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LGB Forum Meetup - Dakota, 6th March @ 17:00

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    #32
    Boston
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,163 ✭✭✭✭Boston


    Well I almost went to a gaycork.com meet up a few years back, but got put off by random sexaholics fighting over which one of them was going to put me up for the night.


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    #33
    YokoFactor
    Registered Users Posts: 15 ✭YokoFactor


    I'd love to be there for the Dublin one. I'm 21 and I hardly know any LGBT people, and the ones I do know don't want quiet, decent friendships, they want notches on their bedposts or whatever. It's really offputting.


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    #34
    EugeneOnegin
    Registered Users Posts: 57 ✭✭EugeneOnegin


    Epicurus wrote: »
    Well i'd be Cork; dont think i've ever ventured out though.

    Going back to the OP; im 25; and hardly know any gay people around where I live. I tried the Gaydar approach but found too many to be unwilling to reciprocate travelling for cinema/drink. Only so many times I could go to Cork (City).

    Why not join UCC or CIT LGBTs?


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    #35
    Donnaghm
    Registered Users Posts: 299 ✭✭Donnaghm


    I'm quite surprised by the sheer quantity of lads from a cosmopolitan city like Dublin who still feel the need to repress their sexualities judging by this thread. How in God's name are boggers like me from south Kerry expected to cope?


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    #36
    Epicurus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,397 ✭✭✭Epicurus


    EugeneOnegin wrote: »
    Why not join UCC or CIT LGBTs?

    It'd be an option; however not a practical one for me. I'd be far enough away from the city within the county for it not to be feasible to join these. I know there are a few within the locality but as the thread states; decent I have yet to find.


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    #37
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 41,062 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    Donnaghm wrote: »
    I'm quite surprised by the sheer quantity of lads from a cosmopolitan city like Dublin who still feel the need to repress their sexualities judging by this thread. How in God's name are boggers like me from south Kerry expected to cope?

    There is some sort of LGBT group in Kerry that I know of

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #38
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 41,062 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    Epicurus wrote: »
    It'd be an option; however not a practical one for me. I'd be far enough away from the city within the county for it not to be feasible to join these. I know there are a few within the locality but as the thread states; decent I have yet to find.

    Where in Cork? Maybe you could try and set something up yourself?

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #39
    Donnaghm
    Registered Users Posts: 299 ✭✭Donnaghm


    Johnnymcg wrote: »
    There is some sort of LGBT group in Kerry that I know of

    Yep, I think it's in Tralee though, far away from me. Thankfully I'm studying in UCC because I'd probably go insane if I was consigned to the "Kingdom" all the time.


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    #40
    opus
    Registered Users Posts: 4,999 ✭✭✭opus


    Epicurus wrote: »
    Well i'd be Cork; dont think i've ever ventured out though.

    Going back to the OP; im 25; and hardly know any gay people around where I live. I tried the Gaydar approach but found too many to be unwilling to reciprocate travelling for cinema/drink. Only so many times I could go to Cork (City).

    I've gone to a few of the gaycork.com meetups & they were grand although mostly in the city admittedly.


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    #41
    door
    Registered Users Posts: 203 ✭✭door


    YokoFactor wrote: »
    I'd love to be there for the Dublin one. I'm 21 and I hardly know any LGBT people, and the ones I do know don't want quiet, decent friendships, they want notches on their bedposts or whatever. It's really offputting.

    Hey I find the same thing. I don't know any gay people at all but having reluctantly tried dating sites (which Im still kind of uncomfortable about) I only end up hearing from people wanting to get down to sex. So I've never met anybody. I'm not into bars and clubs but also feel, just like the straight world, these are just one night stand sources. I really have no idea how I can meet any gay people at all. To be perfectly honest I just want a friend. Having somebody just to talk to, to share the difficulty of being gay but also to make progress with it as well, whether it is going to gay bars or gay events. Like I'd love to just go to the gay theatre festival or GAZE with somebody whose interested too. I really just don't know where to start.


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    #42
    Aard
    Registered Users Posts: 4,905 ✭✭✭Aard


    Why not start up some sort of "Boards LGBT Outings" (harhar) around Dublin? Seems to be a lot of guys would just like to meet up for a chat. If that is indeed what is sought, then I'd think going to bar for some drinks isn't the best way of getting to know people. (If yous are anything like me that is - I'm always more wound-up leaving a bar than on entering :rolleyes: ) Like was mentioned, cultural events would probably be the way to go. Wouldn't have to be specifically gay-related, but I doubt it's hard to find a gay-themed night once a month.


