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LGB Forum Meetup - Dakota, 6th March @ 17:00
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Tricity Bendix wrote: »What makes you think I'm not "over it"? It's a discussion forum. We're talking about where to have a queer beers and why people don't want to go to a gay club. I made my point dispassionately, unlike your emotion-laden post.
Emotion-laden .....READ ABOVE!
God grant me patience!
Can no one respond to you.... you fight the fight but do it on your own.... :rolleyes:0 -
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When you use words like "bloody", type in caps , and use exclaimation marks, you're clearly trying to convey more than words.Emotion-laden
...what about it?.....READ ABOVE!
Um, yes people can respond to me. Many do. I'm struggling to see what you're getting at.God grant me patience!
Can no one respond to you.... you fight the fight but do it on your own.... :rolleyes:0 -
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It's at times like these I wish I wasn't living with parents....eagle_&_bear wrote: »ok, no bother with me, who has an apartment where we can bring food, beer/wine and a bottle hehehe:eek: 0 -
Speaking for myself, I don't like the scene due to the music [type as well as volume] and the cliques. There's just something about younger teens who are camp as Christmas that irritates the hell out of me too.
I don't go out to the pubs that often (my choice not to, prefer a carry out as it's cheaper and the hassles of a pub such as queues for drink/toilet, packed to the rafters, loud music you have to shout over, going outside for a smoke etc. don't come into play) but on the odd occasions when I do go out, I prefer a normal bar where you can sit and have a chat with a sensible music selection playing quietly in the background, maybe even have a game of pool or something. Not thumping 'dum dum dum' music and people dancing/jumping around everywhere. If that isn't going on then you're sure to have some older, lecherous types constantly staring at you or trying to get your attention and almost everyone who approaches you seems to carry a real false personality as if they are only chatting to you to mentally determine what type of person you are and if you're worth trying it on with.
I sound like an old man or something but I'm only 25, and that might sound made up but that truly was the experience I had recently when I was eventually dragged out onto the scene. Safe to say I shall never be going again. The scene is just one place I really don't feel at home. It was truly awful. I can understand why people like it for the campness, the vapidity, the chance to show off your new moves to a Lady Gaga song, but I honestly couldn't stand it.
I don't think the gay bars have any different music than your typical night out in a straight club (although I'm only in straight clubs about 5 times a year), though sure there's a lot more nights out to cater to specific musical tastes in straight bars. And what cliques do you mean? Sure a lot of people go out with their (similar) friends, but that's no different than anywhere else, after all, we associate with people that share our interests etc.
I get what you're saying though, it's definitely good fun just having a few drinks in a friend's or going for a quiet one (though I would tend to go to Panti on a quiet night for this). But yeah, I don't really think much of what you wrote about is any different from a night out in a straight club. Except that if you go to a straight club you don't really have to worry about lecherous types coming onto you I suppose haha.Tricity Bendix wrote: »First off, I have no problem going out. I'd be out 8 days a week if I could afford to.
Thats good for you, but my first time being in the Dragon (which was my first time in a gay bar of any kind) was the complete opposite experience. I felt that I had nothing in common with everybody around me, which ony drove me further in to the closet. I knew I wasn't 100% straight, but I also knew I wasn't "one of them". I was in the George for the first time not too long ago and I felt the exact same, even now that I am out and proud.
"One of them" is kind of a sweeping statement haha. I know that in the usual group of 3 or 4 people I go out I have a more masculine friend, a super camp friend, and I'm somewhere in the middle! But I can relate a bit to what you say because to be honest I'd be very reluctant to go out to any of the big straight clubs here, mostly because I'm a little intimidated by big drunk straight men and I know if I'm in Panti or the George I don't have to worry about someone picking a fight with me cause I "look like a fag" or whatever. That's partly why I feel much more comfortable in a gay bar.
So basically I know I can go to a gay bar and be myself and not have to worry which I think is pretty nice!0 -
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silurian1980 wrote: »Hi lads,
Good to see a discussion about getting out and about and meeting people as it's sometimes presumed that we are all into the scene and love it.
It seems there's a confusion between people who just aren't interested in going out at all and people who just don't want to go out on the scene. There is a big difference.
