The Pregnant Womans Moan Thread.

ShaShaBear

cyning wrote: »

My hubby would have no time for second hand stuff either: he also might be afraid of upsetting his mum? And he would be very superstitious about having anything in the house too. We literally only had the bare basics in the house... And I mean what was for the hospital bag and Moses basket and a steriliser with bottles. It can be overwhelming for dads too because they aren't physically pregnant, and they are worrying about you and baby. It can just take them abit longer to adjust.

He has no issue with second hand stuff normally and it was said that whatever we could get second hand, we would. Its definitely not about his mum either. She offered to buy a cot or pram and i want a new cot for sure so she can work away. Pram is going to be too small for the child in no time so I dont see the sense in spending a small fortune on a new one.

pwurple

ShaShaBear wrote: »

He has no issue with second hand stuff normally and it was said that whatever we could get second hand, we would. Its definitely not about his mum either. She offered to buy a cot or pram and i want a new cot for sure so she can work away. Pram is going to be too small for the child in no time so I dont see the sense in spending a small fortune on a new one.

Oh for gods sake, it's 65 quid. If you have to consult him about spending that amount on something that is essential , and you had agreed the principle anyway, you've a long road ahead. Does he need consultation about every grocery shop as well, or every fill of petrol? Are you trusted to renew your own insurance?

ShaShaBear

pwurple wrote: »

Oh for gods sake, it's 65 quid. If you have to consult him about spending that amount on something that is essential , and you had agreed the principle anyway, you've a long road ahead. Does he need consultation about every grocery shop as well, or every fill of petrol? Are you trusted to renew your own insurance?

Its not the money, its the fact that I bought it without him saying he liked it or was comfortable with using it. But like I told him, ill be at home while he is working so it will be me using it!

ncmc

Chattastrophe! wrote: »

My mum offered to buy our travel system, and I have to admit, I'd have been just raging if my boyfriend announced one day that he'd picked one out and put a deposit on it with no input from me. I think my mother would have been a bit upset too, when it was supposed to be her "thing".

If you try to put yourself in his shoes, can't you see how he'd be annoyed over it? I'm sure you would be, if it were the other way around?

Not trying to be mean, sorry. I do think he's got a point, though!

I find that strange, it's not like she went in to a shop and bought it full price (which would be a bit strange if the mil had said she'd buy it) she saw it at a bargain price and probably had to make a quick decision or lose it.

If my mum had offered to buy something that cost €600 and I bought it myself for €65, she'd be absolutely delighted I got such a bargain and either give me the money or buy something else.

Sounds like your OH totally over reacted to me shashabear. You were dead right to buy it.

ShaShaBear

ncmc wrote: »

I find that strange, it's not like she went in to a shop and bought it full price (which would be a bit strange if the mil had said she'd buy it) she saw it at a bargain price and probably had to make a quick decision or lose it.

If my mum had offered to buy something that cost €600 and I bought it myself for €65, she'd be absolutely delighted I got such a bargain and either give me the money or buy something else.

Sounds like your OH totally over reacted to me shashabear. You were dead right to buy it.

See, the long story is we saw one in Mothercare at about €200 and thought it was a travel system, aka had the car seat, carry cot and ability to be switched to a forward facing pushchair. As it turned out when I examined it online, the base price was €200, for simply the pram, and the entire bundle was over 600 quid!! I was horrified. We told his mother we saw a pram and gave the price of the one we thought was a good deal, and that's when she offered to pay for either the pram or the cot.
I'm assuming that she did this while under the assumption that the cot or pram was around €200 new either way.
His parents have money, but not the kind of money to be throwing around on prams that a child won't fit into! Not to mention this was for the most basic plain black pram, all black plastics and tough-looking materials. The ones with a bit of colour and brightness to them were closer to a grand!
I'm going to be a stay-at-home mum for a year, and am about 15 minutes walk away from town. My partner works 5 days a week minimum, anywhere between 10 and 16 hours per day, sometimes he works through the weekend. I don't drive, and walking into the store to see the most adorable pram in light navy with little silver birds on it in the beautiful old-fashioned carry-cot style with a nice big basket underneath if I need to go get a few things, a lovely matching changing bag, foot cover and head cover and attachable seat for making it into a stroller, I just swooned. It was literally everything I wanted in a pram. No offense to anyone, but I cannot stand these "icandy" ones that look like cut-open basketballs on stilts! I pushed it around the shop with tears in my eyes, it comes with a brand new ickle frilly white mattress and sheets and is freshly cleaned. He showed me how to take it all apart, fold it all up, change the attachments and it was so, so simple. €65 quid? I felt like I was mad to let it go - this is a small town, and goodness knows if I'd ever see a pram I felt happy pushing around town!

ncmc

Show him the above post shashabear and if he's still giving out he needs a good kick up the rear end!