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    #43
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 41,062 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    seems a lot of people want to do things outside of pubs; could do stuff like walks,cinema, viking boat, - can be anything really

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #44
    dochreidte
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3 ✭dochreidte


    I'm from Cork as well, so if there is something being organised here, I'd be up for it! I'm 23, not into the gay clubs (or nightclubs in general, to be honest) and don't have any gay friends in Cork so would definitely be up for meeting some people! :)


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    #45
    ixoy
    Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 17,992 Mod ✭✭✭✭ixoy


    Meeting somewhere outside the pubs could definitely be an interesting alternative. It wouldn't need to be gay themed (beyond the bunch of gay men there) if it'd put some people at more ease.


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    #46
    door
    Registered Users Posts: 203 ✭✭door


    I like the suggestion of doing something different than pubs. It could be difficult deciding on something that there would be a big mutual interest though, as pubs tend to be the main centre of activity and which are commonly accepted. Unless there are any big events coming up at all. Films and theatre do tend to be the next big mutual interest after pubs.

    By the way, when groups from boards.ie or queerid meet up, how do they actually find the group if they dont know anybody? Just curious to ease the tension of maybe eventually deciding to go to one of these.


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    #47
    L1011
    Registered Users Posts: 68,704 ✭✭✭✭L1011


    Last boards meet someone had the logo on the table
    QID is usually a lot more informal, you'd pick someone you trusted off there and get their phone number, find them seperately and be introduced to the pack. At some things there'd be one table (like the Make & Do in Pantibar)


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    #48
    swirlser
    Registered Users Posts: 289 ✭✭swirlser


    lol, well add me as yet another 20 something who doesnt go on the scene!

    And also, even tho its been a number of years since I used gaydar, I remember only too well what a needle in a haystack it was trying to look for someone to just talk to. The only thing worse than a guy who "thinks" with his dick is a guy who also uses his dick to introduce himself ><! ugh...


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    #49
    opus
    Registered Users Posts: 4,999 ✭✭✭opus


    dochreidte wrote: »
    I'm from Cork as well, so if there is something being organised here, I'd be up for it! I'm 23, not into the gay clubs (or nightclubs in general, to be honest) and don't have any gay friends in Cork so would definitely be up for meeting some people! :)

    The last two gaycork.com events I went to were a trip to the cinema to see '2012' & a meal in Luigi Malone's so it's not all pubs/clubs. Sorry if I'm starting to sound like a cheerleader for the site :)


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    #50
    witty_name
    Registered Users Posts: 83 ✭✭witty_name


    If you're in Dublin you could always check out 'Outhouse' events online and see if there's anything that interests you!


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    #51
    Epicurus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,397 ✭✭✭Epicurus


    opus wrote: »
    The last two gaycork.com events I went to were a trip to the cinema to see '2012' & a meal in Luigi Malone's so it's not all pubs/clubs. Sorry if I'm starting to sound like a cheerleader for the site :)

    No good site goes without a cheerleader :)

    Must check this out.


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    #52
    Tricity Bendix
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,510 ✭✭✭Tricity Bendix


    door wrote: »
    I like the suggestion of doing something different than pubs. It could be difficult deciding on something that there would be a big mutual interest though, as pubs tend to be the main centre of activity and which are commonly accepted. Unless there are any big events coming up at all. Films and theatre do tend to be the next big mutual interest after pubs.

    By the way, when groups from boards.ie or queerid meet up, how do they actually find the group if they dont know anybody? Just curious to ease the tension of maybe eventually deciding to go to one of these.
    Main problem with theatre and movies is that they're not really social events. I mean, you can't talk to people during them. You have to go to a bar afterwards in order to talk to each other.

    And last time we had a sign on the table and a sombrero, so we were hard to miss.


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    #53
    Daith
    Registered Users Posts: 4,953 ✭✭✭Daith


    Tricity Bendix wrote: »
    Main problem with theatre and movies is that they're not really social events. I mean, you can't talk to people during them. You have to go to a bar afterwards in order to talk to each other.

    You could always meet up an hour before the movie is due to start and have a chat at the cinema beforehand. Cineworld in Parnell street is ideal for this. Then you have a movie to talk about anway after it?


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    #54
    Aard
    Registered Users Posts: 4,905 ✭✭✭Aard


    I was thinking more of an afternoon thing than an evening/late-night thing. Café after a movie sounds like an ideal alternative to the pub-scene. Plus, as Daith said above - there'll be something to talk about! I'd hazard a guess that this would be welcome for a group of people who have never met in person before.


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    #55
    Rick_
    Registered Users Posts: 2,610 ✭✭✭Rick_


    I'd love to push myself into doing somehting this year like this I don't have any gay friends and would really like some or a potential boyfriend, but as I'm in Armagh and most guys on here seem to be in or around Dublin, it just seems like such a trek to get to Dublin to be able to do something like this. I'm not a big pub/club person so maybe an informal meeting doing an activity or something other than drinking would be a great ice-breaker especially for people that have never met before. There's enough nerves to get over without alcohol giving you false confidence and cockyness that could just lead to all sorts of problems!


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    #56
    EugeneOnegin
    Registered Users Posts: 57 ✭✭EugeneOnegin


    Epicurus wrote: »
    No good site goes without a cheerleader :)

    Must check this out.

