Neglectful Parents

3102derek

though Id let you know about what happened to me yesterday.



I was going into PC world in Naas a lunch time. As I was about to enter the shop I young boy who look to be around 2 yrs old, walk out of the shop on his own.

I paused for a minute and looked to see if someone was coming to get him. But nobody was following or looking at him. I stop him just as he was about to walk out onto the road infront of traffic. I couldn’t believe what was happening.

I pick up the boy and asked where his parent were but as he was so young he just said “da da”

I brought him back into the store and he called for his “da da” , but nobody came. I asked an employee if he had seen his parents and was meet with a blank look and a shrug of his shoulders and walked away.

So here was me , standing in the middle of the shop holding a 2yr who was not mine with his parent no where to be seen. As I was not getting help for the employees, I called out to see if his parent answered. But no reply, bare in mind it was now at least 5 mins since I helped the boy.

The next thing a notice is a male and female approach me from one of the aisle and the back of the shop with another young boy in toe. The young boy called da da and look to go to him.



The next bit shocked me to the core. The parents didn’t seem to care that a complete stranger (me) had pick up their child outside on the street at least 10 mins earlier. Then I explained what had just happen and the response I got was “SO”. There was no thank you or urgency to find their child. They just took the child up and left.



It amazes me how someone could treat they your child in this manner. And have no care as to their wellbeing, especially at such a young age.

I know if I lost sight of my child for a few seconds my heart skips as with most parents.



Now I feel worried for this young boy, because what if I had not helped, and was not going into that shop at that time. What could have happen to that young boy? And what will happen in future.

It does not bear to think.

Victor

You had a stranger's child, that nobody was owning up to, for 10 minutes and didn't call the Garda?

metrovelvet

Did you ask the store manager to page the parents over the loudspeaker?

littlebug

Same thing happened to me a few years ago in the headford road shopping centre in Galway. I noticed the child going from the main door of the shopping centre to the pet shop and back again a few times ie outside at the edge of the carpark! I thought maybe her family were in the petshop so I went in but she was on her own... the pet shop owner went off in search of a security person leaving me watching the child and the shop :rolleyes: child runs off again so I discretely followed (didn't want to spook her) ... feck the shop. I met the security man at the main door and while he went off to get it announced I approached the girl ie crouched down and chatted to her, asked about her family and chatted about the animals in the pet shop etc. Eventually 2 women came out and grabbed her... not a word from the mother and the other woman said "Oh we thought she was just in tescos":rolleyes:
From the door of the shopping centre you can see McDonalds and Smyths across the road and it was just a good job she decided to go to the pet shop rather than either of those two. I was surprised at the lack of reaction from her mother but maybe it was shock/ embarrassment rather than indifference {shrugs}.
I also seemed to have been the only one who noticed a 2 year old hanging around on her own

I was staying in a hotel for christmas 6 years ago with all of my family and my husbands family.

We were all in the lobby late on Christmas eve having a few drinks. We were close to the ground floor bedrooms. about 11pm a little girl (about 3yrs old) wanders crying into the lobby and there seemed to be noone accompanying her. She was dazed as she had obviously woken from her sleep. I talked to her but she wouldn't talk back as she was so upset. My husband went to the bar and asked everyone if they were the parents of a little blonde girl, everyone said no.

The hotel manager and receptionist began ringing all rooms where children were registered as staying - thinking maybe the parents were asleep in the room and not noticed the child missing. There was no joy. The ones who answered, had their children, and the ones who didn't - well who knows, maybe their kids were with them in the bar.

30 - 40 mins passed and all in the lobby were trying to find this child's parents, she was on my lap hysterical, the poor thing threw up all over me. Then, this man saunters towards the toilets and notices his daughter on my lap and was not in the least bit shocked or concerned, he said thanks to me and that was that. This man had been asked in the bar two times if he had a little girl with blonde hair and said no both times.

It turned out he had left his two year old and three year old in their room alone on Christmas eve and within that 40 minute period, he had not checked on them even once.

I just thought how lucky that little girl was that I looked after her and that she didn't wander out of the hotel or anywhere else that she could have been in danger. Never mind the possibility that I could have taken her!

