Neglectful Parents

stovelid

the_syco wrote: »

Get a harness.

Thaedydal wrote: »

Baby reigns or a tether ftw.

Yeah, it's time, I think.

My friend told me that you can get PC ones (reins that are not reins, as it were) that look like rucksacks except you spot this lead snaking out of the bottom.

I won't be getting one of those obviously!

Darthhoob

awwwwwwwwwwwww but they are cute!

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Kiddysmart-53813-Harness-Backpack/dp/B000L0E41K

the_syco

there really are times when you just make mistakes

Curel, but a baby harness is cheaper than a gravestone. Kids have no concept that cars will flatten them, and tend to run at the inane things, such as a cute puppy on the other side of the road. Ever play chase the butterfly when you were a kid? How many times has a butterfly flown over your car?:(

gaz wac

adrieanne__x wrote: »

Please ring the school and let them know, give them a description of the two young boys.

, I'd call the Gardai/Local PHN (Still under PHN care untill you leave primary school) and ask their advice.

Im going to ring Dublin Bus now. Sorry I dont know what PHN stands for? Do you have a link to their website ? As an update, i saw the mother and father on the bus last night, so suspose the two of them work. This was at 6 so i take it the kids come home at 4 to an empty house...gets scarier (sp) !!! :eek:

stovelid

gaz wac wrote: »

Sorry I dont know what PHN stands for?

I presume Public Health Nurse.

We've only had dealing with them through the local health centre, but perhaps the school or HSE would know.

Trashed

Was on the bus the other day around half 1 and a little girl got on prob 5/6 bearly tall enough to put her money in, she had to jump. she was wearing a school uniform(no coat!!!) . wasnt a blanch uniform so i dont know what school. and was on the bus from blanch village to the quays. she got off just before capel street and off she went.

when the bus stopped at dame street the bus driver made a call to wherever and told them.

Nasty_Girl

Nasty_Girl wrote: »

My aunty used to be a primary teacher and on more than one occassion she was left waiting on the street with a child after a school tour who no one turned up to collect.
It's so sad.
.

Not really, unless it's always the same child. A lot of the time it's a simple mistake. I was left at least twice. Once my dad didn't realise he was supposed to pick me up from my music lesson (he was working really far away that day and assumed my mam was going to do it) and another time we were camping in France and my parents mixed up the times to pick us up from the Kids Club and were an hour late. My mam was mortified, but nobody thought we were being neglected, these things happen. I also have relatives who have walked out of shops without one of the kids (obviously realising a few seconds later), or one of the kids has gotten outside without them noticing. They aren't bad parents at all. It's more about the reaction - if the parents are shocked and embarrassed, it says a lot more than the parents in OP's story who were all 'meh' because they couldn't see what was wrong with the situation. I think a lot of parents are just so naive, they delude themselves into thinking their kids will be grand on the bus on their own or playing in the park on their own at a young age because they used to do it when they were younger. They assume strangers will help the kids out if anything happened, which I think is crazy.

jenzz

I find this heartbreaking - the neglect !.

As a parent who has lost a child in Dunnes Stores......
Yep - Shes tiny & she was 3 & a half. She barely was up to my knee, had the harness on & put her down for 1 minute - Gone! Completely gone !
I paniced, raced, ran, ex mother in law in tow, other baby dragged - sheer panic.. 15 minutes later, Gardai had been called, store had security on all the doors, they were franticly checking back on the cameras - & we saw a shoe..... Hysterical now ! Then we saw a tiny foot - she had literly dropped on the spot under the coats hanging & went asleep.... It was like operation garda patrol in the store but they were so so good.

