The Pregnant Womans Moan Thread.

fro9etb8j5qsl2

Merkin wrote: »

You have my full sympathy. I'm 34 weeks now and mine has eased considerably over the last week or so but it's an absolutely horrendous pain and one I didn't experience with my toddler.

Are you based in Dublin by any chance?I actually spoke to my PHN about it and she referred me within days to a physio in Ranelagh. I actually didn't need her in the end but apparently she is incredibly sympathetic having experienced it herself.

Not in Dublin unfortunately I finally got through to the physio depth and was told that I'd have to get a gp referral and even then, it'll be a long wait for an appointment :rolleyes:

Tbh, with the thing that's wrong with my back already I'm not sure physio would even help but I'm willing to try anything rather than face another 20 weeks of this. I had it from 7 months with my other 2 pregnancies which was bad enough. Considering finding the money for a chiropractor visit!

spottybananas

Don't go to a chiropractor mrspostman, go to an osteopath instead.

Beanybabog

Fits that's hilarious!! Of all the things that could wrong with your hospital bag... :-)

catrionanic

+1 on the SPD easing up. I had about two awful weeks of it, but the last two weeks have been much better. I've just been taking it really easy, avoiding stairs as much as possible, bought a sheet that makes turning in bed easier, and been doing pregnancy yoga and it's really helped.

Am fully expecting things to get worse again at some stage, and am enjoying the reprieve while it lasts.

fits

Beanybabog wrote: »

Fits that's hilarious!! Of all the things that could wrong with your hospital bag... :-)

Have to wash everything in it now. *shudders* And the bars were wrapped and in ziplock bags!

sillysocks

fits wrote: »

Have to wash everything in it now. *shudders* And the bars were wrapped and in ziplock bags!

Sorry but laughed out loud at that story - imagine the panic if you hadn't noticed though and didn't open the bag until the labour ward! Zip opens and out pops a mouse running around :eek:

Notsomindful

Funny about mouse. Hope ye catch him.

So so tired today between the hour and kids party. yesterday.

Still at 10 weeks and so exhausted.

s4uv3

Out for dinner with family. Refused dessert because I just couldnt fit it in.
Mother in Law asked if I was "watching my figure".

LOL.

I told her "it's a bit late for that" as I tried to breathe in my tight-as-fcuk dress that fit perfectly a few weeks back

Gatica

catrionanic wrote: »

So I'm due three weeks after Christmas. Don't really wanna spend a lonely Christmas just me and the husband in Dublin - and my family desperately wants us to come up to Belfast, which is what I'd like to do too.

Given the fact that I'll be 37 weeks pregnant, I thought it would be sensible to have someone stay sober each day in case we need to drive back down to Dublin, if labour starts.

Suggested this to the husband and he's not having it at all. Wants to drink. Brought it up with my parents too and everybody has said that I'm being ridiculous wanting to go back down to Dublin to have the baby if it happens, and are all adamant I should just go to a hospital in Belfast instead. And that way they can all keep drinking. They think I'm being really silly wanting to go to the hospital I'll have made plans to have the baby in.

I'm so annoyed. Like ffs, I'll have gone nine months without alcohol and will be about to go through one of the most painful and stressful experiences of my life, and nobody will even stay sober for me in return? And they're lambasting me as being ridiculous for wanting to travel two hours down the road when im in labour (hello, don't most labours involve you spending at least a few hours at home in the house waiting until contractions are close enough together?!). They're telling me I'll end up having a baby on the side of the road.

Ughhhhhh

Very inconsiderate of him and your family. However, I would say, depending on the intensity of your labour, personally, I wouldn't fancy a long drive. Hubby had to drive really slow and carefully for me, only 10 mins away from the hospital. My contractions were only 3 mins apart though

Beanybabog

Gatica wrote: »

Very inconsiderate of him and your family. However, I would say, depending on the intensity of your labour, personally, I wouldn't fancy a long drive. Hubby had to drive really slow and carefully for me, only 10 mins away from the hospital. My contractions were only 3 mins apart though

Stupid question, but why is being in the car so bad? I presume it's the shaking / bumpy road?