ShaShaBear

ncmc wrote: »

Show him the above post shashabear and if he's still giving out he needs a good kick up the rear end!

I messaged the shop owner on Facebook and asked for him to send me a photo (he has a proper camera). Just forwarded it to my partner, and subject got totally changed from arguing about "the principle of things" to how handy it is that navy is unisex :rolleyes:

Sligo1

ShaShaBear wrote: »

See, the long story is we saw one in Mothercare at about €200 and thought it was a travel system, aka had the car seat, carry cot and ability to be switched to a forward facing pushchair. As it turned out when I examined it online, the base price was €200, for simply the pram, and the entire bundle was over 600 quid!! I was horrified. We told his mother we saw a pram and gave the price of the one we thought was a good deal, and that's when she offered to pay for either the pram or the cot.
I'm assuming that she did this while under the assumption that the cot or pram was around €200 new either way.
His parents have money, but not the kind of money to be throwing around on prams that a child won't fit into! Not to mention this was for the most basic plain black pram, all black plastics and tough-looking materials. The ones with a bit of colour and brightness to them were closer to a grand!
I'm going to be a stay-at-home mum for a year, and am about 15 minutes walk away from town. My partner works 5 days a week minimum, anywhere between 10 and 16 hours per day, sometimes he works through the weekend. I don't drive, and walking into the store to see the most adorable pram in light navy with little silver birds on it in the beautiful old-fashioned carry-cot style with a nice big basket underneath if I need to go get a few things, a lovely matching changing bag, foot cover and head cover and attachable seat for making it into a stroller, I just swooned. It was literally everything I wanted in a pram. No offense to anyone, but I cannot stand these "icandy" ones that look like cut-open basketballs on stilts! I pushed it around the shop with tears in my eyes, it comes with a brand new ickle frilly white mattress and sheets and is freshly cleaned. He showed me how to take it all apart, fold it all up, change the attachments and it was so, so simple. €65 quid? I felt like I was mad to let it go - this is a small town, and goodness knows if I'd ever see a pram I felt happy pushing around town!

Sounds gorgeous! Fair play to you for finding such a bargain and having the initiative to grab it! Good luck with it.

ShaShaBear

Sligo1 wrote: »

Sounds gorgeous! Fair play to you for finding such a bargain and having the initiative to grab it! Good luck with it.

It's probably not everyone's cup of tea, but I'm a very old-fashioned frills sorta girl :P

Here's a picture of the offender, feel like I owe everyone a visual explanation now
(I just know everyone's gonna hate it now and I'll think I'm bloody mad!)

dustie1

Thats fantastic value ShaShaBear and its a gorgeous set. I think guys just feel a bit left out in the whole process. We're having our first too and I bought a travel system on amazon Black Friday deals in November. I was just gone 12 weeks then and hubbie had been talking about buying stuff and I was telling him it was too early. It was my mum who said that it was a bargain and I should go for it. RRP was £500 and was reduced to £160 plus I had voucher for £80. Even though he was sitting there when I bought it, he wasnt impressed that i'd followed my mums advice. But i think its as everything is out of their control and he's just an observer. He wanted to go to every GP and midwife visit. I've no prob with scans but dont want him watching my give blood etc! We're 18w now and he's calmed down a lot (except he constantly wants to buy nappies in the supermarket??!!) Its a good thing there's 40 weeks to get used to everything

Millem

ShaShaBear wrote: »

It's probably not everyone's cup of tea, but I'm a very old-fashioned frills sorta girl :P

Here's a picture of the offender, feel like I owe everyone a visual explanation now
(I just know everyone's gonna hate it now and I'll think I'm bloody mad!)

I like it it reminds me of the silver cross ones. If that's the one you want then go for it! €65 you can't go wrong! I have it in my head that I want the cheap ikea Highchair for €20 and there is no talking to me! Travel systems are a crazy price ours was over €1000 but my mil insisted on paying for it! Tbh we would of bought it anyway as I had a bee in my bonnet saying that is the one I wanted. Different strokes for different folks. Did he go to mothercare with you and see the prices? If not bring him and that might change his mind!

