Heavily pregnant and still smoking and drinking

Johnnio13

A nurse my wife works with (cancer nurse) continues to smoke 25-30 B+H a day and does not think twice about drinking double scotch and cokes on a night out.
This boils my blood....she should know better, have respect for the child she is carrying and should know the long term effects on both her and her baby!!
This person also spent a considerable amount of time "trying" to get pregnant and tries to disguise the smoking with perfume which makes it worse.
Patients have even complained.

This is a rant but holy sh%t does the woman not care at all!!

Nevyn

There is no law about sticking a fork in your eye and there is no law about smoking and drinking while pregnant.
This is unfortunate but alas it is the facts of the matter.

lalalulu

I have to say it's not really any of your business, sorry op.. If this lady's child is born with defects or if she goes in to premature labour because of what she's doing then it will be she who has to deal with the consequences. She will have to deal with a possible special need's child and live with the fact that she caused it.. Sad but such is life, there's nowt ya can do...

themysteriouson

Johnnio13 wrote: »

A nurse my wife works with (cancer nurse) continues to smoke 25-30 B+H a day and does not think twice about drinking double scotch and cokes on a night out.
This boils my blood....she should know better, have respect for the child she is carrying and should know the long term effects on both her and her baby!!
This person also spent a considerable amount of time "trying" to get pregnant and tries to disguise the smoking with perfume which makes it worse.
Patients have even complained.

This is a rant but holy sh%t does the woman not care at all!!

It really is rediculous how someone who obviously was trying to get pregnant would then treat their unborn child with such disregard as to put their life at risk before they are even born!! I myself am a smoker and still quite young and even I had the sense to stop smoking and drinking as soon as I found out I was pregnant. Personally I cant think of anything more selfish that some one can do!! For heavens sake it's less than a year you need to stop for. When the baby is born she can smoke OUTDOORS as much as she wants.

Noodles5

Urgh... this sort of stuff really irritates me..
Im actually studying childcare in college and theres a woman in my course who is approx 6/7 months pregnant and still smoking. What is wrong with these people?

Das Kitty

I try not to let seeing pregnant women smoking upset me but I find it quite hard seeing as a member of my family lost their baby at 8 months gestation as a direct result of smoking. It upsets me but doesn't make me angry mostly, that experience showed me how compelling addiction can be, even though they were told directly that it was the cause of the baby's death they still went to the smoking area for a cigarette almost immediately, both of them in absolute bits.

What does annoy me is people who say stuff like, I smoked through my pregnancy and my baby is perfectly fine! Even more so when they're Kerry Katona. Ug!

Ludo

<Removed Post myself...don't want to potentially start this debate here..definitely not in favour of smoking during pregnancy by the way>

Victor

Substance abuse is dangerous at any sage of pregnancy and there are some suggestions that it is more dangerous at the start. So if could be pregnant, its an idea to not indulge.

racso1975

well as victor said fetal alcohol syndrome happens in the 11th to 22nd day of the pregnancy when you prob aint got a clue. Have to say never heard of somebody losing a baby as a result of smoking

Cookie_Monster

Johnnio13 wrote: »

A nurse my wife works with (cancer nurse) continues to smoke 25-30 B+H a day and does not think twice about drinking double scotch and cokes on a night out.
This boils my blood....she should know better, have respect for the child she is carrying and should know the long term effects on both her and her baby!!
This person also spent a considerable amount of time "trying" to get pregnant and tries to disguise the smoking with perfume which makes it worse.
Patients have even complained.

This is a rant but holy sh%t does the woman not care at all!!

:eek::eek::eek:

What mentality must you have to knowingly do that, even worse in that being a nurse she should have more knowledge of the topic than the average lay person, if only through seeing examples of it in the hospital from time to time.

lalalulu wrote: »

I have to say it's not really any of your business, sorry op.. If this lady's child is born with defects or if she goes in to premature labour because of what she's doing then it will be she who has to deal with the consequences. She will have to deal with a possible special need's child and live with the fact that she caused it.. Sad but such is life, there's nowt ya can do...

It is "our" business as a society though. She is actively endangering her child through this behaviour and morally people should be interested in the situation. Also any defects, health issues or learning difficulties will ultimately cost the tax payer down the line.

lalalulu

Hi Cookie Monster.. You say it's up to society but ultimately we make our own decision's. I certainly don't want to live in a nanny state where i am told what i can and can't do in my everyday life. It's a personal choice and it's not like we can physically stop a woman smoking during pregnancy if she choose's to do so... Another poster pointed out addiction, it really can get a strong hold on a person and i suppose there should be more help for anyone who find's themselves addicted to any drug... I also have not personally heard of anyone losing a child during pregnancy because the mother smoked?! I have heard that a woman can possibly go in to premature labour and also the baby can have a low birthweight but not death! I would like to see research done to prove this though...

