The Pregnant Womans Moan Thread.

wolfpawnat

At the Leisure Plex in Stillorgan now. They have toddler mornings were you can unleash your terrors for 2 hours for 5e. Now were I at home I wouldn't have any company, but sitting here I feel so bloody lonely. Stupid really.

banbhaaifric

wolfpawnat wrote: »

At the Leisure Plex in Stillorgan now. They have toddler mornings were you can unleash your terrors for 2 hours for 5e. Now were I at home I wouldn't have any company, but sitting here I feel so bloody lonely. Stupid really.

You have us!!
But I know what you mean by feeling lonelier when you are in a crowd of people.... My two closest friends moved away for work/family reasons in the last few years leaving me stranded where I don't know many people so I'm hoping this new baby will get me out meeting people again. Cork is so cliquey sometimes!

wolfpawnat

I find the bigger the place, the lonelier (sp?) it feels. When I had my son I joined 4 toddler groups just to get out of the house. Cork is a very lonely place I think. I never really liked it when I lived there. I suppose if I had brains I would have even brought a book

banbhaaifric

Thank god for the Internet eh? And at least the little one will be pooped from all the running around.
We are in cork for another year anyway as my daughter is doing her junior cert next year and we wouldn't like to move her. She'd love to move to London though! We'll see I guess.

loubian

I second the "you have us". But know how you feel. Had a family dinner on sunday, my brother had his gf over, my sister with her bf and kid, and i was there, pregnant and single. A bit silly now I think of it.

Just back from the appointment. Everything with the baby is looking well. The doc said it feels about 3kg and is head down and face down (ie not back to back). Am happy with that. Also they didn't take my blood, i had a look at the results from last time and my iron had increased a bit so they must be happy enough.

Definitely feel more pressure down below. My mum said she thinks the bump has dropped a bit, and feeling a lot of shooting pains in my bum! I was in my social worker meeting and I was wriggling on the chair because whatever way baby was moving, she was hitting nerves every second! It was quite painful.

In regards to the social work and the father, i have an appointment booked for two weeks for the two of us (me and the father) to go in so the SW can tell him what is rights are and aren't. She basically told me he has no rights, even if his name is on the birthcert. And the fact he has no visa means he's in a very vulnerable state. Both her and my counsellor (and others i suppose) believe he won't bring me to court as he will be making himself "legally visible" with no visa. In one way it would be good for him to know that if he wants to see his child, he has to respect my boundaries. But it also means seeing him and i think deep down i am hoping he'll just disappear. The SQ brought up that when the child is 10, she could start asking about her father, as all kids like to know where they come from. I had been thinking this anyway. She said for the child, it would be good to have his name on the cert to show the child she did have a father... but that i won't be forced to do anything i don't want to do. I got quite upset because i'm still being split in two by my own thoughts and i'm exhausted now. I want her to be happy, I want her to have the best life possible, but it's so hard for me to even begin to imagine trusting him enough to be around her. I know I don't have to meet him if i really didn't want to, but the SW said it'd be best to do it before the birth, get things straightened out, because after baby is born, i'll be busy with her, my hormones will be all over the place, and i don't want him banging down the front door demanding to see her. It's tiring

Sorry for the long message, just needed to get it all off my chest. I'm just very confused as to what the right thing to do is.

loubian

Also, regarding the nail infection, the doctor in the hospital told me to go to my gp about it. He didn't seem too concerned, so that is good!

Madisson

WAIT A SECOND.... i live in shellac.... i will hit any midwife who tries to take it off me. hahaha its the only thing thats keeping me feeling slightly nice about myself

wolfpawnat

36 weeks and 3kg, she is a fine sized little thing

As regards the whole thing with your ex. I always think that when possible to have the father on the birth cert, it is part of our identity, but sadly for many, it is not always possible, as the SW stated, it awards him no rights, many get confused by this.

It is good that you are meeting him with the SW there, that way you will not feel pressured into anything and remember, this is about you and herself, take as many small steps as YOU need!