But I learnt a very valuable lesson that day & I am still doing it. Never ever leave a child for 1 second. They are now 6 & 7 but everywhere we go they hold hands & I have 1 hand. Everyone always says so cute - But its practical. Kids are so precious - people have no idea how quick a child can get caught in the mush.. We were on Henry St the other night & a big tool ploughed through the two of them & split their hands - The scream of him that his little sister was gone -( about 2 feet to the right lol)- but even still how quick she could have been caught in the crowd & scooped down the street.

metrovelvet

the_syco wrote: »

Curel, but a baby harness is cheaper than a gravestone. Kids have no concept that cars will flatten them, and tend to run at the inane things, such as a cute puppy on the other side of the road. Ever play chase the butterfly when you were a kid? How many times has a butterfly flown over your car?:(

I tried using one after my son then 18 mos took a dash for the NYC subway while I was paying for something at a checkout. He dashed and I dropped everything on the counter, including my handbag, wallet everything and I stopped him before he exited [NYC has mostly automatic doors which makess this kind of thing even easier].

Coincidentally a week later there was a story on the news about a toddler who managed to get into the subway and was missing somewhere on a train.

I then tried a harness but he bulled and bulled all the time that he kept falling flat on his face forward so it didnt really work for me or him.

So now shopping is VERY limited and we hold hands or he is in the trolley and he is very well trained about traffic and cars.

deisemum

I prefer the wrist straps to the harnesses

smelltheglove

My first daughter wouldnt leave my side but the second, well, she would not accept a harness, and trust me I tried. The first time she got out we didnt know she could even open the door, I was sitting in the sitting room and all went quiet, I thought she was with my husband but realised quickly she wasnt, he searched upstairs, me down and then what do I see, the little fecker running down the opposite side of the road, in her nip (she also liked to take her clothes off). We kept a close eye on her after that although she invented a new game as often as possible, opening the door to let the dog out so she could run after her, again usually in the nip and would get almost around the corner before you could catch up to her, nightmare. Thankfully the neighbours were well aware of how mad she was so just pitied me rather than complain. Her favourite game when shopping is to hide in racks of clothes, thinks its hilarious, you can hear her laughing as you pass by looking for her. Not even a second and she's gone. Thankfully now she is 3 she does it less and less and really has tamed. It is sooo easy to loose a child like this, I really do agree with the above that you know by the reaction if a parent is neglectful.

Billiejo

3102derek wrote: »

though Id let you know about what happened to me yesterday.



I was going into PC world in Naas a lunch time. As I was about to enter the shop I young boy who look to be around 2 yrs old, walk out of the shop on his own.

I paused for a minute and looked to see if someone was coming to get him. But nobody was following or looking at him. I stop him just as he was about to walk out onto the road infront of traffic. I couldn’t believe what was happening.

I pick up the boy and asked where his parent were but as he was so young he just said “da da”

I brought him back into the store and he called for his “da da” , but nobody came. I asked an employee if he had seen his parents and was meet with a blank look and a shrug of his shoulders and walked away.

So here was me , standing in the middle of the shop holding a 2yr who was not mine with his parent no where to be seen. As I was not getting help for the employees, I called out to see if his parent answered. But no reply, bare in mind it was now at least 5 mins since I helped the boy.

The next thing a notice is a male and female approach me from one of the aisle and the back of the shop with another young boy in toe. The young boy called da da and look to go to him.



The next bit shocked me to the core. The parents didn’t seem to care that a complete stranger (me) had pick up their child outside on the street at least 10 mins earlier. Then I explained what had just happen and the response I got was “SO”. There was no thank you or urgency to find their child. They just took the child up and left.



It amazes me how someone could treat they your child in this manner. And have no care as to their wellbeing, especially at such a young age.

I know if I lost sight of my child for a few seconds my heart skips as with most parents.



Now I feel worried for this young boy, because what if I had not helped, and was not going into that shop at that time. What could have happen to that young boy? And what will happen in future.

It does not bear to think.

In cases like this.
Take down car reg and report NOT ONLY to the Gards but also to SOCIAL SERVICES.

Deliverance

I was going to start a thread on this since it annoyed me so much but this seems like the best place to get it out:

Today a friend of mine and her niece called to my communal door entrance. While they were waiting for me to answer, a neighbour was dropped off from a van with her child, the little fella of about (6-8 yrs). That was fine, people often show up together in a block of flats.

My friend and her niece sat down in my flat and stated that they witnessed something awful. I knew who they were talking about straight away as there is one set of neighbours living in the place who are very loud and vocal and horrible in general.

