The Pregnant Womans Moan Thread.

Das Kitty

You poor pet.

Pat McGhee

Ah you poor doll, I really feel for you, it's horrible.
Hope you're being seen to now? Then get yourself home for tlc! Feet up.

inlikeflynn86

Thanks girls she said its the heat and BP is low. My underactive thyroid is gone awol so she increased the dosage.... Jumped in for a cold shower, was lovely... Thrown on the couch now. Will be here for the evening thank god for netflix

Pat McGhee

Good woman! Some ice cream, for medicinal purposes of course, will sort your evening out nicely :-)

inlikeflynn86

Pat McGhee wrote: »

Good woman! Some ice cream, for medicinal purposes of course, will sort your evening out nicely :-)

I like that plan

clare82

hi
are any of you feeling anxious about being a parent soon? im due at the end of sept (unplanned) and throughout my pregnancy ive been feeling worried about how ill cope with baby arrives. im v organised and have almost everything got etc but sometimes i just feel so annoyed that ive done everything throughout this pregnancy. i suppose what i really want to moan about is my boyfriend. ive always been the one who does things and gets things done etc in our relationship and though he is excited about the baby etc id really like to be taken care of a little bit more particularly now that im further along (31wks). lately theres been talk of him going back to his country for a visit...it could result in a job there and us moving there next year etc so i do support the trip however he intends to go for a month and i think thats unreasonable. im due the third week of sept and he plans on just swanning back to ireland in the first week of sept meaning he'll more than likely miss any antenatal classes and an active birth workshop i was hoping we could do! furthermore we need to move house by the end of august! by parents have already said they'd help us move (they'd be travelling up to dublin to help out etc) but it still means that the house hunting will be done by me and all that other crap like dealing with estate agents etc etc...the whole thing just makes me feel so depressed for the future...like im signing myself up for a lifetime of this kinda selfish crap..im really annoyed with him now and dont know how to make him see this from my point of view. and you know im just too feckin emotional to be dealing with this crap i really am:mad:

PuddingHead

Had a good cry for myself last night about the idea of being someone's adult and the complete idea of parenthood. It's totally scary and I think it's getting very real for us (30 weeks today myself).

Our bump wasn't planned either, and it's still kind of shocking, I think the thing that keeps me from Killing himself when he doesn't seem to see the big picture is, his body hasn't changed, his emotions aren't all over the place and for most guys, the delivery room is their first realization that they're really going to be a parent.

Obviously if him going back will result in work he should be going, and a month seems like an age but maybe he's thinking it's better to go for a month before the baby arrives than 2 weeks now and 2 weeks later and leave you with a small baby on your own.

Now don't get me wrong most guys are awesome but some don't get that there's so much prep in having a baby and nesting isn't really lost on them.

If you've normally done this organizing stuff, he probably doesn't realize that you're emotional, and sore and tired and worried because for him it's not real yet.

What I would do is make a to do list and time line, and give him a list of things you need him to do, explain why they're important to not just you but for your family and try and reach a compromise...

I usually comfort myself in the knowledge that this too will pass

Das Kitty

I agree that the realisation doesn't kick in for men at all until the labour ward. I actually felt so bad for my husband because all he wanted to do was help me but there was nothing he could do. He was terrified! Then he didn't realise he was a parent until they handed him the baby and left him alone with him for an hour.

I have to say though, the realisation doesn't really kick in for us women either, and in some cases like mine not for months! I kept thinking to myself that someone was going to come for the baby, that he couldn't be ours to "keep".

It's very tough going to begin with PuddingHead, it's a massive adjustment and it takes time to wrap your head around it. Yes you're going to be someone's adult, but all you really need to do is keep them ticking over in whatever way works for the first few months.

Your OH, seems to be doing what a lot of men do, looking to the future to provide for his new family. Don't worry about him missing the antenatal classes. Anything you learn flies out of your head anyway.

loubian

I have such a headache n I'm completely drained! If I went into labour tonight, I'd be pretty shattered!

banbhaaifric

Ok, quick vent....
Apart from a 5 week gap, I have been pregnant now since the 8th of may 2012 (we lost our little girl in Nov last year). That's almost 15 months. I had severe hyperemesis with the first baby, and pretty bad sickness this time which seemed to go away, but now is back with a vengence. I am so exhausted from being pregnant, it just feels endless and endless and endless.

And to top it all off, I work freelance and had a big job lined up for this summer which then fell through. It would have paid about a third of my yearly wage just for that job (work is concentrated in the summer for me), and now it looks like I wont have earned enough to cover maternity benefit so I don't know if I'm entitled to anything at all..... And because this job fell through, my husband is away working all the time now to try and make up some of the shortfall.....

