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Paraprosdokians- "She got her good looks from her father, he's a plastic surgeon".

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  • 02-12-2009 2:29am
    #1
    tech77
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,736 ✭✭✭


    I'll give this another go.
    Anyone have any good paraprosdokians?
    Groucho Marx used them a lot (i think it's why he was so funny tbh).
    Mitch Hedberg seemed to as well.

    Basically, wordplay where the second part of the statement changes the entire meaning of the sentence in a humourous way.

    Homer Simpson: "If i could just say a few words... i'd be a better public speaker".

    Love the Groucho Marx one in the title btw.


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    #2
    dynamopiev
    Closed Accounts Posts: 60 ✭✭dynamopiev


    He's a dark horse isn't he; black beauty


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    #3
    dynamopiev
    Closed Accounts Posts: 60 ✭✭dynamopiev


    he's a hard faced bastard isn't he; the man in the iron mask


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    #4
    Sharpshooter
    Registered Users Posts: 31,859 ✭✭✭✭Sharpshooter


    Moved From After Hours at OPs request.


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    #5
    OutlawPete
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,689 ✭✭✭✭OutlawPete


    Sharpshooter wrote: »
    Moved From After Hours at OPs request.

    *looks around"

    I was never on this forum before. I may stay :)

    Here's one ..

    "I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my father, not screaming and terrified like his passengers" - Bob Monkhouse


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    #6
    OutlawPete
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,689 ✭✭✭✭OutlawPete


    Another ..

    "You can always count on Americans to do the right thing - after they've tried everything else" - Winston Churchill


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    #7
    tech77
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,736 ✭✭✭tech77


    "When somebody close to you dies, move seats".
    Jimmy Carr.


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    #8
    OutlawPete
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,689 ✭✭✭✭OutlawPete


    "Where there's a will, I want to be in it."


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    #9
    OutlawPete
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,689 ✭✭✭✭OutlawPete


    Another Groucho Marx one ..

    "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."


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    #10
    tossy
    Registered Users Posts: 9,590 ✭✭✭tossy


    Youtube stewart francis he is the modern day king of the Paraprosdokian.


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    #11
    OutlawPete
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,689 ✭✭✭✭OutlawPete


    tossy wrote: »
    Youtube stewart francis he is the modern day king of the Paraprosdokian.

    Did you not bring a link with you??

    Go and get one .. hurry back :)


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    #12
    folan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,630 ✭✭✭folan


    OutlawPete wrote: »
    Another Groucho Marx one ..

    "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."

    Ah, that was mine! now ive to go and try to be clever!

    And yet another Groucho Marx one
    Outside of a dog, a book is a mans best friend. Inside of a dog, its too dark to read.


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    #13
    marcsignal
    Registered Users Posts: 4,072 ✭✭✭marcsignal


    I'd rather work for a hundred Israeli soldiers for free, than work for 1 Palestinian and be paid 5 grand.








    I'm a grave digger :cool:

    .


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    #14
    dak
    Registered Users Posts: 2,577 ✭✭✭dak


    Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, you will be a mile away and he won’t have any shoes


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    #15
    youtheman
    Registered Users Posts: 1,284 ✭✭✭youtheman


    OutlawPete wrote: »
    "Where there's a will, I want to be in it."

    Where there's a will, there's relations


    Hickory Dickory Dock
    Three mice ran up a clock
    The clock struck one ........
    And the other two escaped with minor injuries


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    #16
    marcsignal
    Registered Users Posts: 4,072 ✭✭✭marcsignal


    "I never forget a face, but in your case i'll make an exception"

    Groucho Marx ;)


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    #17
    Bearhunter
    Registered Users Posts: 656 ✭✭✭Bearhunter


    I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my father. Not screaming and terrified like his passengers.


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    #18
    OutlawPete
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,689 ✭✭✭✭OutlawPete


    Bearhunter wrote: »
    I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my father. Not screaming and terrified like his passengers.

    Or another one I like ..

    "He was a great reader, for a blind man" - OutlawPete :D

    Just made that up ;)
    OutlawPete wrote: »
    "I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my father, not screaming and terrified like his passengers" - Bob Monkhouse


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