Euch, overtired tantrumming 4 year old on a bus back home is not fun, everyone glaring that he had a tantrum which is more exhausting than just dealing with it. Home now again, but ironically not as lonely, as banbhaaifric said, it is worse in public, but still depressing. Er sure, could be worse I suppose is the way to see it.

Hello Lady!

MurdyWurdy wrote: »

We were told you can wear nail varnish because it's easily removed if you have to have a section and they have to check your nail beds for oxygen levels.

This is correct - although it is the same for any operation, not just us preggers mammies.
Having said that, last time I had an anaesthetic, the nurse told me just to remove the nail polish from the big toe on one foot and if I wear acrylics ideally I should remove them from all fingers on my hands, but if not possible, just the index finger on the prominant hand would do.

I usually wear acrylic nails on my hands, and like others it is one of the few indulgences I would hate to give up as it makes me feel so much better.

At the end of the day, if you were rushed in a week early and hadn't had time to remove nail varnish or shellac they would have to deal with it, so I wouldn't worry about it too much! There are other ways to check the oxygen - they can put those blood oxygen monitors on for a start and they work regardless of nail varnish!

wolfpawnat

I want to cry. I am so sick of being tired. I just want it to end. I am also fit to sue either my venous system, progesterone or both. Between the varicose vein down below and a huge haemorroid on my butt I feel my body is against me.

And I have the OH giving out that his mother wants him down for the weekend with our son because she is lonely. He will be after a long week of work exp and is already tired and she wants him down where he will have to mind our son alone as she likes to spend time with him but not exert herself with him.

Now the hilarious thing about this is my partner is admitting our son is mentally exhausting since it would be him caring for him, but me alone "sure its easy" :rolleyes:

The MIL doesn't want me down because she wouldn't be able if I went into labour and she just got the carpets washed. So I am expected to stay away, and if I go into labour here "you'll be grand you'll just have yourself to worry about"

Now the OH was going to go next weekend and bring the small fella with him cause they were going to the hurling, thats grand, one night, I can deal with that, but I am expected to just sit here on my arse every weekend because she is lonely??? she's only lonely because she is insufferable and no one can stand her for more than an hour!

I understand she is 70 and that its not right to have a person that age alone a lot but I am 1 week from fullterm on a medium risk pregnancy, surely I matter in all this too?

/selfish rant

Hello Lady!

wolfpawnat - you are not selfish at all. Your MIL is a selfish bint, and sorry to say, but your OH needs to grow a pair and tell her to PFO. He needs to put you and your unborn baby and your son ahead of her.

I'm sorry she is lonely, but she has lived her life, she has had her children and her marriage and now needs to appreciate that her son and his partner have theirs. She is not more important than you and the baby ever, but especially not now.

If he were my OH he would be getting short shrift I can tell you - there is no way on earth I would stand for that. You need to put him straight girlie - you, baby and your son deserve better than him putting his mam ahead of you.

loubian

wolfpawnat wrote: »

I want to cry. I am so sick of being tired. I just want it to end. I am also fit to sue either my venous system, progesterone or both. Between the varicose vein down below and a huge haemorroid on my butt I feel my body is against me.

And I have the OH giving out that his mother wants him down for the weekend with our son because she is lonely. He will be after a long week of work exp and is already tired and she wants him down where he will have to mind our son alone as she likes to spend time with him but not exert herself with him.

Now the hilarious thing about this is my partner is admitting our son is mentally exhausting since it would be him caring for him, but me alone "sure its easy" :rolleyes:

The MIL doesn't want me down because she wouldn't be able if I went into labour and she just got the carpets washed. So I am expected to stay away, and if I go into labour here "you'll be grand you'll just have yourself to worry about"

Now the OH was going to go next weekend and bring the small fella with him cause they were going to the hurling, thats grand, one night, I can deal with that, but I am expected to just sit here on my arse every weekend because she is lonely??? she's only lonely because she is insufferable and no one can stand her for more than an hour!