It sickens me that there are people out there who really don't give a toss about their kids but unfortunately they are everywhere - it's very sad

deisemum

The sad thing is that's it's very common.

Darthhoob

my OH stopped a two year old boy crossing the road on his own once...with a car coming...his mother was about 10=15 meters behind him! chatting to her friend both pushing buggies.
when OH stopped the little boy, he just put his hand in front of him and told him he needs to be careful. the mother saw this and came running :rolleyes: yelled at him calling him a peado and how dare he touch her kids....blah blah blah.

some people just see 'stranger danger' as more dangerous than other hazards. everyone is guilty of being dangerous to children until proven otherwise. media is to blame for that one.

my OH would LOVE to work with kids, he wants to be a teacher. but there is such a negative view of men in schools

stovelid

It's a sad indictment of the times, but if I found a lost kid outside a shop, I'd get him to the reception/customer service desk or ring the Gardai as quickly as possible.

Would be very wary of strolling around with the child myself for any amount of time.

Evolute

I had a similar incident in a public swimming pool I was teaching at a few weeks ago.
I was in the pool teaching a few of my class how to swim when I caught a very young child only maybe 1 or 2 walking out into the pool area I continued to watch for a minute and saw the child walk straight into the baby pool in all her clothes.
I ran over grabbed her out of the pool and had to wait for 10 mins for her mother to realise that she had gone missing then her mother ran over looking very angry at me and she asked what I was doing with her child in my arms.
I then in return completely lost the plot at the mother telling her to pay better attention to her younger child as that clearly she was the most vulnerable.
Now fair enough the woman had two other kids that she was helping get dressed but one of the children was around 8 and well able to dress himself and the other child was 6 isnt that what family changing rooms are for? so you can pack your kids into one and keep an eye on them?

Lollipops23

I work in a busy dept store, so kids get lost every now and again. Last week we had a family (parents, twin little boys of 4, a toddler and granny) in and one of the twins went walkabout (as they do) the mother was FRANTIC, i mean freaking out. I kept talking to her while searching, telling her it happens all the time and they never get far etc, trying to keep her calm. Next the granny has a go at her, "Why weren't you looking after them, he shoudln't have been able to wander etc", I mean the woman had been trying to keep an eye on the toddler at the time,the last thing she needed was the granny having a go (the granny clearly wasn't watching either).

Also, when I rang the switchboard to ask them to announce it on the tannoy they said they're no longer able to do that??dunno if it was bull,it seemed ridiculous but I wasn't going to waste valuable time arguing with her:rolleyes:

PullOutMethod

2 years ago I was in the foyer of Holles St hospital on my way out having visited my wife with our first born.
Anyway 2 children under the age of four had been left in the foyer by 2 African men.
They walked out of the foyer and had gotten about 100 yards down the road when the hospital porter came sprinting after them.
Porter insisted they absolutely cannot leave the kids there unattended.
The 2 guys pretended like they had forgot something.

Nevyn

When I was in having my first 11 years ago in the Rotunda two Dad's dropped in kids which they expected the mother to mind while she was in bed with the new born. In once case it was a 4 year old and the father told the nurse's he'd be back by 6 for him and got a right earful and was told to make child care arrangements if he had to work and in the other case the dad had already gone leaveing 3 kids from 8 to 3 with the mother and the new born in a ward of 10 beds.

I was stunned tbh.

Thaedydal

Thaedydal wrote: »

When I was in having my first 11 years ago in the Rotunda two Dad's dropped in kids which they expected the mother to mind while she was in bed with the new born. In once case it was a 4 year old and the father told the nurse's he'd be back by 6 for him and got a right earful and was told to make child care arrangements if he had to work and in the other case the dad had already gone leaveing 3 kids from 8 to 3 with the mother and the new born in a ward of 10 beds.

I was stunned tbh.

:eek:

angeldelight

I'm not even a parent but if I'm out with my cousins and I lose sight of one of them for a minute I feel physically sick - I don't understand some people's lack of concern!

