for a 15 year old, I'd say bed by 11pm, asleep by 12. Weekends, I wouldn't bother unless there's an early morning start for sports. In that case, a few gentle reminders.

Moonbeam

I went to boarding school and in 3rd year lights out was 10,I think in 5th and 6th year it is a lot harder but I think 10/11 is fair for a 15 year old.

The Big Red Button

In my opinion, you're going to have so many fights with a teenager, that bedtime is one of those areas that just isn't worth the hassle! I mean, if they're that stubborn, they'll make a point of staying awake late anyways to spite you, even if they are in bed!

It makes more sense to use the bedtime as leverage in other areas.

E.g.:
As long as they are in their bedroom from 12.00 at night Sunday to Thursday, they can stay out until 02.00 Friday and Saturday?

Or maybe adjust that a little to suit you. My parents were pretty liberal really, looking back, although it didn't seem like that at the time!

But, by the way, since "bedtime" was never a major issue with my parents ... it is one thing that I never felt the urge to "rebel" against!! Something to keep in mind perhaps?

maryjane007

around 9.30 i tell mine to get what they want from the kitchen (drink, cereal etc) and start getting ready for bed they head up to their rooms and listen to music or watch tv until they fall asleep.i dont have to tell them to get into bed and go asleep because theyre exhausted theyre usually asleep by half ten.

mumto3

maryjane007 wrote: »

around 9.30 i tell mine to get what they want from the kitchen (drink, cereal etc) and start getting ready for bed they head up to their rooms and listen to music or watch tv until they fall asleep.i dont have to tell them to get into bed and go asleep because theyre exhausted theyre usually asleep by half ten.

same here,when i was younger i meen,i had to leave the sitting room at 9,but could get something quick to eat,and head to my room and watch tv or whatever,it was up to me when lights went out

stovelid

Enforced bedtime on school-nights is fine, but I'd be inclined to let a 15 year old do their own thing bedtime-wise at the weekends.

amdublin

chatterpillar wrote: »

E.g.:
As long as they are in their bedroom from 12.00 at night Sunday to Thursday, they can stay out until 02.00 Friday and Saturday?

Midnight seems very late to me for a child who has a full day of school the next day?

Ickle Magoo

As a compromise, I had to be in my room by 9 or so but I chose when I went to sleep. My folks would always check on me on their way to bed and see if I was okay if the light was still on. At the weekend it was room by 11, later if there was something specific on TV/party/etc. It was just a general rule and not rigidly enforced unless I had a test or exam or something the next day.

muckety

Our 15 yr old doesn't have a set 'bed-time' but we've discussed his getting enough sleep during the school week so he takes himself off to bed at 10.30 most nights. Fri/Sat I don't worry about, he can sleep on in the morning! I think his being consulted made 'his' decision to go at 10.30pm on school nights that bit easier.

Kosseegan

Teenagers need the same amount of sleep as 8 year olds. However like adults they do not feel tired unti nearly midnight. Most teenagers get too little sleep on schooldays and that is why they stay in bed all day at weekends and on holidays. School performance improves the more sleep they have had the night before. Studies have show that the later in the day they start school the better they perform. Teenagers should get at least 10 hours sleep on a schoolday.

pickarooney

I don't remember ever having been imposed a bedtime. I always went to bed when I felt I needed to, about 11-11.30 or so. It was never an issue.

bogtotty

On schoolnights: homework to be finished by 9pm. Then snacktime, maybe an hour of tv and off to the bedroom by 10pm. After that, usually there'd be a bit of reading, texting or listening to music. No tvs or computers allowed in the bedroom, that's asking for trouble. And coming up to exam time or if there was a girlfriend on the scene the mobile phone had to be left with me, as the wee git would stay up half the night texting and be wrecked the next day. That was a bit of a battle, but had to be done.
Non-schoolnights: home by 12.30, bed by 2 unless there's a special occasion.

betterlife

I think the 'bed-time' should be 10pm or so at weeknights, and 11pm or so at weekends. But enforced bedtime is not necessary. The parents should lead by example.

seamus

For the sake of an easy life and your child's "image" I think 10pm is too early for bed and just about pushing it for a "curfew". When I was 15, there were a number of activites I attended which didn't end until 10pm and then I walked 30 minutes home with my mates. I'd often be up watching TV then till 11.30 or so. My family are night owls though so even at midnight I wouldn't be the last in bed. At 15, the child shouldn't be up when the parents have gone to bed. At 16/17 that's more acceptable.