Das Kitty

In the case I gave above, smoking caused a blood clot in the placenta that travelled into the umbillical cord and suffocated the baby.

Noffles

Well this is Ireland... maybe you should try and stop pregnant women smoking... drinking, eating fast food... etc etc.... you stop them having abortions?

Not that I agree with it... but it's f*ck all to do with me what the woman does.

Cookie_Monster

but if she was forcing her 2 year old child to smoke or drink it would be a different matter...

Noffles

Cookie_Monster wrote: »

but if she was forcing her 2 year old child to smoke or drink it would be a different matter...

Obviously, it's against the law, but she's breaking NO law...

cch

racso1975 wrote: »

well as victor said fetal alcohol syndrome happens in the 11th to 22nd day of the pregnancy when you prob aint got a clue.

Link to the evidence please?

smelltheglove

I was going to post on this last night but thought better of it. But I actually think I will now.

I smoked throughout both of my prenancies. I tried to quit on the second but could not bring myself to do it. Yes smoking is an addiction and a very strong one for me. I didnt like it, I was ashamed of it, but I could nto stop doing it. Even without being pregnant I never liked the fact that I smoked, somethign stupid I started when I was young but I could never quit. I tried everything. Most recently after my second baby was born the guilt was killing me, I went to my doctor who prescribed me medcation tog et off smokes. It worked, it still took a lot of will power but it worked, I would neevr have been able to take that whilst pregnant. Unfortunately after my husband losing his job a few months back I started again, yes I hate it, I really do but I am caught up in the addiction. I think I will be going back to the doctor for those tablets again as I cant afford to smoke either never mind the fact that I hate it. I was lucky enough that my babies suffered no affect from my smoking thankfully but knowing the power of the addiction I could never tell someone to quit smoking.

As for the drinking, my first pregnancy was a crisis pregnancy, I was young, I couldnt handle what was happening to me and I felt so alone, the only time I felt normal was when I was out with my friends having drinks. Again, I would be ashamed of it, I never did it on my second. The first pregnancy nobody ever confronted me, nobody ever told me to calm down, asked me why I was rebelling like that, why wasnt I thinking of my baby etc etc and in actual fact I think if someone had have confronted me about my drinking it may actually have helped. People didnt want to ask me how I felt so they just offered me a drink instead wishing me well.

I am sure there are people out there that do go out knowingly drinking and not being in a depressed state, yes it is disregard for their child to drink excessively and I know of someone who did it in marriage, no crisis, who was confronted by a friend, the confrontation caused a rift in the friendship that lasted several years. Many people do not like to be told what to do or not do and sometimes you can take a gamble on whether you are going to lose a friend or help a friend by confronting them, I just regret that I didnt have any friends or family that would confront me. Thankfully my child was healthy and still is to this day but I cringe when I think of how I was when she was pregnant.

nesf

Smoking is an addiction. If it was easy to give up then we wouldn't be having problems with it now would we? Ditto with the alcohol to a lesser extent. Anyone viewing the former especially as a simple choice for the person involved is being highly unrealistic. I don't advocate either during pregnancy but they should be recognised as addictions not as simple life choices.

Deliverance

One can only sit back and 'judge' subjectively, that is a right of having an opinion. It is also a possibility for one to make a difference by actively seeking to gain justification of said judgement / opinion by positive action. This action should / could be, mostly in the form of learning about all the facts before making judgements.

themysteriouson

We all know it is an addiction. The point is she was trying to get pregnant hence she should of waited until she had given up smoking before bringing a child into that situation. Its different if the pregnancy isnt planned because you have no time to get medication to give up in advance etc.

Quackles

I dunno.. I know cigarettes are an addiction, and I've never smoked so I can't comment on what it's like to give them up. I can say this, though. I love food. Love, love, love. I find weight loss difficult, because it tastes so good. It's the first thing I turn to when I'm feeling down. You could call that an addiction of sorts. Well, last year when I was told I had gestational diabetes, I was religious about my diet from that day til the day the baby was born. I delivered lighter than I was when I concieved. I found it so much easier, even over christmas, to go without because it wasn't for me, it was for my child. I always thought the smoking and drinking thing would be the same. My smoking sister says the same - she has no problem giving them up while pregnant.

