Working away from home with a 1 year old child - any advice?

Sleepy

After getting made redundant due to the downturn I've been forced to take work in the UK, commuting over and back on Friday and Sunday evenings. We're not in a position to relocate here as a family and, even if we were, there'd be little point to it as it's just a 3 month contract.

Has anyone got any experience of this before? I'm a bit worried by the fact I'm only going to see my daughter for a day and a half or so a week. She'll be in bed by the time I get in on a Friday and when I put her to bed on Sunday's I'm not going to get to see her again til the next Saturday morning.

As time goes by, there may be opportunity to work some days from home, fly home early on Friday etc. but it's not really an option just yet. About the only upside of the time spent unemployed after my redundancy was getting to spend so much time with her and I'm worried that it'll affect her bond with me when I'm gone so much... I can remember my little brother not letting our father put him to bed when he wasn't much older because Dad was working such long hours at the time and that kind of thing would kill me. Up til now, I've put her down to sleep almost every night since she was born.

Any tips? Suggestions?

Davidth88

Hi,

I too have worked away from home quite a bit . Now it's not every week but enough to understand I think.

Is it not possible to commute on the red-eye on Monday morning ? ( may not be geographically possible but just a thought ).

It's hard , there is no getting away from that . But you have to remember you are feeding your family , thats the most important thing.

You will have the knowledge that your little girl has a caring home. Phone home EVERY day , and insist on speaking to the little one , now at 1 year it will mean nothing but at least she will hear your voice.

The 3 months will fly by , I hope you either find new employment soon or whatever

Good luck

David

Nevyn

Make sure there are picutres of you around and of you and her so that she can point to or have you pointed out to her during the week. Make a recording of your self reading to her for bed time so she will still hear your voice and bring pics for yourself.

I am sure this won't be wasy on any of the family but it's jut for a while.

Ickle Magoo

It's a really tough situation, one we may be looking at in the not to distant future. Regardless of how your daughter handles the separation, you have to keep keep it in mind that you are doing it for the benefit of your family and it is only a short term solution caused by the current climate. Kids usually adapt quite quickly - maybe you could set up a time when you could see her & chat to her & she can see you chatting via webcam?

eviltwin

1 year old is very young - hopefully young enough that it won't have much of an impact - but I would be very wary of doing it with an older child.

Back in the 80's my dad went to work in the UK for three months. I was 9 at the time and it was a horrible experience for me and my siblings. He came home every second weekend and rang every few days but its not the same as having your dad there where you need him. I know my mum found it really hard too being the sole parent while he was away.

He came back after the three months and managed to get work here and I dont think its had any lasting impact on me but I can still very clearly remember the times when I just wanted my dad and he wasnt there. Phones and internet are no comparision to your dad being there in person.

Obviously money is an issue here and a lot of us are being forced to make tough decisions re finances but I dont think however bad it got for me that I could ever split the family up. Some things are just too important.

MelissaLahive

My husband was away recently and could only make it back once a month and then it was for just 3 days. He was heartbroken but we kept loads of pics of him around the house and he always made sure he read my son and daughters their bed time stories over the phone. We also were on skype with him every other day and having him on webcam really helped. We even had the laptop at the dinner table with us some nights so he could "almost" have a family meal with us.

You'll soon find when your return that it will be as if you have never been away at all. Kids live in the now so you being gone wont even register with them once you are home