But I have to say I was surprised and disgusted by the story that I heard: the mother who is a resident and a neighbour (unfortunately for me) was at the door with (two complete strangers), she slapped the child across the head and shouted, Quote from friends: "you fckung spastic, Santa will bring you nothing this year".

Now correct me if I am wrong but I think that there is something mentally wrong with a person that does this?

smelltheglove

Its unfortunate to say deliverance that you hear this quite often. Some people feel its ok to speak to their children like this, cursing and using names. Low and behold these are most likely the kids that will go on to abuse other kids in that way.

eviltwin

My next door neighbour was bringing her two youngest ones out the other day, they are about 4 and 6 or thereabouts

Like most kids that age they were really slow and she started effing and blinding at them to hurry up...I was shocked at the way she was speaking, I can turn the air blue myself at the best of times but I wouldnt use the words she was using around adults let alone kids :eek:

Its not exactly "abuse" or "neglect" in the traditional sense of the word and you can't really report it to anyone but I was tempted to go out and sock her one for talking to them like that. And then people wonder where the kids get it

Darthhoob

know what you mean. couple of years ago when i was pregnant with my little boy i was in the waiting room of the doctors to see the midwife. there was also a health visitor there as it was immunisation day or something lol. there was one woman there, came out of the HV room, her child of about 2 years old SCREAMING as they do when just had an injection...and she was calling him all sorts of names...even C U Next Tuesday :eek:

i mean really, is there any need? i swear like a trooper but i restrict myself around my kids....when i do slip up my eldest tells me off LOL

deisemum

eviltwin wrote: »

My next door neighbour was bringing her two youngest ones out the other day, they are about 4 and 6 or thereabouts

Like most kids that age they were really slow and she started effing and blinding at them to hurry up...I was shocked at the way she was speaking, I can turn the air blue myself at the best of times but I wouldnt use the words she was using around adults let alone kids :eek:

Its not exactly "abuse" or "neglect" in the traditional sense of the word and you can't really report it to anyone but I was tempted to go out and sock her one for talking to them like that. And then people wonder where the kids get it

Thing is if you intervene (which I have done) then the chances are that the child will get a worse doing when they get home.

Jo King

Lollipops23 wrote: »

I work in a busy dept store, so kids get lost every now and again. eemed ridiculous but I wasn't going to waste valuable time arguing with her:rolleyes:

How come you said on the other thread that you were unemployed?

TargetWidow

smelltheglove wrote: »

Her favourite game when shopping is to hide in racks of clothes, thinks its hilarious, you can hear her laughing as you pass by looking for her. Not even a second and she's gone.

DD 20 mths did this for the first time last week in Debenhams. Her Daddy was smart enough to listen for the giggling and thats how we found her two feet in front of us under a rack of long coats we were looking at only about 5 or 10 seconds after she went in. She was still right by my foot but instead of standing there she was now crouching! I nearly had to call for an ambulance with the fright. She thought it was hilarious.
My husband works in retail security and regularly has to hand back toddlers to parents and frequently gets the "so what" response. To them he ususally remarks "have you never heard of Maddie McCann or Jamie Bulger!"
Santa is bringing her a wrist link made of chain she cannot chew through. Meanwhile she stays in the buggy.;)

browndress

It is time the authorities went back to the tried and trusted old fashioned methods of dealing with this. The parents should be prosecuted and the children taken into care in an orphanage for a few years. It would soon put a stop to the problem.

browndress

browndress wrote: »

It is time the authorities went back to the tried and trusted old fashioned methods of dealing with this. The parents should be prosecuted and the children taken into care in an orphanage for a few years. It would soon put a stop to the problem.

Orphanges? Are you for real?

Yes, punish the children because their parents are incompetent prats. Good thinking.

karlog

Were the parents scumbags? cause that would make so much sense.

karlog

karlog wrote: »

Were the parents scumbags? cause that would make so much sense.

Not always the case though at all. If you read my story, the parents were very "well to do"!

browndress

Deleted User wrote: »

Orphanges? Are you for real?

Yes, punish the children because their parents are incompetent prats. Good thinking.

Better a good orphanage than a bad parent.

Ickle Magoo

browndress wrote: »

Better a good orphanage than a bad parent.