I understand she is 70 and that its not right to have a person that age alone a lot but I am 1 week from fullterm on a medium risk pregnancy, surely I matter in all this too?

/selfish rant

Wow ok, she expects you to be ok with going into labour by yourself? The first thing midwife said in antenatal was "do not be alone" when going into labour. Have a family member on standby if your partner isn't there. You're not being the selfish one, she is. why can't she come up to you instead? I know it would be a hassle but at least your oh would be there incase you do go into labour and she will get to see her grandson. It annoys me when people don't realise that it's hard being pregnant! Especially people who have been pregnant themselves!

wolfpawnat

Hello Lady! wrote: »

wolfpawnat - you are not selfish at all. Your MIL is a selfish bint, and sorry to say, but your OH needs to grow a pair and tell her to PFO. He needs to put you and your unborn baby and your son ahead of her.

I'm sorry she is lonely, but she has lived her life, she has had her children and her marriage and now needs to appreciate that her son and his partner have theirs. She is not more important than you and the baby ever, but especially not now.

If he were my OH he would be getting short shrift I can tell you - there is no way on earth I would stand for that. You need to put him straight girlie - you, baby and your son deserve better than him putting his mam ahead of you.

He doesn't want to go this weekend either. He thought he was being fair going next weekend, we know it is closer my due date, but it was going to be for one night so if it did happen, it would just be bad luck.

I get that she gets pangs of loneliness and that she is not getting any younger, but to me, her attitude that I cannot even come to the house because "she she she!" means she has to accept that my partner and son won't be down for any considerable time. When I said I would be worried about going down as she is an hour and a half from a maternity hospital that and all my c-section notes are in Dublin and I would worry for the baby, and her attitude was "forget you, my heart, my carpet, I'm not driving you" It is really upsetting she thinks so little of everyone else! If I start bleeding I could lose the baby or risk bleed to death, does she care, course not! :mad: I just want to kick her in the arse for her selfishness.

My OH is being a bit of a pain about it, but I get he is feeling the pressure to go from her, she is his mother and he worries about her and from his sister, who lives in London and pretends to be worried about her mother, guilting him to try and spend time with her when she herself won't (I maintain if she did actually worry, she would ring her more often at the very least). Sorry, I am just getting angry/upset about it all now.

wolfpawnat

loubian wrote: »

Wow ok, she expects you to be ok with going into labour by yourself? The first thing midwife said in antenatal was "do not be alone" when going into labour. Have a family member on standby if your partner isn't there. You're not being the selfish one, she is. why can't she come up to you instead? I know it would be a hassle but at least your oh would be there incase you do go into labour and she will get to see her grandson. It annoys me when people don't realise that it's hard being pregnant! Especially people who have been pregnant themselves!

You know, psychologically I have prepared myself for the situation arising that my partner may be forced to look after our son and I may have to go in alone, but I am okay with that, as to me, he is looking after our son, which is just as important as the birth. Worst case scenario he'd miss the birth, but the next morning he could sort a minder and come into me.

But the thought of being in Dublin completely by myself and for days, I do think the worry alone would cause problems. Even the one night thing, he could get the last train at night, or first train in the morning, but a few days??? I really can't imagine that is a good thing.

She won't come up, she thinks her beloved house and things will be robbed so people have to go to her, she won't even stay in our apartment (not that I ever want her here, but anyway)

loubian

wolfpawnat wrote: »

He doesn't want to go this weekend either. He thought he was being fair going next weekend, we know it is closer my due date, but it was going to be for one night so if it did happen, it would just be bad luck.

I get that she gets pangs of loneliness and that she is not getting any younger, but to me, her attitude that I cannot even come to the house because "she she she!" means she has to accept that my partner and son won't be down for any considerable time. When I said I would be worried about going down as she is an hour and a half from a maternity hospital that and all my c-section notes are in Dublin and I would worry for the baby, and her attitude was "forget you, my heart, my carpet, I'm not driving you" It is really upsetting she thinks so little of everyone else! If I start bleeding I could lose the baby or risk bleed to death, does she care, course not! :mad: I just want to kick her in the arse for her selfishness.