All I know is, I feel anger when I see pregnant women drinking and smoking. I would never say anything to them because it's none of my business, but inside my head, I'm thinking bad thoughts. I can't believe someone who struggled to get pregnant and works on a cancer ward doesn't have more respect for life. But, it's ultimately her choice. I wouldn't say a word to her.

nesf

nesf wrote: »

Smoking is an addiction. If it was easy to give up then we wouldn't be having problems with it now would we? Ditto with the alcohol to a lesser extent. Anyone viewing the former especially as a simple choice for the person involved is being highly unrealistic. I don't advocate either during pregnancy but they should be recognised as addictions not as simple life choices.

Some people are just weak. Attack me all you want, but it's my opinion. Of course it's not a simple choice or easy, but that doesn't make it excusable.

nesf

[quote=[Deleted User];63365207]Some people are just weak. Attack me all you want, but it's my opinion. Of course it's not a simple choice or easy, but that doesn't make it excusable.[/QUOTE]

Don't attack others by calling them weak please. Just cause you think someone is an idiot doesn't mean you can call them one on here.

nesf

nesf wrote: »

Don't attack others by calling them weak please. Just cause you think someone is an idiot doesn't mean you can call them one on here.

I'm not attacking anyone, it's a general statement. If you don't agree with my choice of words, then let me say that I don't think giving up smoking during pregnancy is 'unrealistic'. If that were the case, then how do many, many women manage to stop?

nesf

[quote=[Deleted User];63368780]I'm not attacking anyone, it's a general statement. If you don't agree with my choice of words, then let me say that I don't think giving up smoking during pregnancy is 'unrealistic'. If that were the case, then how do many, many women manage to stop?[/QUOTE]

No one said it was unrealistic, only that expecting all women to be able to give up would be given that is a physical addiction and these can be very hard to break. This of course doesn't mean that every woman shouldn't try to give them up.

smelltheglove

[quote=[Deleted User];63368780]I'm not attacking anyone, it's a general statement. If you don't agree with my choice of words, then let me say that I don't think giving up smoking during pregnancy is 'unrealistic'. If that were the case, then how do many, many women manage to stop?[/QUOTE]

Many many people find it impossible! Some people smoke to the day they die even with cancer as the addiction has overcome them soo much they cannot get by without it. Weak maybe, addicted though yes.

MelissaLahive

I tend to agree - I do find it it very wrong but at the end of the day it's the womans own choice. My own mother smoked while carrying me although she says that they didnt know the effects back then. In fact, I remember visiting her in the maternity ward when she had my brother and sister and nearly all of the women had ash trays next to the bed. Seems pretty bizarre. In terms of the drinking though, thats a different matter and surely she must realise that her baby is feeling the effects of her drinking.

Noffles

[quote=[Deleted User];63365207]Some people are just weak. Attack me all you want, but it's my opinion. Of course it's not a simple choice or easy, but that doesn't make it excusable.[/QUOTE]

Careful you don't fall off that horse now, looks quite high.....

eviltwin

I'm more shocked that she smokes and drinks to that extent given her chosen career rather than the fact she's pregnant.

I dont like seeing pregnant women getting locked or chain smoking either but I find the pregnancy police more offensive. I smoked and drank during my first pregnancy. My daughter is now 12 and absolutely fine.

Didnt do it this time around I have to say but I cant see any noticable difference between my daughter and my son...they both seem equally as fine

I do think mums to be should be encouraged to stop but its really none of anyones business and the holier than thou types out there should really stay out of it.

unkel

nesf wrote: »

No one said it was unrealistic, only that expecting all women to be able to give up would be given that is a physical addiction and these can be very hard to break. This of course doesn't mean that every woman shouldn't try to give them up.

Well said. For some smokers, giving them up is as easy as using the stairs instead of the lift. Eating an apple instead of a biscuit. For most people giving up smoking, it is not that easy. It is a lot harder than most people could ever imagine. I've read a few studies' conclusions that it is easier to get out of a heroin addiction than out of a nicotine addiction - cold turkey (no help from pills etc.)

eviltwin

I'm an ex smoker. My dad died as a direct result of smoking and even when his doctor told me I stood a good chance of going the same way if I didn't quit I still continued. I tried but just couldn't break the habit. Mind you my husband was a smoker then too so having to try and break a habit you have to see day in day out is nigh on impossible

It was only when he stopped that I managed to break it. This woman might be surrounded by other smokers and its so difficult trying to break an addiction when other people around you are regulary indulging