LirW

Beanybabog wrote: »

Stupid question, but why is being in the car so bad? I presume it's the shaking / bumpy road?

With contractions only 3 minutes apart, that can be pretty much an indicator for "it can take hours" or "It'll take you 30 mins til baby is here". Plus you wanna move around and definitely not being bound on a small car seat with a seatbelt around your bump.

stickybean

This is a moan / rant... and maybe a little bit of me being a big spoiled baby... but I am sick of people taking ownership of our baby already... I know it isn't just OUR baby. But the little one isn't even here yet and I feel like everyone is really getting ahead of themselves.

My MIL is already looking into booking swim baby classes for the baby (something I haven't even thought about yet, especially since our baby isn't yet born). Also she has booked two days of work in Feb to "take" the baby when we attend a wedding ( we still don't know if we are going, and also the baby is invited, but SHE doesn't feel it would be right for a new baby to be at a wedding). I mentioned I am hoping to breast feed... SHE ALREADY BOUGHT FORMULA :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad: WT actual F??????

People are already offering to babysit, which I know is very kind and thoughtful, but I am freaking out a little about being away from the baby.

My friends have booked a Santa visit... our baby is due in Dec. If we decide to bring the baby to see Santa I wanted it to be something WE decide on.

We also don't know the sex of our baby, but they have DECIDED I am having a boy, and went out and bought blue clothes, bedding and a blue bear....

On the upside the constant visiting has slowed down we are down to once a week and 2-3 phone calls (I think my husband may have said something)

Turnipman

stickybean wrote: »

This is a moan / rant... and maybe a little bit of me being a big spoiled baby... but I am sick of people taking ownership of our baby already... I know it isn't just OUR baby. But the little one isn't even here yet and I feel like everyone is really getting ahead of themselves.

My MIL is already looking into booking swim baby classes for the baby (something I haven't even thought about yet, especially since our baby isn't yet born). Also she has booked two days of work in Feb to "take" the baby when we attend a wedding ( we still don't know if we are going, and also the baby is invited, but SHE doesn't feel it would be right for a new baby to be at a wedding). I mentioned I am hoping to breast feed... SHE ALREADY BOUGHT FORMULA :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad: WT actual F??????

People are already offering to babysit, which I know is very kind and thoughtful, but I am freaking out a little about being away from the baby.

My friends have booked a Santa visit... our baby is due in Dec. If we decide to bring the baby to see Santa I wanted it to be something WE decide on.

We also don't know the sex of our baby, but they have DECIDED I am having a boy, and went out and bought blue clothes, bedding and a blue bear....

My missus wants to know whether you'd like to pre-book some Leaving Cert maths grinds for your boy? She said to tell you that she'll offer you a special early booking rate of only €99 an hour if you book before Christmas!

Beanybabog

stickybean wrote: »

This is a moan / rant... and maybe a little bit of me being a big spoiled baby... but I am sick of people taking ownership of our baby already... I know it isn't just OUR baby. But the little one isn't even here yet and I feel like everyone is really getting ahead of themselves.

:D:D:D It's annoying alright, BUT they do have the baby's best interests at heart and are just excited about the new arrival.

ally_pally

That sounds very overwhelming stickybean. Even though you know it comes from a lovely place of excitement and love, and you'll probably really love having such involved family and friends when the baby arrives, it's all a bit much especially right now.

Are the Santa visit and swim classes things they're booking as presents for you? As in, is it intended that you and your partner will be bringing the baby to Santa together or do your friends think they'll have an outing to see Santa with your little one? If it's the former, I'd accept the gift but have no qualms whatsoever in not using it if you decide you don't want to. You didn't ask for it, you never said you wanted it, so feel no compulsion to go. If it's the latter, well then that's a bit mad on their part and you maybe need to have a word with them. You're first time parents (I think, correct me if I'm wrong) so while their excitement is lovely you want to have these firsts and these milestones with your baby yourselves.