My OH is being a bit of a pain about it, but I get he is feeling the pressure to go from her, she is his mother and he worries about her and from his sister, who lives in London and pretends to be worried about her mother, guilting him to try and spend time with her when she herself won't (I maintain if she did actually worry, she would ring her more often at the very least). Sorry, I am just getting angry/upset about it all now.

Hugs.

You need to tell your oh that this time you have to be a bit selfish as you just want to be able to do the best if your baby came early. it's hard for guys to understand fully what could happen, so maybe try explain to him and tell him about your worries. You don't need this with only a few weeks to go. your mil is just going to have to come to terms with the fact that you can't be left on your own for the next few weeks.

wolfpawnat

loubian wrote: »

Hugs.

You need to tell your oh that this time you have to be a bit selfish as you just want to be able to do the best if your baby came early. it's hard for guys to understand fully what could happen, so maybe try explain to him and tell him about your worries. You don't need this with only a few weeks to go. your mil is just going to have to come to terms with the fact that you can't be left on your own for the next few weeks.

There have months on end we couldn't go down, seriously once there was a 5 month stint we couldn't go, and all of a sudden, twice in a month isn't enough.

I am getting a little worried for her on one hand, on another, I think she knows that after the baby is born, her son will be completely occupied with college and family. Again I feel guilty she will feel alone, but she was able to stop her daughter having children, she was probably convinced she would have them both at home to look after her when she became infirm, she always goes on about it, so it makes me suspicious.

loubian

Oh I'm feeling the heat I feel so sticky n disgusting! It's a mixture of excess weight and baby! Only 6.5 days left in work, only 6.5 more days wearing work clothes, then I can walk around the house half naked all I like :P

McBubbles

loubian wrote: »

Oh I'm feeling the heat I feel so sticky n disgusting! It's a mixture of excess weight and baby! Only 6.5 days left in work, only 6.5 more days wearing work clothes, then I can walk around the house half naked all I like :P

+1 on feeling sticky and disgusting, not pleasant!!

wolfpawnat

Nearly there loubian!

Spoke to the MIL, she was in Limerick today and got a few things for my son with a voucher she had for BT. Lovely, all nice, then she said she had 20e left and asked was there anything else he needed. He is good for clothes at the moment, so I said off the cuff "sure get a babygro or something for the baby, so we can have that as for the first photo's" thinking she would like to have bought the outfit we would take the photo's in, and off she went about how obsessed I was about the baby and how I was forgetting about my son and on and on she went. I snapped! Telling her she is ignoring the baby and is telling my son that he is the only grandchild she will care about and everything when now there are two. One will be as important as the other.

I also went off on her about the fact that the OH will have put down an insane week and she cannot expect him to then travel across Ireland to do jobs that can wait for him when he goes down the planned night next weekend. So at first she threatened to not mind my son tomorrow for my hospital appointment tomorrow and I said fine, but when he asks why he is sitting staring at 90 odd pregnant women for 4 hours in a boring hot room, I will tell him the truth. She knew I wasn't kidding, and calmed down. She then asked to keep him for the night tomorrow and bring him back on Friday or Saturday, and I said he would love that so everyone is calm again. Still though, could seriously have done without that stress.

loubian

Good for you for standing up to her! Do you feel a bit better now?

wolfpawnat

loubian wrote: »

Good for you for standing up to her! Do you feel a bit better now?

I try not to argue and just put my foot down, but saying I am putting one child over the other when I want them equal and it is she who is actually doing it, on top of the upset earlier with the whole taking the OH every weekend, I lost it

loubian

wolfpawnat wrote: »

I try not to argue and just put my foot down, but saying I am putting one child over the other when I want them equal and it is she who is actually doing it, on top of the upset earlier with the whole taking the OH every weekend, I lost it

Very difficult to understand how she thinks you're putting one child over the other! We all know how hard it is not to talk about baby when they're with us 24/7. Doesn't mean that those with other kids love the other ones less!

wolfpawnat

loubian wrote: »

Very difficult to understand how she thinks you're putting one child over the other! We all know how hard it is not to talk about baby when they're with us 24/7. Doesn't mean that those with other kids love the other ones less!

