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OH sons grandparents

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  • 17-12-2009 1:39pm
    #1
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    Closed Accounts Posts: 44 ✭


    I am having major issues with my partners sons maternal grandparents.
    Basically it was a case of if you dont want the child I will have an abortion, so my partner has been raising his son. I have been living with them for about a year now and since I work part time I look after him, take him to playschool etc. He goes to his maternal grandparents house for 2 night every friday. They make comments on my age or appearance and often will ignore me. I refuse to let it bother me because at the end of the day I am the one brining up their grandson. It has gotten to the point where they wont even let me inside the house now, I have to drop and collect him at the door. they are really good to him as far as I can tell he never complains and always seems happy.

    I want to be friendly with these people, but my emotions are wearing thin and I often end up in tears over something they have said.

    any advice?


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    #2
    Moonbeam
    Moderators, Education Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 18,953 Mod ✭✭✭✭Moonbeam


    It sounds like a horrible situation to be in I reckon they are jsut wishing it was their daughter bringing up the child and not you and do not know how to deal with it.
    A bit ot but does he have full legal guardian ship?if not maybe mention it to him incase things turn nasty with the grandparents.


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    #3
    silverharp
    Registered Users Posts: 18,363 ✭✭✭✭silverharp


    I think you need to bring it up as an issue. You could go with the approach that it is not good for kids to be exposed to this kind of behaviour. They do pick up on these things and it is not a good example to be giving

    A belief in gender identity involves a level of faith as there is nothing tangible to prove its existence which, as something divorced from the physical body, is similar to the idea of a soul. - Colette Colfer



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    #4
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    Closed Accounts Posts: 44 ✭Trashed


    My partner has full legal guardian ship. He has spoken to them a few times and all they deny they say or do anything and accuse me of being a 'trouble maker'

    I have decided to invite them around for dinner on sunday and just to try and have a nice calm day and see will they act up infront of my partner.


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    #5
    kmick
    Registered Users Posts: 3,375 ✭✭✭kmick


    Tell them to come and pick him up in future. You are doing all the work and taking a beating for it as well. You can still be kind to your stepson without the constant bullying and abuse from the grandparents. How bloody dare they.


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    #6
    seamus
    Registered Users Posts: 68,317 ✭✭✭✭seamus


    They're ashamed that their daughter has had a child out of wedlock and they feel that if they can only get her back with the child's father, then everything will be alright.

    They avoid getting to know you and try to make things difficult for you in the hope that you'll get fed up and go away and they can put their master plan into action.

    Your partner needs to fully take your side any ignore their lies. Have him to spell it out to them plain and simple that if they cannot respect the woman who is raising their grandchild, then she will no longer be bringing the child to their house for visitations.

    Even though it may not be visible, the frosty air between you and the grandparents will have an effect on the child.


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    #7
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    Closed Accounts Posts: 44 ✭Trashed


    Partner is dropping son off 2mo so will have a talk with them.

    left them a message asking them to come to dinner on sun... awaiting reply!


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    #8
    smelltheglove
    Registered Users Posts: 4,503 ✭✭✭smelltheglove


    I think the dinner invitation is a great approach, if all goes well maybe have a word as they depart about how you would like to continue things with mutual respect, that you love their grandson very much and are proud to be a big part of his life, that he accepts you along with his father and you hope they will come to accept you also and maybe even respect you for playing such a big part in his upbringing.


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