Same goes for the formula your MIL bought. (The mind boggles at that btw.) And her taking days off to mind the baby while you're at a wedding. You never asked her to do these things and even though some might see it as thoughtful, those two things especially strike me as her laying down the law a bit and imposing her own ideas about child-rearing on YOUR family. Go right ahead and do whatever you want. Breastfeed or not depending on YOUR choice. Plonk your baby down as the decoration on top of the wedding cake if you want. These kind of things can be a slippery slope at times.

stickybean

ally_pally wrote: »

Are the Santa visit and swim classes things they're booking as presents for you? As in, is it intended that you and your partner will be bringing the baby to Santa together or do your friends think they'll have an outing to see Santa with your little one? If it's the former, I'd accept the gift but have no qualms whatsoever in not using it if you decide you don't want to. You didn't ask for it, you never said you wanted it, so feel no compulsion to go. If it's the latter, well then that's a bit mad on their part and you maybe need to have a word with them. You're first time parents (I think, correct me if I'm wrong) so while their excitement is lovely you want to have these firsts and these milestones with your baby yourselves.

Same goes for the formula your MIL bought. (The mind boggles at that btw.) And her taking days off to mind the baby while you're at a wedding. You never asked her to do these things and even though some might see it as thoughtful, those two things especially strike me as her laying down the law a bit and imposing her own ideas about child-rearing on YOUR family. Go right ahead and do whatever you want. Breastfeed or not depending on YOUR choice. Plonk your baby down as the decoration on top of the wedding cake if you want. These kind of things can be a slippery slope at times.

No she wants to take the baby swimming and is looking at booking them to start in March. Also wants to start music classes.

The Santa visit is we'll all go with the baby.

I have an older daughter, but this is my husbands first biological child, and the first baby grandchild in there family. We don't know if the baby will be early or late, or even if everything will be okay. I know it is easy to get excited but just want to tell everyone to calm down, let me enjoy the last few weeks being pregnant, please God we have years ahead to plan everything.

I fully intend to breast feed, I know she and her family don't gree with it, and to be honest that is okay, I would never tell them what to do, but this is something I really want to do for our baby.

Beanybabog

ally_pally wrote: »

Same goes for the formula your MIL bought. (The mind boggles at that btw.)

Nip that one in the bud. I have a friend who said her mother in law constantly made comments about the poor baby needing a bottle and tried to give the baby formula as she didn't breastfeed herself so she took the fact the DIL was as some sort of personal affront to her way of being a mother

stickybean

Beanybabog wrote: »

Nip that one in the bud. I have a friend who said her mother in law constantly made comments about the poor baby needing a bottle and tried to give the baby formula as she didn't breastfeed herself so she took the fact the DIL was as some sort of personal affront to her way of being a mother

She doesn't like the idea of breast feeding... said there is no need these days when formula is available... I think the term used was a bit exhibitionist and hippy like, also very inconvenient (as in only the mother can feed or pump) and it stops other people bonding with the baby. I just say nothing

LirW

stickybean wrote: »

No she wants to take the baby swimming and is looking at booking them to start in March. Also wants to start music classes.

The Santa visit is we'll all go with the baby.

I have an older daughter, but this is my husbands first biological child, and the first baby grandchild in there family. We don't know if the baby will be early or late, or even if everything will be okay. I know it is easy to get excited but just want to tell everyone to calm down, let me enjoy the last few weeks being pregnant, please God we have years ahead to plan everything.

I fully intend to breast feed, I know she and her family don't gree with it, and to be honest that is okay, I would never tell them what to do, but this is something I really want to do for our baby.

Unfortunately I think you really need to make your boundaries clear. Otherwise people like that won't get it. I understand when a baby arrives, especially the first, everyone's just going crazy. I would find all of that way too much and I feel for you.

Being a mother sometimes also means to clearly communicate what is right for you, your partner and the baby. You don't want her to go to swimming classes? Tell her so, she might be upset but that's the way it is. Jesus, it's a baby, not a little play doll for relatives.
Involve your husband in that, tell him, it's too much, maybe him saying something is a bit different than "crazy future mommy" :rolleyes:

stickybean

LirW wrote: »

Unfortunately I think you really need to make your boundaries clear. Otherwise people like that won't get it. I understand when a baby arrives, especially the first, everyone's just going crazy. I would find all of that way too much and I feel for you.