How many good orphanages can you name? :rolleyes:

The damage done to children's psyche from having no parents is ofter far greater than that of having "bad" parents. How many kids on the streets and drug users are from care homes - it's hardly the panacea to crap parenting.

wolfpawnat

Thaedydal wrote: »

When I was in having my first 11 years ago in the Rotunda two Dad's dropped in kids which they expected the mother to mind while she was in bed with the new born. In once case it was a 4 year old and the father told the nurse's he'd be back by 6 for him and got a right earful and was told to make child care arrangements if he had to work and in the other case the dad had already gone leaveing 3 kids from 8 to 3 with the mother and the new born in a ward of 10 beds.

I was stunned tbh.

Actually something similar happened when I was in the Rotunda, A woman was after having her third and was being held in because the child was very jaundiced, not helped by her leaving the hospital for hours at a time to go to Maccy D's and what not. But one of the days the Oh came in with her other two children and left them there and in his best skanger accent "Youse stay der wi yer brother (the new born) while we go fer a drink" She and father ffed off and left two kids run riot around the ward for ages stealing other womens belongings and constantly opening the wards window, everytime I got out of my bed (closet to the window) and close it again they would wait until I got back into bed and open it again, I should say getting in and out of bed with a fresh c-scar is near impossible

browndress

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

How many good orphanages can you name? :rolleyes:

The damage done to children's psyche from having no parents is ofter far greater than that of having "bad" parents. How many kids on the streets and drug users are from care homes - it's hardly the panacea to crap parenting.

If there is no good orphanage they can build one. The only reason drug users etc ended up in care homes in the first place is because of their parents. You are making a circular argument.

watna

Lollipops23 wrote: »

Also, when I rang the switchboard to ask them to announce it on the tannoy they said they're no longer able to do that??dunno if it was bull,it seemed ridiculous but I wasn't going to waste valuable time arguing with her:rolleyes:

Apparently it's so they don't alert people that there is an unattended child in the store so someone doesn't take advantage of it.

My boss was telling me a story of when she lost her daughter (now 17) in FAO Schwarz (the big toy shop) in New York. She ran to the customer service desk to get them to announce it while her husband looked and the man on the desk said "ma'am, do you know how many paedophiles there are in this store at the moment?". She said it was the worst thing anyone has ever said to her! Can you imagine hearing that when your daughter was missing?

She found her daughter sitting in a pile of princess dresses, happy as anything. They got her reins after that.

smelltheglove

watna wrote: »

"ma'am, do you know how many paedophiles there are in this store at the moment?". She said it was the worst thing anyone has ever said to her! Can you imagine hearing that when your daughter was missing?

She found her daughter sitting in a pile of princess dresses, happy as anything. They got her reins after that.

I'd have a freaking heart attack:eek: thankfully she was ok. It is true though that it is understandable that they dont announce for safety reasons although in the last few months my sister in law went to Liffey Valley and a little girl went missing. The doors of the centre were shut until she was found so nobody could leave with her. I have never heard of that before but my sister in law said pretty much everyone was looking for the child, she even left the shop she was in to look around for the child also who was found quite quickly.

January

wolfpawnat wrote: »

Actually something similar happened when I was in the Rotunda, A woman was after having her third and was being held in because the child was very jaundiced, not helped by her leaving the hospital for hours at a time to go to Maccy D's and what not. But one of the days the Oh came in with her other two children and left them there and in his best skanger accent "Youse stay der wi yer brother (the new born) while we go fer a drink" She and father ffed off and left two kids run riot around the ward for ages stealing other womens belongings and constantly opening the wards window, everytime I got out of my bed (closet to the window) and close it again they would wait until I got back into bed and open it again, I should say getting in and out of bed with a fresh c-scar is near impossible

God I would have been going mental... Literally... How could the hospital let a mother leave like that. Who was minding the baby?? I know I was even scared to leave my baby alone for 10 minutes while I had a shower one morning and even came back three times to ask the midwives would she be alright before I got into the shower.

I like the idea of Liffey Valley closing the doors until they found the child, but god forbid what if the child was already through the doors ?