My dad was out for a walk in our estate last spring when he came across a 2 year old walking down the footpath in his nappy - nothing else! My dad watched him for a minute to see if anyone appeared after him but nothing, then approached him to see if he could point out his house but he was too little. Dad was also wary about being seen with someone else's child so he held the little guy's hand while knocking on a few doors but nobody was home - ended up picking him up because the ground was wet and cold. He got to a house that had the front door open so he knocked, no answer. Opened door and called in - no answer. Little boy seemed to recognise it so my dad went in to make sure there was nothing wrong when a woman came downstairs in her pjs and just kinda said "oh grand" when my dad told her what had happened!

disgruntled09

OMG i cant believe people are so horrible! I have a 16 month old and i guard her with my life 24/7!! The thoughts of something bad happening to her or her feeling frightened gives me goosebumps! Why are these people allowed to have kids, they dont deserve them :mad:

cbyrd

the really hilarious thing is you need to have a licence to have a dog or a TV.. go figure!! i lost sight of my eldest for about 3 minutes in dunnes drapery when she was about 3. completely my own fault i was talking to someone i met and she let go of my hand.. 5 seconds and she was out of sight.. i nearly lost the plot i was so frantic!!! eventually found her in a bundle of towels having a ball... it never happened again... the things that go through your mind when you can't find them even for 3 minutes.. :eek:

stovelid

In fairness, I never realized how easy it is to lose a child. I've only just started letting my 17-month old walk in the supermarket and last week he grabbed at a box (near the top of the aisle) and pulled down a few of them. While I was scrambling to put them back up, he scooted round into the next aisle and for a split-second, I couldn't tell if he'd went left or right. Couldn't have taken more than 7-8 seconds.

I can only imagine how hard it is when they're older.

the_syco

stovelid wrote: »

I've only just started letting my 17-month old walk in the supermarket and last week he grabbed at a box (near the top of the aisle) and pulled down a few of them.

Get a harness. They look like a doggy lead (and heck, sometimes doggy leads are used), and are great for keeping the kids nearby. I go super-slow around certain estates where I know there are small kids. Many times a small kid has been saved by the harness, as the kid would spot something, and try to run to it. They never look once at me oncoming. Never. Heck, There are kids about primary school age that have no concept of "don't run out in front of an incoming car". I blame the parents. The driver will get the jail time for their neglectance.

=-=

The same people in the above posts who lose their kids would wonder why pubs don't allow kids after 9pm. Not only are the kids noisy, but after a few pints, the parents didn't control the kids.

Ickle Magoo

My MIL works in a library and they regularly find young kids left in the kids section while the parents nip over the road to do some shopping. It would be so easy for someone to take them out and the people who work in the library would have no idea if that's actually their parents. :eek::(

stovelid

the_syco wrote: »

I blame the parents. The driver will get the jail time for their neglectance.

While i can see that this would be the case a lot of the time (for example, a lot of the cases in this thread), there really are times when you just make mistakes. Me, anyway. It's awful that a small lapse can sometimes have major consequences, but it happens.

Nasty_Girl

My aunty used to be a primary teacher and on more than one occassion she was left waiting on the street with a child after a school tour who no one turned up to collect.
It's so sad.
My mother is a librarian and there was one night she used to work until 8 o clock, it used to break her heart closing up and having to tell the local kids it was time to go home because she new damn well those kids were going home to somewhere they didnt want to be and weren't wanted either.

Tawny

Theres a little boy in my neighbourhood I actually worry about at times.

Last summer he was maybe 4?, out all the time playing, sometimes on his own, sometimes with the other kids of the neighbourhood.

One time I was out fixing my car and he was with me for a good 15 or 20 mins. I was desperately trying to stop him poking his fingers in my grill, bonnet etc, then he went round the back and started trying to put a stick in the boot keyhole.

I kept asking him to leave it alone, saying it was dangerous and maybe he should go home cos his mummy might be looking for him. Obviously no one was as he was with me for ages, and I would have thought if his mum or dad knew he was being a nuisance to someone working on their car they would have called him in.

Eventually I got fed up trying to stop him getting hurt, said I was going home. He toddled off.