If you insisted your child was home by 9pm, they'd get an almighty slagging from their mates, though 10pm is more reasonable. Remember that it will be largely dictated by their friends - so if they all have to be home by 10/10.30, your child isn't going to stay out on their own. Maybe talk to the parents of his/her mates and see what they do - co-ordinate yourselves.

Dragging yourself out of bed, bleary-eyed for school and sleeping for 16 hours on the weekend are all parts of being a teenager

TheCandystripes

im a teen too 1 am should be fine

MelissaLahive

When I was a teenager I always rebelled against bedtime but looking back, my parents were more than fair. It went from 10 to 11 to 12 as I went from 14 to 15 to 16 with a weekend bedtime varying from 12 to 2am depending on if there was a movie on. When I hit 17 I was basically allowed to choose myself

Noffles

It's like reading something from Victorian Values here... Teenagers should do this and teenagers should do that... try telling the little ****ers and see how far it gets you...

We let ours basically do what he wants around bed time and even if he does go to his room it'll not be to sleep he'll be on his laptop... So all you Preachy McPreachers would go in turn the light off and turn off the laptops etc etc... good luck with that

We do hint that he should go to sleep as he'll be tired...

gcgirl

Noffles wrote: »

It's like reading something from Victorian Values here... Teenagers should do this and teenagers should do that... try telling the little ****ers and see how far it gets you...

We let ours basically do what he wants around bed time and even if he does go to his room it'll not be to sleep he'll be on his laptop... So all you Preachy McPreachers would go in turn the light off and turn off the laptops etc etc... good luck with that

We do hint that he should go to sleep as he'll be tired...

I would have to agree My own teenage yrs were my own choice which brings me back to watching Prisoner cell block H and Highlander the mini series they were always on late but i was always on time for school, @ 15 they are young adults and should should be treated like them! They should be adult enough to know their own limitations!

Kosseegan

Noffles wrote: »

try telling the little ****ers and see how far it gets you...


.

If they felt a cane on their bottoms once in a while they would soon do as they are told.

eviltwin

Kosseegan wrote: »

If they felt a cane on their bottoms once in a while they would soon do as they are told.

Not exactly an option once they hit their teens....

I have a preteen and she goes to bed at 11 on a weeknight and about 12 on a weekend.

Its not a big issue really. She knows the weeknight curfew is enforced because she has school so there are no exceptions but on a weekend we might extended it slightly depending on the situation

When I was growing up I was given the option of choosing my own bedtimes at weekends and would regulary stay up until the wee small hours and of course be wrecked all day afterwards so while I think a bit of freedom is okay you still need to have limits

Gavin "shels"

I'd say no bedtimes, just make sure you have them up for school in the morning. Eventually over a few days they'll realise getting 6 hours sleep and having to go to school is not worth the hassle and they'll go to bed earlier by themselves. Being a teenager is all about making mistakes and learning from them.

Kosseegan

eviltwin wrote: »

Not exactly an option once they hit their teens....

Needs to be started when they are 10.

eviltwin

Kosseegan wrote: »

Needs to be started when they are 10.

Corporal punishment shouldn't really be needed at such a late age but I guess thats another argument in itself

anathea

My teenage nieces of 14 and 16 start preparing for bed at 8.30 and are in bed by 9 during the school week. My sister sets an hour of study, and a half an hour of housework ,before school in the morning so they have to get up at 6.30. They both do well at school.