    GayCork Meet up is happening this weekend I think...


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    #57
    kisaragi
    Registered Users Posts: 404 ✭✭kisaragi


    Interesting discussion! Just wanted to ask the people who don't like "the scene", is it because you don't like going out in general or you just don't want to go out to gay bars?

    Not trying to be confrontational at all, I know it can seem like going out on a night out in the george or panti or wherever can seem like it's all about hooking up, but since I turned 18 up until November I was in a relationship (incidentally with someone I met online) and I had many a great night out with my friend's in gay bars just having fun, dancing etc., not looking to hook up at all. Lots of the time people have started random friendly conversations with me too haha. So I know that some people just hate going out at all, but don't be afraid of the gay scene, it can be a lot of (innocent :p) fun.

    Maybe it sounds kind of stupid but the first time I went to the dragon (my 18th birthday) I was just in awe, so many people like me in one place! I don't know how to explain it, I already had other gay friends and whatnot but it was somewhat comforting to know there were so many other gays out there. Yeah you'll get some a**holes but overall, I find "the scene" a very friendly and accepting place to be.

    (This sounds kind of like one of those "support our pubs" adds :cool:)


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    #58
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 41,062 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    personally - I like going on the scene now and again ie about 2 or 3 times a year, I also find it hard to relate to scene queens e.g. People who live in the george. I do find that the scene can be sociable but also sometimes very cliquish and closed. I'm not a big partying type that likes going to discos all the time either and I also prefer pubs that don't have constant loud music - I also find that
    having to travel a lot to the Dublin pubs is somewhat annoying - as an aside last year I felt so strongly about this that I set up a gay social group in my hometown of Bray. It's been very successful so far

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #59
    Daith
    Registered Users Posts: 4,953 ✭✭✭Daith


    Johnnymcg wrote: »
    I'm not a big partying type that likes going to discos all the time either and I also prefer pubs that don't have constant loud music

    That's what I like in general about PantiBar. More pub style than The George or the Dragon.


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    #60
    Rick_
    Registered Users Posts: 2,610 ✭✭✭Rick_


    Speaking for myself, I don't like the scene due to the music [type as well as volume] and the cliques. There's just something about younger teens who are camp as Christmas that irritates the hell out of me too.

    I don't go out to the pubs that often (my choice not to, prefer a carry out as it's cheaper and the hassles of a pub such as queues for drink/toilet, packed to the rafters, loud music you have to shout over, going outside for a smoke etc. don't come into play) but on the odd occasions when I do go out, I prefer a normal bar where you can sit and have a chat with a sensible music selection playing quietly in the background, maybe even have a game of pool or something. Not thumping 'dum dum dum' music and people dancing/jumping around everywhere. If that isn't going on then you're sure to have some older, lecherous types constantly staring at you or trying to get your attention and almost everyone who approaches you seems to carry a real false personality as if they are only chatting to you to mentally determine what type of person you are and if you're worth trying it on with.

    I sound like an old man or something but I'm only 25, and that might sound made up but that truly was the experience I had recently when I was eventually dragged out onto the scene. Safe to say I shall never be going again. The scene is just one place I really don't feel at home. It was truly awful. I can understand why people like it for the campness, the vapidity, the chance to show off your new moves to a Lady Gaga song, but I honestly couldn't stand it.


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    #61
    Tricity Bendix
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,510 ✭✭✭Tricity Bendix


    kisaragi wrote: »
    Interesting discussion! Just wanted to ask the people who don't like "the scene", is it because you don't like going out in general or you just don't want to go out to gay bars?

    Not trying to be confrontational at all, I know it can seem like going out on a night out in the george or panti or wherever can seem like it's all about hooking up, but since I turned 18 up until November I was in a relationship (incidentally with someone I met online) and I had many a great night out with my friend's in gay bars just having fun, dancing etc., not looking to hook up at all. Lots of the time people have started random friendly conversations with me too haha. So I know that some people just hate going out at all, but don't be afraid of the gay scene, it can be a lot of (innocent :p) fun.
    First off, I have no problem going out. I'd be out 8 days a week if I could afford to.
    Maybe it sounds kind of stupid but the first time I went to the dragon (my 18th birthday) I was just in awe, so many people like me in one place! I don't know how to explain it, I already had other gay friends and whatnot but it was somewhat comforting to know there were so many other gays out there. Yeah you'll get some a**holes but overall, I find "the scene" a very friendly and accepting place to be.
    Thats good for you, but my first time being in the Dragon (which was my first time in a gay bar of any kind) was the complete opposite experience. I felt that I had nothing in common with everybody around me, which ony drove me further in to the closet. I knew I wasn't 100% straight, but I also knew I wasn't "one of them". I was in the George for the first time not too long ago and I felt the exact same, even now that I am out and proud.


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