ShaShaBear

dustie1 wrote: »

Thats fantastic value ShaShaBear and its a gorgeous set. I think guys just feel a bit left out in the whole process. We're having our first too and I bought a travel system on amazon Black Friday deals in November. I was just gone 12 weeks then and hubbie had been talking about buying stuff and I was telling him it was too early. It was my mum who said that it was a bargain and I should go for it. RRP was £500 and was reduced to £160 plus I had voucher for £80. Even though he was sitting there when I bought it, he wasnt impressed that i'd followed my mums advice. But i think its as everything is out of their control and he's just an observer. He wanted to go to every GP and midwife visit. I've no prob with scans but dont want him watching my give blood etc! We're 18w now and he's calmed down a lot (except he constantly wants to buy nappies in the supermarket??!!) Its a good thing there's 40 weeks to get used to everything

I definitely don't mean to leave him out. I'm off for a month from college and I'm pretty much stuck at home all day while he's kept busy with work.
He seems to think because his mother agreed to buy him a pram, that she wasn't bothered about the price While she may have a few bob kicking about now, she's just like myself and my mum, she came from nothing and knows exactly what it feels like to walk in and find a bargain. She recommended a day out in Dublin doing the charity shops with my mum not too long ago, so I know she'd be liable to hand me the money for this pram and say "Well on ya, I'll buy you a cot as well!".

cyning

It's a gorgeous pram I love the basket underneath... It's the only thing I HATE about my travel system is the teeny basket: it fits the raincover and nothing else! And it's a great price too!

I've lost a tooth but kept the root: at this stage pregnancy can feck right off for itself. Aaagh

Sligo1

ShaShaBear wrote: »

It's probably not everyone's cup of tea, but I'm a very old-fashioned frills sorta girl :P

Here's a picture of the offender, feel like I owe everyone a visual explanation now
(I just know everyone's gonna hate it now and I'll think I'm bloody mad!)

It's lovely. And if its what you want and it suits you and your partner then that's all that matters

Neyite

Its a lovely pram Shasha. And you are right - you will be the one using it 99% of the time, so you need to like it, to feel comfortable dismantling it one handed in the rain with a baby under your arm, or on a moving bus, so choose it for you.

There are loads of other things that his mother can splash out on - like you said, a lovely cot, or maybe a really good baby monitor with sensor mat, or even a nice high chair (though the best one ever happens to be €20 in Ikea.) There are a few things that need to be new - like the car seat and cot mattress, but the rest? go second hand if you can.

And while I get that some men might feel piqued at being left out of decision making, quite frankly, I'd have limited patience if he is giving out at you saving hundreds on a buggy. He wants to cop on, there is a baby on the way and splashing around cash unnecessarily is stupid, doing it with other people's money is downright cheeky!

rsl1976

ShaShaBear wrote: »

It's probably not everyone's cup of tea, but I'm a very old-fashioned frills sorta girl :P

Here's a picture of the offender, feel like I owe everyone a visual explanation now
(I just know everyone's gonna hate it now and I'll think I'm bloody mad!)

I think it's a lovely pram x

ShaShaBear

You hit the nail on the head Neyite. Doing it with within someone elses money would upset me. Id feel horrid expecting someone to pay that because of our decision to get pregnant!

January

It's lovely ShaSha... I did the same at 5 weeks pregnant... spotted a bargain on Adverts and had to have it... actually got it 50 euro cheaper than the asking price too, 120 euro for a Mamas & Papas Luna with newborn carrycot and car seat. Was absolutely delighted with myself. Himself was a bit apprehensive but went along with it. He's glad he did cos he loves it as much as me now.

ShaShaBear

January wrote: »

It's lovely ShaSha... I did the same at 5 weeks pregnant... spotted a bargain on Adverts and had to have it... actually got it 50 euro cheaper than the asking price too, 120 euro for a Mamas & Papas Luna with newborn carrycot and car seat. Was absolutely delighted with myself. Himself was a bit apprehensive but went along with it. He's glad he did cos he loves it as much as me now.