I wouldnt report it though, its not a great estate, its big, I have no idea who his parents actually are and I wouldn't want to piss anyone off and risk finding my car with a brick through it or something.

Nevyn

stovelid wrote: »

In fairness, I never realized how easy it is to lose a child. I've only just started letting my 17-month old walk in the supermarket and last week he grabbed at a box (near the top of the aisle) and pulled down a few of them. While I was scrambling to put them back up, he scooted round into the next aisle and for a split-second, I couldn't tell if he'd went left or right. Couldn't have taken more than 7-8 seconds.

I can only imagine how hard it is when they're older.

Baby reigns or a tether ftw.

gaz wac

Never posted in this forum before but didnt want to start a new thread, but looking for your views on this situation;

I get the bus every morning at 7.10. At the start, there was a woman and her two young kids on the school run. This continued for a few months but now I see them both, standing at the bus stop alone every morning. Both are about 6-8 and they get the bus into Trinty ( which I hear them saying " we better get off at the castle" !! ). They then wait for the number 10 and head towards Donnybrook to their school :eek:. I just think this is crazy. any weirdo could snatch these kids as the are on the bus like clockwork and with it so dark in the mornings / evenings. Should I bring this to the attention of someone?

Cheers

OS119

i'd ring the school, there's no way i'd allow even a 10yo to take a 6yo on bus journeys through town. no way.

the school may not know quite how they get there, if they do know, or couldn't give a crap i'd contact the local social work office. if all else fails you could talk to the bus company - i doubt their T&C's allow kids that young unaccompanied...

frightening really, both the actions of 'parents' and quite how much effort various authorities will go to to to avoid seeing any of the things that would frighten the shit out of any decent parent.

smelltheglove

gaz wac wrote: »

Should I bring this to the attention of someone?

Cheers

Definitely contact the school or even the local garda station or social welfare officer. When my little brother was just 14 there was an incident, mistaken identity sort of thing, some older foreign guys thought he was someone else and pulled him into a car, they gave him a few smacks and brought them to their house having their wives translate for them, they were interrogating him on a stolen bicycle, they thought he was part of a gang of lads that stole it, only he had just moved to the area and didnt know anyone. To cut a long story short they let him go after he got hysterrical and told them his age, the whole time he thought they were looking for a motorbike.

So the reason I use this as an example is this, he had to get the bus to and from school every day, these guys were obviously sour from being pulled in by the gards, one was obviously illegal as he went on the run. For months my brother would get to the busstop and there would be one there, just intimidating him, or he could get on the bus and one would sit beside him. They knew his movements. Now put this in the situation of these small kids, it would be easy for plenty of people to notice they were there alone every morning, people driving to work at the same time every day, other people on the bus, neighbours seeing them leave. If my brother at 14 could have been hounded on a bus journey I wouldnt overlook the safety of these kids.

January

gaz wac wrote: »

Never posted in this forum before but didnt want to start a new thread, but looking for your views on this situation;

I get the bus every morning at 7.10. At the start, there was a woman and her two young kids on the school run. This continued for a few months but now I see them both, standing at the bus stop alone every morning. Both are about 6-8 and they get the bus into Trinty ( which I hear them saying " we better get off at the castle" !! ). They then wait for the number 10 and head towards Donnybrook to their school :eek:. I just think this is crazy. any weirdo could snatch these kids as the are on the bus like clockwork and with it so dark in the mornings / evenings. Should I bring this to the attention of someone?

Cheers

Please ring the school and let them know, give them a description of the two young boys. If all else fails and they say they can't do anything as they can't identify them, I'd call the Gardai/Local PHN (Still under PHN care untill you leave primary school) and ask their advice.

eviltwin

the_syco wrote: »

Get a harness. They look like a doggy lead (and heck, sometimes doggy leads are used), and are great for keeping the kids nearby. I go super-slow around certain estates where I know there are small kids. Many times a small kid has been saved by the harness, as the kid would spot something, and try to run to it. They never look once at me oncoming. Never. Heck, There are kids about primary school age that have no concept of "don't run out in front of an incoming car". I blame the parents. The driver will get the jail time for their neglectance.