On the plus side he has been an absolute rock and can't do enough for me when he is here.:) So there we go, I may be broke and miserable but I still have things to smile about.:D

And for those ladies worrying about their unplanned arrivals - mine turned 15 yesterday and she is the light of my life. Just trust your instincts, they will see you right

clare82

thanks for the replies
i think i felt better after writing all that rant last night
yea i know its a bit more real to us women long before it is for the guys and ive been explaining that to my boyfriend...usually after some teary emotional outburst but ugh sometimes i just want him to read my mind (good luck to me!!)
i was chatting to a co-worker who is also pregnant but with her second and she was also saying that the ante natal classes arent that big of a deal. its just we are planning a home birth so i really want the house to be organised and calm and whatever
ive a feeling im going to spending more time on this forum over the next few weeks..:o

Roesy

This baby hates the idea of me sleeping! I genuinely don't think I've had a full nights sleep since becoming pregnant. Last night was one of the worst. Am wide awake now. Husband has just left for work and to be fair he is not that noisy when he is getting ready. He says stay in bed but I'm one of those people who generally finds it hard to go back to sleep once they wake. Baby is wiggling around and I've an annoying twitchy muscle in my leg. Thought it was from the fall on Friday and seemed to go after physio on Monday but its back now :-( Its like when a nerve jumps in your eye except its at the side of my knee. Anyone ever have that happen before ?

PuddingHead

clare82 wrote: »

its just we are planning a home birth so i really want the house to be organised and calm and whatever

Only just started looking into this lately, because the idea of the hospital freaks me out, plus I'm really not a people person, so the idea of the labour ward and sharing a room (Public) really freaks me out.

My nurse thinks home births are a great idea, but I don't know anyone that's opted for it, unfortunately most of the women I know have had to have sections anyway. Any idea where I can get some info on it?

clare82

hi pudding
yea we live in south dublin and are having a home birth through the domino scheme in holles st. you'd have to be living in their catchment are which is generally south dublin and parts of wicklow. other than that you could look at www.homebirth.ie for a list of private midwives but not sure how that works really.
so far the home birth scheme with holles st has been going great. i see the GP and midwife every second visit and theres been no long waits (10mins max). last time i saw the midwife she called to the house so its really nice and personal:)

McBubbles

I'm sorry, this is not pregnancy related but really really need to vent!!!!! Just picked up our new car and oh wanted to call over to his sisters. While there her daughter scraped the side of our car with her bike!!!!!! Seriously we only have it about 2 hours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >:-|
Apologies.

red fraggle

im only nearly 24 weeks (but wohoo 24 weeks already!) and im finding it hard to tie my shoes! the leg just doesnt like coming up and i feel pressure or pain in my right side! i feel huge this time. its so different from my first pregnancy. and ive way more pains and my bump feels like its going to explode from the sides! its just wierd! does anyone else feel anything like this?

also my 18 month old kicked me in the bump today! monkey didnt want to be a great grannys house!

Das Kitty

red fraggle wrote: »

im only nearly 24 weeks (but wohoo 24 weeks already!) and im finding it hard to tie my shoes! the leg just doesnt like coming up and i feel pressure or pain in my right side! i feel huge this time. its so different from my first pregnancy. and ive way more pains and my bump feels like its going to explode from the sides! its just wierd! does anyone else feel anything like this?

also my 18 month old kicked me in the bump today! monkey didnt want to be a great grannys house!

It's probably the baby's position red fraggle. Mine was massive and killing me up to a few weeks back. The baby was sideways and both sides were agony. He's moved head down now and it's much more comfortable.

PuddingHead

My legs hurt, and the pains are getting higher and more intimate and I cannot afford to ring in sick to work, I reckon I've about 2 paid days of sick leave left for the year...

I am also in a world of tired... My partner found out last night he's probably only going to get paid his contacted hours at the end of August... so that's a weeks wages... then we have to wait until the end of September for his actual wages... I'm going to cry, I just want to pay for our travel system and be done with it. If we had that paid for I could calm down... I cannot afford both our rent, food, bills and the baby stuff I'm going to be in the red so much when this baby comes I'm terrified to be honest.

lolademmers

Puddinghead that's an awful situation to be in. I won't lie I have had a few melt downs too over finances and my poor OH is working every hour he can. We should be all excited about our new arrivals but instead we are worrying over how to pay for stuff. I'm already worried about how we are going to manage with regards to child care when i go back to work and my baby is not even due until October !!