Being a mother sometimes also means to clearly communicate what is right for you, your partner and the baby. You don't want her to go to swimming classes? Tell her so, she might be upset but that's the way it is. Jesus, it's a baby, not a little play doll for relatives.
Involve your husband in that, tell him, it's too much, maybe him saying something is a bit different than "crazy future mommy" :rolleyes:

Oh believe me I do feel overwhelmed and it really has got me down. I spoke to my husband and have asked him to have a word, I think he said it about the visiting, which has stopped a good bit. His attitude is wait till the baby gets here and we will deal with it then.

The breast feeding side, he said he will 100% support me on. I just wish he would speak up, neither of us are very confrontational.

Beanybabog

stickybean wrote: »

She doesn't like the idea of breast feeding... said there is no need these days when formula is available... I think the term used was a bit exhibitionist and hippy like, also very inconvenient (as in only the mother can feed or pump) and it stops other people bonding with the baby. I just say nothing

My blood would boil. :mad: Exhibitionist?!!? Hippy???And people wonder why our breastfeeding rates are so low. You think she'd be happy you are trying to do what you think is the best for the baby.

I am trying to think of a really cutting come back here!!:D:D I'd probably have been speechless myself

ally_pally

I'm already preparing myself for fights over breastfeeding with my mother. She thinks it's akin to child abuse as breastfed babies are always "half starved" apparently. :rolleyes:

As mad as this sounds, it might be useful to have some pre-prepared phrases in response to her digs. "Thanks Mary, but myself and OH agree we want to breastfeed our child / I take your point Mary, there are loads of opinions out there about feeding but OH and I agree this is what we want for our child." Calm, polite, firm. And if she keeps needling at you, just keep repeating some variation of that phrase until she gets sick of hearing it. There's no point arguing the benefits of one method over another as you won't convince her, just as she won't convince you. So a phrase to shut down that line of conversation could work.

LirW

I'm just bringing up, a lot of women just don't know better. This is the generation of when formula was new on the market and the general spirit was keeping the child quiet as long as possible. I can understand to a certain degree that these women wouldn't understand. Especially since they brought up children qualifies them in their eyes to know everything about contemporary childcare. A lot of old methods are outdated and happily women do have a choice in the regards of feeding. Of pretty much everything.
I think approaching future grandparents with that mindset makes it maybe a bit easier.

Myself, when I think of my little breastfed fella, he was feckin' Buddha, he looked like he was on a double cream only-diet. And then there are kids growing slower because that's the way they are.

It really baffles me, that topics like that are still such a big deal.

Beanybabog

ally_pally wrote: »

I'm already preparing myself for fights over breastfeeding with my mother. She thinks it's akin to child abuse as breastfed babies are always "half starved" apparently. :rolleyes:

As mad as this sounds, it might be useful to have some pre-prepared phrases in response to her digs.

"Is that what people believed in your day Mary? It seems crazy the type of things uneducated people accepted as fact":D:D

Neyite

Stickybean, honestly I would say to address it now. Otherwise you'll be trying to argue your case when you are sleep deprived, hormones are still settling and you are trying to bond with your baby. The last thing you'll need is them doorstepping you when you are knackered and just too tired to confront them.

This isn't your MIL's second shot at motherhood or her do-over baby.

The swimming lessons I'd be particularly gutted at because for me, those lessons for me and my new baby were a great fun activity and bonding time. And I'd make it clear that if anyone even attempts to feed your baby anything but your breast milk, that it would be a long bloody time before they got near him/ her again. My MIL was of the formula generation too and I know she had her doubts that I was feeding the baby properly but she only ever mentioned it to my SIL who scoffed at it, never to my face.

I'd also be making sure that you don't let anyone know when you are in labour otherwise you might end up with your husband giving her constant updates instead of focusing on helping you in the delivery room.