I always refer to it as "the baby" not my, my is the thing to avoid with other kids. And always "your brother or sister" to my son. I also say to him that he is the big brother, and I make sure to spend time, him and me, no references to the baby. So no, I am not obsessed with the baby, to be honest I am scared as I don't think I spent enough time even thinking about the baby. I am 36 weeks tomorrow and I have just about finished the hospital bag. With my son I was ready at 30 weeks!

loubian

wolfpawnat wrote: »

I always refer to it as "the baby" not my, my is the thing to avoid with other kids. And always "your brother or sister" to my son. I also say to him that he is the big brother, and I make sure to spend time, him and me, no references to the baby. So no, I am not obsessed with the baby, to be honest I am scared as I don't think I spent enough time even thinking about the baby. I am 36 weeks tomorrow and I have just about finished the hospital bag. With my son I was ready at 30 weeks!

I think it's different with a second baby?? I'm not sure obviously but first babies you tend to a) have more time n b) be more anxious to be ready! N you have spent enough time even thinking about baby! The fact you're on here everyday, whether it's ranting or just chatting, means you're thinking of that baby all the time *hugs again*

wolfpawnat

loubian wrote: »

I think it's different with a second baby?? I'm not sure obviously but first babies you tend to a) have more time n b) be more anxious to be ready! N you have spent enough time even thinking about baby! The fact you're on here everyday, whether it's ranting or just chatting, means you're thinking of that baby all the time *hugs again*

Really??? I think you could just accuse me of having too much time on my hands

loubian

wolfpawnat wrote: »

Really??? I think you could just accuse me of having too much time on my hands

Ha no of course not :P sorry :P

wolfpawnat

icescreamqueen wrote: »

We're all due so close together. It's so good to have you all to share the ups and downs with. I have my last appointment in the Coombe tomorrow. I'm going to a breastfeeding class in the morning too. Looking forward to it. Our antenatal class touched on it but didn't go into too much detail. What's everyone's plans- bottle or breast?

Breast hopefully. I tried with no1 but failed, expressed for 6 weeks. So going to do everything in my power to try again.

loubian

Woke up this morning thinking it was Saturday.. nope, tis only thursday

wolfpawnat

loubian wrote: »

Woke up this morning thinking it was Saturday.. nope, tis only thursday

I have it in my head it is Friday! Seriously cannot get that out of my head! I know it is Thursday, but still thinking it:rolleyes:

Synyster Shadow

Wolfpawnat- my MIL is in her 40's and a pain in my hole. Before I got pregnant she pushed me out a lot even after we got married. Then the smart remarks about red heads and so on. So I said what will ya do with a red haired grandchild she relied 'slap it' lets just say temper control was in over load. So I got pregnant and she couldn't be happier until she wanted to take over I think she thought it was hers. I felt smothered and told DH I couldn't handle her stressing me out and she distanced for awhile without him having to say anything thankfully. Christmas came and we were gettin baby things and new house to decorate and furnish so we didn't do the Christmas present thing as such. My hubby and I got nothin for each other and she made out he should have bought her somethin she actually said it to him Christmas day and ruined our day been selfish. Time passed again and Jack was born thought she was been ok for awhile then couple weeks old she sings at half 4 in the mornin woke us up and Jack just after a bottle feed and said she wants him to go over alone to her house. And she went on and on about just him on his own. Then added oh bring your friend with you. I filled with annoyance she wants him alone without me and the baby but someone she doesn't know (his friend) is ok to bring over. My husband let her know it was not acceptable and my husbands father too. They are separated but have contact. My hubby's sister then is another problem but I can say after baby comes it didn't get any better I know how you feel and if I was pregnant when she asked him over alone but with his friend I would have killed someone. They know how to push the buttons.