I would not be interested in the scene whatsoever, not because I'm quiet or shy or not out but because I dislike the rotten middle of the road dance music played in these places, the plainly exploitative cost of pints and the overt promiscuity dressed up friendliness you get from the regulars.
I go out to straight places simply because I find an atmosphere and music of a much better quality. Sure you're going to find people looking to hook up everywhere but I personally find most gay bars too sleazy and full of camp lads dancing around off their heads on yips to bad Kylie remixes - that just isn't me.
The problem being in this position is that it makes those chance encounters with other gay lads very rare when you're not involved in the scene. You might meet someone at a party or through a mate but it's very very rare and as a young red blooded male it can be a head wrecker!
Que gaydar. While I certainly wouldn’t describe users a scum (I've met some cool blokes) I certainly find my main problem is getting people away from their laptops to get out and meet. It sometimes feels as though asking someone out for a drink is too forward and scars them off! Then, as previous posters have said, you have all the guys who just seem to log on when they have the horn and send cock pics as a calling card.
As someone who just considers themselves a regular bloke who happens to be attracted to other lads, belonging to a 'scene/community' of people who for the most part are overly effeminate, dance to pretty crap music, constantly talk about being gay and idol teen pop stars is not very attractive and is quite alienating. My straight mates are not forced to mix with those types so it can be easy for someone like me to feel a bit put-out when that's all that's on offer in the shape of the scene.
Some lads won't like hearing how myself and like minded guys see the scene but it's the truth.
Whilst I have always known there are other lads out there who are just normal lads and feel the same way I do, it's been a real challenge to find them. So for these reasons I'd be well up for a boards.ie group event!
Has anyone any idea when they would like to do it?
What's a "normal lad" exactly?
I think ye are all a bit unfair on the camp guys in here. There's more to them than just loving Britney and skinny jeans. I know they might not be to your taste but there's no need to lambast them for it. I don't hear anyone complaining about how annoying it is to have to stand "straight acting" guys and how ridiculous they are. Even though it's TOTALLY SUBJECTIVE what you find annoying and ridiculous.
I don't really mean to single you out silurian1980 but I just feel like some guys feel they have a right to give out about camp gays just because they don't match up to their vision of "normality". For the record the bar I go to most often is Panti and there's pretty much all types there.
Not saying you're entitled to your opinion but I think we should be as supportive and accepting of each other as possible.0 -
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What's a "normal lad" exactly?
I think ye are all a bit unfair on the camp guys in here. There's more to them than just loving Britney and skinny jeans. I know they might not be to your taste but there's no need to lambast them for it. I don't hear anyone complaining about how annoying it is to have to stand "straight acting" guys and how ridiculous they are. Even though it's TOTALLY SUBJECTIVE what you find annoying and ridiculous.
I don't really mean to single you out silurian1980 but I just feel like some guys feel they have a right to give out about camp gays just because they don't match up to their vision of "normality". For the record the bar I go to most often is Panti and there's pretty much all types there.
Not saying you're entitled to your opinion but I think we should be as supportive and accepting of each other as possible.
You're right, it is totally subjective and it's a view shared by many, that's why I'm discussing it.
The scene is dominated by these types, that's the only problem. I'm wrong to compare a small city like Dublin to London or Berlin but in those cities you have such larger and more diversified scene where like minded gay lads can socialise with others whom they have common interests with. They are not forced to listen to ****e music (the music is a big gripe for me) and watch drag queens and mingle with the X Factor watching crowd.
I'm not wanting to banish that stuff, all I'm saying is that I don't want that on a night out so I don't go to gay bars. My straight mates don't go out to coppers or krystal or wherever to be subjected to that and neither do I.
I think that's what is being said on this forum and so the question of where you find lads who dislike these elements arises.
If there is more to them than Britney and skinny jeans they could better to show it.
Anyway, I didn't want it to turn into an argument I would rather see if we can bandy together a meet up for those who would like to
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If this meeting does happen I suggest all us saddos with no gay lives sit at a seperate table so we can chat with each other and then help each other out with mingling with the normal gays! That and I find guys in similar positions to myself more attractive so I can eye all of you up as well!
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