I know it's probably mostly because he can't fathom second hand like I do. He's imagining it will turn to dust within a week of use and we will have no come-back like we would with a new pram from a store. It's a proper consignment store, he only takes in stuff that is next to new - even the clothes have to be cleaned and pressed before he will take them from you! :rolleyes:
I'm confident once it comes home and it has baby blankies in them and a little teddy bear with a Liverpool jersey on and it's left sitting where he has to look at it, he'll fall in love

Millem

ShaShaBear wrote: »

I know it's probably mostly because he can't fathom second hand like I do. He's imagining it will turn to dust within a week of use and we will have no come-back like we would with a new pram from a store. It's a proper consignment store, he only takes in stuff that is next to new - even the clothes have to be cleaned and pressed before he will take them from you! :rolleyes:
I'm confident once it comes home and it has baby blankies in them and a little teddy bear with a Liverpool jersey on and it's left sitting where he has to look at it, he'll fall in love

I don't think there is no difference in buying it secondhand and getting it off a family member or friend second hand. I would buy a new mattress for pram though (they are so cheap just measure old one). You might be Lucky and get a Moses basket one to fit, if it is a funny size go on ebay in fairness if it only lasts 6 months you have gotten your money's worth (seeing as you are getting nappy bag too). You might prefer an umbrella stroller at that stage anyway if you are using public transport.

Suucee

Grrrr.

Woke at 3.15. Just couldnt sleep. Twisting and turning. Decided to go loo. Back in bed twisting and turning.
Had a browse on my phone followed by more twisting and turning.
20mnth old was doing a bitbof moaning (lil unwell at the mo) so in to check on her.
More twisting and turning, more browsing on my phone.
Decided to go get something to eat, put a wash on, pull all the downstairs curtain, take out the cereal bowls for breakfast.
Got back in bed finally feeling more confartable when i hear scratching. Went in to check on daughter again and shes spark out.
Back in bed thinking i imagined it when i hear it again.
Now lying in bed straining my ears to listen. Have to be on the road for 8 as have a funeral to go to and its a bit away. So no point sleeping now (even if i could)
Its going to be a looooong day.

Suucee

Grrrr.

Woke at 3.15. Just couldnt sleep. Twisting and turning. Decided to go loo. Back in bed twisting and turning.
Had a browse on my phone followed by more twisting and turning.
20mnth old was doing a bitbof moaning (lil unwell at the mo) so in to check on her.
More twisting and turning, more browsing on my phone.
Decided to go get something to eat, put a wash on, pull all the downstairs curtain, take out the cereal bowls for breakfast.
Got back in bed finally feeling more confartable when i hear scratching. Went in to check on daughter again and shes spark out.
Back in bed thinking i imagined it when i hear it again.
Now lying in bed straining my ears to listen. Have to be on the road for 8 as have a funeral to go to and its a bit away. So no point sleeping now (even if i could)
Its going to be a looooong day.

January

Stoopid hormones made me cry at an episode of Charmed...

Moonbeam

ShaShaBear wrote: »

It's probably not everyone's cup of tea, but I'm a very old-fashioned frills sorta girl :P

Here's a picture of the offender, feel like I owe everyone a visual explanation now
(I just know everyone's gonna hate it now and I'll think I'm bloody mad!)

Aww it is cute.
I would not use the car seat from it though.

Synyster Shadow

Had a weekend from hell from having a bug that had me convinced I would go into preterm labour to been dehydrated but been unable to eat or drink to now having anxiety attacks. I will safely say roll on a new week. Straight back to the doctors tomorrow with these chest pains. And get my appetite back. Don't get me started on how many times iv cried

Moonbeam

ugh:( you poor thing

ShaShaBear

Moonbeam wrote: »

Aww it is cute.
I would not use the car seat from it though.

Didnt come with one, were buying one new anyway

Chattastrophe!

I'm just gonna leave this here ...

Hello Lady!

January wrote: »

Stoopid hormones made me cry at an episode of Charmed...

It doesn't get any better once you have the baby. Hubby gave me a hug, I bawled. Had a bit of a sob watching Hayley in corrie. Cried in the shower for no actual reason (although I think that one may have been caused by exhaustion rather than hormones! ). Truth be known I don't have to wash the twins hair cos on a daily basis my tears give it a wash when I cuddle them! The sooner my hormones have me weepy only 2 days later month the better! Feel like such a big wuss!

clareames

god i feel like crying at the least little thing.... absolutely bawled my head off on NYE as none of my friends text to meet up - not that I even wanted to go out... just felt left out and fed up of not going out as i am too uncomfortable anyway... hubby was so good to me consoling me but i think I was just due a cry! At least we can blame it on something!! I am dreading baby being born for one reason as I will be crying so much with happiness im afraid it will be mistaken for the baby blues!!