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Do I need to ask public permission to PM someone?

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  • 07-12-2009 12:09am
    #1
    james.xix
    Registered Users Posts: 180 ✭✭


    I had a thread closed because I PM'd someone to thank them for their reply to a post of mine, that I had responded and would appreciate their response on that.

    What is wrong with that?


Comments

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    #2
    Sparky
    Registered Users Posts: 22,231 ✭✭✭✭Sparky


    Its called an unsolicited PM and given the context of the PM, the complaint was that you were demanding more answers.

    Given that it was a PI thread, it would have been better responding on the thread rather than sending a PM.


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    #3
    james.xix
    Registered Users Posts: 180 ✭✭james.xix


    Sparky wrote: »
    Its called an unsolicited PM and given the context of the PM, the complaint was that you were demanding more answers.

    Given that it was a PI thread, it would have been better responding on the thread rather than sending a PM.

    I was not demanding more answers.

    I was not sure the poster would see my response. I sent her a PM expressing my hope she would and that she would respond if she had the time.

    Also, early in the thread she was goading me:
    "completely disagree...relationship experience is key.

    come on, give us the answer. is this her 1st serious relationship?
    is this your 1st serious relationship?

    im figuring you have more experience then her in relationships...come on prove me wrong. give us the answer"

    I did not react to that.

    I thanked her for her response and asked if I could have a response back.


    A mod who had gotten involved in the debate was more in tune with what was going on.

    That's why he took the decision to delete her post where she publicly posted the PM I had sent her.

    I took heed after that that I should not PM her and I didn't.

    I aplogised for the PM.

    I've thanked everyone time and again for their response.


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    #4
    Beruthiel
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,362 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    Just because you send someone a PM, doesn't mean they have to respond if they wish not to.


  • Options
    #5
    james.xix
    Registered Users Posts: 180 ✭✭james.xix


    Beruthiel wrote: »
    Just because you send someone a PM, doesn't mean they have to respond if they wish not to.

    Nor do I expect anyone to respond.

    The nature of the PM was a thank you to the poster for their opionion.

    I then said I would apprectiate a response.

    The poster did give be good advice even if it was criticism and I appreciate that.

    I am new to this forum. Had I known it was not ok to PM someone, I would not have.

    3 mods were posting in the thread.

    One deleted a post by one poster who put up a PM.

    Even before anyone said anything, when it seemed I might have acted in error in sending a PM, I offered my apologies.

    I genuinely came on here for advice on an issue and nothing else.

    After this was posted:
    completely disagree...relationship experience is key.

    come on, give us the answer. is this her 1st serious relationship?
    is this your 1st serious relationship?

    im figuring you have more experience then her in relationships...come on prove me wrong. give us the answer

    A mod replied:
    OK lets ease of on badgering the OP. He has no reason to answer any questions he doesnt want to. Thanks.

    and later:

    magneticimpulse PM's are private messages. The clue is in the name. Please don't refer to one on the forums. Not without the other persons express permission. Post deleted. Plus if anyone has a problem with a PM you can report them just like you report a post and it will be looked into. Thanks.

    I did say:
    My apologies once more to magneticimpulse.
    I was out of line to send her a private message.
    Sorry for that.

    I really did not mean to cause a problem, I'm sorry that I have. I had not wish to do so.
    I simply appreciated her views, even if harsg, and looked forward and hoped she would reply again.

    I did not demand a response nor did I expect one. I simply hoped for one.

    As the debate went on, another Mod got involved with the debate and seemed to understand what was going on.

    The conversation nearly went off topic to which a differen mod again replied:
    Guys, can we keep this to helpful advice to the OP, rather than general debates.

    If you wish, you may continue a discussion on the Humanities forum, but debating on married behaviour etc is of no help to the OP.

    Thank you.

    Thany you for your time to read this.


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