If your OH wont confront them, then go ballistic and blame the hormones.

spottybananas

I went the route of inundating my mother in law with amazing breastfeeding facts whenever something negative was said, that shut her and any others up. Point out that it's free and the lazy option, no getting up to make bottles. Arguing with free stuff is just stupid! My son is a solid lump of a child, taller than average, will eat anything and has no digestive issues, I literally repeat ad nauseum "that'll be the breastfeeding!"

I have to say though, I'd nearly let her take the baby to the first swimming class and you go "just to watch". They won't be in the water or at worst the changing room before she'll see sense, the horror of dressing a wet exhausted breastfed baby will have her deciding never to do it again.

IvyTheTerrible

Neyite wrote: »

Stickybean, honestly I would say to address it now. Otherwise you'll be trying to argue your case when you are sleep deprived, hormones are still settling and you are trying to bond with your baby. The last thing you'll need is them doorstepping you when you are knackered and just too tired to confront them.

This isn't your MIL's second shot at motherhood or her do-over baby.

The swimming lessons I'd be particularly gutted at because for me, those lessons for me and my new baby were a great fun activity and bonding time. And I'd make it clear that if anyone even attempts to feed your baby anything but your breast milk, that it would be a long bloody time before they got near him/ her again. My MIL was of the formula generation too and I know she had her doubts that I was feeding the baby properly but she only ever mentioned it to my SIL who scoffed at it, never to my face.

I'd also be making sure that you don't let anyone know when you are in labour otherwise you might end up with your husband giving her constant updates instead of focusing on helping you in the delivery room.

If your OH wont confront them, then go ballistic and blame the hormones.

I'd also advise on giving a due date to the family that's 2 weeks later than the real date, you won't be hassled every five minutes to know if you've started yet.

Gatica

Beanybabog wrote: »

Stupid question, but why is being in the car so bad? I presume it's the shaking / bumpy road?

Yes, you'd feel every bump in the road.

scarepanda

Beanybabog wrote:

Stupid question, but why is being in the car so bad? I presume it's the shaking / bumpy road?

You feel every single bump, turn, vibration, brake, acceleration etc on the journey. I had back labour, contractions every 2/3 minutes, 50minute car journey to hospital with 30mins of it on motorway and it was torture! We didn't go to our local hospital and it was the only time I regretted that decision.

stickybean

Neyite wrote: »

Stickybean, honestly I would say to address it now. Otherwise you'll be trying to argue your case when you are sleep deprived, hormones are still settling and you are trying to bond with your baby. The last thing you'll need is them doorstepping you when you are knackered and just too tired to confront them.

This isn't your MIL's second shot at motherhood or her do-over baby.

The swimming lessons I'd be particularly gutted at because for me, those lessons for me and my new baby were a great fun activity and bonding time. And I'd make it clear that if anyone even attempts to feed your baby anything but your breast milk, that it would be a long bloody time before they got near him/ her again. My MIL was of the formula generation too and I know she had her doubts that I was feeding the baby properly but she only ever mentioned it to my SIL who scoffed at it, never to my face.

I'd also be making sure that you don't let anyone know when you are in labour otherwise you might end up with your husband giving her constant updates instead of focusing on helping you in the delivery room.

If your OH wont confront them, then go ballistic and blame the hormones.

Oh I know Neyite, I just really don't have the energy right now... I just want to lock myself away for the next 5 weeks and enjoy being pregnant. It took us close to 5 years to get here, and don't get me wrong, I can't wait to meet our baby, but I am just so tired of her and everyone trying to rush us along. This time is so precious to me and I just want to enjoy it, as soon as I say anything it'll end in an argument and I just don't have the strength.

My husband is trying, but I guess he is feeling a bit in the middle. I have told him how I feel, had a few "hormonal" rages, but it doesn't get me anywhere, just bad feeling between us.

And I do want to take my baby swimming and do all those firsts with them. I am the mammy after all. She has had her 3 kids and while I will be happy to let everyone be apart of the babies life, at the end of the day it is our baby. (just wish I could say that to the world)