Hello Lady!

Puddinghead - if you need time off sick, then you need to take it. I know that it is less than a salary, but if you are sick for more than 3 days at least you can claim your illness benefit. You need to put yourself first. I know money is tight, but pushing yourself won't help in the long run.

banbhaaifric

PuddingHead wrote: »

My legs hurt, and the pains are getting higher and more intimate and I cannot afford to ring in sick to work, I reckon I've about 2 paid days of sick leave left for the year...

I am also in a world of tired... My partner found out last night he's probably only going to get paid his contacted hours at the end of August... so that's a weeks wages... then we have to wait until the end of September for his actual wages... I'm going to cry, I just want to pay for our travel system and be done with it. If we had that paid for I could calm down... I cannot afford both our rent, food, bills and the baby stuff I'm going to be in the red so much when this baby comes I'm terrified to be honest.

Hey PuddingHead, I'm sorry you are feeling so swamped by things at the moment. It's so awful when money issues get added on top of everything else that is going on with you.

But just remember that, even though it might seem like your baby will need loads of things - they really don't. Your baby will need somewhere safe to sleep, a moses basket will do fine for the first few months. They are always on gumtree, donedeal etc second hand (from around €30) and all you will have to get is a new mattress (9.99 in argos!) Then you can take your time looking for a second hand cot in the same places

And I have to say, some of those travel systems just look like a complete rip off. You'll need a buggy your baby can lie flat in and a new car seat (they advise against getting a second hand one unless you know it's history, if it has been in an accident it's structure could be compromised). Buggies are always up for sale on gumtree etc as well so you can save yourself fortunes there too. You just need to have an idea of what you want and snap it up when you see it!

If breastfeeding works out for you you'll save fortunes on formula, bottles etc.

And if you want to go the whole hog - get cloth nappies :eek:(I just managed to get 25 from done deal for €50!)

You can also pick up babygro's, vests etc for next to nothing in charity shops, and sometimes they have gorgeous things too (like Kenzo, dkny, the list goes on )

Just try not to forget that there is a whole industry out there trying to get your money by making you think that you need things instead of just want them. Your baby needs a sane and happy parent more than he or she will need anything else so try not to stress. Easier said than done I know

Hello Lady!

And don't underestimate the willingness to help from friends and family. A lot of people sometimes feel awkward about offering 2nd hand clothes/items in case they offend you, so perhaps mention in passing that you would be happy to use handmedowns. You would be surprised at the number of people who will be only happy to offer you babygrows etc from their children once they know that they won't be offending you.

banbhaaifric

+1 to Hello Lady!

Last night my sister rang to see if I wanted her old breastfeeding chair which she had loaned to someone else. In the course of the conversation I mentioned I had just missed a cot on freecycle and she said the same friend was in the process of giving away her cot, and also had no one to donate her baby girl clothes to - so now they are all coming in my direction too!

Most people are dying to pass their stuff on to someone else I think. I know everything from my first daughter got passed on, and in fact my other sister just gave me some back - and my first daughter just had her 15th birthday!!

Reduce, re-use, recycle - it's the new 'buy everything new' dahling

grarf

my sides are aching from round ligament/growing pains, and I'm generally NOT in the mood for being in work any longer, argh! two more weeks from Tuesday, two more weeks... just cannot get comfortable sitting down today. Baby being wedged under my ribs doesn't help either. so tired!

PuddingHead

Thanks ladies, managed to calm down a bit since, it's just one of those... ughhhh moments when EVERYthing came at me at once but alas, the child won't care about any of this, so just need to keep calm and things will work themselves out!

Oh grarf you must be wrecked, although not long now! good luckkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

ameee

I had really bad heartburn with my first two but this time around it much worse it doesnt matter what I eat I end up with a neck full of acid

inlikeflynn86

ameee wrote: »

I had really bad heartburn with my first two but this time around it much worse it doesnt matter what I eat I end up with a neck full of acid

You have my full sympathy x I'm in bits with it, I get it mostly at night and mostly a glass of milk gets rid of it but milk don't often agree with me.... Absolutely hate it

Pat McGhee

+10000000 on the sympathy, I feel I should buy shares in gaviscon at this stage, I go through so much.

Das Kitty

These migraines are getting to be a joke. I got so confused today I couldn't understand anything being said to me. I got some cramps and I was so out of it I was in a panic.

Still a tiny bit crampy but now I'm thinking clearly I'm not worrying anymore.

Chattastrophe!

Wow that sounds scary Das Hope you're OK