=-=

The same people in the above posts who lose their kids would wonder why pubs don't allow kids after 9pm. Not only are the kids noisy, but after a few pints, the parents didn't control the kids.

My husband once knocked down a small child who ran out onto the road from behind a parked car...no harm done thankfully, he was going really slow and the child was fine but thankfully the parents admitted they hadnt been watching her and nothing more came of it. He was really shaken though and we are well aware it could have easily gone the other way and he could have had the book thrown at him.

I've actually phoned social services once myself about a child I felt was in danger. I used to get the train home from tara st station and would see most evenings a group of drug addicts one of whom had a child of about two in a buggy just wearing a teeshirt and most time without any shoes or socks..this was around this time last year when it was freezing and I couldnt stomach it. Of course nothing happened..the person I spoke to said it would be looked into but they were still there in the same state months later so it appears nothing was ever done

Deliverance

Sweet jebus reading through this thread makes me sad and angry at times. I just do not get the extreme cases described i.e the attitude of some 'parents' with very small kids that just do not seem to be bothered or aware of the every day dangers that do exist.

I think my family consider me to be an over-protective parent in a way, as my little one is trained to stick with me or her mum whenever we are out and about. Plus I don't let her out of my sight when she is with me.

Point in fact: Tragically I saw flowers in a car park at a community centre in douglas, Cork awhile back, it turned out that a 3-4yr old child had been knocked down and died. It was a v.small car park, but this terrible thing occured in this small place. It showed to me how easily such an event could happen.

v.small kids need protection and constant supervision (obviously). A good parent in my view is an overprotective, stressed parent who has to have eyes in the back of their head and is one that constantly is on the look out for danger. That is just a small part of what being a parent is about.

eviltwin

You have to find a balance. I would never let a young child out of my sight for even a second but you have to get them those little bits of independance as they grow.

You want them to be aware of their personal safety but you don't want to overstate the risks either..my mum used to always tell my daughter about strangers to the point she wouldnt so much as look at anyone she didnt know..my own friends included !! Took years for her to grow out of it.

Deliverance

eviltwin wrote: »

My husband once knocked down a small child who ran out onto the road from behind a parked car...no harm done thankfully, he was going really slow and the child was fine but thankfully the parents admitted they hadnt been watching her and nothing more came of it. He was really shaken though and we are well aware it could have easily gone the other way and he could have had the book thrown at him.

Ditto, the same thing happened to me. I knocked down a small child in almost exactly the same circumstance as an inexperienced driver. Thankfully the mother had dressed the child in bright colours. I glanced the streak of colour as I was driving parallel to her as she ran, she shot from between parked cars just ahead of my car as I was accelerating!

Luckily having being primed by the bright colours I slammed on the brakes out of instinct when she ran out between parked cars. Just before the car went into a skid i.e. loss of control (after realising that she was going to be hit full on) I managed to limit the hit to a glancing blow to her side by the angle of the car at the strike. I used the skid to turn the car at an angle to minimise the impact, she kind of bounced of the wing:(

She didn't hit the ground or fall, I noted this immediately as a damage limitation type of thought.

Her dad who was I think a seperated father, was waiting across the road leaning on his car!

All hell and confusion ensued and the father started to show agression and was about to pass blame onto me (naturally I guess), until a lovely lady who owned a a shop nearby came out and announced that she had witnessed the whole incident and was willing to stand up in court to testify etc to the fact that it was not my fault in any way.

The child ended up with a hurt arm and the father seemed more concerned about getting out of there fast, despite his earlier attempt at aggresion and blame. He was at fault by waiting across the road whilst his little one ran across the road excitedly with a packet of sweets.

I think that the Mom did a good job by dressing this kid in bright colours whilst out with this chap if it were not for that then I think I would have hit this child full on and the result would have been far worse.

End result was / is by this mothers foresight to me is: I drive much more carefully and note every kid on footpaths in advance. Plus I do not over accelerate in public areas. Plus as a dad I would not wait on the other side of a road expecting my child to cross unsupervised!!!