how can help a friend who has drinking problem?

booksale

My friend joined AA twice but could not complete and quited. He is a religious guy so the religious thing is not an issue. Yesterday I met him and talked about the issue, nagged him to AA. He said he does not have drinking problem and this is Irish culture. But deep inside he knows he has problems, that's why he went to AA for help.

I am not happy to meet him when I see him not in a sober state. I don't enjoy a drunk people's company. But I don't want to leave him alone either. He is a friend that I've known for years. He has been trying to quit for long (since I know him and did well for months and on and off). His drinking problem is getting more serious recently, got caught for drunk driving and every time I see him now, he is after cans of beer. I haven't seen him like that until recently.

jambofc

you cant help him,he can only help himself,he needs to get past the denial and admit to himself he has a problem and look for help himself,only then can you help him by support,promise after promise broken?
dont upset youreself you are youre own person and can do little to help until he admits to his problem.

sterlo

Sounds like your friend knows how to have a good time! I suggest you chill out and join him for a few beers, hic!:p

booksale

sterlo wrote: »

Sounds like your friend knows how to have a good time! I suggest you chill out and join him for a few beers, hic!:p

If you know him, you will not say he is having a good time. He is miserable at this stage of his life and if he keeps on drinking like this, his life will be ended soon. All his dreams and hope about life will be flushed into the toilet after the so called 'chill out'.

Dave!

sterlo wrote: »

Sounds like your friend knows how to have a good time! I suggest you chill out and join him for a few beers, hic!:p

not helpful

donieD

Unfortunatly as already mentioned there's not a lot you can do for him at this point.He has to admit that he has a problem to himself before any further action can be taken to help.From your post it sounds like the problem is getting progressivly worse and it will probably reach some kind of tipping point,hopefully sooner rather than later.It might sound harsh but in my opinion the best thing you can do for now is to get on with your own life and not facilitate or normalise his drinking in any way(not saying that you are).Please god he will eventually seek some kind of help and at that point he will need your support.
best of luck

Karen_*

People will only see what they want to see when they are want to see it. He knows deep down he's got a problem but he's chosen to not see it for a while because it seems easier. He'll most likely go back for help as the seed has been sown.

You can't do anything but if he loses friends over this it just might be the rock bottom he needs. You could be doing him a favour and spurring him on to change if you cut contact with him. Thats if he chooses to see it and not take the easy route of blaming you.

I went to AA and left and came back four years later. It happens loads of people like that but friends and family really are powerless over the addict.

booksale

My friend rang me and said he would like to go for the A.A. meetings and try again! I felt glad and still could not really believe that.

What should i do or not do to support him at this stage?

Karen_*

Thats great! Just keep doing what you're doing and be there for him. Keep encouraging him. Early recovery can be tough cos the head can be all over the place and you're really just finding your feet in life and coming through a fog. You sound like a fantastic friend and he's really lucky.

mel1986

:)hi i would just like to have a look at this website cuan mhuire. its a great place and maybe u could suggest it to ur friend there is a few of them around the country.best of luck it has worked for me with a cousin and my boyfriend.:D